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| KOSA | The Scythe |
| I onda, najednom, ceste više nije bilo. Tekla je dolinom kao i sve druge ceste, između padina pokrivenih stjenovitom goleti i živim hrastovima, a onda kraj širokoga žitnoga polja što je stajalo samo u divljini. Stizala je do bijele kućice što je pripadala žitnome polju i tu je naprosto zamrla, kao da se njezinu postojanju izgubila svrha. | Quite suddenly there was no more road. It ran down the valley like any other road, between slopes of barren, stony ground and live oak trees, and then past a broad field of wheat standing alone in the wilderness. It came up beside the small white house that belonged to the wheat field and then just faded out, as though there was no more use for it. |
| Što baš i nije bilo jako važno, jer je baš tu nestalo i zadnje kapi benzina. Drew Erickson je zakočio prastari automobil i ostao sjediti tako, bez riječi, i zuriti u svoje krupne, grube farmerske šake. | It didn't matter much, because just there the last of the gas was gone. Drew Erickson braked the ancient car to a stop and sat there, not speaking, staring at his big, rough farmer's hands. |
| I tad se javila Molly, ni ne maknuvši se u kutu, gdje je ležala do njega. "Ošli mi ukrivo, tamo na križanju." | Molly spoke, without moving where she lay in the corner beside him. "We must of took the wrong fork back yonder." |
| Drew je potvrdno zakimao glavom. | Drew nodded. |
| Mollyne su usne bile bijele skoro koliko i njezino lice. Samo što su one bile suhe, dok joj je koža bila mokra od znoja. Glas joj je bio sasvim jednoličan, bez ikakva izraza. | Molly's lips were almost as white as her face. Only they were dry, where her skin was damp with sweat. Her voice was flat with no expression in it. |
| "Drew", rekla je. "Drew, i što ćemo sad?" | "Drew," she said. "Drew, what are we a-goin' to do now?" |
| Drew se zagledao u ruke. Bile su to farmerske šake, iz kojih je farmu otpirio suh, gladan vjetar, koji nikako da se zasiti pjeskovite ilovače. | Drew stared at his hands. A farmer's hands, with the farm blown out from under them by the dry, hungry wind that never got enough good loam to eat. |
| Djeca su se na stražnjem sjedalu probudila, pa se iskopala iz prašnjave stelje zamotuljaka i posteljine. Provirila su glavom preko naslona i rekla: | The kids in the back seat woke up and pried themselves out of the dusty litter of bundles and bedding. They poked their heads over the back of the seat and said: |
| "Tata, a zašto smo stali? Tata, hoćemo sad jesti? Tata, umiremo od gladi. Tata, smijemo sad jesti?" | "What are we stoppin' for, Pa? Are we gonna eat now, Pa? Pa, we're awful hungry. Can we eat now, Pa?" |
| Drew je zatvorio oči. Mrzak mu je bio pogled na vlastite ruke. | Drew closed his eyes. He hated the sight of his hands. |
| Mollyni su mu prsti dotakli zglavak. Vrlo lagano, vrlo meko. "Drew, možda bi nam tu u kući mogli dati nešto za jesti?" Njemu se oko usta pokazala bijela crta. | Molly's fingers touched his wrist. Very light, very soft. "Drew, maybe in the house there they'd spare us somethin' to eat?" A white line showed around his mouth. |
| "Prosjačenje", rekao je oporo. "Nitko od mojih nikad nije prosio. I nitko nikad ni neće." | "Beggin'," he said harshly. "Ain't none of us ever begged before. Ain't none of us ever goin' to." |
| Mollyna mu se ruka stisla oko zapešća. Okrenuo se i ugledao joj oči. Ugledao je i oči Susie i maloga Drewa, koje su ga gledale. Polako mu se iz vrata i leđa izgubila sva krutost. Lice mu se opustilo i ispraznilo, obezličilo se poput stvari koju su tukli i prejako i predugo. Izišao je iz auta i krenuo stazom što je vodila prema kući. Koračao je nesigurno, poput čovjeka bolesnog, ili skoro slijepog. | Molly's hand tightened on his wrist. He turned and saw her eyes. He saw the eyes of Susie and little Drew, looking at him. Slowly all the stiffness went out of his neck and his back. His face got loose and blank, shapeless like a thing that has been beaten too hard and too long. He got out of the car and went up the path to the house. He walked uncertainly, like a man who is sick, or nearly blind. |
| Vrata su kuće bila otvorena. Drew je triput pokucao. Unutra nije bilo ničeg osim tišine, i bijelih prozorskih zavjesa što su se micale u polaganom, vrućem zraku. | The door of the house was open. Drew knocked three times. There was nothing inside but silence, and a white window curtain moving in the slow, hot air. |
| Znao je još prije nego što je ušao. Znao je da je u kući smrt. Bila je to takva tišina. | He knew it before he went in. He knew there was death in the house. It was that kind of silence. |
| Prošao je kroz malu, čistu dnevnu sobu i kroz kratki hodnik. Ništa nije mislio. Tu je fazu već bio nadišao. Išao je prema kuhinji, ne postavljajući pitanja, kao životinja. | He went through a small, clean living room and down a little hall. He wasn't thinking anything. He was past thinking. He was going toward the kitchen, unquestioning, like an animal. |
| A onda je pogledao kroz otvorena vrata i ugledao mrtvaca. Bio je to starac, i ležao je na čistom bijelom krevetu. Nije bio dugo mrtav; u svakom slučaju ne toliko da bi izgubio onaj posljednji tihi izraz smirenosti. Zacijelo je znao da će umrijeti, jer je na sebi imao ukopno ruho - staro crno odijelo, očetkano i uredno, čistu bijelu košulju i crnu kravatu. | Then he looked through an open door and saw the dead man. He was an old man, lying out on a clean white bed. He hadn't been dead long; not long enough to lose the last quiet look of peace. He must have known he was going to die, because he wore his grave clothes--an old black suit, brushed and neat, and a clean white shirt and a black tie. |
| Na zid, kraj kreveta, bila je prislonjena kosa. U starčevim je rukama bio klas žita, još svjež. Klas bogat, zlatan i težak u svojim rojtama. | A scythe leaned against the wall beside the bed. Between the old man's hands there was a blade of wheat, still fresh. A ripe blade, golden and heavy in the tassel. |
| Drew je ušao u sobu, hodajući vrlo tiho. Na nj se spustila nekakav studen. Skinuo je izlomljeni, prašnjavi šešir, pa stao kraj kreveta i oborio pogled. | Drew went into the bedroom, walking soft. There was a coldness on him. He took off his broken, dusty hat and stood by the bed, looking down. |
| Na jastuku, kraj starčeve glave, ležao je rastvoren list papira. Što je značilo da ga treba pročitati. Možda je to želja kako da ga se pokopa, ili pozdrav rođacima. Drew se namrštio na slova, mičući blijede, suhe usne. | The paper lay open on the pillow beside the old man's head. It was meant to he read. Maybe a request for burial, or to call a relative. Drew scowled over the words, moving his pale, dry lips. |
| Onome koji stoji kraj mene na mojoj smrtnoj postelji: Pri punoj svijesti, i sam na svijetu, kako mi je suđeno, ja, John Buhr, dajem i ostavljam ovu farmu, sa svime joj pripadajućim, čovjeku koji naiđe. Kakav god da bio imenom i porijeklom, sve je nevažno. Njegova je farma, a i žito; kosa a i posao joj dosuđen. Neka je uzme slobodno, i bez pitanja - i ne zaboravi da je ja, John Buhr, samo predajem, ali ne i darujem. Što potpisujem svojom rukom i pečatim na treći dan travnja, godine 1938. (Potpis:) John Buhr. | To him who stands beside me at my death bed: Being of sound mind, and alone in the world as it has been decreed, I, John Buhr, do give and bequeath this farm, with all pertaining to it, to the man who is to come. Whatever his name or origin shall be, it will not matter. The farm is his, and the wheat; the scythe, and the task ordained thereto. Let him take them freely, and without question--and re member that I, John Buhr, am only the giver, not the ordainer. To which I set my hand and seal this third day of April, 1938. ((Signed)) John Buhr. Kyrie eléison! |
| Kyrie eleison! | Kyrie eleison! |
| Drew se vratio kroz kuću i otvorio vanjska vrata. I rekao: "Molly, daj uđi. A vi, djeco, ostanite u autu." | Drew walked back through the house and opened the screen door. He said, "Molly, you come in. Kids, you stay in the car." |
| Molly je ušla. Odveo ju je u spavaonicu. Pogledala je oporuku, kosu, žitno polje što se, u vrućem vjetru, valjalo pod prozorom. Njeno se bijelo lice zateglo, i ugrizla se za usnu, i privila uza nj. "To je odveć lijepo da bi bilo istina. Tu se krije nekakva podvala." | Molly came inside. He took her to the bedroom. She looked at the will, the scythe, the wheat field moving in a hot wind outside the window. Her white face tightened up and she bit her lips and held onto him. "It's too good to be true. There must be some trick to it." |
| Našto je Drew odgovorio: "Naša se sreća okrenula, i to je sve. Imamo svoj posao, i ručak na stolu, a nad sobom krov da nam ne pada kiša po glavi." Dotakao je kosu. Ona je bljesnula kao polumjesec. U oštricu je bilo ugrebano: TKO VLADA MNOME - VLADA SVIJETOM! To mu nije puno govorilo, bar ne u tom času. | Drew said, "Our luck's changin', that's all. We'll have work to do, stuff to eat, somethin' over our heads to keep rain off." He touched the scythe. It gleamed like a half-moon. Words were scratched on its blade: WHO WIELDS ME--WIELDS THE WORLD! It didn't mean much to him, right at that moment. |
| "Drew," upitala je Molly i zagledala se u starčeve sklopljene ruke, "zašto - zašto taj klas drži tako čvrsto među prstima?" | "Drew," Molly asked, staring at the old man's clasped hands, "why--why's he holdin' that wheat-stalk so hard in his fingers?" |
| I baš se tada teška tišina razbila zvukovima što su ih proizvodila djeca verući se na prednju verandu. Molly je dahnula. | Just then the heavy silence was broken by the sound of the kids scrambling up the front porch. Molly gasped. |
| Uselili su se u kuću. Starca su pokopali na brijegu i nad njim izrekli nekoliko riječi, pa se vratili i pomeli podove i istovarili auto i nešto založili, zato što je u kuhinji bilo hrane, i to puno; i tri dana nisu radili ništa drugo doli popravljali kuću i gledali zemlju i ležali u dobrim posteljama, a onda bi se pogledali, iznenađeni što se sve to zbiva baš tako, i želuci su im bili puni, a našla bi se čak i cigara da je uvečer zapali. | They lived in the house. They buried the old man on a hill and said some words over him, and came back down and swept the house and unloaded the car and had something to eat, because there was food, lots of it, in the kitchen; and they did nothing for three days but fix the house and look at the land and lie in the good beds, and then look at one another in surprise that all this was happening this way, and their stomachs were full and there was even a cigar for him to smoke in the evenings |
| Iza kuće je bila mala štala, i u njoj bik i tri krave; a bila je tu i kućica nad vrelom, pod nekoliko velikih stabala, kusnica u kojoj je vladala stalna hladovina. A u toj su kućici bile velike peče govedine i slanine i svinjetine i ovčetine, dovoljno da se obitelj i pet puta veća od njihove hrani godinu, dvije, možda i tri godine dana. Bila je tu i bućkalica, i škrinja puna sira, i velike metalne kante za mlijeko. | There was a small barn behind the house and in the barn a bull and three cows; and there was a well-house, a spring-house, under some big trees that kept it cool. And inside the well-house were big sides of beef and bacon and pork and mutton, enough to feed a family five times their size for a year, two years, maybe three. There was a churn and a box of cheese there, and big metal cans for the milk. |
| Četvrtog je jutra Drew Erickson ležao u krevetu i gledao kosu, i shvaćao daje vrijeme da se prihvati posla, jer je žito u dugom polju bilo sazrelo; vidio je to očima, a nije želio da ga ležanje razmekša. Tri dana sjedenja dovoljno je svakome. Ustao je s prvim svježim mirisom zore i uzeo kosu i pružio je pred sebe i krenuo u polje. Podigao ju je visoko, i onda je zamahom spustio. | On the fourth morning Drew Erickson lay in bed looking at the scythe, and he knew it was time for him to work because there was ripe grain in the long field; he had seen it with his eyes, and he did not want to get soft. Three days' sitting were enough for any man. He roused himself in the first fresh smell of dawn and took the scythe and held it before him as he walked out into the field. He held it up in his hands and swung it down. |
| Bilo je to veliko žitno polje. Preveliko za jednoga čovjeka, pa ipak ga je obrađivao samo jedan čovjek. | It was a big field of grain. Too big for one man to tend, and yet one man had tended it. |
| Na kraju prvoga dana rada, ušao je s kosom tiho zajašenom na ramenu, a na licu mu je bio izraz koji je odavao začuđenost. Bilo je to žitno polje kakvome još nikad nije vidio ni slična. Sazrijevalo je samo u odvojenim busovima, i svaki je bio odijeljen od drugih. Što žito ne bi smjelo raditi. Ali Molly nije ništa rekao. Kao što joj nije rekao i još ponešto o tom polju. Kao, primjerice, to da bi žito istrulilo već nekoliko sati nakon što bi ga pokosio. Žito ne bi smjelo raditi ni to. Ali sve ga to nije jako zabrinulo. Na koncu konca, pri ruci su imali dovoljno hrane. | At the end of the first day of work, he walked in with the scythe riding his shoulder quietly, and there was a look on his face of a puzzled man. It was a wheat field the like of which he had never seen. It ripened only in separate clusters, each set off from the others. Wheat shouldn't do that. He didn't tell Molly. Nor did he tell her the other things about the field. About how, for instance, the wheat rotted within a few hours after he cut it down. Wheat shouldn't do that, either. He was not greatly worried. After all, there was food at hand. |
| Sutradan ujutro, ono žito što ga je, pokošena, ostavio da trune, ponovno je uhvatilo korijen i ponovno niknulo u sitnim zelenim izdancima, učvršćeno sitnim koijenčićima, sve iznova rođeno. | The next morning the wheat he had left rotting, cut down, had taken hold and came up again in little green sprouts, with tiny roots, all born again. |
| Drew Erickson je protrljao bradu, upitao se što se to i zašto se to i kako ponaša tako, i kakva mu korist od njega - jer ga nije mogao prodati. Tog je dana nekoliko puta otišao daleko u brdo, na starčev grob, čisto da se uvjeri da je on još tu, i da mu on, možda, nečim dade naslutiti što je to s tim poljem. Spustio je pogled i shvatio koliko zemlje posjeduje. Žito se stiralo pune tri milje prema planinama, a bilo je široko oko dva jutra, s krpama mladica, krpama zlata, krpama zelenila, krpama svježe pokošenim njegovom rukom. | Drew Erickson rubbed his chin, wondered what and why and how it acted that way, and what good it would be to him--he couldn't sell it. A couple of times during the day he walked far up in the hills to where the old man's grave was, just to be sure the old man was there, maybe with some notion he might get an idea there about the field. He looked down and saw how much land he owned. The wheat stretched three miles in one direction toward the mountains, and was about two acres wide, patches of it in seedlings, patches of it golden, patches of it green, patches of it fresh cut by his hand. |
| Ali mu starac glede toga nije rekao baš ništa; sad mu je na licu bilo mnogo i kamenja i blata. Grob je bio na suncu, u tišini i vjetrovima. I tako se Drew Erickson vratio da se ponovno prihvati kose, radoznao i uživajući u njoj, jer mu se činila važnom. Nije baš znao razlog, ali je bila. Jako, jako važna. | But the old man said nothing concerning this; there were a lot of stones and dirt in his face now. The grave was in the sun and the wind and silence. So Drew Erickson walked back down to use the scythe, curious, enjoying it because it seemed important. He didn't know just why, but it was. Very, very important. |
| Nije mogao pustiti da žito samo tako stoji. Stalno su se pojavljivale sve nove krpice sazreloga, i onda je, u glasnom razmišljanju, neupućenu nikom određenom, Drew rekao: "Kad bi to žito žnjeo sljedećih deset godina, kako koje dozori, ne vjerujem da bih dvaput prešao isto mjesto. Polje veliko ko sam vrag." Zatresao je glavom. "To žito dozrijeva samo tako. Nikad ga odjednom nema previše, tako da ga ne mogu čitavog pokositi istoga dana. Tako ne ostane ništa osim zelenoga zrnja. A sutradan ujutro, vidi vraga, opet krpica dozreloga..." | He couldn't just let the wheat stand. There were always new patches of it ripened, and in his figuring out loud to no one in particular he said, "If I cut the wheat for the next ten years, just as it ripens up, I don't think I'll pass the same spot twice. Such a damn big field." He shook his head. "That wheat ripens just so. Never too much of it so I can't cut all the ripe stuff each day. That leaves nothin' hut green grain. And the next mornin', sure enough, another patch of ripe stuff. . . ." |
| Bilo je zaista do neba glupo žnjeti žito koje istrune čim padne. Na koncu je tjedna odlučio nekoliko dana sve pustiti s mirom. | It was damned foolish to cut the grain when it rotted as quick as it fell. At the end of the week he decided to let it go a few days. |
| Ostao je u krevetu do kasno, i samo je osluškivao tišinu u kući, tišinu nipošto grobnu, već tišina kuće što živi sretno i veselo. | He lay in bed late, just listening to the silence in the house that wasn't anything like death silence, but a silence of things living well and happily. |
| Ustao je, odjenuo se, i polako doručkovao. Danas ne ide na posao. Izišao je pomusti krave, i zastao na verandi da popuši cigaretu, potom se malo prošetao po stražnjem dvorištu, no onda se vratio i upitao Molly što da sada radi. | He got up, dressed, and ate his breakfast slowly. He wasn't going to work. He went out to milk the cows, stood on the porch smoking a cigarette, walked about the back-yard a little and then came back in and asked Molly what he had gone out to do. |
| "Pomuzi krave", rekla je ona. | "Milk the cows," she said. |
| "O, da", odgovorio je on pa ponovno izišao. Otkrio je da su krave pune i da ga jedva čekaju, pa ih je pomuzao i odnio kante s mlijekom u kućicu nad vrutkom, ali su mu misli pritom bile daleko. Žito. Kosa. | "Oh, yes," he said, and went out again. He found the cows waiting and full, and milked them and put the milk cans in the springhouse, hut thought of other things. The wheat. The scythe. |
| Čitavo je jutro prosjedio na stražnjoj verandi i motao cigarete. Malom je Drewu napravio brodić, pa zatim još jedan za Susie, a onda je izbućkao malo mlijeka u maslac i izlio mlaćenicu, ali ga je sunce tuklo u glavu, i to bolno. Bome je upeklo. Za ručkom nije bio gladan. Nastavio je gledati u žito, kako ga vjetar svija i uvija i razbašuruje. Ruke su mu se napinjale, a prsti, što su mu počivali na koljenu dok je ponovno sjedio na verandi, pokušali su uhvatiti prazan zrak, i svrbjeli su. Jastučići su na rukama bridjeli i gorjeli. Ustao je i otro ruke o hlače, pa ponovno sjeo i pokušao smotati još jednu cigaretu, no onda se sav zapleo i uz mrmljanje sve to bacio od sebe. Osjećao se kao da mu je netko odsjekao treću ruku, ili kao da je izgubio nešto od sebe, nešto na neki način povezano sa šakama i rukama. | All through the morning he sat on the hack porch rolling cigarettes. He made a toy boat for little Drew and one for Susie, and then he churned some of the milk into butter and drew off the buttermilk, hut the sun was in his head, aching. It burned there. He wasn't hungry for lunch. He kept looking at the wheat and the wind bending and tipping and ruffling it. His arms flexed, his fingers, resting on his knee as he sat again on the porch, made a kind of grip in the empty air, itching. The pads of his palms itched and burned. He stood up and wiped his hands on his pants and sat down and tried to roll another cigarette and got mad at the mixings and threw it all away with a muttering. He had a feeling as if a third arm had been cut off of him, or he had lost something of himself. It had to do with his hands and his arms. |
| Začuo je šapat vjetra u polju. | He heard the wind whisper in the field. |
| U jedan je sat počeo ulaziti i izlaziti iz kuće, plesti se i razmišljati o kopanju kanala za natapanje, no svoje to vrijeme zapravo mislio samo o žitu i tome koliko je zrelo i lijepo, i kako bolno čezne da ga požanje. | By one o'clock he was going in and out of the house, getting underfoot, thinking about digging an irrigation ditch, but all the time really thinking about the wheat and how ripe and beautiful it was, aching to be cut. |
| "Ma do sto crnih đavola!" | "Damn it to hell!" |
| Otkoračao je u spavaonicu, pa skinuo kosu s klina na zidu. Stajao je tako i držao je. Osjetio je ugodnu hladnoću. Dlanovi su mu prestali bridjeti. Glava ga je prestala boljeti. Treća mu se ruka vratila. Opet je bila netaknuta. | He strode into the bedroom, took the scythe down off its wallpegs. He stood holding it. He felt cool. His hands stopped itching. His head didn't ache. The third arm was returned to him. He was intact again. |
| Bio je to instinkt, nelogičan kao udarac groma, i nimalo bolan. Žito valja žnjeti dnevice. On ga mora žnjeti. Zašto? Pa mislim, naprosto se mora, i to je sve. Nasmijao se kosi u svojim krupnim šakama. A onda ju je, zviždučući, odnio na zrelo polje što ga je čekalo, i obavio posao. Pomislio je kako je pomalo lud. Dovraga, pa to je zaista sasvim normalno žitno polje, zar ne? Skoro da jest. | It was instinct. Illogical as lightning striking and not hurting. Each day the grain must be cut. It had to be cut. Why? Well, it just did, that was all. He laughed at the scythe in his big hands. Then, whistling, he took it out to the ripe and waiting field and did the work. He thought himself a little mad. Hell, it was an ordinary-enough wheat field, really, wasn't it? Almost. |
| Dani su trčali u elegantnim skokovima plemenitih konja. | The days loped away like gentle horses. |
| Drew Erickson je u svom poslu počeo nalaziti nekakvu suhu čežnju, glad i potrebu. U glavi su mu se počele stvarati kojekakve slike. | Drew Erickson began to understand his work as a sort of dry ache and hunger and need. Things built in his head. |
| Jednog su se podneva, dok je otac ručao u kuhinji, Susie i Drew hihotali i igrali kosom. On ih je čuo. Izišao je i oduzeo im je. Nije na njih vikao. Samo se jako zabrinuo, i poslije ju je stao zaključavati kad god mu ne bi trebala. | One noon, Susie and little Drew giggled and played with the scythe while their father lunched in the kitchen. He heard them. He came out and took it away from them. He didn't yell at them. He just looked very concerned and locked the scythe up after that, when it wasn't being used. |
| I nikad nije propustio ni jedan jedini dan, u tom svom košenju. | He never missed a day, scything. |
| Gore. Dolje. Gore, dolje i poprijeko. Zatim ponovno gore i dolje i poprijeko. Koseći. Gore. Dolje. | Up. Down. Up, down, and across. Back and up and down and across. Cutting. Up. Down. |
| Gore. | Up. |
| Razmisli o starcu i klasu u njegovoj šaci u smrtnome času. | Think about the old man and the wheat in his hands when he died. |
| Dolje. | Down. |
| Razmisli o toj mrtvoj zemlji, na kojoj živi žito. | Think about this dead land, with wheat living on it. |
| Gore. | Up. |
| Razmisli o šašavim šarama zrelog i zelenog žita, o tome kako raste! | Think about the crazy patterns of ripe and green wheat, the way it grows! |
| Dolje. | Down. |
| Razmisli o... | Think about . . . |
| Žito mu se pri gležnjevima zakovitlalo u punoj Žutoj plimi. Nebo se smračilo. Drew Erickson je ispustio kosu i savio se i uhvatio za želudac, a oči su mu slijepo zakolutale. Svijet se zavrtio. | The wheat whirled in a full yellow tide at his ankles. The sky blackened. Drew Erickson dropped the scythe and bent over to hold his stomach, his eyes running blindly. The world reeled. |
| "Ja sam nekoga ubio!" dahnuo je, gušeći se, hvatajući se za prsa, i pao na koljena, do oštrice. "Pobio sam mnogo..." | "I've killed somebody!" he gasped, choking, holding to his chest, falling to his knees beside the blade. "I've killed a lot--" |
| Nebo se zavrtjelo poput plavoga vrtuljka na okružnom vašaru u Kansasu. Ali bez glazbe. Čuo je samo zvonjavu u ušima. | The sky revolved like a blue merry-go-round at the county fair in Kansas. But no music. Only a ringing in his ears. |
| Kad je ubazao u kuhinju, vukući za sobom kosu, Molly je sjedila za modrim kuhinjskim stolom i gulila krumpire. "Molly!" | Molly was sitting at the blue kitchen table peeling potatoes when he blundered into the kitchen, dragging the scythe behind him. "Molly!" |
| Molly je zaplivala u mokrim koja mu je preplavila oči. | She swam around in the wet of his eyes. |
| A samo je sjedila tako, a ruke su joj pale ustranu, i čekala da to napokon istisne iz sebe. | She sat there, her hands fallen open, waiting for him to finally get it out. |
| "Spremaj stvari", rekao je zureći u pod. | "Get the things packed!" he said, looking at the floor. |
| "Zašto?" | "Why?" |
| "Odlazimo", rekao je tupo. | "We're leaving," he said, dully. |
| "Odlazimo?" rekla je ona. | "We're leaving?" she said. |
| "Onaj starac. Znaš li što je on ovdje radio? Ono je žito, Molly, a ovo je kosa. Svaki put kad kosom zamahnem kroz žito, tisuću ljudi umre. Ja napravim otkos, i..." | "That old man. You know what he did here? It's the wheat, Molly, and this scythe. Every time you use the scythe on the wheat a thousand people die. You cut across them and--" |
| Molly je ustala, pa spustila nož i gurnula krumpire u stranu, i rekla, posve razumno: "Puno smo putovali, a nismo se pošteno najeli sve dok pred mjesec dana nismo došli ovamo, a ti radiš iz dana u dan, i umoran si..." | Molly got up and put the knife down and the potatoes to one side and said, understandingly, "We traveled a lot and haven't eaten good until the last month here, and you been workin' every day and you're tired--" |
| "Ja čujem glasove, tužne glasove, vani. U žitu", rekao je. "Vele mi da prestanem. Vele mi da ih ne ubijam!" | "I hear voices, sad voices, out there. In the wheat," he said. "Tellin' me to stop. Tellin' me not to kill them!" |
| "Drew!" | "Drew!" |
| Ali on je nije čuo. "To polje raste nekako opako, divlje, poludjelo. To ti nisam rekao. Ali je nevaljalo." | He didn't hear her. "The field grows crooked, wild, like a crazy thing. I didn't tell you. But it's wrong." |
| Ona se samo zagledala u nj. Njegove su oči bile plavo staklo, ništa drugo. | She stared at him. His eyes were blue glass, nothing else. |
| "Ti misliš da sam poludio", rekao je Drew, "ali čekaj dok ti sve ispričam. O, Bože, Molly, pomozi mi; maločas sam ubio vlastitu majku!" | "You think I'm crazy," he said, "but wait 'til I tell you. Oh, God, Molly, help me; I just killed my mother!" |
| "Prestani s tim!" rekla je ona čvrstim glasom. | "Stop it!" she said firmly. |
| "Presjekao sam jednu žitnu stapku i ubio je. Osjetio sam kako umire, i tako sam zapravo i otkrio..." | "I cut down one stalk of wheat and I killed her. I felt her dyin', that's how I found out just now--" |
| "Drew!" Njen je glas bio udarac bičem preko lica, ljutit i sad već ustrašen. "Daj šuti!" | "Drew!" Her voice was like a crack across the face, angry and afraid now. "Shut up!" |
| On je samo zamumljao. "O... Molly..." | He mumbled. "Oh--Molly--" |
| Kosa mu je ispala iz ruke i zazveketala po podu. Ona ju je podigla ljutitim impulsom i postavila je u kut. "Već sam deset godina s tobom", rekla je Molly. "Pokatkad u ustima nismo imali ništa osim prašine i molitve. A sad, najednom sva ta sreća, i ti je ne možeš podnijeti!" | The scythe dropped from his hands, clamored on the floor. She picked it up with a snap of anger and set it in one corner. "Ten years I been with you," she said. "Sometimes we had nothin' but dust and prayers in our mouths. Now, all this good luck sudden, and you can't bear up under it!" |
| Potom je iz dnevne sobe donijela Bibliju. | She brought the Bible from the living room. |
| Zašuškala je njenim stranicama. Zvučalo je to kao šuškanje žita na sporom povjetarcu. "Sad sjedni i poslušaj", rekla je ona. | She rustled its pages over. They sounded like the wheat rustling in a small, slow wind. "You sit down and listen," she said. |
| Iz sunca je do njih dopro zvuk. Bila su to djeca što su se smijala u hladovini velikoga živoga hrasta kraj kuće. | A sound came in from the sunshine. The kids, laughing in the shade of the large live oak beside the house. |
| Ona je čitala iz Biblije, pogledavajući tu i tamo da vidi što se zbiva s Drewovim licem. | She read from the Bible, looking up now and again to see what was happening to Drew's face. |
| Nakon toga je iz nje čitala svakoga dana. Sljedeće srijede, tjedan dana kasnije, kad je Drew otpješačio u daleki gradić da vidi ima li pošte, dočekalo ga je pismo. | She read from the Bible each day after that. The following Wednesday, a week later, when Drew walked down to the distant town to see if there was any General Delivery mail, there was a letter. |
| Vratio se kući držeći se kao da su mu dvije stotine godina. Pružio je pismo Molly i ispričao joj što u njemu piše. Učinio je to hladnim, jednoličnim glasom. | He came home looking two hundred years old. He held the letter out to Molly and told her what it said in a cold, uneven voice. |
| "Mama je umrla - u utorak, u jedan sat popodne - od srca..." | "Mother passed away--one o'clock Tuesday afternoon--her heart--" |
| I sve što je Drew Erickson imao reći, bilo je: "Trpaj djecu u kola, i nakrcaj hrane. Nastavljamo za Californiju." | All that Drew Erickson had to say was, "Get the kids in the car, load it up with food. We're goin' on to California." |
| "Drew..." rekla je njegova žena, držeći pismo. | "Drew--" said his wife, holding the letter. |
| "Znaš i sama", rekao je on. "Ovo je loša zemlja za pšenicu. A vidi je kako dozrijeva i raste. I još ti nisam rekao sve. Ona dozrijeva u krpama, svakoga dana pomalo. I tu se nešto ne slaže. A kad je pokosim, trune! A ujutro ponovno izbija, bez ičije pomoći, raste ponovno! Prošloga utorka, prije tjedan dana, kad sam pokosio žito, bilo mi je kao da razdirem vlastito meso. Čuo sam nečiji krik. Zvučalo je kao... A sada, danas, to pismo." | "You know yourself," he said, "this is poor grain land. Yet look how ripe it grows. I ain't told you all the things. It ripens in patches, a little each day. It ain't right. And when I cut it, it rots! And next mornin' it comes up without any help, growin' again! Last Tuesday, a week ago, when I cut the grain it was like rippin' my own flesh. I heard somebody scream. It sounded just like--And now, today, this letter." |
| Ona je odgovorila: "Ostajemo ovdje." | She said, "We're stayin' here." |
| "Molly." | "Molly." |
| "Ostajemo ovdje, gdje smo sigurni da ćemo jesti i spavati i živjeti pristojno i dugo. Moja djeca neće više nikada gladovati!" | "We're stayin' here, where we're sure of eatin' and sleepin' and livin' decent and livin' long. I'm not starvin' my children down again, ever!" |
| Nebo je u prozorima bilo plavo. Sunce je koso bacalo svoje zrake, i doticalo polovicu Mollyna hladnog lica, i prosijavalo jedno oko jarkom modrinom. Prije nego što je Drew uzdahnuo, četiri-pet kapi vode objesilo se i polako otkinulo s kuhinjske pipe, i zasjalo. Taj uzdah je bio promukao i rezigniran i umoran. Kimnuo je glavom i skrenuo pogled. "U redu", rekao je. "Ostajemo." | The sky was blue through the windows. The sun slanted in, touching half of Molly's calm face, shining one eye bright blue. Four or five water drops hung and fell from the kitchen faucet slowly, shining, before Drew sighed. The sigh was husky and resigned and tired. He nodded, looking away. "All right," he said. "We'll stay." |
| Slabašnim je pokretom podigao kosu. Riječi u kovini poskočile su u oštrom svjetlucanju. | He picked up the scythe weakly. The words on the metal leaped up with a sharp glitter. |
| TKO VLADA MNOME - VLADA SVIJETOM! | WHO WIELDS ME--WIELDS THE WORLD! |
| "Ostajemo..." | "We'll stay. . . ." |
| Sutradan je ujutro otišao do starčeva groba. Iz njegova je središta izbijala jedincata svježa mladica. Ista ona biljka, iznova rođena, što ju je prije mnogo tjedana starac držao u ruci. | Next morning he walked to the old man's grave. There was a single fresh sprout of wheat growing in the center of it. The same sprout, reborn, that the old man had held in his hands weeks before. |
| Govorio je starcu, ali nije dočekao odgovora. | He talked to the old man, getting no answers. |
| "Ti si u tom polju radio čitavog života zato što si to morao, i jednog si dana naišao na vlastiti život što je tu rastao. Znao si da je tvoj. Pokosio si ga. I vratio se kući, odjenuo pogrebno ruho, i srce te je izdalo i umro si. Tako je to bilo, zar ne? I tu si zemlju ostavio meni, a kad ja umrem, trebao bih je predati sljedećem." | "You worked the field all your life because you had to, and one day you came across your own life growin' there. You knew it was yours. You cut it. And you went home, put on your grave clothes, and your heart gave out and you died. That's how it was, wasn't it? And you passed the land on to me, and when I die, I'm supposed to hand it over to someone else." |
| U Drewovu je glasu bila jeza. "Koliko to već tako traje? A da nitko ne zna za polje i čemu ono služi, nitko osim čovjeka s kosom..?" | Drew's voice had awe in it. "How long a time has this been goin' on? With nobody knowin' about this field and its use except the man with the scythe . . ." |
| I onda se najednom osjetio jako starim. Dolina mu se učinila pradrevnom, mumificiranom, tajnovitom, osušenom i uvrnutom i silnom. Kad su Indijanci plesali prerijom, ona je još bila tu, i to polje. Isto nebo, isti vjetar, isto žito. A prije Indijanaca? Nekakvi kromanjonci, kvrgavi i raščupani, koji su, možda, mahali drvenom kosom i lutali kroz živo žito... | Quite suddenly he felt very old. The valley seemed ancient, mummified, secretive, dried and bent and powerful. When the Indians danced on the prairie it had been here, this field. The same sky, the same wind, the same wheat. And, before the Indians? Some Cro-Magnon, gnarled and shag-haired, wielding a crude wooden scythe, perhaps, prowling down through the living wheat. |
| Drew se vratio na posao. Gore, dolje. Gore, dolje. Opsjednut pomišlju da je vladalac kose. On, glavom! Sunulo je to u njemu u ludom naletu snage i užasa. | Drew returned to work. Up, down. Up, down. Obsessed with the idea of being the wielder of the scythe. He, himself! It burst upon him in a mad, wild surge of strength and horror. |
| Gore! TKO VLADA MNOME! Dolje! VLADA SVIJETOM! | Up! WHO WIELDS ME! Down! WIELDS THE WORLD! |
| Morao je prihvatiti taj posao s nekakvom filozofijom. Bio je to naprosto posao kojim je zarađivao stan i hranu za svoju obitelj. Zavrijedili su da, nakon toliko godina, pristojno i jedu i žive, pomislio je Drew. | He had to accept the job with some sort of philosophy. It was simply his way of getting food and housing for his family. They deserved eating and living decent, he thought, after all these years. |
| Gore i dolje. Svakoje zrno život što ga je uredno presjekao na dva dijela. Bude li pažljivo isplanirao - pogledao je pšenicu - onda će, mislim, i on i Molly i djeca živjeti dovijeka! | Up and down. Each grain a life he neatly cut into two pieces. If he planned it carefully--he looked at the wheat--why, he and Molly and the kids could live forever! |
| Kad jednom pronađe mjesto na kojemu raste žito koje je Molly i Susie i mali Drew, nikad ga neće pokositi. | Once he found the place where the grain grew that was Molly and Susie and little Drew he would never cut it. |
| I onda, kao na dani znak, ono je i došlo, nečujno. | And then, like a signal, it came, quietly. |
| Odmah tu, preda nj. | Right there, before him. |
| Još jedan zamah kose i on bi ih pokosio. | Another sweep of the scythe and he'd cut them away. |
| Molly, Drew, Susie. Bilo je to sigurno. Drhćući, kleknuo je i pogledao tih nekoliko klasova. Kad ih je dotakao, klasovi su se zažarili. | Molly, Drew, Susie. It was certain. Trembling, he knelt and looked at the few grains of wheat. They glowed at his touch. |
| Prostenjao je od olakšanja. A što da ih je pokosio, ništa i ne sluteći? Ispustio je zrak iz pluća i ustao i uzeo kosu i odstupio od žita i ostao tako dugo stajati oborena pogleda. | He groaned with relief. What if he had cut them down, never guessing? He blew out his breath and got up and took the scythe and stood back away from the wheat and stood for a long while looking down. |
| Molly je pomislila kako je strašno neobično što ju je, vrativši se kući, bez ikakva povoda poljubio u obraz. | Molly thought it awfully strange when he came home early and kissed her on the cheek, for no reason at all. |
| A za večerom je Molly rekla: "Danas si rano bio gotov? Da li... da li se žito i dalje kvari kad padne?" | At dinner, Molly said, "You quit early today? Does--does the wheat still spoil when it falls?" |
| On je kimnuo glavom i poslužio se s još mesa. | He nodded and took more meat. |
| Ona je rekla: "Trebao bi pisati agronomima da dođu i vide što je to." | She said, "You ought to write to the Agriculture people and have them come look at it." |
| "Ne", odgovorio je on. | "No," he said. |
| "Samo sam predložila", odgovorila je ona. | "I was just suggestin'," she said. |
| Njemu su se raširile oči. "Ovdje ću morati ostati do smrti. U to se žito ne smije nitko plesti; oni ne bi znali gdje kositi, a gdje ne kositi. Možda bi pokosili na krivomu mjestu." | His eyes dilated. "I got to stay here all my life. Can't nobody else mess with that wheat; they wouldn't know where to cut and not to cut. They might cut the wrong parts." |
| "Kakvom to krivomu mjestu?" | "What wrong parts?" |
| "Nikakvom", odgovorio je on, polako žvačući. "Baš nikakvom." | "Nothin'," he said, chewing slowly. "Nothin' at all." |
| Žestoko je pljesnuo vilicom. "Tko zna što bi sve njima palo na pamet! Ti državni činovnici! Oni bi možda... možda čak htjeli čitavo to polje preorati!" | He slapped his fork down, hard. "Who knows what they might want to do! Those government men! They might even--might even want to plow the whole field under!" |
| Molly je kimnula glavom. "E baš bi to trebalo učiniti", rekla je ona. "I početi sve iz početka, s novim sjemenom." | Molly nodded. "That's just what it needs," she said. "And start all over again, with new seed." |
| Ustao je od stola i ne ručavši. "Neću pisati nikakvoj vladi, i neću predati polje nikakvom neznancu da ga on žanje, i to je sve!" rekao je i za njim su tresnula vanjska vrata. | He didn't finish eating. "I'm not writin' any gover'ment, and I'm not handin' this field over to no stranger to cut, and that's that!" he said, and the screen door banged behind him. |
| Zaobilazio je mjesto gdje su životi njegove žene i djece rasli na suncu, i svojom je kosom mahao na drugom kraju polja gdje je znao da neće pogriješiti. | He detoured around that place where the lives of his children and his wife grew up in the sun, and used his scythe on the far end of the field where he knew he would make no mistakes. |
| Ali mu se posao više nije milio. A već nakon jednoga sata shvatio je da je donio smrt trojici svojih starih, voljenih prijatelja u Missouriju. Pročitao im je imena u pokošenim klasovima i nije mogao dalje. | But he no longer liked the work. At the end of an hour he knew he had brought death to three of his old, loved friends in Missouri. He read their names on the cut grain and couldn't go on. |
| Zaključao je kosu u podrum i sklonio ključ. Gotovo je sa žetvom, jednom i za svagda. | He locked the scythe in the cellar and put the key away. He was done with the reaping, done for good and all. |
| Uveče je zapalio lulu, na prednjoj verandi, i pričao djeci priče da im čuje smijeh. Ali se ona baš nisu smijala. Doimala su se nekako povučeno, umorno i čudno, kao da više i nisu djeca. | He smoked his pipe in the evening on the front porch, and told the kids stories to hear them laugh. But they didn't laugh much. They seemed withdrawn, tired and funny, like they weren't his children any more. |
| Molly se tužila na glavobolju, neko se vrijeme vukla po kući, a onda rano pošla u postelju i pala u dubok san. I to je bilo čudno. Molly je uvijek ostajala budna do kasna i bila je uvijek žestoka kao ocat. | Molly complained of a headache, dragged around the house a little, went to bed early and fell into a deep sleep. That was funny, too. Molly always stayed up late and was full of vinegar. |
| Žitno se polje mreškalo i na mjesečini, koja ga je pretvarala u more. | The wheat field rippled with moonlight on it, making it into a sea. |
| Trebalo ga je požnjeti. Neke je dijelove trebalo požnjeti smjesta. Drew Erickson se uspravio u postelji, tiho progutao slinu, i trudio se da ga ne gleda. | It wanted cutting. Certain parts needed cutting now. Drew Erickson sat, swallowing quietly, trying not to look at it. |
| Što bi se dogodilo sa svijetom kad on više nikad ne bi otišao u polje? Što bi se dogodilo s ljudima sazrelima za smrt, koji čekaju dolazak kose? | What'd happen to the world if he never went in the field again? What'd happen to people ripe for death, who waited the coming of the scythe? |
| Pričekat će i vidjeti. | He'd wait and see. |
| Kad je Drew puhnuo u petrolejku i pošao u krevet, Molly je disala tiho. Nije mogao zaspati. Slušao je vjetar u žitu, u rukama i prstima ćutio glad za poslom. | Molly was breathing softly when he blew out the oil lamp and got to bed. He couldn't sleep. He heard the wind in the wheat, felt the hunger to do the work in his arms and fingers. |
| Usred noći otkrio je da korača kroz polje, s kosom u ruci. Da hoda poput poludjela čovjeka, da hoda pun straha i tek napola budan. Ne sjeća se kako je otključao vrata podruma, kako je uzeo kosu, ali sad je bio na mjesečini i koračao kroz klasje. | In the middle of the night he found himself walking in the field, the scythe in his hands. Walking like a crazy man, walking and afraid, half-awake. He didn't remember unlocking the cellar door, getting the scythe, but here he was in the moonlight, walking in the grain. |
| Među klasjem ga je bilo mnogo koje je već bilo staro, umorno, toliko puno želje za snom. Za dugim, tihim snom bez mjesečine. | Among these grains there were many who were old, weary, wanting so very much to sleep. The long, quiet, moonless sleep. |
| Kosa ga je držala, rasla mu u dlanovima, silila ga da hoda. | The scythe held him, grew into his palms, forced him to walk. |
| Nekako je se, teškom mukom, uspio osloboditi. Bacio ju je na zemlju, otrčao u žito, i tu je zastao i pao na koljena. | Somehow, struggling, he got free of it. He threw it down, ran off into the wheat, where he stopped and went down on his knees. |
| "Ne želim više ubijati", rekao je. "Budem li radio kosom, morat ću ubiti i Molly i djecu. Ne traži to od mene!" | "I don't want to kill anymore," he said. "If I work with the scythe I'll have to kill Molly and the kids. Don't ask me to do that!" |
| Zvijezde su samo stajale na nebu, i sjale. | The stars only sat in the sky, shining. |
| Iza sebe je začuo tupe udarce. | Behind him, he heard a dull, thumping sound. |
| Nešto je iza brijega poletjelo u nebo. Bilo je to kao živo biće, s rukama od crvene boje, što je lizalo zvijezde. Na lice su mu pale iskre. S njima je došao i gust, vreo vonj vatre. | Something shot up over the hill into the sky. It was like a living thing, with arms of red color, licking at the stars. Sparks fell into his face. The thick, hot odor of fire came with it. |
| Kuća! | The house! |
| Kriknuo je, tromo se, beznadno uspravio na noge, i zapiljio u veliku vatru. | Crying out, he got sluggishly, hopelessly, to his feet, looking at the big fire. |
| Bijela kućica sa živim hrastovima sad je urlala u divljem cvijetu vatre. Preko brda se zavaljala vrućina i on je na njoj zaplivao, i spustio se u nju, posrćući, i utapajući se jer mu se sklapala nad glavom. | The little white house with the live oaks was roaring up in one savage bloom of fire. Heat rolled over the hill and he swam in it and went down in it, stumbling, drowning over his head. |
| Dok se spustio s brijega, nije više bilo nijednoga komada šindre, zavrtnja ni praga koji nije oživio vatrom. I stvarala se ona huka pucketanja, huka koja je sve komešala, huka groznih opeklina. | By the time he got down the hill there was not a shingle, bolt or threshold of it that wasn't alive with flame. It made blistering, crackling, fumbling noises. |
| Iznutra nitko nije kriknuo. Nitko nije ni trčao oko nje niti vikao. | No one screamed inside. No one ran around or shouted. |
| Kriknuo je u dvorište: "Molly! Susie! Drew!" | He yelled in the yard. "Molly! Susie! Drew!" |
| I nije dobio odgovor. Trkom se približio toliko da su mu se obrve opalile, a koža mu vrelo zapuzala poput zapaljenoga papira, postajući prhka, i uvijajući se u sitne male uvojčiće. | He got no answer. He ran close in until his eyebrows withered and his skin crawled hot like paper burning, crisping, curling up in tight little curls. |
| "Molly! Susie!" | "Molly! Susie!" |
| Vatra je zadovoljno prionula na jelo. Drew je desetak puta optrčao oko kuće, sasvim sam, pokušavajući naći nekakav ulaz. Onda je sjeo, i vatra mu je pekla tijelo, i čekao da se uvije i posljednji strop, i pokrije pod rastaljenom žbukom i nagorijelim letvama. I sjedio je tako sve dok plamenovi nisu zamrli i plamen se zakašljao, i dok polako nije došao novi dan; i više nije bilo ničega doli žeravnoga pepela i kiselog tinjanja. | The fire settled contentedly down to feed. Drew ran around the house a dozen times, all alone, trying to find a way in. Then he sat where the fire roasted his body and waited until all the walls had sunken down with fluttering crashes, until the last ceiling bent, blanketing the floors with molten plaster and scorched lathing. Until the flames died and smoke coughed up, and the new day came slowly; and there was nothing but embering ashes and an acid smoldering. |
| Ne obazirući se na jaru što je zračila iz okvira, na zemlju oborenih, Drew je zagazio u ruševinu. Još je bilo premračno da bi se moglo puno razabrati. Na oznojenu mu se grlu žarilo crveno svjetlo. Stajao je poput stranca u novoj i drukčijoj zemlji. Tu je - kuhinja. Nagorjeli stolovi, stolci, željezna peć, kredenci. Tu opet - hodnik. Onda dnevna soba i tamo prijeko spavaonica u kojoj... | Disregarding the heat fanning from the leveled frames, Drew walked into the ruin. It was still too dark to see much. Red light glowed on his sweating throat. He stood like a stranger in a new and different land. Here--the kitchen. Charred tables, chairs, the iron stove, the cupboards. Here--the hall. Here the parlor and then over there was the bedroom where-- |
| U kojoj je Molly još bila živa. | Where Molly was still alive. |
| Spavala je usred srušene građe i ljutnjom obojenih komadića žičanih opruga i metala. | She slept among fallen timbers and angry-colored pieces of wire spring and metal. |
| Spavala je kao da se baš ništa nije dogodilo. Sitne su joj bijele šake ležale uz bokove, posute pahuljama iskri. Mirno joj je lice spavalo, dok joj je na obrazu ležala zapaljena letva. | She slept as if nothing had happened. Her small white hands lay at her sides, flaked with sparks. Her calm face slept with a flaming lath across one cheek. |
| Drew je zastao i nije mogao povjerovati. U ruševinama zadimljene spavaonice ona je ležala na svjetlucavu krevetu od iskara, i koža joj je bila nedirnuta, a prsa su joj se dizala, spuštala, hvatala zrak. | Drew stopped and didn't believe it. In the ruin of her smoking bedroom she lay on a glittering bed of sparks, her skin intact, her breast rising, falling, taking air. |
| "Molly!" | "Molly!" |
| Živa i usnula nakon požara, nakon što su se zidovi uz tresak srušili, nakon što se na nju srušio strop i posvuda oko nje oživjela vatra. | Alive and sleeping after the fire, after the walls had roared down, after ceilings had collapsed upon her and flame had lived all about her. |
| Dok se probijao kroz hrpe zadimljenoga krša, zadimile su mu se i cipele. Da mu je spalilo stopala sve do gležanja, ne bi to ni opazio. | His shoes smoked as he pushed through piles of fuming litter. It could have seared his feet off at the ankles, he wouldn't have known. |
| "Molly..." | "Molly. . ." |
| Nadvio se nad nju. Ona se nije ni pomaknula niti ga čula, a nije ni progovorila. Nije bila mrtva. Nije bila ni živa. Samo je ležala tako, okružena vatrom koja je nije ni dotakla, niti joj na ikoji način naudila. Pamučna joj je spavaćica bila isprugana pepelom, ali ne i opaljena. Smeđa joj je kosa bila skupljena kao jastuk na darmaru crveno usijanoga ugljevlja. | He bent over her. She didn't move or hear him, and she didn't speak. She wasn't dead. She wasn't alive. She just lay there with the fire surrounding her and not touching her, not harming her in any way. Her cotton nightgown was streaked with ashes, but not burnt. Her brown hair was pillowed on a tumble of red-hot coals. |
| Dotakao joj je obraz, i bio je hladan, hladan usred pakla. Od sićušnog su joj daha zadrhtale napol nasmiješene usne. | He touched her cheek, and it was cold, cold in the middle of hell. Tiny breaths trembled her half-smiling lips. |
| Tu su bila i djeca. Kroz koprenu je dima razabrao dva manja lika skutrena u pepelu i usnula. Odnio ih je svo troje do ruba žitnoga polja. | The children were there, too. Behind a veil of smoke he made out two smaller figures huddled in the ashes sleeping. He carried all three of them out to the edge of the wheat field. |
| "Molly, Molly, probudi se! Djeco! Djeco, probudite se!" | "Molly. Molly, wake up! Kids! Kids, wake up!" |
| Ona su samo disala, i nisu se micala, i nastavila su spavati. | They breathed and didn't move and went on sleeping. |
| "Djeco, probudite se! Mati vam je..." | "Kids, wake up! Your mother is--" |
| Umrla? Ne, nije umrla. Ali... | Dead? No, not dead. But-- |
| Protresao je djecu kao da su ona tu za nešto kriva. Ona na to nisu obratila nikakvu pažnju; bila su zaokupljena svojim snima. On ih je ponovno spustio i stao nad njih, lica isječena borama. | He shook the kids as if they were to blame. They paid no attention; they were busy with their dreams. He put them back down and stood over them, his face cut with lines. |
| On je znao kako je moguće da su preživjela požar pa i nastavila spavati. Znao je i zašto Molly samo tako leži, bez želje da se ikad više nasmije. | He knew why they'd slept through the fire and continued to sleep now. He knew why Molly just lay there, never wanting to laugh again. |
| Moć žita i kose. | The power of the wheat and the scythe. |
| Njihovi životi, koji su trebali prestati na jučeršnji dan, 3O. svibnja 1938., produžili su se samo zato što on nije htio požnjeti klasove. A trebali su izginuti u požaru. Tako je to trebalo biti. Ali sad, kad se nije poslužio kosom, ništa im nije moglo nauditi. Kuća se zapalila i srušila, no oni su živjeli i dalje, zaglavljeni negdje na pol puta, ni živi ni mrtvi. | Their lives, supposed to end yesterday, May 30th, 1938, had been prolonged simply because he refused to cut the grain. They should have died in the fire. That's the way it was meant to be. But since he had not used the scythe, nothing could hurt them. A house had flamed and fallen and still they lived, caught halfway, not dead, not alive. |
| Već naprosto - u čekanju. A diljem svijeta još tisuće takvih, žrtava nesreća, požara, bolesti, samoubojstava, sad čekaju baš kao što spavaju Molly i njezina djeca. Nesposobni za život, nesposobni za smrt. Samo zato što se neki čovjek boji požnjeti dozrelo klasje. Samo zato što je jedan čovjek pomislio da može prestati mahati kosom i nikad više njom ne raditi. | Simply--waiting. And all over the world thousands more just like them, victims of accidents, fires, disease, suicide, waited, slept just like Molly and her children slept. Not able to die, not able to live. All because a man was afraid of harvesting the ripe grain. All because one man thought he could stop working with a scythe and never work with that scythe again. |
| Spustio je pogled na djecu. Taj se posao morao obavljati svaki dan i svaki dan i nikad se nije smjelo stati, nego ga je trebalo nastavljati, nikad ne praviti stanku, već stalno žnjeti, uvijek i zanavijek i dovijeka. | He looked down upon the children. The job had to be done every day and every day with never a stopping but going on, with never a pause, but always the harvesting, forever and forever and forever. |
| U redu, pomislio je. U redu. Prihvatit ću se kose. | All right, he thought. All right. I'll use the scythe. |
| Od svoje se obitelji nije ni oprostio. Okrenuo se, dok je u njemu polako rastao bijes, pa pronašao kosu i hitro zakoračao, pa udario u kas, pa onda dugim, skakutavim koracima potrčao u polje, obuzet bijesom, osjećajući glad u rukama, dok ga je žito šibalo i mlatilo po nogama. Mlatio je kroza nj, i vikao. I stao. | He didn't say good-by to his family. He turned with a slow-feeding anger and found the scythe and walked rapidly, then he began to trot, then he ran with long jolting strides into the field, raving, feeling the hunger in his arms, as the wheat whipped and flailed his legs. He pounded through it, shouting. He stopped. |
| "Molly!" kriknuo je, pa podigao oštricu i zamahom je spustio. | "Molly!" he cried, and raised the blade and swung it down. |
| "Susie!" kriknuo je. "Drew!" I ponovno zamahom spustio oštricu. | "Susie!" he cried. "Drew!" And swung the blade down again. |
| Netko je vrisnuo. Nije se okrenuo da pogleda požarom uništenu kuću. | Somebody screamed. He didn't turn to look at the fire-ruined house. |
| I tada, divlje jecajući, ponovno se uzdigao nad klasje, i onda opet i opet i opet, obarajući s lijeva na desno i s lijeva na desno. Opet i opet i opet i opet! Odsijecajući goleme brazgotine u zelenom žitu i zrelom žitu, bez biranja i bez hajanja, psujući, pa opet i opet, kunući, smijući se, oštrica se zibala uvis na suncu i padala na suncu sred pjevnoga zvižduka! Dolje! | And then, sobbing wildly, he rose above the grain again and again and hewed to left and right and to left and to right and to left and to right. Over and over and over! Slicing out huge scars in green wheat and ripe wheat, with no selection and no care, cursing, over and over, swearing, laughing, the blade swinging up in the sun and falling in the sun with a singing whistle! Down! |
| Bombe su mrvile London, Moskvu, Tokio. | Bombs shattered London, Moscow, Tokyo. |
| Oštrica je divlje mahala. | The blade swung insanely. |
| U pećima je Belsena i Buchenwalda uhvatila vatra. | And the kilns of Belsen and Buchenwald took fire. |
| Oštrica je pjevala, grimizno mokra. | The blade sang, crimson wet. |
| A gljive su bljuvale slijepa sunca kod White Sandsa, u Hiroshimi, na Bikiniju, i dizale se i probijale se, a onda i na kontinentalnom sibirskom nebu. | And mushrooms vomited out blind suns at White Sands, Hiroshima, Bikini, and up, through, and in continental Siberian skies. |
| Klasje je plakalo zelenom kišom, i padalo. | The grain wept in a green rain, falling. |
| Koreja, Indokina, Egipat, Indija, svi su zadrhtali; Azija se promeškoljila, Afrika se probudila usred noći... | Korea, Indo-China, Egypt, India trembled; Asia stirred, Africa woke in the night. . . . |
| A oštrica se nastavljala dizati, treskati, rasijecati, s gnjevom i bijesom čovjeka koji je izgubio i izgubio toliko da ga više nije briga što čini svijetu. Tek nekoliko kratkih milja daleko od glavne autoceste, niz grubu zemljanu oputinu što ne vodi baš nikamo, tek nekoliko kratkih milja od autoceste zakrčene prometom što je tekao prema Californiji. | And the blade went on rising, crashing, severing, with the fury and the rage of a man who has lost and lost so much that he no longer cares what he does to the world. Just a few short miles off the main highway, down a rough dirt road that leads to nowhere, just a few short miles from a highway jammed with traffic bound for California. |
| S vremena na vrijeme u dugim godinama s glavne autoceste zna skrenuti kakva krntija, pa se zaustaviti, pareći iz hladnjaka, pred nagorjelim ruševinama bijele kućice na kraju zemljanoga puta, i onda njen vozač zna zapitati za put farmera što ga je ugledao s druge strane, čovjeka što radi manijački, divlje, nikad ne zastajući, danju i noću, u beskrajnom žitnomu polju. | Once in a while during the long years a jalopy gets off the main highway, pulls up steaming in front of the charred ruin of a little white house at the end of the dirt road, to ask instructions from the farmer they see just beyond, the one who works insanely, wildly, without ever stopping, night and day, in the endless fields of wheat. |
| Ali takvi ne dočekaju ni pomoć ni odgovora. Farmer u polju odveć je zaposlen, čak i nakon tolikih godina; preposlen odsijecanjem i košenjem zelenog umjesto dozreloga žita. | But they get no help and no answer. The farmer in the field is too busy, even after all these years; too busy slashing and chopping the green wheat instead of the ripe. |
| A Drew Erickson kreće se dalje sa svojom kosom, sa svjetlom slijepih sunaca i bijelom vatrom u očima što nikad ne spavaju, kreće se sve dalje, i dalje, i dalje... | And Drew Erickson moves on with his scythe, with the light of blind suns and a look of white fire in his never-sleeping eyes, on and on and on. . . . |