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| Chapter 5 | 5. |
| Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was not a pleasant sight, even for other Vogons. His highly domed nose rose high above a small piggy forehead. His dark green rubbery skin was thick enough for him to play the game of Vogon Civil Service politics, and play it well, and waterproof enough for him to survive indefinitely at sea depths of down to a thousand feet with no ill effects. | Proštetnik Vogon Jelc nije predstavljao lep prizor, čak ni za druge Vogone. Njegov iskrivljeni nos visoko se uzdizao iznad niskog, svinjskog čela. Tamnozelena, gumasta koža bila je toliko debela da mu je dozvolila da se uključi u vogonski politički život, i to da se uključi s uspehom, i bila je toliko nepropusna na vodu da je mogao da preživi neograničeno dugo na dubini od hiljadu stopa bez ikakvih neželjenih posledica. |
| Not that he ever went swimming of course. His busy schedule would not allow it. He was the way he was because billions of years ago when the Vogons had first crawled out of the sluggish primeval seas of Vogsphere, and had lain panting and heaving on the planet’s virgin shores … when the first rays of the bright young Vogsol sun had shone across them that morning, it was as if the forces of evolution had simply given up on them there and then, had turned aside in disgust and written them off as an ugly and unfortunate mistake. They never evolved again: they should never have survived. | To, razume se, ne znači da je ikada bio na kupanju. Bio je previše zauzet za takve stvari. Bio je takav kakav je, jer pre milijardu godina, kada su Vogoni prvi put ispuzali iz ustajalih prvobitnih okeana Vogsfere i dahćući i brekćući polegali po devičanskim obalama planete, kada su ih tog jutra obasjali prvi zraci blistavog, mladog Vogsunca, kao da su ih sile evolucije u istom trenutku napustile, s gađenjem okrenule glavu u stranu i otpisale kao ružnu i nesrećnu grešku. Posle toga više nisu evoluirali; uopšte nije trebalo da prežive. |
| The fact that they did is some kind of tribute to the thick-willed slug-brained stubbornness of these creatures. Evolution? they said to themselves, Who needs it?, and what nature refused to do for them they simply did without until such time as they were able to rectify the gross anatomical inconveniences with surgery. | Činjenica da im je to ipak pošlo za rukom predstavlja neku vrstu priznanja tvrdoglavoj, idiotskoj nedotupavosti tih stvorenja. Evolucija? rekoše oni, kome to treba? I jednostavno nastaviše da žive bez onoga što je priroda odbila da im pruži, sve dok nije došlo vreme kada su naučili da ispravljaju veće anatomske nepravilnosti hirurškim putem. |
| Meanwhile, the natural forces on the planet Vogsphere had been working overtime to make up for their earlier blunder. They brought forth scintillating jeweled scuttling crabs, which the Vogons ate, smashing their shells with iron mallets; tall aspiring trees of breathtaking slenderness and color which the Vogons cut down and burned the crabmeat with; elegant gazellelike creatures with silken coats and dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on. They were no use as transport because their backs would snap instantly, but the Vogons sat on them anyway. | U međuvremenu, prirodne sile planete Vogsfere radile su prekovremeno da bi ispravile svoju pređašnju glupost. Stvorile su blistave rakovice s oklopima od dragulja, a Vogoni su ih jeli pošto bi zdrobili njihove oklope pomoću gvozdenih čekića; stvorile su visoka, ponosita stabla zadivljujuće vitkosti, a Vogoni su ih sekli da bi na njima pekli meso rakovica; stvorile su elegantna stvorenja nalik na gazele, svilaste dlake i vlažnih očiju, a Vogoni su ih lovili da bi sedeli na njima. Uopšte nisu mogli da ih koriste za jahanje, jer su im se vratovi lomili u istom trenutku, ali su Vogoni svejedno sedeli na njima. |
| Thus the planet Vogsphere whiled away the unhappy millennia until the Vogons suddenly discovered the principles of interstellar travel. Within a few short Vog years every last Vogon had migrated to the Megabrantis cluster, the political hub of the Galaxy, and now formed the immensely powerful backbone of the Galactic Civil Service. They have attempted to acquire learning, they have attempted to acquire style and social graces, but in most respects the modern Vogon is little different from his primitive forebears. Every year they import twenty-seven thousand scintillating jeweled scuttling crabs from their native planet and while away a happy drunken night smashing them to bits with iron mallets. | I tako je planeta Vogsfera bitisala nesrećne milenijume, sve dok Vogoni nisu iznenada otkrili načela međuzvezdanog putovanja. Tokom svega nekoliko kratkih voggodina svi Vogoni preselili su se u zvezdano jato Megabranitis, političko središte Galaksije, i tamo obrazovali neizmerno moćan oslonac galaktičke upravne službe. Pokušali su da uče, pokušali su da steknu uglađenost i pristojno ponašanje, ali savremeni Vogoni uglavnom se neznatno razlikuju od svojih primitivnih predaka. Svake godine oni sa svoje rodne planete dovezu dvadeset sedam hiljada svetlucavih rakovica s oklopom od dragulja i provode srećnu, pijanu noć smrskavajući ih u paramparčad uz pomoć gvozdenih čekića. |
| Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was a fairly typical Vogon in that he was thoroughly vile. Also, he did not like hitchhikers. | Po svom ponašanju, Proštetnik Vogon Jelc bio je tipičan Vogon, što će reći stvarno ogavan. Osim toga, mrzeo je stopere. |
| Somewhere in a small dark cabin buried deep in the intestines of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz’s flagship, a small match flared nervously. The owner of the match was not a Vogon, but he knew all about them and was right to be nervous. His name was Ford Prefect.** Ford Prefect’s original name is only pronounceable in an obscure Betel-geusian dialect, now virtually extinct since the Great Collapsing Hrung Disaster of Gal./Sid./Year 03758 which wiped out all the old Praxibetel communities on Betelgeuse Seven. Ford’s father was the only man on the entire planet to survive the Great Collapsing Hrung Disaster, by an extraordinary coincidence that he was never able satisfactorily to explain. | Negde u malenoj, mračnoj kabini, duboko u unutrašnjosti komandnog broda Proštetnika Vogona Jelca, nervozno zatitra plamičak malenog palidrvca. Vlasnik palidrvca nije bio Vogon, ali znao je sve o njima i bio je s pravom nervozan. Ime mu je bilo Ford Prefekt. Pravo ime Forda Prefekta može se izgovoriti samo na opskurnom betelgezijskom narečju koje je gotovo u potpunosti nestalo posle katastrofe velikog kolapsirajućeg Hrunga Gal./Sid./godine 03758, u kojoj su sa Betelgeza Sedam zbrisane sve stare praksibetelske zajednice. Sa čitave planete jedino je Fordov otac preživeo katastrofu velikog kolapsirajućeg Hrunga, neobičnom igrom slučaja koju nikada nije uspeo da objasni na zadovoljavajući način. |
| The whole episode is shrouded in deep mystery: in fact no one ever knew what a Hrung was nor why it had chosen to collapse on Betelgeuse Seven particularly. Ford’s father, magnanimously waving aside the clouds of suspicion that had inevitably settled around him, came to live on Betelgeuse Five, where he both fathered and uncled Ford; in memory of his now dead race he christened him in the ancient Praxibetel tongue. Because Ford never learned to say his original name, his father eventually died of shame, which is still a terminal disease in some parts of the Galaxy. The other kids at school nicknamed him Ix, which in the language of Betelgeuse Five translates as “boy who is not able satisfactorily to explain what a Hrung is, nor why it should choose to collapse on Betelgeuse Seven.” | Čitava epizoda obavijena je dubokom tajanstvenošću: niko, zapravo, ne zna šta je bio Hrung, a ni zbog čega je izabrao da kolapsira baš na Betelgezu Sedam. Fordov otac, koji se iz sve snage trudio da odagna oblake sumnje koji su ga neminovno okružili, prešao je na Betelgez Pet, gde je istovremeno bio otac i ujak Fordu; u spomen na svoju sada izumrlu rasu krstio ga je na starinskom praksibetelskom jeziku. Zbog toga što Ford nikada nije naučio da izgovara svoje pravo ime, otac mu je na kraju umro od srama, što je u nekim oblastima Galaksije i dalje najsmrtonosnija bolest. Ostala deca u školi nadenula su mu ime Iiks, što se na jeziku Betelgeza Pet prevodi kao 'dečko koji nije umeo valjano da objasni šta je bio Hrung i zbog čega je kolapsirao baš na Betelgezu Sedam'. |
| He looked about the cabin but could see very little; strange monstrous shadows loomed and leaped with the tiny flickering flame, but all was quiet. He breathed a silent thank you to the Dentrassis. The Dentrassis are an unruly tribe of gourmands, a wild but pleasant bunch whom the Vogons had recently taken to employing as catering staff on their long-haul fleets, on the strict understanding that they keep themselves very much to themselves. | On se obazre po kabini, no moglo se videti vrlo malo; tuđinske, čudovišne senke iskrsavale su i poigravale u majušnom, titravom plamenu, ali sve je bilo mirno. On uzdahnu nemu zahvalnicu Dentransima. Dentrasi su pleme gurmana koji se ne pokoravaju nikakvim pravilima, divlja, ali prijatna družina koju su Vogoni u poslednje vreme upošljavali kao poslugu na svojim dugim transportnim putovanjima, pod strogim sporazumom da se jedni s drugima neće mešati. |
| This suited the Dentrassis fine, because they loved Vogon money, which is one of the hardest currencies in space, but loathed the Vogons themselves. The only sort of Vogon a Dentrassi liked to see was an annoyed Vogon. | Ovo je baš odgovaralo Dentrasima, jer oni su voleli vogonske pare, koje predstavljaju jednu od najtvrđih valuta u svemiru, ali su se gadili samih Vogona. Za Dentrase, jedini dobar Vogon je do ludila iznervirani Vogon. |
| It was because of this tiny piece of information that Ford Prefect was not now a whiff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide. | Zahvaljujući toj malenoj informaciji Ford u ovom trenutku nije predstavljao dašak vodonika, ozona i ugljen-monoksida. |
| He heard a slight groan. By the light of the match he saw a heavy shape moving slightly on the floor. Quickly he shook the match out, reached in his pocket, found what he was looking for and took it out. He ripped it open and shook it. He crouched on the floor. The shape moved again. | On začu tiho stenjanje. U svetlosti palidrvca mogao je da vidi kako se na podu lagano pomera neki neodređeni oblik. Brzo je protresao palidrvce i ugasio ga, zavukao ruku u džep, napipao i izvadio ono što je tražio. Rascepio ga je, otvorio i protresao. Čučnuo je na pod. Oblik se ponovo pokrenuo. |
| Ford Prefect said, “I bought some peanuts.” | Ford Prefekt reče: "Kupio sam kikiriki." |
| Arthur Dent moved, and groaned again, muttering incoherently. | Artur Dent se pokrenu i ponovo zastenja, nepovezano mrmljajući. |
| “Here, have some,” urged Ford, shaking the packet again, “if you’ve never been through a matter transference beam before you’ve probably lost some salt and protein. The beer you had should have cushioned your system a bit.” | "Evo, uzmi", nudio ga je Ford i ponovo protresao kesicu, "ukoliko nikada ranije nisi bio u zraku za prenos materije, verovatno si izgubio nešto soli i proteina. Pivo koje si popio trebalo bi da te je delom zaštitilo. |
| “Whhhrrr …” said Arthur Dent. He opened his eyes. “It’s dark,” he said. | "Vrrrr..." reče Artur Dent. Otvorio je oči. "Mračno je", reče on. |
| “Yes,” said Ford Prefect, “it’s dark.” | "Jeste", reče Ford, "mračno je." |
| “No light,” said Arthur Dent. “Dark, no light.” | "Nema svetla", reče Artur Dent. "Tako je mračno, nema ni zračka svetla." |
| One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried abut the terrible number of things they didn’t know about. | Jedna od stvari koje Ford Prefekt nikada nije uspeo da shvati kod ljudi bila je navika da neprekidno govore i ponavljaju vrlo, vrlo očigledne stvari, kao što su: Baš lep dan danas, ili: Jao što si visok, ili: O Bože, pala si niz bunar dubok trideset metara, jesi li se povredila? Ford je stvorio teoriju da objasni to neobično ponašanje. Kada ljudska bića ne bi neprekidno pomerala usne, bio je ubeđen, usta bi im verovatno srasla. Posle nekoliko meseci posmatranja i razmišljanja napustio je tu teoriju u korist druge. Ukoliko ne pokreću neprekidno svoje usne, pomislio je, mozak počinje da im radi. Posle izvesnog vremena napustio je i tu teoriju kao previše ciničnu i došao do zaključka da mu se ljudska bića i pored svega veoma sviđaju, ali bio je zabrinut zato što o tolikim stvarima pojma nisu imala. |
| “Yes,” he agreed with Arthur, “no light.” He helped Arthur to some peanuts. “How do you feel?” he asked him. | "Da", složio se s Arturom, "nema svetla." Pomogao je Arturu da uzme malo kikirikija. "Kako se osećaš?" upitao ga je. |
| “Like a military academy,” said Arthur, “bits of me keep on passing out.” | "Poput vojne akademije", reče Artur. "Kao da neprekidno marširaju preko mene." |
| Ford stared at him blankly in the darkness. | Ford ga je prazno gledao u tami. |
| “If I asked you where the hell we were,” said Arthur weakly, “would I regret it?” | "Kada bih te upitao gde se, kog đavola, nalazimo", reče Artur, "da li bih zažalio?" |
| Ford stood up. “We’re safe,” he said. | Ford ustade. "Na sigurnom", rekao je. |
| “Oh good,” said Arthur. | "Uh, dobro je", reče Artur. |
| “We’re in a small galley cabin,” said Ford, “in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.” | "Trenutno smo u maloj brodskoj kuhinji", reče Ford, "na jednom od svemirskih brodova vogonske konstruktorske flote." |
| “Ah,” said Arthur, “this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.” | "Ah", reče Artur, "to je očigledno neka veoma čudna upotreba reči 'siguran', za koju ja još nisam čuo." |
| Ford struck another match to help him search for a light switch. Monstrous shadows leaped and loomed again. Arthur struggled to his feet and hugged himself apprehensively. Hideous alien shapes seemed to throng about him, the air was thick with musty smells which sidled into his lungs without identifying themselves, and a low irritating hum kept his brain from focusing. | Ford upali još jedno palidrvce da bi lakše pronašao prekidač za svetlo. Čudovišne senke ponovo iskrsnuše i razigraše se. Artur skoči na noge i uplašeno se pribi uz Forda. Činilo se da se užasni, tuđinski oblici tiskaju oko njega, vazduh je bio ispunjen ustajalim mirisima koji su mu, neprepoznati, ulazili u pluća, a duboko, neprijatno brujanje sprečavalo ga je da se sabere. |
| “How did we get here?” he asked, shivering slightly. | "Kako smo dospeli ovamo?" reče on, lagano drhteći. |
| “We hitched a lift,” said Ford. | "Autostopom", reče Ford. |
| “Excuse me?” said Arthur. “Are you trying to tell me that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said, ‘Hi fellas, hop right in, I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout?’” | "Molim?" reče Artur. "Hoćeš da kažeš da smo samo podigli palčeve, a neko zeleno, buljooko čudovište promolilo je glavu i reklo: Ćao, drugari, mogu li da vas odbacim do bejzingstonske okretnice?" |
| “Well,” said Ford, “the Thumb’s an electronic sub-etha signaling device, the roundabout’s at Barnard’s Star six light-years away, but otherwise, that’s more or less right.” | "Pa", reča Ford, "palac je, u stvari, elektronski sub-eta signalni uređaj, okretnica je na Barnardovoj zvezdi, ali ostalo je manje-više tako." |
| “And the bug-eyed monster?” | "A buljooko čudovište?" |
| “Is green, yes.” | "U stvari je zeleno." |
| “Fine,” said Arthur, “when can I go home?” | "Divno", reče Artur. "A kada mogu kući?" |
| “You can’t,” said Ford Prefect, and found the light switch. | "Nikad", rekao je Ford i napipao prekidač za svetlo. |
| “Shade your eyes …” he said, and turned it on. | "Zakloni oči", rekao je i uključio ga. |
| “Good grief,” said Arthur, “is this really the interior of a flying saucer?” | "Bogo moj", odvrati Artur, "zar je ovo unutrašnjost letećeg tanjira?" |
| Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz heaved his unpleasant green body round the control bridge. He always felt vaguely irritable after demolishing populated planets. He wished that someone would come and tell him that it was all wrong so that he could shout at them and feel better. He flopped as heavily as he could onto his control seat in the hope that it would break and give him something to be genuinely angry about, but it only gave a complaining sort of creak. | Proštetnik Vogon Jelc pomeri svoje odvratno, zeleno telo koje se nalazilo nasred kontrolnog mosta. Uvek je bio pomalo nervozan posle uništavanja naseljenih planeta. Želeo je da se neko pojavi i kaže mu kako je to potpuno pogrešno da bi mogao da se izdere i da mu posle bude bolje. Sručio se na kontrolno sedište što je mogao teže, u nadi da će se polomiti i pružiti mu razlog da se pošteno iznervira, ali ono samo žalostivo zaškripa. |
| “Go away!” he shouted at a young Vogon guard who entered the bridge at that moment. The guard vanished immediately, feeling rather relieved. He was glad it wouldn’t now be him who delivered the report they’d just received. The report was an official release which said that a wonderful new form of spaceship drive was at this moment being unveiled at a Government research base on Damogran which would henceforth make all hyperspatial express routes unnecessary. | "Gubi se!" dreknuo je na mladog vogonskog stražara koji se u tom trenutku pojavio na mostu. Stražar smesta nestade, ispunjen olakšanjem. Bilo mu je drago što neće morati da mu saopšti izveštaj koji su upravo primili. Reč je bila o službenom obaveštenju koje je govorilo da je u vladinom istraživačkom središtu na Damogranu otkriven revolucionarno novi oblik pogona za svemirske brodove, što će sve hipersvemirske ekspresne puteve učiniti nepotrebnim. |
| Another door slid open, but this time the Vogon captain didn’t shout because it was the door from the galley quarters where the Dentrassis prepared his meals. A meal would be most welcome. | Otvoriše se još jedna vrata, ali vogonski zapovednik ovog puta nije dreknuo, jer bila su to vrata od kuhinje u kojoj su mu Dentrasi pripremali obroke. Hrana je uvek dobro došla. |
| A huge furry creature bounded through the door with his lunch tray. It was grinning like a maniac. | Krupno stvorenje prekriveno krznom pojavilo se na vratima s poslužavnikom u rukama. Kliberilo se kao ludak. |
| Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was delighted. He knew that when a Dentrassi looked that pleased with itself there was something going on somewhere on the ship that he could get very angry indeed about. | Proštetniku Vogu Jelcu bilo je milo. Kada jedan Dentrasi izgleda tako zadovoljan sobom, negde na brodu odigrava se nešto zbog čega će moći dobro da se razbesni. |
| Ford and Arthur stared around them. | Ford i Artur zverali su oko sebe. |
| “Well, what do you think?” said Ford. | "Pa, šta misliš?" reče Ford. |
| “It’s a bit squalid, isn’t it?” | "Malo zapušteno, zar ne?" |
| Ford frowned at the grubby mattresses, unwashed cups and unidentifiable bits of smelly alien underwear that lay around the cramped cabin. | Ford je namrgođeno gledao prljave ležajeve, neoprano posuđe i nerazaznatljive delove smrdljivog vanzemaljskog donjeg veša razbacane po malenoj kabini. |
| “Well, this is a working ship, you see,” said Ford. “These are the Dentrassis’ sleeping quarters.” | "Znaš, na ovom brodu se radi", rekao je Ford. "Ovo su spavaonice Dentrasija." |
| “I thought you said they were called Vogons or something.” | "Učinilo mi se da si rekao kako se zovu Vogoni ili tako nekako." |
| “Yes,” said Ford, “the Vogons run the ship, the Dentrassis are the cooks; they let us on board.” | "Da", reče Ford, "Vogoni vode brod, a Dentrasi su kuvari i oni su nas pustili unutra." |
| “I’m confused,” said Arthur. | "Zbunjen sam", reče Artur. |
| “Here, have a look at this,” said Ford. He sat down on one of the mattresses and rummaged about in his satchel. Arthur prodded the mattress nervously and then sat on it himself: in fact he had very little to be nervous about, because all mattresses grown in the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta are very thoroughly killed and dried before being put to service. Very few have ever come to life again. | "Evo, vidi", reče Ford. Seo je na jedan od ležajeva i počeo da kopa po svojoj torbici. Artur nervozno oproba ležaj prstima i potom sede: u stvari, nije imao toliko razloga za nervozu, jer svi ležajevi odgajeni na Skornšelusu Zeta pažljivo se ubijaju i suše pre upotrebe. Vrlo retko se dešava da ponovo ožive. |
| Ford handed the book to Arthur. | Ford dodade knjigu Arturu. |
| “What is it?” asked Arthur. | "Šta je to?" pitao je Artur. |
| “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It’s a sort of electronic book. It tells you everything you need to know about anything. That’s its job.” | "Autostoperski vodič kroz Galaksiju. Neka vrsta elektronske knjige. Daje informacije o svemu što ti je potrebno da znaš. Za to je namenjena." |
| Arthur turned it over nervously in his hands. | Artur je nervozno pomeri u rukama. |
| “I like the cover,” he said. “‘Don’t Panic.’ It’s the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody’s said to me all day.” | "Dopada mi se futrola", rekao je. "Bez panike. To je prva pametna i korisna stvar koju sam danas čuo." |
| “I’ll show you how it works,” said Ford. He snatched it from Arthur, who was still holding it as if it were a two-week-dead lark, and pulled it out of its cover. | "Da ti pokažem kako radi", reče Ford. Uzeo ju je od Artura koji ju je držao poput ševe crknute već dve nedelje i izvukao iz futrole. |
| “You press this button here, you see, and the screen lights up, giving you the index.” | "Treba da pritisneš ovo dugme ovde, vidiš, i ekran će se osvetliti da ti pokaže sadržaj." |
| A screen, about three inches by four, lit up and characters began to flicker across the surface. | Ekran, veliki približno tri sa četiri inča, najednom se obasja i po njegovoj površini zetreptaše znakovi. |
| “You want to know about Vogons, so I entered that name so.” His fingers tapped some more keys. “And there we are.” | "Želeo si da saznaš nešto o Vogonima, zato ću da unesem to ime onako kako si ga izgovorio." Prsti mu dodirnuše još nekoliko dugmadi. "Evo." |
| The words Vogon Constructor Fleets flared in green across the screen. | Preko ekrana zablista natpis Vogonska konstruktorska flota. |
| Ford pressed a large red button at the bottom of the screen and words began to undulate across it. At the same time, the book began to speak the entry as well in a still, quiet, measured voice. This is what the book said: | Ford pritisnu veliko, crveno dugme koje se nalazilo u dnu ekrana i reči potekoše preko njega. Istovremeno, knjiga poče da govori, tihim odmerenim glasom. Evo šta je knjiga rekla: |
| “Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy—not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. | "Vogonska konstruktorska flota. Evo šta da učinite ukoliko želite da stopirate Vogona: odustanite od toga. Oni su jedna od najneprijatnijih rasa u Galaksiji - nisu, zapravo, toliko zli, koliko su uvek loše i birokratski raspoloženi, nadmeni i neosetljivi. Prstom ne bi mrdnuli da spasu rođenu babu od proždrljivih, buljoustih zveri sa Traala ukoliko ne bi dobili potpisani nalog u tri primerka, zaveden u delovodnik, vraćen donosiocu, komisijski pregledan, zaturen, pronađen, izložen javnoj raspravi, ponovo zaturen i najzad na tri meseca zakopan u tresetište da bi odatle izašao u obliku ogrevnog materijala. |
| “The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. | Najbolji način da dobijete piće od Vogona jeste da mu gurnete prst u grlo, a najbolji način da ga iznervirate jeste da gurnete njegovu babu među proždrljive buljouste zveri sa Traala. |
| “On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.” | Ni u kom slučaju nemojte dozvoliti da vam Vogon čita poeziju." |
| Arthur blinked at it. | Artur zatrepta. |
| “What a strange book. How did we get a lift then?” | "Kakva čudna knjiga. Pa, ko nas je onda povezao?" |
| “That’s the point, it’s out of date now,” said Ford, sliding the book back into its cover. “I’m doing the field research for the new revised edition, and one of the things I’ll have to do is include a bit about how the Vogons now employ Dentrassi cooks, which gives us a rather useful little loophole.” | "U tome i jeste stvar, podaci su malo zastareli", reče Ford i vrati knjigu u futrolu. "Ja se bavim terenskim istraživanjem za novo, dopunjeno izdanje, a između ostalog treba da dodam materijal o tome kako Vogoni sada upošljavaju Dentrasije kao kuvare, što nam pruža dosta prostora za manevrisanje." |
| A pained expression crossed Arthur’s face. “But who are the Dentrassis?” he said. | Bolan izraz prošao je Arturovim licem "Ali ko su Dentrasi?" upitao je. |
| “Great guys,” said Ford. “They’re the best cooks and the best drink mixers and they don’t give a wet slap about anything else. And they’ll always help hitchhikers aboard, partly because they like the company, but mostly because it annoys the Vogons. Which is exactly the sort of thing you need to know if you’re an impoverished hitchhiker trying to see the marvels of the Universe for less than thirty Altairian dollars a day. And that’s my job. Fun, isn’t it?” | "Sjajni momci", reče Ford. "Najbolje kuvaju i najbolje prave pića, a za sve ostalo baš ih je briga. Uvek pomažu stoperima da dođu na brod, delom zato što vole društvo, ali uglavnom zato što to nervira Vogone. Baš takve stvari treba da znaš ukoliko si siromašan stoper koji bi da vidi čudesa Vaseljene za manje od trideset altairskih dolara dnevno. A ja se time bavim. Zgodno, zar ne?" |
| Arthur looked lost. | Artur je delovao izgubljeno. |
| “It’s amazing,” he said, and frowned at one of the other mattresses. | "Neverovatno", rekao je i namrštio se na jedan od okolnih ležajeva. |
| “Unfortunately I got stuck on the Earth for rather longer than I intended,” said Ford. “I came for a week and got stuck for fifteen years.” | "Na nesreću, zaglavio sam se na Zemlji nešto duže nego što sam nameravao", reče Ford. "Došao sam na nedelju dana, a ostao petnaest godina." |
| “But how did you get there in the first place then?” | "Ali kako si uopšte došao tamo?" |
| “Easy, I got a lift with a teaser.” | "Jednostavno. Dovezao me jedan draškar." |
| “A teaser?” | "Draškar?" |
| “Yeah.” | "Aha." |
| “Er, what is …” | "Ovaj, a šta je to..." |
| “A teaser? Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets that haven’t made interstellar contact yet and buzz them.” | "Draškar? To su ti obično bogati klinci koji ne znaju šta bi sa sobom. Muvaju se u potrazi za planetama koje još nisu uspostavile međuzvezdani kontakt, pa im zuje." |
| “Buzz them?” Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life difficult for him. | "Zuje?" Arturu se učini da Ford uživa da mu zagorčava život. |
| “Yeah,” said Ford, “they buzz them. They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one’s ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises. Rather childish really.” Ford leaned back on the mattress with his hands behind his head and looked infuriatingly pleased with himself. | "Aha", reče Ford, "zuje. Nađu neko zabačeno mesto na kome živi malo ljudi, slete pred neku sirotu dušu koja ništa ne sumnja i kojoj posle niko neće verovati u ono što bude ispričala, pa onda skaču ispred nje sa šaškastim antenama na glavi i viču bip-bip. Stvarno detinjasto." Ford se bacio na ležaj s rukama ispod glave, a izraz mu je bio neverovatno samozadovoljan. |
| “Ford,” insisted Arthur, “I don’t know if this sounds like a silly question, but what am I doing here?” | "Forde", bio je uporan Artur, "ne znam da li to zvuči kao luckasto pitanje, ali šta ću ja ovde?" |
| “Well, you know that,” said Ford. “I rescued you from the Earth.” | "Pa, to znaš", rekao je Ford. "Spasao sam te sa Zemlje." |
| “And what’s happened to the Earth?” | "A šta je bilo sa Zemljom?" |
| “Ah. It’s been demolished.” | "Ah. Uništena je." |
| “Has it,” said Arthur levelly. | "Je li", reče Artur ravnim glasom. |
| “Yes. It just boiled away into space.” | "Jeste. Isparila je i nestala." |
| “Look,” said Arthur, “I’m a bit upset about that.” | "Čuj", reče Artur, "to me pomalo uznemirava." |
| Ford frowned to himself and seemed to roll the thought around his mind. | Ford se namršti za svoj račun i činilo se da prebire po mislima. |
| “Yes, I can understand that,” he said at last. | "Da, to mogu da shvatim", rekao je najzad. |
| “Understand that!” shouted Arthur. “Understand that!” | "Da shvatiš!" zaurla Artur. "Da shvatiš!" |
| Ford sprang up. | Ford skoči sa ležaja. |
| “Keep looking at the book!” he hissed urgently. | "Gledaj knjigu!" prosikta on žustro. |
| “What?” | "Šta?" |
| “Don’t Panic.” | "Bez panike." |
| “I’m not panicking!” | "Ne paničim!" |
| “Yes, you are.” | "O da, radiš tačno to." |
| “All right, so I’m panicking, what else is there to do?” | "Dobro, paničim. Šta bih drugo?" |
| “You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy’s a fun place. You’ll need to have this fish in your ear.” | "Pođi sa mnom u provod. Galaksija je zabavno mesto. Ali prvo moraš da gurneš ovu ribicu u uvo." |
| “I beg your pardon?” asked Arthur, rather politely he thought. | "Molim", reče Artur, suzdržavajući se, ili je bar tako mislio. |
| Ford was holding up a small glass jar which quite clearly had a small yellow fish wriggling around in it. Arthur blinked at him. He wished there was something simple and recognizable he could grasp hold of. He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis’ underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn’t, and he didn’t feel safe. | Ford podiže staklenu bočicu po kojoj se koprcala malena, žuta riba. Artur zatrepta. On požele da vidi nešto jednostavno i poznato, nešto što bi mogao da obuhvati mislima. I pored donjeg veša Dentrasija, hrpe skornšelskih ležajeva i čoveka sa Betelgeza koji mu je nudio da gurne u uvo žutu ribicu osetio bi se bezbedno samo da je mogao da vidi makar i najobičniju kesu kokica. Ali nije mogao i zato se nije osećao bezbedno. |
| Suddenly a violent noise leaped at them from no source that he could identify. He gasped in terror at what sounded like a man trying to gargle while fighting off a pack of wolves. | Iznenada, oko njih se zaori silovit zvuk bez ikakvog vidljivog izvora. Dent jeknu prestravljeno pred onim što je zvučalo kao čovek koji pokušava da grgoće dok se bori protiv čopora vukova. |
| “Shush!” said Ford. “Listen, it might be important.” | "Pst", reče Ford. "Slušaj, možda je važno." |
| “Im … important?” | "Va.. važno?" |
| “It’s the Vogon captain making an announcement on the tannoy.” | "To vogonski zapovednik govori preko razglasa." |
| “You mean that’s how the Vogons talk?” | "Hoćeš da kažeš da Vogoni ovako govore?" |
| “Listen!” | "Slušaj!" |
| “But I can’t speak Vogon!” | "Ali ja ne razumem vogonski!" |
| “You don’t need to. Just put this fish in your ear.” | "I ne moraš. Samo gurni ribicu u uvo." |
| Ford, with a lightning movement, clapped his hand to Arthur’s ear, and he had the sudden sickening sensation of the fish slithering deep into his aural tract. Gasping with horror he scrabbled at his ear for a second or so, but then slowly turned goggle-eyed with wonder. He was experiencing the aural equivalent of looking at a picture of two black silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a picture of a white candlestick. Or of looking at a lot of colored dots on a piece of paper which suddenly resolve themselves into the figure six and mean that your optician is going to charge you a lot of money for a new pair of glasses. | Munjevitim pokretom šake Ford lupi Artura po uhu, a ovaj je iznenada imao mučan osećaj da mu ribica klizi duboko u unutrašnjost glave. Ječeći od užasa, sekundu ili dve pokušavao je da kopa po uvu, a onda se lagano okrenuo, očiju okruglih od zaprepašćenja. Iskusio je slavni ekvivalent posmatranja slike sa dva crna obrisa lica gledanog iz profila, koje se iznenada pretvara u prikaz belog svećnjaka. Ili gledanja u hrpu obojenih tačaka na parčetu hartije koje se iznenada razdvajaju u broj šest, što znači da će vam optičar naplatiti debele pare za nove naočari. |
| He was still listening to the howling gargles, he knew that, only now it had somehow taken on the semblance of perfectly straightforward English. | Još je slušao urlanje i krkljanje, znao je to, samo što ga je ono sada podsećalo na savršeno normalan engleski jezik. |
| This is what he heard … | Evo šta je čuo... |