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| PUTNIK | The Traveller |
| Otac je pred samu zoru pogledao u Cecynu sobu. Ležala je na krevetu. Zavrtio je glavom od neshvaćanja i odmahnuo rukom. | FATHER looked into Cecy's room just before dawn. She lay upon her bed. He shook his head uncomprehendingly and waved at her. |
| "I sad, kad bi mi netko znao reći kakva korist od nje i njezina izležavanja", rekao je, "pojeo bih krep iz svog mahagonijskog sanduka. Najprije po čitavu noć spava, onda doručkuje, a onda se opet izvrne i tako čitav dan." | 'Now, if you can tell me what good she does, lying there,' he said, 'I'll eat the crêpe on my mahogany box. Sleeping all night, eating breakfast, and then lying on top her bed all day.' |
| "O, ali je tako uslužna", objasnila je majka i odvela ga kroz hodnik od Cecyna usnulog i blijedog tijela. "Mislim, ona je jedan od najprilježnijih članova Obitelji. Kakva korist od tvoje braće? I oni uglavnom povazdan spavaju i ne rade apsolutno ništa. A Cecy je bar aktivna." | 'Oh, but she's so helpful,' explained Mother, leading him down the hall away from Cecy's slumbering pale figure. 'Why, she's one of the most adjustable members of the Family. What good are your brothers? Most of them sleep all day and do nothing. At least Cecy is active.' |
| Sišli su niza stube kroz miomiris crnih svijeća; dok su prolazili, čuli su šapat crnoga krepa na ogradi, krepa koji je tu nedirnut stajao sve od svečanog obiteljskog sijela, prije nekoliko mjeseci. Otac je iscrpljeno razvezao kravatu. "No dobro, mi smo noćna smjena", rekao je. "I što mi tu možemo ako smo - kako si kazala - pomalo staromodni?" | They went downstairs through the scent of black candles; the black crêpe on the banister, left over from the Homecoming some months ago and untouched, whispering as they passed. Father unloosened his tie, exhaustedly. 'Well, we work nights,' he said. 'Can we help it if we're — as you put it — old-fashioned?' |
| "Naravno, ništa. Ne mogu svi u Obitelji biti moderni." Otvorila je vrata podruma; krenuli su u tamu držeći se pod ruku. Pogledala mu je u okruglo bijelo lice, i nasmiješila se. "Prava je sreća što ja uopće ne moram spavati. Da si se oženio noćnom spavačicom, zamisli kako bi taj brak izgledao! Svaki na svoju stranu. Ni po čemu isti. Sve podivljalo. Tako je to u Obitelji. Pokatkad dobijemo nekog poput Cecy, koja je čisti um; ili opet drugog, kao strica Einara, koji je sav kao vjetar; a onda opet dobijemo nekoga kao Timothy, koji je sav miran, hladan i normalan. A onda si tu i ti, koji danju spavaš. I onda ja, budna i budna i tako čitav život. I zato ti ne bi smjelo biti teško shvatiti Cecy. Ona mi svakodnevno pomaže na milijun načina. Ona svoj um pošalje dolje, piljaru, da vidi što mi to prodaje. I stavlja svoj um u mesara. Koliko mi to prištedi hodanja kad ostane bez boljih komada! Upozorava me kakve mi se tračbabe spremaju u pohode, da mi svojim brbljarijama odnesu popodne. A tu je, naravno, i još šest stotina drugih stvari..!" | 'Of course not. Everyone in the Family can't be modern.' She opened the cellar door; they moved down into darkness arm in arm. She looked over at his round white face, smiling. 'It's really very lucky I don't have to sleep at all. If you were married to a night-sleeper, think what a marriage it would be! Each of us to our own. None of us the same. All wild. That's how the Family goes. Sometimes we get one like Cecy, all mind; and then there are those like Uncle Einar, all wing; and then again we have one like Timothy, all even and calm and normal. Then there's you, sleeping days. And me, awake all and all of my life. So Cecy shouldn't be too much for you to understand. She helps me a million ways each day. She sends her mind down to the greengrocers for me, to see what he sells. She puts her mind inside the butcher. That saves me a long trip if he's fresh out of good cuts. She warns me when gossips are coming to visit and talk away the afternoon. And, well, there are six hundred other things — !' |
| Zastali su u podrumu, kraj velikog praznog mahagonijskog sanduka. On se smjestio u nj, no ona ga ipak nije uspjela uvjeriti. "Ali kad bi bar malo više pridonosila zajednici", rekao je. "Bojim se da ću je morati zamoliti da potraži nekakav posao." | They paused in the cellar near a large empty mahogany box. He settled himself into it, still not convinced. 'But if she'd only contribute more,' he said. 'I'm afraid I'll have to ask her to find some sort of work.' |
| "Prespavaj to", odgovorila mu je ona. "Promisli još jednom. Do smiraja se možda i predomisliš." | 'Sleep on it,' she said to him. 'Think it over. You may change your mind by sunset.' |
| Već je nad njima zatvarala poklopac. "Dobro", rekao je on zamišljeno. Poklopac se zatvorio. | She was closing the lid down on him. 'Well,' he said, thoughtfully. The lid closed. |
| "Dobro jutro, dragi", rekla je ona. | 'Good morning, dear,' she said. |
| "Dobro jutro", odgovorio je prigušeno, iz zatvorenoga prostora, iz sanduka. Sunce se diglo. Ona je požurila gore, prirediti doručak. | 'Good morning,' he said, muffled, enclosed, within the box. The sun rose. She hurried upstairs to make breakfast. |
| Cecy Elliott je bila ta koja je Putovala. Na izgled je to bila obična osamnaestgodišnjakinja. Ali molim, baš nitko u Obitelji nije izgledao baš sasvim kao ono što je uistinu bio. Nije među njima bilo ni čaporaka, ni gadosti, ni crvi ni gnusnih coprnica. Živjeli su oni po gradićima i farmama diljem svijeta, život jednostavan, i pritom vrlo brzo mijenjali svoje talente i prilagođavali ih zahtjevima i zakonima promjenjivoga svijeta. Cecy Elliott se probudila. Prolebdjela je kroz kuću, sve zujeći. | Cecy Elliott was the one who Travelled. She seemed an ordinary eighteen-year-old. But then none of the Family looked like what they were. There was naught of the fang, the foul, the worm or wind-witch to them. They lived in small towns and on farms across the world, simply, closely re-aligning and adapting their talents to the demands and laws of a changing world. Cecy Elliott awoke. She glided down through the house, humming. |
| "Dobro jutro, majko!" Sišla je u podrum da tu još jednom provjeri sve velike mahagonijske sanduke redom, da s njih obriše prašinu, uvjeri se da su hermetički i čvrsto zatvoreni. "Otac", rekla je lašteći jedan sanduk. "Sestrična Esther", rekla je dok je pregledavala drugi, "tu u gostima. I..." - pokucala je po trećem: "Djed Elliott." Iznutra je nešto zašuškalo, kao da se gužva list papirusa. "Kakva čudna obitelj križanaca", razmišljala je dok se vraćala u kuhinju. "Noćni sifonjeri i kanaloplovci, neki budni, kao, recimo, majka, dvadeset pet sati na dan; neki opet, kao ja, od šezdeset minuta prespavaju pedeset devet. Različite vrste sna." | 'Good morning, Mother!' She walked down to the cellar to re-check each of the large mahogany boxes, to dust them, to be certain each was tightly sealed. 'Father,' she said, polishing one box. 'Cousin Esther,' she said, examining another, 'here on a visit. And — ' she rapped at a third, 'Grandfather Elliott.' There was a rustle inside like a piece of papyrus. 'It's a strange, cross-bred family,' she mused, climbing to the kitchen again. 'Night siphoners and flume-fearers, some awake, like Mother, twenty-five hours out of twenty-four; some asleep, like me, fifty-nine minutes out of sixty. Different species of sleep.' |
| Doručkovala je. Usred kompota od kajsija, opazila je majčin pogled. Spustila je žlicu. Onda je Cecy rekla: "Otac će se predomisliti. Ja ću mu pokazati kako je lijepo imati me u kući. Ja sam obiteljska polica osiguranja; on to ne razumije. Samo čekaj, pa ćeš vidjeti." | She ate breakfast. In the middle of her apricot dish she saw her mother's stare. She laid the spoon down. Cecy said, 'Father'll change his mind. I'll show him how fine I can be to have around. I'm family insurance; he doesn't understand. You wait.' |
| Našto je majka rekla: "Bila si u meni maločas, kad sam se prepirala s ocem?" | Mother said, 'You were inside me awhile ago when I argued with Father?' |
| "Da." | 'Yes.' |
| "Učinilo mi se da gledaš kroz moje oči", rekla je majka i kimnula glavom. | 'I thought I felt you looking out my eyes,' the mother nodded. |
| Cecy je dovršila doručak i pošla u krevet. Razgrnula je pokrivače i čiste hladne plahte, pa legla na posteljinu, zatvorila oči, položila tanke bijele prste na male grudi, pa kimnula lomnom, rafinirano modeliranom glavom i položila je na gusto skupljenu kestenastu kosu. | Cecy finished and went up to bed. She folded down the blankets and clean cool sheets, then laid herself out atop the covers, shut her eyes, rested her thin white fingers on her small bosom, nodded her slight, exquisitely sculptured head back against her thick gathering of chestnut hair. |
| I krenula na Put. | She started to Travel. |
| Um joj je kliznuo iz sobe, prešao cvjetnu okućnicu, preletio preko polja, zelenih bregova, preko drevnih snenih ulica Mellin Towna, ušao u vjetar i bio prenešen preko vlažnog uleknuća dubokoga klanca. Po čitav će dan tako letjeti i vrludati. Njen će um uskakivati u pse, u njima odsijedati, i osjećati njihova čekinjava tijela, kušati zrele kosti, njušiti prodorno pomokreno drveće. Slušat će onako kako pas čuje. I sasvim će zaboraviti na ljudsku konstrukciju. Dobit će pseći stas. To je više od telepatije, kroz jednu cijev gore, kroz drugu dolje. Bilo je to potpuno odjeljivanje od jednog tjelesnog okoliša i ulazak u drugi. Bilo je to ulaženje u pse koji njuškaju stabla, u muškarce, stare djevice, ptice, djecu što se igraju školice, ljubavnike u njihovim jutarnjim posteljama, u radnike oznojene od kopanja, u nerođene bebe, u njihov ružičasti, snovito sitan mozak. | Her mind slipped from the room, over the flowered yard, the fields, the green hills, over the ancient drowsy streets of Mellin Town, into the wind and past the moist depression of the ravine. All day she would fly and meander. Her mind would pop into dogs, sit there, and she would feel the bristly feels of dogs, taste ripe bones, sniff tangy-urined trees. She'd hear as a dog heard. She forgot human construction completely. She'd have a dog frame. It was more than telepathy, up one flue and down another. This was complete separation from one body environment into another. It was entrance into tree-nozzling dogs, men, old maids, birds, children at hopscotch, lovers on their morning beds, into workers asweat with shovelling, into unborn babies pink, dream-small brains. |
| Kamo će danas? Odlučila je, i pošla! | Where would she go today? She made her decision, and went! |
| Kad se njena mati trenutak potom došuljala na prstima i povirila u sobu, vidjela je na krevetu Cecyno tijelo, ali se prsa nisu micala, a lice je bilo mirno. Cecy je već otišla. Mati je kimnula glavom i nasmiješila se. | When her mother tiptoed a moment later to peek into the room, she saw Cecy's body on the bed, the chest not moving, the face quiet. Cecy was gone already. Mother nodded and smiled. |
| Prošlo je jutro. Leonard, Bion i Sam pošli su na posao, baš kao i Laura i njena sestra manikirka; Timothyja su pak poslali u školu. Kuća je utihnula. U podne su jedini zvuk stvarale tri mlade Cecyne sestrične koje su se iza kuće igrale ringe-ringe-banja, pun podrum lubanja. Po kući su se uvijek motali i kojekakvi dodatni bratići, ujaci, pranećaci i noćne nećakinje; stalno su dolazili i odlazili: voda što iz pipe teče u ispust. | The morning passed. Leonard, Bion and Sam went off to their work, as did Laura and the manicuring sister; and Timothy was dispatched to school. The house quieted. At noon time the only sound was made by Cecy Elliott's three young girl-cousins playing Tisket Tasket Coffin Casket in the back yard. There were always extra cousins or uncles or grand-nephews and night-nieces about the place; they came and went; water out a tap down a drain. |
| Sestričnice su, međutim, svoju igru prekinule u trenutku kad je na ulazna vrata glasno zalupao visok i bučan muškarac, da bi mu ih potom majka otvorila, i on smjesta zagazio kroz njih. | The cousins stopped their play when the tall loud man banged on the front door and marched straight in when Mother answered. |
| "To je stric Jonn!" rekla je najmanja djevojčica, sva bez daha. | 'That was Uncle Jonn!' said the littlest girl, breathless. |
| "Onaj koga mrzimo?" upitala je druga. | 'The one we hate?' asked the second. |
| "Što hoće?" uskliknula je treća. "Kao da se nešto ljuti!" | 'What's he want?' cried the third. 'He looked mad!' |
| "Mi se ljutimo na njega, ako već hoćeš znati", objasnila je druga gordo. "Zbog svega što je učinio Obitelji prije šezdeset i sedamdeset i dvadeset godina." | 'We're mad at him, that's what,' explained the second, proudly. 'For what he did to the Family sixty years ago, and seventy years ago and twenty years ago.' |
| "Slušajte!" Poslušale su. "Otrčao je gore!" | 'Listen!' They listened. 'He's run upstairs!' |
| "Kao da plače." | 'Sounds like he's cryin'.' |
| "Zar i odrasli plaču?" | 'Do grown-ups cry?' |
| "Naravno, glupačo!" | 'Sure, silly!' |
| "Eno ga u Cecynoj sobi! Viče. Smije se. Moli. Plače. On je ljut, i tužan, i drhti od straha kao miš, sve skupa!" | 'He's in Cecy's room! Shoutin'. Laughin'. Prayin'. Cryin'. He sounds mad, and sad, and ‘fraidy-cat, all together!' |
| Sad su onoj najmanjoj pošle suze. Potrčala je do podrumskih vrata. "Probudite se! O, vi dolje, probudite se! Vi u sanducima! Došao je stric Jonn, i možda sa sobom ima glogov kolac! Neću da mi ga zabije u prsa! Probudite se!" | The littlest one made tears, herself. She ran to the cellar door. 'Wake up! Oh, down there, wake up! You in the boxes! Uncle Jonn's here and he might have a cedar stake with him! I don't want a cedar stake in my chest! Wake up!' |
| "Psss!" zapsikala je najkrupnija curica. "On nema kolac! A usandučene i tako ne možeš probuditi. Slušaj!" | 'Shh,' hissed the biggest girl. 'He hasn't a stake! You can't wake the Boxed People, anyhow. Listen!' |
| Glave su im se nakrivile, a oči zablistale okrenuvši se gore, pune očekivanja. | Their heads tilted, their eyes glistened upwards, waiting. |
| "Silazi s kreveta!" zapovjedila je majka, stojeći u vratima. Stric Jonn se nadvio nad Cecyno usnulo tijelo. Usne su mu se izobličile. A zelene su mu se oči izoštrile nekako divlje, samrtnički i poludjelo. | 'Get off the bed!' commanded Mother, in the doorway. Uncle Jonn bent over Cecy's slumbering body. His lips were misshaped. There was a wild, fey and maddened focus to his green eyes. |
| "Jesam li zakasnio?" upitao je promuklim glasom i jecajući. "Je li već otišla?" | 'Am I too late?' he demanded, hoarsely, sobbing. 'Is she gone?' |
| "Prije nekoliko sati!" oštro je odrezala majka. "Jesi slijep? Možda se ne vrati danima. Pokatkad leži tako i po čitav tjedan. I ne moram joj hraniti tijelo, jer sve što joj treba crpi iz toga u čemu ili u kojem jest. Miči se od nje!" | 'Hours ago!' snapped Mother. 'Are you blind? She might not be back for days. Sometimes she lies there a week. I don't have to feed the body, she finds sustenance from whatever or whoever she's in. Get away from her!' |
| Stric Jonn je šmrcnuo, jednim koljenom pritišćući opruge. "Zar nije mogla malo pričekati?" želio je on znati, grozničavo, dok ju je gledao, a ruke mu stalno isponova opipavale njen zanijemjeli puls. | Uncle Jonn stiffened, one knee pressed on the springs. 'Why couldn't she wait?' he wanted to know, frantically, looking at her, his hands feeling her silent pulse again and again. |
| "Čuo si što sam ti rekla!" Mati je odsječno krenula prema njemu. "Nju se sad ne smije dirati. Treba je ostaviti takvu kakva jest. Tako da, kad se vrati kući, može u tijelo ući baš točno kako treba." | 'You heard me!' Mother moved forward curtly. 'She's not to be touched. She's got to be left as she is. So if she comes home she can get back in her body exactly right.' |
| Stric Jonn je okrenuo glavu. Dugačko mu je i tvrdo lice bilo boginjavo i lišeno osjeta, a duboke su se crne brazde jatile oko umornih očiju. | Uncle Jonn turned his head. His long hard red face was pocked and senseless, deep black grooves crowded the tired eyes. |
| "Kamo je otišla? Moram je naći." | 'Where'd she go? I've got to find her.' |
| Majka je govorila kao da ga pljuska. "Pojma nemam. Ali ima ona neka svoja omiljena mjesta. Možda je nađeš u djetetu što trči stazom u klancu. Ili se njiše na lozi. A možda je nađeš i u raku što čuči pod kamenom u potoku i samo te gleda. A možda i igra šah iz nekog starca na trgu pred sudnicom. Znaš baš kao i ja da može biti baš svugdje." Na majčine se usne spustio iskrivljen izraz. "Možda je sad uspravljena u meni, pa te gleda iz mene, smije ti se, a neće ti reći. Možda to ona govori i krasno se zabavlja. A da ti to ni ne znaš." | Mother talked like a slap in the face. 'I don't know. She has favourite places. You might find her in a child running along a trail in the ravine. Or swinging on a grape vine. Or you might find her in a crayfish under a rock in the creek, looking up at you. Of she might be playing chess inside an old man in the court-house square. You know as well as I she can be anywhere.' A wry look came to Mother's mouth. 'She might be vertical inside me now, looking out at you, laughing, and not telling you. This might be her talking and having fun. And you wouldn't know it.' |
| "Pa mislim..." Teško se zavrtio, kao golema gromada na stožeru. Krupne su mu se šake podigle, kao da žele nešto zgabiti. "Kad bih samo pomislio..." | 'Why — ' He swung heavily around, like a huge pivoted boulder. His big hands came up, wanting to grab something. 'If I thought — ' |
| Majka je nastavila, tako ležerno mirna. "Ona, naravno, nije sada u meni. Ali da jest, tko bi to mogao znati?" Oči su joj zasjale rafiniranom zlobom. Stajala je tako, visoka i graciozna, i gledala ga bez trunke straha. "A sad, pretpostavimo da mi ispričaš što će ti ona?" | Mother talked on, casual quiet. 'Of course she's not in me, here. And if she was there'd be no way to tell.' Her eyes gleamed with a delicate malice. She stood tall and graceful looking upon him with no fear. 'Now, suppose you explain what you want with her?' |
| On kao da je osluškivao udaranje nekog dalekog zvona. Zatresao je glavu, ljutito, ne bi li je pročistio. Pa zarežao. "Nešto... u meni..." Prekinuo se. Nagnuo se nad hladno, usnulo tijelo. "Cecy! Vrati se, čuješ! Ako hoćeš, možeš se vratiti!" | He seemed to be listening to a distant bell, tolling. He shook his head, angrily, to clear it. Then he growled. 'Something. . . inside me. . .' He broke off. He leaned over the cold, sleeping body. 'Cecy! come back, you hear! You can come back if you want!' |
| Kroz visoke vrbe pod prozorima koje je zapljuskivalo sunce tiho je pimuo vjetar. Njegova se težina pomaknula, i krevet je zaškripao. U daljini se ponovno oglasilo zvono, i on ga je oslušno, ali ga majka nije čula. Samo on je čuo njegovo dremljivo ljetno glasanje, iz velike, velike daljine. Usta su mu se nerazgovjetno otvorila: | The wind blew softly through the high willows outside the sun-drifted windows. The bed creaked under his shifted weight. The distant bell tolled again and he was listening to it, but Mother could not hear it. Only he heard the drowsy summerday sounds of it, far far away. His mouth opened obscurely: |
| "Trebala bi mi nešto obaviti. Od prošlog mjeseca kao da nekako - ludim. Svašta mi pada na um. Mislio sam sjesti na vlak i odvesti se u veliki grad i porazgovarati s psihijatrom, ali mi on ne bi mogao pomoći. A znam da bi mi Cecy mogla ući u glavu i istjerati te demone straha što mi se u njoj roje. Ona ih može sve posisati kao usisavač za prašinu, samo ako mi hoće pomoći. Ona je jedina koja može ostrugati svu tu prljavštinu i skinuti svu tu paučinu i iz mene stvoriti novoga čovjeka. Eto zašto mi treba, je li ti sad jasno?" rekao je napetim glasom punim nade. Liznuo je usne. "Ona mi mora pomoći!" | 'I've a thing for her to do to me. For the past month I've been kind of going — insane. I get funny thoughts. I was going to take a train to the big city and talk to a psychiatrist but he wouldn't help. I know that Cecy can enter my head and exorcize those fears I have. She can suck them out like a vacuum cleaner, if she wants to help me. She's the only one who can scrape away the filth and cobwebs and make me new again. That's why I need her, you understand?' he said, in a tight, expectant voice. He licked his lips. 'She's got to help me!' |
| "Nakon svega što si učinio Obitelji?" upitala je majka. | 'After all you've done to the Family?' said Mother. |
| "Ma što sam joj ja to učinio?!" | 'I did nothing to the Family!' |
| "Kruži priča", rekla je majka, "da si u zla vremena, kad ti je trebao novac, za sto dolara prokazao policiji sve one iz Obitelji kojima treba kroz srce protjerati kolac." | 'The story goes,' said Mother, 'that in bad times, when you needed money, you were paid a hundred dollars for each of the Family you pointed out to the law to be staked through the heart.' |
| "To nije pošteno!" rekao je i zaljuljao se kao čovjek pogođen u želudac. 'Ti to ne možeš ničim dokazati. Ti lažeš!" | 'That's unfair!' he said, wavering like a man hit in the stomach. 'You can't prove that. You lie!' |
| "No, bez obzira na sve to, ipak ne mislim da bi ti Cecy htjela pomoći. Obitelji to ne bi bilo po volji." | 'Nevertheless, I don't think Cecy'd want to help you. The Family wouldn't want it.' |
| "Obitelji, Obitelji!" zalupao je nogama o pod poput golemog, brutalnog djeteta. "Dođavola i Obitelj! Pa ne mislim zbog njih poludjeti! Potrebna mi je pomoć, vrag neka je nosi, i nju ću i dobiti!" | 'Family, Family!' He stomped the floor like a huge, brutal child. 'Damn the Family! I won't go insane on their account! I need help, God damn it, and I'll get it!' |
| Majka mu je pogledala u oči; lice joj je bilo rezervirano, a ruke prekrižene na prsima. | Mother faced him, her face reserved, her hands crossed over her bosom. |
| On je spustio glas, i pogledao je s nekakvom zlom plahošću, izbjegavajući njen pogled. "A sad me poslušaj, gospođo Elliott", rekao je. "A i ti, Cecy", rekao je spavačici. "Ako si tu", dodao je. "Poslušaj ovo." Pogledao je na zidni sat što je kuckao na suprotnom, suncem promočenom zidu. "Ako se Cecy ne vrati ovamo do šest u noći, spremna da mi pomogne pročistiti um i spasiti me od ludila, ja... ja ću otići na policiju." Visoko se uspravio. "Imam popis svih Elliottovih koji žive na farmama oko Mellin Towna, kao i onih koji žive u njemu. A policija za jedan sat može nasjeći dovoljno glogovih kolaca da ih protjera kroz čitavo tuce Elliottovih srdaca." Zastao je, pa otro znoj s lica. Stajao je tako, i osluškivao. | He lowered his voice, looking at her with a kind of evil shyness, not meeting her eyes. 'Listen to me, Mrs. Elliott,' he said. 'And you, too, Cecy,' he said to the sleeper. 'If you're there,' he added. 'Listen to this.' He looked at the wall clock ticking on the far, sun-drenched wall. 'If Cecy isn't back here by six o'clock tonight, ready to help clean out my mind and make me sane, I'll — I'll go to the police.' He drew himself up. 'I've got a list of Elliotts who live on farms all around and inside Mellin Town. The police can cut enough new cedar stakes in an hour to drive through a dozen Elliott hearts.' He stopped, wiped the sweat off his face. He stood, listening. |
| Daleko se zvono oglasilo ponovno. | The distant bell began to toll again. |
| Slušao ga je već danima. Nije bilo nikakvoga zvona, no on ga je ipak čuo kako zvoni. Zvonilo je sad, blizu, daleko, pokraj njega, u daljini. Nitko ga drugi osim njega nije mogao čuti. | He had heard it for days. There was no bell, but he could hear it ringing. It rang now, near, far, close, away. Nobody else could hear it save himself. |
| Zatresao je glavom. I onda se zaderao da nadglasa zvuk tih zvona, zaderao na gospođu Elliott. "Jesi me čula?" | He shook his head. He shouted to cover the sound of those bells, shouted at Mrs. Elliott. 'You heard me?' |
| Trznuo je uvis hlače, trzajem stegnuo kopču na remenu, i kraj majke pošao do vrata. | He hitched up his trousers, tightened the buckle clasp with a jerk, walked past Mother to the door. |
| "Da", rekla je. "Čula sam. Ali čak ni ja ne mogu dozvati Cecy ako sama ne želi doći. Ali na koncu će se ipak vratiti. Nemoj odmah trčati na policiju..." | 'Yes,' she said. 'I heard. But even I can't call Cecy back if she doesn't want to come. She'll arrive eventually. Be patient. Don't go running off to the police — ' |
| On ju je presjekao. "Ne mogu više čekati. Taj moj jad, ta buka u glavi traje već osam tjedana! Ne mogu to više izdržati!" Namrštio se na sat. "Ja sad idem. Pokušat ću je naći u gradu. Ako je ne nađem do šest... onda molim, i sama znaš kako izgleda glogov kolac..." | He cut her. 'I can't wait. This thing of mine, this noise in my head's gone on eight weeks now! I can't stand it much longer!' He scowled at the clock. 'I'm going. I'll try to find Cecy in town. If I don't get her by six — well, you know what a cedar stake's like. . .' |
| Teške su se bakandže uz tešku lupu udaljile hodnikom, pa zamrle na putu niza stube, pa iz kuće. Kad se buka posve izgubila, majka se okrenula i pogledala zabrinuto, bolno, usnulu djevojku. | His heavy shoes pounded away down the hall, fading down the stairs, out of the house. When the noises were all gone, the mother turned and looked, earnestly, painfully, down upon the sleeper. |
| "Cecy", zazvala je tiho, ali odlučno. "Cecy, vrati se kući!" | 'Cecy,' she called, softly, insistently. 'Cecy, come home!' |
| Od tijela ni riječi. Cecy je ležala tako, nepokretna, svo vrijeme dok je majka nad njom bdjela. | There was no word from the body. Cecy lay there, not moving, for as long as her mother waited. |
| Stric Jonn je prošao kroz svjež, otvoren krajolik i našao se na ulicama Mellin Towna, pa počeo tražiti Cecy u svakom djetetu što je lizalo sladoled i u svakom bijelom psiću što bi tapkao na svom putu prema žarko žuđenu ničemu. | Uncle Jonn walked through the fresh open country and into the streets of Mellin Town, looking for Cecy in every child that licked an ice-pop and in every little white dog that padded by on its way to some eagerly anticipated nowhere. |
| Grad se pred njim širio poput kakvog fantastičnog groblja. Iako je spomenika zapravo bilo jako malo - bile su to zgrade u slavu bivše umjetnosti i plod razbibrige. Bila je to velika livada s brijestovima i himalajskim cedrovima i kalifomijskim borovima, a na nju su bili položeni drveni nogostupi koje si noću, ako bi te nervirali koraci prolaznika, mogao odvući u hambar. Bile su tu visoke usidjeličke kuće, mršave i uske i mudro beskrvne, i na njima očale od obojenoga stakla, a na njima se dizala prorijeđena zlatna kosa izniklih pradrevnih ptičjih gnijezda. | The town spread out like a fancy graveyard. Nothing more than a few monuments, really — edifices to lost arts and pastimes. It was a great meadow of elms and deodars and hackmatack trees, laid out with wooden walks you could haul into your barn at night if the hollow sound of walking people irked you. There were tall old maiden houses, lean and narrow and wisely wan, in which were spectacles of coloured glass, upon which the thinned golden hair of age-old bird nests sprouted. |
| Bila je tu i drogerija puna žičanih barskih stolaca sa sjedalicom od šperploče, kakve se nalaze uz automate sa sodom, i ispunjena nezaboravnim bistrim oštrim mirisom kakav bi trebao postojati u drogerijama, ali ga više nema. A bila je tu i brijačka veletržnica, i pred njom stup s usukanom crvenom trakom, stup koji se vrtio u staklenoj čahuri. A bila je tu i piljarnica puna sjena negdašnjega voća i prašnjavih gajbi i mirisa stare Amerikanke, ponešto slična smradu zahrđala penija. Grad je ležao pod krošnjama himalajskoga cedra i drveća sočnoga lišća, a negdje u tom gradu bila je Cecy, ona što Putuje. | There was a drug shop full of quaint wire-rung soda fountain stools with plywood bottoms, and the memorious clear sharp odour that used to be in drug stores but never is any more. And there was a barber emporium with a red-ribboned pillar twisting around inside a chrysalis of glass in front of it. And there was a grocery that was all fruity shadow and dusty boxes and the smell of an old Armenian woman, which was like the odour of a rusty penny. The town lay under the deodar and mellow-leaf trees, in no hurry, and somewhere in the town was Cecy, the one who Travelled. |
| Stric Jonn je zastao, kupio si bocu Orange Crusha, ispio je, otro lice maramicom, a oči su mu zaskakutale gore-dolje poput djetešca što preskače konop. Ja se bojim, pomislio je. Ja se bojim. | Uncle Jonn stopped, bought himself a bottle of Orange Crush, drank it, wiped his face with his handkerchief, his eyes jumping up and down, like little kids skipping rope. I'm afraid, he thought. I'm afraid. |
| Opazio je šifru ptica razvučenu u crtice i točkice na visokim telegrafskim žicama. Je li Cecy sada gore pa mu se smije kroz oštre ptičje oči, i čisti perje i cvrkuće mu u brk? Posumnjao je u onog Indijanca u trafici. Pa ipak, u tom hladnom, izrezbarenom, duhanski smeđem liku nije bilo nikakva pokreta. | He saw a code of birds strung dot-dash on the high telephone wires. Was Cecy up there laughing at him out of sharp bird eyes, shuffling her feathers, singing at him? He suspicioned the cigar store Indian. But there was no animation in that cold, carved, tobacco-brown image. |
| Negdje iz daljine, kao u sanjivo nedjeljno jutro, začuo je zvonjavu zvona u dolini svoje glave. Bio je slijep kao šišmiš. Stajao je u potpunoj crnini. Bijela, izmučena lica plovila su kroz njegovo vidno polje, izvmuto prema unutra. | Distantly, like on a sleepy Sunday morning, he heard the bells ringing in a valley of his head. He was stone blind. He stood in blackness. White, tortured faces drifted through his inturned vision. |
| "Cecy!" kriknuo je svima i svuda. "Znam da mi ti možeš pomoći! Protresi me kao stablo! Cecy!" | 'Cecy!' he cried, to everything, everywhere. 'I know you can help me! Shake me like a tree! Cecy!' |
| Onda je sljepilo prošlo. Kupao se u hladnom znoju koji nikako da prođe, i koji se cijedio kao sirup. | The blindness passed. He was bathed in a cold sweating that didn't stop, but ran like a syrup. |
| "Znam da mi možeš pomoći", rekao je. "Vidio sam kako si prije mnogo godina pomogla rodici Marianne. Prije deset godina, je li tako?" Stajao je tako, i pokušavao se sabrati. | 'I know you can help,' he said. 'I saw you help Cousin Marianne years ago. Ten years ago, wasn't it?' He stood, concentrating. |
| Marianne je bila djevojka bojažljiva kao krtica, a na okrugloj joj je glavi kosa bila frčlava kao korijenje. Marriane je u svojoj haljini visjela poput jezička u zvonu, pa ipak u hodu nikad ne bi zvonila; samo bi tako, kao nećkajući se, išla dalje, sve nogu pred nogu. Stalno bi gledala u travu i pločnik pod nožnim prstima, a ako bi te uopće gledala, gledala bi te u bradu - nikad se ne odvažujući dosegnuti do očiju. Mati joj je očajavala, uvjerena da se Marianne nikad neće ni udati ni uspjeti u životu. | Marianne had been a girl shy as a mole, her hair twisted like roots on her round ball of head. Marianne had hung in her skirt like a clapper in a bell, never ringing when she walked; just swithering along, one heel after another. She gazed at weeds and the sidewalk under her toes, she looked at your chin if she saw you at all — and never got as far as your eyes. Her mother despaired of Marianne's ever marrying or succeeding. |
| Sve je, dakle, ovisilo o Cecy. A Cecy je ušla u Marianne kao ruka u rukavicu. | It was up to Cecy, then. Cecy went into Marianne like fist into glove. |
| Marianne je skakala, trčala, vriskala, bljeskala žutim okom. Marianne je bljeskala suknjicom, rasplitala kose i puštala ih da vise, poput kakva svjetlucava vela, preko polugolih ramena. Marianne je hihotala i zvonila poput veselog jezička u premarljivu zvonu svoje odjeće. Marianne je stiskala lice u mnoge izraze čednosti, veselja, inteligencije, materinskoga blaženstva i ljubavi. | Marianne jumped, ran, yelled, glinted her yellow eyes. Marianne flickered her skirts, unbraided her hair and let it hang in a shimmery veil on her half-nude shoulders. Marianne giggled and rang like a gay clapper in the tolling bell of her dress. Marianne squeezed her face into many attitudes of coyness, merriment, intelligence, maternal bliss, and love. |
| Dečki su za njom počeli trčati. Marianne se udala. | The boys raced after Marianne. Marianne got married. |
| Cecy se povukla. | Cecy withdrew. |
| Marianne je dobila histeriju; ostala je bez kičme! | Marianne had hysterics; her spine was gone! |
| Čitav je dan ostala ležati poput mlitava korzeta. Pa ipak je u nju već bila ušla navika. Nešto je od Cecy ipak ostalo, poput fosilnoga otiska u mekome škriljcu; i sad je Marianne počela istraživati svoje navike i razmišljati o njima i prisjećati se kako je to bilo kad je u sebi imala Cecy, i nije prošlo dugo, i već je sasvim sama i trčala, i vikala i hihotala; bio je to korzet pokrenut sjećanjima! | She lay like a limp corset all one day. But the habit was in her now. Some of Cecy had stayed on like a fossil imprint on soft shale rock; and Marianne began tracing the habits and thinking them over and remembering what it was like to have Cecy inside her, and pretty soon she was running and shouting and giggling all by herself; a corset animated, as it were, by a memory! |
| I poslije toga je Marianne bila sretna. | Marianne had lived joyously thereafter. |
| Zastao je tako pred Indijancem u trafici čisto radi razgovora, no onda žestoko zatresao glavom. U očima su mu plutali deseci sjajnih mjehurića, i svaki je imao sićušne, kose, mikroskopske oči i zurio u nj, zurio njemu u mozak. | Standing with the cigar store Indian for conversation, Uncle Jonn now shook his head violently. Dozens of bright bubbles floated in his eyeballs, each with tiny, slanted, microscopic eyes staring in, in at his brain. |
| Što ako je nikad ne pronađe? Što ako su je vjetrovi, što pušu ravnicom, odnijeli sve do Elgina? Nije li baš ondje tako rado provodila vrijeme, u duševnoj bolnici, i tu im doticala mozgove, hvatala i vrtjela njihove konfete od misli? | What if he never found Cecy? What if the plain winds had borne her all the way to Elgin? Wasn't that where she dearly loved to bide her time, in the asylum for the insane, touching their minds, holding and turning their confetti thoughts? |
| Široko rasuta u popodnevnoj daljini, velika je metalna pištaljka uzdisala i odjekivala, i para je šušljetala dok je vlak presijecao dolinu po rešetkastim drvenim mostovima, pućkao preko hladnih rijeka i zrelih kukuruzišta, ulazio u tunele kao prst u naprstak, prolazio kroz arkade svjetlucavih kestenova. Jonn je stajao tako, ispunjen strahom. Što ako je Cecy ovoga časa u kabini strojovođine glave? Voljela je voziti te čudovišne strojeve kroz krajolike do zadnjeg dometa svojega kontakta. Trzati konopac pištaljke sve dok ne bi zavrištala preko čitavog usnulog noćnoga krajolika ili dremljive dnevne ravnice. | Far-flung in the afternoon distance a great metal whistle sighed and echoed, steam shuffled as a train cut across valley trestles, over cool rivers through ripe cornfields, into tunnels like finger into thimble, under arches of shimmering walnut trees. Jonn stood, afraid. What if Cecy was in the cabin of the engineer's head, now? She loved riding the monster engines across country far as she could stretch the contact. Yank the whistle rope until it screamed across sleeping night land or drowsy day country. |
| Hodao je sjenovitom ulicom. Učinilo mu se da je kutkom oka ugledao neku staricu, naboranu kao suha smokva, golu kao čičkova sjemenka, kako lebdi kroz glogovu krošnju, s glogovim kolcem utjeranim u grudi. | He walked along a shady street. Out of the corners of his eyes he thought he saw an old woman, wrinkled as a dried fig, naked as a thistle-seed, floating among the branches of a hawthorn tree, a cedar stake driven into her breast. |
| Netko je vrisnuo! | Somebody screamed! |
| Nešto ga je lupilo u glavu. Neki kos, što se sad dizao prema nebesima, ponio je sa sobom i u vojak njegove kose! | Something thumped his head. A blackbird, soaring skyward, took a lock of his hair with it! |
| Priprijetio je ptici šakom, podigao kamen. "Plašiš me, je li!" povikao je. Dok je tako grubo disao, opazio je da ptica pravi krug i dolazi mu za leđa, pa sjeda na granu, vrebajući još jednu priliku da se obruši na dlake. | He shook his fist at the bird, heaved a rock. 'Scare me, will you!' he yelled. Breathing rawly, he saw the bird circle behind him to sit on a limb waiting another chance to dive for hair. |
| Lukavo se okrenuo od ptice. | He turned slyly from the bird. |
| Začuo je lepet. | He heard the whirring sound. |
| U skoku se okrenuo i zahvatio iznad glave. "Cecy!" | He jumped about, grabbed up. 'Cecy!' |
| Uhvatio je pticu! Ona je lepršala i kričala u njegovim rukama. | He had the bird! It fluttered, squalled in his hands. |
| "Cecy!" zazvao ju je, i kroz rešetke prstiju pogledao podivljalo crno stvorenje. Ptica mu je kljunom istjerala krv. | 'Cecy!' he called, looking into his caged fingers at the wild black creature. The bird drew blood with its bill. |
| "Cecy, zdrobit ću te ako mi ne pomogneš!" | 'Cecy, I'll crush you if you don't help me!' |
| Ptica je zakričala i zasjekla mu u meso. | The bird shrieked and cut him. |
| A on je stisnuo prste, čvršće, čvršće, čvršće. | He closed his fingers tight, tight, tight. |
| Otišao je s mjesta gdje je na koncu bacio mrtvu pticu, a nije se ni osvrnuo, baš ni jedanput. | He walked away from where he finally dropped the dead bird and did not look back at it, even once. |
| Krenuo je nizbrdo prema klancu što je tekao kroz samo središte Mellin Towna. Što se u ovom trenutku zbiva, poželio je znati. Je li Cecyna mati nazvala ostale? Jesu li se Elliottovi uplašili? Pijano se zanjihao, a ispod pazuha su mu izbila velika jezera znoja. Neka. Neka se sad za promjenu malo boje oni. Već mu je dosta i straha i svega. Još će je malo tražiti, a onda ide ravno na policiju! | He walked down into the ravine that ran through the very centre of Mellin Town. What's happening now, he wondered. Has Cecy's mother phoned people? Are the Elliotts afraid? He swayed drunkenly, great lakes of sweat bursting out under his armpits. Well, let them be afraid a while. He was tired of being afraid. He'd look just a little longer for Cecy and then go to the police! |
| Na obali potoka nasmijao se pomislivši kako sada Elliottovi trče kao muhe bez glave, i pokušavaju mu nekako izmigoljiti. Ali ništa iz toga. Moraju natjerati Cecy da im pomogne. Ne mogu oni sebi priuštiti da dobri stari stric Jonn umre u ludilu, ne, dragi moj. | On the creek bank, he laughed to think of the Elliotts scurrying madly, trying to find some way around him. There was no way. They'd have to make Cecy help him. They couldn't afford to let good old Uncle Jonn die insane, no, sir. |
| Oči nalik na metke zračne puške počivale su duboko u vodi, i gledale ga onako okrugle. | B-b-shot eyes lay deep in the water, staring roundly up at him. |
| U usijano vruća ljetna podneva, Cecy bi počesto ulazila u meko ljuskavo sivilo račjih, kliještima naoružanih glava. Počesto bi iz njihovih crnih, kavijarskih očiju na osjetljivim nitastim peteljkama provirivala u svijet i osjećala kako je oblijeva potok, jednolično jureći kraj nje, sve u fluidnim koprenama hladnoće i zarobljenoga svjetla. | On blazing hot summer noons, Cecy had often entered into the soft-shelled greyness of the mandibled heads of crayfish. She had often peeked out from the black egg eyes upon their sensitive filamentary stalks and felt the creek sluice by her, steadily, and in fluid veils of coolness and captured light. |
| Dok udiše i izdiše čestice koječega što voda nosi, dok pred sobom drži rožnate, lišajem prekrite štipaljke, kao kakav otmjeni pribor za miješanje salate, nabrekle i oštre kao škare. I dok promatra gorostasne korake dječačkih stopala što napreduju prema njoj po dnu potoka, i sluša oslabljene, vodom zgusnute povike dječaka što love rakove, pa zabijaju blijede prste, prevrću kamenje, pa hvataju i ubacuju uspaničene perajaste životinje u otvorene metalne kante u kojima trčkaraju deseci drugih rakova, kao u kakvoj naglo oživjeloj košari za stari papir. | Breathing out and in the particles of stuff that floated in water, holding her horny, lichened claws before her like some elegant salad utensils, swollen and scissor-sharp. She watched the giant strides of boy feet progressing towards her through the creek bottom, heard the faint, water-thickened shout of boys searching for crayfish, jabbing their pale fingers down, tumbling rocks aside, clutching and tossing frantic flippery animals into open metal cans where scores of other crayfish scuttled like a basket of wastepaper come to life. |
| Promatrala bi kako se blijede stapke dječačkih nogu uzdižu iznad kamena, vidjela sjene golih dječakovih bedara kako padaju na pjeskoviti glib dna potoka, vidjela bi kako ruka - napeto, napeto! - lebdi nad njom, i začula sugestivni šapat dječaka koji je naslutio plijen pod kamenom. A onda, kad bi ruka poletjela i kamen se preokrenuo, Cecy bi brzo mahnula lepezom svog tjelesnog staništa, ritnula se i odgurnula u maloj eksploziji pijeska, i nestala vodom odnesena. | She watched pale stalks of boy legs poise over her rock, saw the nude loin-shadows of boy thrown on the sandy muck of the creek floor, saw the suspenseful hand hovered, heard the suggestive whisper of a boy who's spied a prize beneath a stone. Then, as the hand plunged, the stone rolled, Cecy flirted the borrowed fan of her inhabited body, kicked back in a little sand explosion and vanished downstream. |
| Otišla bi do drugoga kamena i sjela bi i, ispruživši kliješta, stala njima, kao lepezom, vitlati pijesak, tim kliještima kojima se toliko gordila, a sićušne bi joj žaruljice od očiju zasjale crninom, dok bi joj voda potoka, hladna, hladna, hladna, punila usta iz kojih su izlazili mjehurići... | On to another rock she went to sit fanning the sand, holding her claws before her, proud of them, her tiny glass-bulb eyes glowing black as creek-water filled her bubbling mouth, cool, cool, cool. . . |
| Pomisao da bi Cecy mogla biti tako nadohvat ruke, u bilo čemu živom, dovodila je strica Jonna do sumanutoga bijesa. U svakoj običnoj ili prugastoj vjeverici, čak i u klici bolesti u njegovu bolnom tijelu, mogla je postojati Cecy. Mogla je ući čak i u amebe... | The realization that Cecy might be this close at hand, in any live thing, drove Uncle Jonn to a mad fury. In any squirrel or chipmunk, in a disease germ, even, on his aching body, Cecy might be existing. She could even enter amoebas. . . |
| U ponekom omamom ljetnom podnevu, Cecy bi poživjela u amebi, pa bi jurcala i kolebala se, duboko u starim i umornim, filozofski mračnim vodama kuhinjskog bunara. U danima kad bi svijet visoko iznad nje, iznad nepomične vode, bio dremljiva mora-vrućine utisnuta u svaki kopneni predmet, ona bi ležala sneno, drhtava i hladna i daleka, smjestivši se u grlu bunara. Iznad nje su bile krošnje, kao slike upečene u zelenu vatru. Ptice su bile kao brončani žigovi koje bi premazao bojom pa ih udario na vlastiti mozak. Iz kuća se dizala para kao iz šupa s gnojem. | On some sweltering summer noons, Cecy would live in an amoeba, darting, vacillating, deep in the old tired, philosophical dark waters of a kitchen well. On days when the world high over her, above the unstirred water, was a dreaming nightmare of heat printed on each object of the land, she'd lie somnolent, quivering and cool and distant, settling in the well-throat. Up above, trees were like images burned in green fire. Birds were like bronze stamps you inked and punched on your brain. Houses steamed like manure sheds. |
| Kad bi tresnula vrata, zazvučalo bi to kao pucanj iz puške. Jedini valjani zvuk u tom uskuhanom danu bilo bi astmatično sisanje vode iz bunara u porculansku šalicu, odakle bi je potom udahnula starica kroz porculanske zube kostura. | When a door slammed it was like a rifle shot. The only good sound on a simmering day was the asthmatic suction of well water drawn up into a porcelain cup, there to be inhaled through an old skeletonous woman's porcelain teeth. |
| Odozgo bi doCecy dopiralo lomno klapanje staričinih cipela, staričin glas pun uzdaha i prepečen na kolovoškom suncu. I, dok bi tako ležala, od svih najniža i hladna, i nišanila kroz mračni, jekom ispunjeni tunel bunara, Cecy bi začula gvozdeni srk ručice crpke koju bi energično pritiskala oznojena stara dama; i onda bi se i voda, i ameba, i Cecy, svi digli kroz grlo bunara, i bili najednom hladno izbljuvani u šalicu, nad kojom su čekale od sunca sparušene usne. I tada, i samo tada, Cecy bi se povukla, baš u času kad bi se usnice spustile da srknu, kad bi se šalica nagnula, i porculan se susreo s porculanom... | Overhead, Cecy could hear the brittle clap of the old woman's shoes, the sighing voice of the old woman baked in the August sun. And, lying lowermost and cool, sighting up through the dim echoing tunnel of well, Cecy heard the iron suction of the pump handle pressed energetically by the sweating old lady; and water, amoeba, Cecy and all rose up the throat of the well in sudden cool disgorgement out into the cup, over which waited sun-withered lips. Then, and only then, did Cecy withdraw, just as the lips came down to sip, the cup tilted, and porcelain met porcelain... |
| Jonn je posrnuo, pa ljosnuo u potok koliko je dug i širok! | Jonn stumbled, fell flat into the creek water! |
| Nije ustao, nego je samo ostao sjediti tako, dok se s njega glupo cijedila voda. | He didn't rise, but sat dripping stupidly. |
| A onda je počeo silovito prevrtati kamenje, lupati ga, vikati, grabiti i gubiti rakove, psovati. Zvona su mu u ušima zazvonila još glasnije. I sad je pred njim, sve jedno po jedno, zaplutala procesija tijela kakva ne mogu postojati, no ipak su se učinila stvarnima. Tijela bijela kao crvi, iskrenuta na leđa, što su plutala poput marioneta kojima su prerezali konce. Kad bi prolazila, bujica bi im zaljuljala glave pa bi im se lica prevrnula prema njemu, i na svakom bi se razotkrile crte tipičnog člana obitelji Elliott. | Then he began crashing rocks over, shouting, seizing upon and losing crayfish, cursing. The bells rang louder in his ears. And now, one by one, a procession of bodies that couldn't exist, but seemed to be real, floated by on the water. Worm-white bodies, turned on their backs, drifting like loose marionettes. As they passed, the tide bobbed their heads so their faces rolled over, revealing the features of the typical Elliott family member. |
| I onda je zaplakao, sjedeći tako u vodi. Želio je da mu Cecy pomogne, no kako da se sada nada da će je zaslužiti, sad kad se ponio tako blesavo, kad ju je psovao, mrzio je i prijetio i njoj i Obitelji. | He began to weep, sitting there in the water. He had wanted Cecy's help, but now how could he expect to deserve it, acting a fool, cursing her, hating her, threatening her and the Family? |
| Ustao je i otresao se. Izišao je iz potoka i uspeo se na brijeg. Sad je mogao učiniti još samo jedno. Moljakati svakog člana Obitelji ponaosob. Moliti ili da se za nj založe. Nagovarati ih da zamole Cecy da se vrati kući, i to brzo. | He stood up, shaking himself. He walked out of the creek and up the hill. There was only one thing to do now. Plead with individual members of the Family. Ask them to intercede for him. Have them ask Cecy to come home, quickly. |
| U pogrebnom salonu u Court Streetu, najednom su se otvorila vrata. Pogrebnik, inače onizak muškarac s pozamašnom tonzurom, brkovima i senzitivno tankim prstima, na ovo je podigao pogled. Lice mu se ovjesilo. | In the undertaking parlour on Court Street, the door opened. The undertaker, a short, well-tonsored man with a moustache and sensitively thin hands, looked up. His face fell. |
| "O, to si ti, striče Jonn", rekao je. | 'Oh, it's you, Uncle Jonn,' he said. |
| "Nećače Bion", odgovorio je Jonn, još mokar od potoka. "Moraš mi pomoći. Jesi vidio Cecy?" | 'Nephew Bion,' said Jonn, still wet from the creek, 'I need your help. Have you seen Cecy?' |
| "Vidio je?" rekao je Bion Elliott. Naslonio se na mramorni stol za kojim je upravo radio na lešu. Nasmijao se. "Bože, što me taj pita!" Posprdno je otpuhnuo. "Daj me pogledaj malo bolje. Ti me poznaješ?" | 'Seen her?' said Bion Elliott. He leaned against the marble table where he was working on a body. He laughed. 'God, don't ask me that!' he snorted. 'Look at me, close. Do you know me?' |
| Jonn se sav nakostriješio. "Ti si, naravno, Bion Elliott, Cecyn brat!" | Jonn bristled. 'You're Bion Elliott, Cecy's brother of course!' |
| "Krivo." Pogrebnik je zatresao glavom. "Ja sam rođak Ralph, mesar! Da, mesar." Kucnuo se u čelo. "Tu unutra, gdje je to jedino važno, ja sam Ralph. Baš sam maločas u mesnici radio u ledenici, kad se najednom u meni našla Cecy. Posudila je moj um, kao šalicu šećera. Pa me ovaj čas prenijela ovamo i nalila me u Bionovo tijelo. Ubogi Bion! Kakav štos!" | 'Wrong.' The undertaker shook his head. 'I'm Cousin Ralph, the butcher! Yes, the butcher.' He tapped his head. 'Here, inside, where it counts, I'm Ralph. I was working in my refrigerator a moment ago over at the butcher shop when suddenly Cecy was inside me. She borrowed my mind, like a cup of sugar. And brought me over here just now and sifted me down into Bion's body. Poor Bion! What a joke!' |
| "Ti - ti nisi Bion!" | 'You're — you're not Bion!' |
| "Ne, o, ne, dragi striče Jonn. Cecy je Biona vjerojatno stavila u moje tijelo! Vidiš u čemu je štos? Mesosječa promijenjen u mesosječu! Trgovac hladnim narescima promijenjen u isto to!" Zatresao se od smijeha. "Ah, Cecy, kakvo je ona još dijete!" Obrisao je s lica sretne suze. "Stajao sam tu pet minuta i pitao se što da radim. I znaš što? Pogrebništvo uopće nije teško. Ništa teže od pripremanja pilića za pečenje. O, Bion će pobjesniti. Njegov profesionalni integritet. Cecy će nas kasnije vjerojatno opet zamijeniti. Ali Bion nikad nije podnosio viceve na vlastiti račun!" | 'No, ah, no, dear Uncle Jonn. Cecy probably put Bion in my body! You see the joke? A meat-cutter exchanged for a meat-cutter! A dealer in cold-cuts traded for another of the same!' He quaked with laughter. 'Ah, that Cecy, what a child!' He wiped happy tears from his face. 'I've stood here for five minutes wondering what to do. You know something? Undertaking isn't hard. Not much harder than fixing pot-roasts. Oh, Bion'll be mad. His professional integrity. Cecy'll probably trade us back, later. Bion never was one to take a joke on himself!' |
| Jonn se doimao krajnje zbunjeno. "Ona ne sluša čak ni tebe?" | Jonn looked confused. 'Even you can't control Cecy?' |
| "O, Bože, ne. Ona radi što joj se svidi. A mi smo bespomoćni." | 'God, no. She does what she does. We're helpless.' |
| Jonn je zabazao prema vratima. "Moram je nekako naći", promrmljao je. "Ako je to mogla učiniti tebi, zamisli koliko bi mi, ako hoće, mogla pomoći..." Zvona su mu u ušima zazvonila još glasnije. Kutom je oka opazio pokret. Strelovito se okrenuo i zinuo. | Jonn wandered towards the door. 'Got to find her somehow,' he mumbled. 'If she can do this to you, think how she'd help me if she wanted. . .' The bells rang louder in his ears. From the side of his eyes he saw a movement. He whirled and gasped. |
| Kroz leš što je ležao na stolu bio je protjeran glogov kolac. | The body on the table had a cedar-stake driven through it. |
| "Zbogom", rekao je pogrebnik zalupljenim vratima. Oslušnuo je udarce Jonnovih nogu u trku, udarce koji su polako zamirali. | 'So long,' said the undertaker to the slammed door. He listened to the sound of Jonn's running feet, fading. |
| Čovjek koji je tog popodneva oko pet doteturao u policijsku postaju jedva se držao na nogama. Glas mu je bio šapat, a podrigivao je kao da je progutao otrov. Stricu Jonnu nije više ni sličio. Sad su zvona zvonila bez prestanka, bez prestanka, i stalno su mu za petama išli ljudi s kolcem u prsima, koji bi nestajali čim bi se okrenuo. | The man who staggered into the police station at five that afternoon was barely able to stand up. His voice was a whisper and he retched as if he'd taken poison. He didn't look like Uncle Jonn any more. The bells rang all the time, all the time, and he saw people walking behind him, with staked chests, who vanished whenever he turned to look. |
| Šerif je podigao pogled s magazina, otro smeđi brk nadlanicom šape, skinuo noge s izubijanoga pisaćeg stola i pričekao da stric Jonn kaže što ima reći. | The sheriff looked up from reading a magazine, wiped his brown moustache with the back of one claw-like hand, took his feet down off a battered desk and waited for Uncle Jonn to speak. |
| "Želio bih prijaviti obitelj što živi u blizini", rekao je stric Jonn s poluotvorenim očima. "Opaku obitelj, koja živi pod lažnim imenom." | 'I want to report a family that lives here,' whispered Uncle Jonn, his eyes half-shut. 'A wicked family, living under false pretences.' |
| Šerif je pročistio grlo. "A kako se ta obitelj zove?" | The sheriff cleared his throat. 'What's the family's name?' |
| Stric Jonn je zastao. "Kako?" | Uncle Jonn stopped. 'What?' |
| Šerif je ponovio: "Kako se zove ta obitelj?" | The sheriff repeated it, 'What's the family's name?' |
| "Vaš glas", rekao je Jonn. | 'Your voice,' said Jonn. |
| "Što s njim?" upitao je šerif. | 'What about my voice?' said the sheriff. |
| "Zvuči mi poznato", odgovorio je Jonn. "Kao..." | 'Sounds familiar,' said Jonn. 'Like — ' |
| "Čiji?" upitao je šerif. | 'Who?' asked the sheriff. |
| "Kao glas Cecyne majke! Eto na što me podsjeća!" | 'Like Cecy's mother! That's who you sound like!' |
| "Doista?" upitao je šerif. | 'Do I?' asked the sheriff. |
| "To je ono što ste vi iznutra! Cecy je promijenila i vas, baš kao i Ralpha i Biona! Onda vam, znači, i ne mogu prijaviti Obitelj! Od toga nikakve koristi!" | 'That's who you are inside! Cecy changed you, too, like she changed Ralph and Bion! I can't report the Family to you, now, then! It wouldn't do any good!' |
| "I ja bih rekao", odgovorio je šerif neumoljivo. | 'Guess it wouldn't,' remarked the sheriff, implacably. |
| "Obitelj me je prešla!" zakukao je stric Jonn. | 'The Family's gotten around me!' wailed Uncle Jonn. |
| "I meni se čini", odgovorio je šerif, pa jezikom navlažio olovku i načeo novu križaljku. "No dobro, do viđenja, Jonne Elliotte." | 'Seems that way,' said the sheriff, wetting a pencil on his tongue, starting on a fresh crossword puzzle. 'Well, good day to you, Jonn Elliott.' |
| "Aa?" | 'Unh?' |
| "Rekoh: 'Do viđenja.'" | 'I said ‘Good day'.' |
| "Do viđenja." Jonn je zastao kraj pisaćeg stola i oslušnuo. "Da li vi... čujete nešto?" | 'Good day.' Jonn stood by the desk, listening. 'Do you — do you hear anything?' |
| Šerif je osluhnuo. "Cvrčke?" | The sheriff listened. 'Crickets?' |
| "Ne." | 'No.' |
| "Žabe?" | 'Frogs?' |
| "Ne", odgovorio je stric Jonn. "Zvona. Baš zvona. Sveta crkvena zvona. Ona zvona koja čovjek poput mene ne podnosi. Sveta crkvena zvona." | 'No,' said Uncle Jonn. 'Bells. Just bells. Holy church bells. The kind of bells a man like me can't stand to hear. Holy church bells.' |
| Šerif je osluhnuo. "Ne. Ne mogu reći, kad ne čujem. Mislim, budite oprezni s tim vratima; sama se zalupe." | The sheriff listened. 'No. Can't say as I hear ‘em. Say, be careful of that door there; it slams.' |
| Vrata Cecyne sobe uz tresak su se otvorila. Trenutak potom u njoj se našao stric Jonn, i krenuo preko poda. Na krevetu je nijemo ležalo Cecyno tijelo, nepomično. Kad ju je Jonn uhvatio za ruku, iza leđa mu se pojavila njezina mati. | The door to Cecy's room was knocked open. A moment later, Uncle Jonn was inside, moving across the floor. The silent body of Cecy lay on the bed, not moving. Behind him, as Jonn seized Cecy's hand, her mother appeared. |
| Poletjela je na nj, pa ga stala lupati po glavi i ramenima, sve dok se nije odmaknuo od Cecy. Čitav je svijet nabrekao od zvonjave. Vid mu se smračio. Pokušao je uhvatiti njezinu majku, ugrizao se za usne, pa ih ispustio, grčevito udišući zrak, dok mu je iz očiju teklo potocima. | She ran to him, struck him on head and shoulders till he fell back from Cecy. The world swelled with bell sounds. His vision blacked out. He groped at the mother, biting his lips, releasing them in gasps, eyes streaming. |
| "Molim te, molim te reci joj da se vrati", rekao je. "Oprosti mi. Neću više nikad nikome učiniti nikakvo zlo." | 'Please, please tell her to come back,' he said. 'I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt anyone any more.' |
| Mati je povikala, nadglasavajući urnebes zvona: "Siđi u prizemlje i čekaj je dolje!" | The mother shouted through the clamour of bells. 'Go downstairs and wait for her there!' |
| "Ništa te ne čujem", kriknuo je on još glasnije. "Moja glava." Pritisnuo je uši rukama. "Tako je glasno. Tako je glasno, ne mogu to podnijeti." Zaljuljao se na petama. "Da sam samo znao gdje je Cecy..." | 'I can't hear you,' he cried, louder. 'My head.' He held his hands to his ears. 'So loud. So loud I can't stand it.' He rocked on his heels. 'If only I knew where Cecy was — ' |
| I onda, posve jednostavno, iz džepa je izvukao sklopljeni džepni nožić, pa ga rasklopio. "Ne mogu dalje..." rekao je. I prije nego što se mati mogla i pomaknuti, srušio se na pod, s nožem u srcu, a niz usne mu se slijevala krv, dok su mu se cipele doimale nekako besmisleno, tako jedna na drugoj, i jedno mu oko bilo zatvoreno, a drugo razrogačeno i bijelo. | Quite simply, he drew out a folded pocket knife, unfolded it. 'I can't go on — ' he said. And before the mother moved he fell to the floor, the knife in his heart, blood running from his lips, his shoes looking senseless one atop the other, one eye shut, the other wide and white. |
| Mati se nadvila nada nj. "Mrtav", napokon je prošaptala. "I tako", promrmljalaje u nevjerici, ustajući, pa ustuknula od krvi. "I tako, napokon mrtav." Hitro se osvrnula, ustrašeno, pa glasno kriknula. | The mother bent down to him. 'Dead,' she whispered, finally. 'So,' she murmured, unbelievingly, rising up, stepping away from the blood. 'So he's dead at last.' She glanced around, fearfully, cried aloud. |
| "Cecy, Cecy, vrati se kući, dijete, tako te trebam!" | 'Cecy, Cecy, come home, child, I need you!' |
| Tišina, dok je u sobi zamiralo svjetlo. | A silence, while sunlight faded from the room. |
| "Cecy, vrati se kući, dijete!" | 'Cecy, come home, child!' |
| Mrtvačeve su se usne pomakle. Iz njih je poskočio visoki čisti glas. | The dead man's lips moved. A high clear voice sprang from them. |
| "Tu sam! Tu sam već danima! Ja sam taj strah u njemu; a on to nikad nije ni naslutio. Reci ocu što sam učinila. Možda će me sad više cijeniti..." | 'Here! I've been here for days! I'm the fear he had in him; and he never guessed. Tell Father what I've done. Maybe he'll think me worthy now. . .' |
| Mrtvačeve su usne stale. Trenutak kasnije, Cecyno se tijelo na postelji ukrutilo poput čarape u koju je netko naglo gurnuo nogu; ponovno je dobilo svog stanovnika. | The dead man's lips stopped. A moment later, Cecy's body on the bed stiffened like a stocking with a leg thrust suddenly into it, inhabited again. |
| "Daj večeru, majko", rekla je Cecy i ustala s kreveta. | 'Supper, mother,' said Cecy, rising from bed. |