The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

Chapter 6

Chapter 6	6.
Howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl gargle gargle howl gargle gargle gargle howl slurrp uuuurgh should have a good time. Message repeats. This is your captain speaking, so stop whatever you’re doing and pay attention. First of all I see from our instruments that we have a couple of hitchhikers aboard. Hello, wherever you are. I just want to make it totally clear that you are not at all welcome. I worked hard to get where I am today, and I didn’t become captain of a Vogon constructor ship simply so I could turn it into a taxi service for a load of degenerate freeloaders. I have sent out a search party, and as soon as they find you I will put you off the ship. If you’re very lucky I might read you some of my poetry first.	"Url url garglj url garglj url url url garglj url garglj url url garglj garglj url garglj garglj garglj url slurp uurg bi se iko drugi zabavljao. Ponavljam. Govori vaš kapetan i zato prekinite to što radite i slušajte. Najpre, po instrumentima vidim da na brodu imamo dva autostopera. Čujte me, gde god da ste. Hteo bih da budete načisto sa time da uopšte niste dobro došli. Teško sam radio da bih dospeo ovde, nije mi bilo lako da postanem zapovednik vogonske konstruktorske flote i zato ne želim da je sada pretvorim u taksi službu za bandu degenerisanih žicaroša. Poslao sam istražnu grupu i čim vas budu našli bićete izbačeni sa broda. Ako budete imali sreće, prvo ću malo da vam čitam svoje pesme.
“Secondly, we are about to jump into hyperspace for the journey to Barnard’s Star. On arrival we will stay in dock for a seventy-two-hour refit, and no one’s to leave the ship during that time. I repeat, all planet leave is canceled. I’ve just had an unhappy love affair, so I don’t see why anybody else should have a good time. Message ends.”	Drugo, uskoro ćemo izvesti hipersvemirski skok prema Barnardovoj zvezdi. Kada stignemo, provešćemo sedamdeset dva sata na doku radi popravki, a tokom tog vremena nikome nije dozvoljeno da napušta brod. Ponavljam, svaki izlaz na planetu je zbranjen. Nedavno sam se nesrećno zaljubio i zato ne vidim zašto bi se iko drugi zabavljao. Kraj poruke."
The noise stopped.	Buka prestade.
Arthur discovered to his embarrassment that he was lying curled up in a small ball on the floor with his arms wrapped round his head. He smiled weakly.	Artur zaprepašćeno otkri da leži na podu, zgrčen, ruku obavijenih oko glave. Onda se slabašno nasmeši.
“Charming man,” he said. “I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one …”	"Divan čovek", rekao je. "Voleo bih da imam kćerku da bih mogao da joj zabranim da se uda za takvog..."
“You wouldn’t need to,” said Ford. “They’ve got as much sex appeal as a road accident. No, don’t move,” he added as Arthur began to uncurl himself, “you’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”	"Ne bi to ni morao", reče Ford. "Oni seks vole koliko i saobraćajnu nesreću. Ne, ne mrdaj", dodade on kada je Artur počeo da se odmotava, "bolje ti je da se pripremiš za hipersvemirski skok. Neugodan je kao pijanstvo."
“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”	"Kako pijanstvo može da ti naškodi?"
“You ask a glass of water.”	"Pitaj čašu vode."
Arthur thought about this.	Artur razmisli o tome.
“Ford,” he said.	"Forde", rekao je.
“Yeah?”	"Da?"
“What’s this fish doing in my ear?”	"Šta radi ta ribica u mom uvu?"
“It’s translating for you. It’s a Babel fish. Look it up in the book if you like.”	"Prevodi. To je vavilonska ribica. Pogledaj u knjigu ako želiš."
He tossed over The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and then curled himself up into a fetal ball to prepare himself for the jump.	Pružio mu je Autostoperski vodič kroz Galaksiju i zatim se zgrčio u fetalni položaj da bi se pripremio za skok.
At that moment the bottom fell out of Arthur’s mind.	U istom trenutku, dno otpade s Arturovog uma.
His eyes turned inside out. His feet began to leak out of the top of his head.	Oči mu se okrenuše naopačke. Tabani mu procureše kroz potiljak.
The room folded flat around him, spun around, shifted out of existence and left him sliding into his own navel.	Soba oko njega spljoštila se, zavrtela, iščezla i ostavila ga da se skuplja u unutrašnjost sopstvenog stomaka.
They were passing through hyperspace.	Putovali su kroz hipersvemir.
“The Babel fish,” said The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy quietly, “is small, yellow and leechlike, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centers of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.	"Vavilonska ribica", govorio je tiho Autostoperski vodič kroz Galaksiju, "mala je, žuta, liči na pijavicu i verovatno predstavlja najčudnovatiju pojavu u čitavoj Vaseljeni. Ona se hrani energijom moždanih talasa koje prima ne od svog nosioca već od onih koji ga okružuju. Ona apsorbuje sve nesvesne mentalne učestalosti iz njihovih moždanih talasa da bi se njima prehranila. Zatim u um nosioca luči telepatsku matricu koja se formira kombinovanjem učestalosti svesnih misli s nervnim signalima pokupljenim iz središta za govor mozga koji ih emituje. To sve praktično znači da, ukoliko ugurate vavilonsku ribicu u uvo, možete smesta da razumete sve što vam se izgovori na bilo kom jeziku. Govor koji čujete u stvarnosti dekodira matricu moždanih talasa koju vam u um ubacuje vaša vavilonska ribica.
“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a fina and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God.	Toliko je besmisleno neverovatna mogućnost da nešto tako neopisivo korisno evoluira najobičnijim spletom okolnosti, da to neki mislioci vide kao konačan i neoboriv dokaz o nepostojanju Boga.
“The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’	Dokaz ide otprilike ovako: 'Odbijam da dokažem da postojim', kaže Bog, 'jer dokazivanje pobija veru, a bez vere ja nisam ništa.'
“‘But,’ says Man, ‘the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’	'Ali', kaže čovek, 'vavilonska ribica je dokaz, zar ne? Ona nije mogla da nastane slučajno. Ona dokazuje da postojiš, dakle prema tvojim sopstvenim rečima, ti ne postojiš. QED.' QED: Quod erat demonstrandum - što je i trebalo dokazati. prim. prev.
“‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.	'Uh bre', kaže Bog, 'na to nisam ni pomislio' i smesta nestaje u oblačku logike.
“‘Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next pedestrian crossing.	'Ah, bilo je to lako', kaže čovek, a na bis ide da dokaže kako je crno belo i gine na obeleženom pešačkom prelazu.
“Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that didn’t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best-selling book, Well That about Wraps It Up for God.	Većina vodećih teologa smatra taj dokaz gomilom budalaština, ali to nije sprečilo Ulona Kolufida da se obogati kada ga je upotrebio kao središnju temu svoje popularne knjige , 'E sad smo konačno sredili Boga'.
“Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”	U međuvremenu, time što je delotvorno uklonila sve prepreke u komunikaciji između različitih rasa, sirota vavilonska ribica izazvala je više krvavih ratova nego sve ostalo u čitavoj istoriji."
Arthur let out a low groan. He was horrified to discover that the kick through hyperspace hadn’t killed him. He was now six light-years from the place that the Earth would have been if it still existed.	Artur zastenja. Otkriće da ga skok kroz hipersvemir nije ubio sasvim ga je prestravilo. Sada se nalazio na šest svetlosnih godina od mesta na kome bi se nalazila Zemlja da je još postojala.
The Earth.	Zemlja.

Visions of it swam sickeningly through his nauseated mind. There was no way his imagination could feel the impact of the whole Earth having gone, it was too big. He prodded his feelings by thinking that his parents and his sister had gone. No reaction. He thought of all the people he had been close to. No reaction. Then he thought of a complete stranger he had been standing behind in the queue at the supermarket two days before and felt a sudden stab—the supermarket was gone, everyone in it was gone. Nelson’s Column had gone! Nelson’s Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was no one left to make an outcry. From now on Nelson’s Column only existed in his mind. England only existed in his mind—his mind, stuck here in this dank smelly steel-lined spaceship. A wave of claustrophobia closed in on him.	Njena prikaza tužno mu je lebdela u bolnom umu. Njegova mašta ni na koji način nije uspevala da pojmi udarac koji mu je zadao nestanak čitave planete Zemlje; bio je prevelik. On podbode svoja osećanja mišlju da njegovih roditelja i sestre više nema. Bez ikakve reakcije. Pomislio je na sve ljude koji su mu bili bliski. Bez ikakve reakcije. Zatim je pomislio na potpunog stranca iza koga je stojao u redu u supermarketu pre dva dana i tada oseti iznenadan ubod - supermarket je nestao, sva roba iz njega nepovratno je nestala. Nelsonov spomenik je nestao! Nelsonov spomenik je nestao, a neće biti protesta, jer nije ostao niko ko bi mogao da protestuje. Od sada, Nelsonov spomenik postoji samo u njegovom umu. Engleska postoji samo u njegovom umu, zarobljenom u tom ledenom, smrdljivom, čeličnom, svemirskom brodu. Zahvati ga talas klaustrofobije.
England no longer existed. He’d got that—somehow he’d got it. He tried again. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn’t grasp it. He decided to start smaller again. New York has gone. No reaction. He’d never seriously believed it existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, has sunk for ever. Slight tremor there. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave him a nasty knock. McDonald’s, he thought. There is no longer any such thing as a McDonald’s hamburger.	Engleska više ne postoji. To je shvatao - nekako mu je pošlo za rukom da to shvati. Pokušao je ponovo. Amerika, pomisli, takođe je nestala. Nije mogao da shvati. Odluči se da pokuša s nečim manjim. Njujork je nestao. Bez ikakve reakcije. I inače nikada nije ozbiljno verovao da postoji. Dolar, pomisli, pao je zauvek. Lagan drhtaj. Svi Bogartovi filmovi zbrisani, reče on sebi i to mu zadade gadan udarac. Mekdonald, pomislio je. Više nema Mekdonaldovih hamburgera.
He passed out. When he came round a second later he found he was sobbing for his mother.	Onesvestio se. Kada je sekundu kasnije došao k sebi, otkrio je da jeca za svojom majkom.
He jerked himself violently to his feet.	Silovito je skočio na noge.
“Ford!”	"Forde!"
Ford looked up from where he was sitting in a corner humming to himself. He always found the actual traveling-through-space part of space travel rather trying.	Ford podiže pogled iz ugla u kome je sedeo i pevušio. Putovanja kroz svemir uvek je smatrao prilično zamornim.
“Yeah?” he said.	"Aha?" reče on.
“If you’re a researcher on this book thing and you were on Earth, you must have been gathering material on it.”	"Ako si istraživač povezan s tom knjigom, a boravio si na Zemlji, mora da si prikupljao materijal o njoj."
“Well, I was able to extend the original entry a bit, yes.”	"Pa jeste, došao sam u priliku da malo dopunim prvobitni tekst."
“Let me see what it says in this edition then, I’ve got to see it.”	"Daj mi da vidim šta ovo izdanje kaže o njoj; to moram da saznam."
“Yeah, okay.” He passed it over again.	"Aha, dobro." On mu ponovo dodade knjigu.
Arthur grabbed hold of it and tried to stop his hands shaking. He pressed the entry for the relevant page. The screen flashed and swirled and resolved into a page of print. Arthur stared at it.	Artur je zgrabi i pokuša da umiri prste koji su mu se tresli. On pritisnu dirke koje su odgovarale traženoj stranici. Ekran se osvetli, zažmirka i pretvori se u stranicu teksta. Artur je zurio u nju.
“It doesn’t have an entry!” he burst out.	"Ne postoji tekst!" prasnuo je.
Ford looked over his shoulder.	Ford pogleda preko ramena.
“Yes, it does,” he said, “down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just above Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6.”	"Postoji", rekao je, "tamo dole, u dnu ekrana, odmah ispod Ekscentrike Galumbite, kurve sa tri sise sa Erotikona 6."
Arthur followed Ford’s finger, and saw where it was pointing. For a moment it still didn’t register, then his mind nearly blew up.	Artur je pratio Fordov prst i video kuda pokazuje. Za trenutak i dalje nije shvatao, a onda eksplodira:
“What? Harmless? Is that all it’s got to say? Harmless! One word!”	"Šta? Bezopasni? To je sve što ima da kaže? Bezopasni? Jedna jedina reč!"
Ford shrugged.	Ford sleže ramenima.
“Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy, and only a limited amount of space in the book’s microprocessors,” he said, “and no one knew much about the Earth, of course.”	"Pa, u Galaksiji postoji sto milijardi zvezda, a prostor u mikroprocesorima knjige nije neograničen", rekao je. "Osim toga, razume se, niko nije mnogo znao o Zemlji."
“Well, for God’s sake, I hope you managed to rectify that a bit.”	"Pa, nadam se da si to bar malo ispravio, Boga mu."
“Oh yes, well, I managed to transmit a new entry off to the editor. He had to trim it a bit, but it’s still an improvement.”	"O, da, ovaj, uspeo sam da pošaljem uredniku novi tekst. Morao je malo da ga skrati, ali ipak je reč o poboljšanju."
“And what does it say now?” asked Arthur.	"A šta piše sada?" pitao je Artur.
“Mostly harmless,” admitted Ford with a slightly embarrassed cough.	"Uglavnom bezopasni", priznao je Ford uz pomalo zbunjeno kašljucanje.
“Mostly harmless!” shouted Arthur.	"Uglavnom bezopasni!" viknu Artur.
“What was that noise?” hissed Ford.	"Kakav je to bio zvuk?" prosikta Ford.
“It was me shouting,” shouted Arthur.	"To sam ja vikao", viknu Artur.
“No! Shut up!” said Ford. “I think we’re in trouble.”	"Ne! Umukni!" reče Ford. "Izgleda da smo u nevolji."
“You think we’re in trouble!”	"Ti misliš da smo u nevolji!"
Outside the door were the clear sounds of marching footsteps.	Pred vratima jasno se začuše zvuci odsečnih koraka.
“The Dentrassis?” whispered Arthur.	"Dentrasi?" prošapta Artur.

“No, those are steel-tipped boots,” said Ford.	"Ne, ovo su čizme potkovane čelikom", reče Ford.
There was a sharp ringing rap on the door.	Začu se oštar, metalni udarac po vratima.
“Then who is it?” said Arthur.	"Onda, ko je?" reče Artur.
“Well,” said Ford, “if we’re lucky it’s just the Vogons come to throw us in to space.”	"Pa", reče Ford, "ako imamo sreće, onda su to samo Vogoni koji su došli da nas izbace u svemir."
“And if we’re unlucky?”	"A ako nemamo?"
“If we’re unlucky,” said Ford grimly, “the captain might be serious in his threat that he’s going to read us some of his poetry first….”	"Ako nemamo sreće", reče mirno Ford, "onda je zapovednik možda bio ozbiljan u svojoj pretnji da će nam najpre čitati pesme..."

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