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| Chapter 25 | 25. |
| There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches? | Razume se, postoje mnogi problemi vezani za život, od kojih su najpoznatiji: zašto se ljudi rađaju? Zašto umiru? Zašto u međuvremenu toliko vole da nose svoje digitalne časovnike? |
| Many many millions of years ago a race of hyperintelligent pandimensional beings (whose physical manifestation in their own pandimensional universe is not dissimilar to our own) got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life which used to interrupt their favorite pastime of Brockian Ultra Cricket (a curious game which involved suddenly hitting people for no readily apparent reason and then running away) that they decided to sit down and solve their problems once and for all. | Pre mnogo, mnogo miliona godina jednoj rasi hiperinteligentnih pandimenzionih bića (čija fizička pojava u njihovoj pandimenzionoj Vaseljeni nije bez sličnosti s našom) toliko je dozlogrdilo neprestano raspravljanje o smislu života, koje im je ometalo omiljenu rekreaciju, brokijanski ultrakriket (neobičnu igru koja se sastoji od iznenadnog udaranja ljudi bez ikakvog jasnog razloga i bežanja posle toga), da su rešili da zasednu i reše taj problem jednom zauvek. |
| And to this end they built themselves a stupendous super computer which was so amazingly intelligent that even before its data banks had been connected up it had started from I think therefore I am and got as far as deducing the existence of rice pudding and income tax before anyone managed to turn it off. | Zbog toga su sagradili džinovski superkompjuter, koji je bio toliko inteligentan da je, čak i pre nego što su mu spojili memorije, otpočeo sa mislim, dakle postojim i stigao do zaključka o postojanju sutlijaša i poreza na prihod pre nego što je iko uspeo da ga uključi. |
| It was the size of a small city. | Bio je veliki poput omanjeg grada. |
| Its main console was installed in a specially designed executive office, mounted on an enormous executive desk of finest ultramahogany topped with rich ultrared leather. The dark carpeting was discreetly sumptuous, exotic pot plants and tastefully engraved prints of the principal computer programmers and their families were deployed liberally about the room, and stately windows looked out upon a tree-lined public square. | Glavna konzola bila je postavljena u naročito podignutom uredu, posred ogromnog uredskog stola od najfinijeg ultramahagonija presvučenog skupocenom ultracrvenom kožom. Tamni tepih bio je neupadljivo raskošan, po prostoriji su bile izdašno postavljene saksije s egzotičnim cvećem i ukusno izgravirana imena glavnih programera i njihovih porodica, a veličanstveni prozori gledali su na trg oivičen drvoredima. |
| On the day of the Great On-Turning two soberly dressed programmers with briefcases arrived and were shown discreetly into the office. They were aware that this day they would represent their entire race in its greatest moment, but they conducted themselves calmly and quietly as they seated themselves deferentially before the desk, opened their briefcases and took out their leather-bound notebooks. | Na dan velikog uključenja stigla su dva ozbiljno odevena programera s poslovnim torbama, pa su diskretno uvedena u ured. Bili su svesni da će tog dana biti predstavnici čitave svoje rase u njenom najveličanstvenijem trenutku, ali poneli su se pribrano i dostojanstveno kada su uglađeni seli za sto, otvorili poslovne torbe i izvadili beležnice uvezane u kožu. |
| Their names were Lunkwill and Fook. | Imena su im bila Lankvil i Fuk. |
| For a few moments they sat in respectful silence, then, after exchanging a quiet glance with Fook, Lunkwill leaned forward and touched a small black panel. | Nekoliko trenutaka sedeli su u dostojanstvenoj tišini, a potom, pošto je tiho izmenjao pogled s Fukom, Lankvil se naže i dodirnu jednu malenu, crnu ploču. |
| The subtlest of hums indicated that the massive computer was now in total active mode. After a pause it spoke to them in a voice rich, resonant and deep. | Najtiše zujanje pokazalo je da je džinovski kompjuter sada u stanju pune aktivnosti. Posle kratke stanke progovorio je glasom bogatim, rezonantnim i dubokim. |
| It said: “What is this great task for which I, Deep Thought, the second greatest computer in the Universe of Time and Space, have been called into existence?” | Rekao je: "Kakav je to veliki zadatak radi koga sam stvoren ja, Duboka Misao, drugi najveći kompjuter u čitavoj Vaseljeni vremena i prostora?" |
| Lunkwill and Fook glanced at each other in surprise. | Lankvil i Fuk iznenađeno se zagledaše. |
| “Your task, O computer …” began Fook. | "Tvoj zadatak, o kompjuteru..." poče Fuk. |
| “No, wait a minute, this isn’t right,” said Lunkwill, worried. “We distinctly designed this computer to be the greatest one ever and we’re not making do with second best. Deep Thought,” he addressed the computer, “are you not as we designed you to be, the greatest, most powerful computer in all time?” | "Ne, stani malo, ne valja tako", reče Lankvil zabrinuto. "Načinili smo ovaj kompjuter tako da bude najveći koji je ikada napravljen i ne želimo da radimo s donajboljim. Duboka Misli", obratio se on kompjuteru, "nisi li ovakav, kakvog smo te načinili, najveći i najmoćniji kompjuter svih vremena?" |
| “I described myself as the second greatest,” intoned Deep Thought, “and such I am.” | "Opisujem sebe kao drugog po veličini", reče kompjuter, "i takav jesam." |
| Another worried look passed between the two programmers. Lunkwill cleared his throat. | Dva programera ponovo izmenjaše zabrinute poglede. Lankvil pročisti grlo. |
| “There must be some mistake,” he said, “are you not a greater computer than the Milliard Gargantubrain at Maximegalon which can count all the atoms in a star in a millisecond?” | "Mora da je posredi neka greška", rekao je, "nisi li ti veći kompjuter od Gargantumozga Milijardnog sa Maksimegalona, koji je u stanju da za milisekundu prebroji sve atome unutar jedne zvezde?" |
| “The Milliard Gargantubrain?” said Deep Thought with unconcealed contempt. “A mere abacus—mention it not.” | "Gargantumozak Milijardni?" reče Duboka Misao s neskrivenim prezirom. "Najobičnija računaljka za decu - nemojte ga ni pominjati." |
| “And are you not,” said Fook, leaning anxiously forward, “a greater analyst than the Googleplex Star Thinker in the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity which can calculate the trajectory of every single dust particle throughout a five-week Dangrabad Beta sand blizzard?” | "I nisi li", reče Fuk, zabrinuto se nagnuvši, "veći analitičar od Guglpleksnog Zvezdanog Mislioca iz Sedme Galaksije Svetlosti i Mudrosti, koji je u stanju da proračuna putanju svake pojedinačne čestice peska tokom petonedeljne peščane oluje na Dangrabadu Beti?" |
| “A five-week sand blizzard?” said Deep Thought haughtily. “You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff.” | "Petonedeljna peščana oluja?" reče Duboka Misao oholo. "Pitate mene, koji sam opisao vektore svih atoma u samom Velikom Prasku? Nemojte me uznemiravati tim tričarijama za džepne kalkulatore." |
| The two programmers sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then Lunkwill leaned forward again. | Dvojica programera sedela su jedan trenutak u neugodnoj tišini. Onda se Lankvil ponovo naže. |
| “But are you not,” he said, “a more fiendish disputant than the Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler of Ciceronicus Twelve, the Magic and Indefatigable?” | "Ali nisi li ti", rekao je, "neugodniji sabesednik od velikog Hipermoždanog Omnispretnog Neutronskog Svađalicatrona sa Ciceronikusa 12, Magičnog i Bezobzirnog?" |
| “The Great Hyperlobic Omni-Cognate Neutron Wrangler,” said Deep Thought, thoroughly rolling the r’s, “could talk all four legs off an Arcturan Mega-Donkey—but only I could persuade it to go for a walk afterward.” | "Hipermoždani Omnispretni Neutronski Svađalicatron", reče Duboka Misao savršeno kotrljajući svako 'r', "mogao bi da sredi rečima sve četiri noge arkturijanskog Megamagarca - ali jedino bih ja umeo da ga ubedim da posle toga prohoda." |
| “Then what,” asked Fook, “is the problem?” | "Onda", upita Fuk, "u čemu je problem?" |
| “There is no problem,” said Deep Thought with magnificent ringing tones. “I am simply the second greatest computer in the Universe of Space and Time.” | "Nema problema", reče Duboka Misao glasom koji je veličanstveno odzvanjao. "Ja sam jednostavno drugi po veličini kompjuter u čitavoj Vaseljeni vremena i prostora." |
| “But the second?” insisted Lunkwill. “Why do you keep saying the second? You’re surely not thinking of the Multicorticoid Perspicutron Titan Muller, are you? Or the Pondermatic? Or the …” | "Ali drugi?" bio je uporan Lankvil. "Zašto stalno govoriš drugi? Sigurno ne misliš na Multikortikoidnog Perspikutronskog Titanomislioca, zar ne? Ili na Razrešomatika? Ili..." |
| Contemptuous lights flashed across the computer’s console. | Prezriv blesak sinu preko kompjuterske konzole. |
| “I spare not a single unit of thought on these cybernetic simpletons!” he boomed. “I speak of none but the computer that is to come after me!” | "Ne delim ni jednu jedinu misao s tim kibernetskim debilima!" zatutnjao je. "Ne govorim ni o kome drugome do o kompjuteru koji će doći posle mene!" |
| Fook was losing patience. He pushed his notebook aside and muttered, “I think this is getting needlessly messianic.” | Fuk je počeo da gubi strpljenje. Odgurnuo je svoju beležnicu i promrmljao: "Izgleda da bez ikakve potrebe počinje da se ponaša mesijanski." |
| “You know nothing of future time,” pronounced Deep Thought, “and yet in my teeming circuitry I can navigate the infinite delta streams of future probability and see that there must one day come a computer whose merest operational parameters I am not worthy to calculate, but which it will be my fate eventually to design.” | "Ništa vi ne znate o vremenu budućem", izjavi Duboka Misao, "a ipak, uz pomoć svojih složenih kola, ja mogu da brodim beskonačnim delta-strujama buduće verovatnoće i na taj način vidim da jednog dana mora doći takav kompjuter spram koga ja nisam dovoljno vredan ni da mu proračunam operacione parametre, a ipak će moja sudbina biti da ga na kraju sam načinim." |
| Fook sighed heavily and glanced across to Lunkwill. | Fuk teško uzdahnu i pogleda Lankvila. |
| “Can we get on and ask the question?” he said. | "Da pređemo na stvar i postavimo pitanje?" rekao je on. |
| Lunkwill motioned him to wait. | Lankvil podiže ruku da sačeka. |
| “What computer is this of which you speak?” he asked. | "O kakvom to kompjuteru govoriš?" rekao je. |
| “I will speak of it no further in this present time,” said Deep Thought. “Now. Ask what else of me you will that I may function. Speak.” | "O njemu više neću progovoriti u sadašnjem vremenu", reče Duboka Misao. "Lepo. Recite šta još želite od mene. Govorite." |
| They shrugged at each other. Fook composed himself. | Slegli su ramenima jedan prema drugome. Fuk se namesti. |
| “O Deep Thought computer,” he said, “the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to tell us …” he paused, “the Answer!” | "Oh, kompjuteru Duboka Misli", rekao je, "zadatak radi koga smo te načinili sledeći je: Želimo da nam kažeš..." Zastao je. "...Odgovor!" |
| “The Answer?” said Deep Thought. “The Answer to what?” | "Odgovor?" reče Duboka Misao. "Odgovor, na šta?" |
| “Life!” urged Fook. | "Na Život!" zbrza Fuk. |
| “The Universe!” said Lunkwill. | "Vaseljenu! reče Lankvil. |
| “Everything!” they said in chorus. | "I sve ostalo!" rekli su u jedan glas. |
| Deep Thought paused for a moment’s reflection. | Duboka Misao zastade da razmisli na trenutak. |
| “Tricky,” he said finally. | "Nezgodno", reče konačno. |
| “But can you do it?” | "Ali, možeš li to učiniti?" |
| Again, a significant pause. | Ponovo pauza puna značenja. |
| “Yes,” said Deep Thought, “I can do it.” | "Da", reče Duboka Misao. "Mogu". |
| “There is an answer?” said Fook with breathless excitement. | "Postoji Odgovor?" reče Fuk u oduševljenju koje mu je oduzimalo dah. |
| “A simple answer?” added Lunkwill. | "Jednostavan Odgovor?" dodade Lankvil. |
| “Yes,” said Deep Thought. “Life, the Universe and Everything. There is an answer. But,” he added, “I’ll have to think about it.” | "Da", reče Duboka Misao. "Život, Vaseljena i Sve Ostalo. Postoji odgovor. Ali", dodade, "moraću da razmislim." |
| A sudden commotion destroyed the moment: the door flew open and two angry men wearing the coarse faded-blue robes and belts of the Cruxwan University burst into the room, thrusting aside the ineffectual flunkie who tried to bar their way. | Iznenadni pokret pokvari ovaj trenutak: vrata se širom otvoriše i u sobu upadoše dva gnevna čoveka odevena u grube, bledoplave toge Kruksvanskog univerziteta, odgurnuvši nedelotvornu poslugu koja je pokušala da ih zaustavi. |
| “We demand admission!” shouted the younger of the two men, elbowing a pretty young secretary in the throat. | "Zahtevamo da nas primite!" povika mlađi od njih, gurajući od sebe laktom u vrat zgodnu, mladu sekretaricu. |
| “Come on,” shouted the older one, “you can’t keep us out!” He pushed a junior programmer back through the door. | "Hajde", dreknu stariji, "ne možete da nas ne pustite unutra!" Odgurnuo je jednog od mlađih programera kroz vrata. |
| “We demand that you can’t keep us out!” bawled the younger one, though he was now firmly inside the room and no further attempts were being made to stop him. | "Naš zahtev je da ne možete da nas ne pustite unutra!" zaurlao je mlađi, iako je sada već dobrano bio unutar prostorije i više niko nije ni pokušavao da ga zaustavi. |
| “Who are you?” said Lunkwill, rising angrily from his seat. “What do you want?” | "Ko ste vi?" upita Lankvil gnevno i podiže se sa svog sedišta. "Šta hoćete?" |
| “I am Majikthise!” announced the older one. | "Ja sam Mejdžiktiz!" izjavio je stariji. |
| “And I demand that I am Vroomfondel!” shouted the younger one. | "A ja zahtevam da sam Vrumfondel!" zaurla mlađi. |
| Majikthise turned on Vroomfondel. “It’s all right,” he explained angrily, “you don’t need to demand that.” | Mejdžiktiz se okrete Vrumfondelu. "Dobro, o'ladi malo", gnevno mu reče, "nema potrebe da to zahtevaš". |
| “All right!” bawled Vroomfondel, banging on a nearby desk. “I am Vroomfondel, and that is not a demand, that is a solid fact! What we demand is solid facts!” | "U redu!" urliknu ovaj i tresnu o obližnji sto. "Ja sam Vrumfondel, a to nije zahtev, nego čvrsta činjenica! Zahtevamo čvrste činjenice!" |
| “No, we don’t!” exclaimed Majikthise in irritation. “That is precisely what we don’t demand!” | "Ne, ne", uskliknu Mejdžiktiz iznervirano, "to je baš ono što ne zahtevamo!" |
| Scarcely pausing for breath, Vroomfondel shouted, “We don’t demand solid facts! What we demand is a total absence of solid facts. I demand that I may or may not be Vroomfondel!” | Jedva se zaustavivši da bi došao do daha, Vrumfondel dreknu: "Mi ne zahtevamo čvrste činjenice! U stvari zahtevamo potpuno nepostojanje čvrstih činjenica! Zahtevamo da možda budem Vrumfondel, a možda i ne!" |
| “But who the devil are you?” exclaimed an outraged Fook. | "Ali ko ste vi, do đavola?" uskliknuo je iznervirani Fuk. |
| “We,” said Majikthise, “are Philosophers.” | "Mi smo", reče Mejdžiktiz, "filozofi." |
| “Though we may not be,” said Vroomfondel, waving a warning finger at the programmers. | "Iako možda i nismo", reče Vrumfondel i pripreti prstom programerima. |
| “Yes, we are,” insisted Majikthise. “We are quite definitely here as representatives of the Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and Other Thinking Persons, and we want this machine off, and we want it off now!” | "Da, da, baš jesmo", bio je uporan Mejdžiktiz. "Mi smo neopozivo ovde kao predstavnici ujedinjenog sindikata filozofa, mudraca, mislilaca i drugih Prosvetljenih Ljudi i mi želimo da se ova mašina isključi, i to smesta!" |
| “What’s the problem?” said Lunkwill. | "U čemu je problem?" upita Lankvil. |
| “I’ll tell you what the problem is, mate,” said Majikthise, “demarcation, that’s the problem!” | "Reći ću ti u čemu je problem, druže", reče Mejdžiktiz. "Problem je u postavljanju granice!" |
| “We demand,” yelled Vroomfondel, “that demarcation may or may not be the problem!” | "Zahtevamo", vrisnu Vrumfondel, "da postavljanje granice bude problem, a možda i ne!" |
| “You just let the machines get on with the adding up,” warned Majikthise, “and we’ll take care of the eternal verities, thank you very much. You want to check your legal position, you do, mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate Truth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any bloody machine goes and actually finds it and we’re straight out of a job, aren’t we? I mean, what’s the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives you his bleeding phone number the next morning?” | "Pustite vi svoje mašine da se i dalje bave sabiranjem", upozori ih Mejdžiktiz, "a mi ćemo se pobrinuti za večne istine, moliću lepo. Trebalo bi da bolje sagledate svoj zakonski položaj, druže. Po zakonu, potraga za konačnom istinom neotuđivo je pravo svih radnih mislilaca. Ukoliko neka prokleta mašina tek tako dođe i pronađe odgovor, mi se nađosmo na ulici, bez posla, je l' tako? Hoću da kažem, kakvog ima smisla sedeti do pola noći i raspravljati ima li Boga ili nema, ako ta mašina naprosto ode i da vam sledećeg jutra njegov prokleti telefonski broj!" |
| “That’s right,” shouted Vroomfondel, “we demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!” | "Tako je", povika Vrumfondel, "zahtevamo jasno određene prostore sumnje i nesigurnosti!" |
| Suddenly a stentorian voice boomed across the room. | Iznenada se prostorijom zaori prodorni glas. |
| “Might I make an observation at this point?” inquired Deep Thought. | "Mogu li ja nešto da primetim po tom pitanju?" zainteresovala se Duboka Misao. |
| “We’ll go on strike!” yelled Vroomfondel. | "Počećemo štrajk!" dreknu Vrumfondel. |
| “That’s right!” agreed Majikthise. “You’ll have a national Philosophers’ strike on your hands!” | "Tako je!" složio se Mejdžiktiz. "Imaćete za vratom nacionalni štrajk filozofa!" |
| The hum level in the room suddenly increased as several ancillary bass driver units, mounted in sedately carved and varnished cabinet speakers around the room, cut in to give Deep Thought’s voice a little more power. | Nivo brujanja u prostoriji iznenada se podiže kada se uključi nekoliko pomoćnih bas-zvučnika, smeštenih u veličanstveno izrezbarenim, lakiranim, zvučnim kutijama svuda po sobi, da bi glasu Duboke Misli dodali još malo snage. |
| “All I wanted to say,” bellowed the computer, “is that my circuits are now irrevocably committed to calculating the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.” He paused and satisfied himself that he now had everyone’s attention, before continuing more quietly. “But the program will take me a little while to run.” | "Samo sam želeo da kažem", zabubnjao je kompjuter, "da su moja kola sada neopozivo posvećena proračunavanju Odgovora na konačno Pitanje Života, Vaseljene i Svega Ostalog..." On zastade i sa zadovoljstvom primeti da je sada zadobio pažnju svih prisutnih, a onda mirno nastavi: "Ali za izvođenje programa biće mi potrebno izvesno vreme". |
| Fook glanced impatiently at his watch. | Fuk nestrpljivo pogleda na sat. |
| “How long?” he said. | "Koliko?" rekao je on. |
| “Seven and a half million years,” said Deep Thought. Lunkwill and Fook blinked at each other. | "Sedam i po miliona godina", reče Duboka Misao. Lankvil i Fuk zažmirkaše jedan prema drugom. |
| “Seven and a half million years!” they cried in chorus. | "Sedam i po miliona godina", zakukaše u jedan glas. |
| “Yes,” declaimed Deep Thought, “I said I’d have to think about it, didn’t I? And it occurs to me that running a program like this is bound to create an enormous amount of popular publicity for the whole area of philosophy in general. Everyone’s going to have their own theories about what answer I’m eventually going to come up with, and who better to capitalize on that media market than you yourselves? So long as you can keep disagreeing with each other violently enough and maligning each other in the popular press, and so long as you have clever agents, you can keep yourselves on the gravy train for life. How does that sound?” | "Da", uzvratila je Duboka misao, "rekoh da moram da razmislim, zar ne? A čini mi se da će dejstvovanje takvog programa doneti ogromnu popularnost čitavoj oblasti filozofije uopšte. Svi će imati sopstvene teorije o tome kakav ću odgovor dati na kraju, a ko može bolje da se okoristi time na tržištu medija od vas samih? Sve dok budete dovoljno žestoko pobijali jedni druge i dok se budete svađali preko štampe, sve dok budete imali promućurne agente, teći će vam med i mleko. Kako vam to zvuči?" |
| The two philosophers gaped at him. | Dva filozofa zinuše na njega. |
| “Bloody hell,” said Majikthise, “now that is what I call thinking. Here, Vroomfondel, why do we never think of things like that?” | "Vrag ga vražiji", reče Mejdžiktiz, "to se zove pravo razmišljanje. Hej Vrumfondelu, zašto mi nikada ne umemo da smislimo takve stvari?" |
| “Dunno,” said Vroomfondel in an awed whisper; “think our brains must be too highly trained, Majikthise.” | "Ne znam", reče Vrumfondel glasom punim strahopoštovanja. "Mislim da je to zbog toga što su nam mozgovi previše školovani, Mejdžiktize." |
| So saying, they turned on their heels and walked out of the door and into a life-style beyond their wildest dreams. | To rekavši, okrenuli su se i izišli u život luđi od njihovih najluđih snova. |