The October Country

TEGLICA

TEGLICA	The Jar
Bila je to samo jedna od onih stvari što se drže u teglici, u šatoru drugorazrednih atrakcija u predgrađu male, pospane kasabe. Jedan od onih bljeduljaka što plutaju u alkoholnoj plazmi, što vječno snivaju i kruže, dignutih vjeđa i s mrtvim očima što stalno zure u tebe, a nikada te ne vide. Pristajalo je to uz bešumnost kasnih noćnih sati, u kojoj se čulo samo cvrčanje cvrčaka i jecaj žaba u mokroj močvari. Jedna od onih stvari u velikoj staklenoj boci od kojih ti poskoči želudac, kao kad ugledaš konzerviranu ruku u laboratorijskoj kadici.	It was one of those things they keep in a jar in the tent of a sideshow on the outskirts of a little, drowsy town. One of those pale things drifting in alcohol plasma, forever dreaming and circling, with its peeled, dead eyes staring out at you and never seeing you. It went with the noiselessness of late night, and only the crickets chirping, the frogs sobbing off in the moist swampland. One of those things in a big jar that makes your stomach jump as it does when you see a preserved arm in a laboratory vat.
Charlie joj je dugo uzvraćao pogled.	Charlie stared back at it for a long time.
Dugo su vremena njegove krupne, sirove šake, podlakavljenoga krova, stiskale konop što je zadržavao radoznalce. Platio je svojih deset centi i sad je buljio.	A long time, his big, raw hands, hairy on the roofs of them, clenching the rope that kept back curious people. He had paid his dime and now he stared.
Bilo je već kasno. Vrtuljak je zakunjao do lijenog mehaničkog zveckanja. Pomoćni radnici sjedili su iza šatorskoga platna, pušili i psovali nad partijom pokera. Svjetla su se pogasila i na luna-park spustila ljetnu tamu. Svijet je u družinama i repovima potekao svojim kućama. Negdje je eksplodirao radio, pa umukao, ostavljajući za sobom široko louisiansko nebo, nečujno sa svojim zvijezdama.	It was getting late. The merry-go-round drowsed down to a lazy mechanical tinkle. Tent-peggers back of a canvas smoked and cursed over a poker game. Lights switched out, putting a summer gloom over the carnival. People streamed homeward in cliques and queues. Somewhere, a radio flared up, then cut, leaving Louisiana sky wide and silent with stars.
Za Charlieja je, međutim, taj bljeduljak, hermetički zatvoren u svojem svemiru seruma, bio jedina stvar na svijetu. Charliejeva olabavljena usta visjela su otvorena kao ispupčena ružičasta brada, i pokazivala zube; oči su mu bile smetene, zadivljene, začuđene.	There was nothing in the world for Charlie but that pale thing sealed in its universe of serum. Charlie's loose mouth hung open in a pink weal, teeth showing; his eyes were puzzled, admiring, wondering.
Netko je ušao u sjenu iza njega, sitan kraj Charliejeve nesklapne visine. "O", rekla je sjena i ušla u sjaj žarulje. "Još si tu, stari moj?"	Someone walked in the shadows behind him, small beside Charlie's gaunt tallness. "Oh," said the shadow, coming into the light-bulb glare. "You still here, bud?"
"Aha", odgovorio je Charlie kao iza sna.	"Yeah," said Charlie, like a man in his sleep.
Gazda luna-parka cijenio je Charliejevu radoznalost. Kimnuo je glavom prema starom znancu u teglici. "Svi ga vole; mislim, na malo otkačen način."	The carny-boss appreciated Charlie's curiosity. He nodded at his old acquaintance in the jar. "Everybody likes it; in a peculiar kinda way, I mean."
Charlie je protrljao dugu čeljust. "Vi - ovaj - jeste li već razmišljali o tome, da ga prodate?"	Charlie rubbed his long jaw-bone. "You--uh--ever consider selling it?"
Gazdine su se oči razvukle, pa sklopile. Otfrknuo je. "Ma kaki. Bome, taj dovlači mušterije. Vole oni to gledati. To sigurno."	The carny-boss's eyes dilated, then closed. He snorted. "Naw. It brings customers. They like seeing stuff like that. Sure."
Našto je Charlie ispustio jedan razočarani "Oh."	Charlie made a disappointed, "Oh."
"Ali mislim," glasno je razmislio gazda, "kad bi se baš našao netko s lovom, onda možda..."	"Well," considered the carny-boss, "if a guy had money, maybe--"
"S koliko love?"	"How much money?"
"Kad bi netko imao..." počeo je procjenjivati gazda, sve brojeći na prste, i svo vrijeme promatrajući Charlieja, dok ih je tako izvijao, sve jedan po jedan. "Kad bi taj netko imao tri, četiri, recimo, možda sedam ili osam..."	"If a guy had--" the carny-boss estimated, counting fingers, watching Charlie as he tacked it out one finger after another. "If a guy had three, four, say, maybe seven or eight--"
Charlie bi kimnuo kod svakog pokreta, put očekivanja. Videći to, gazda je povisio završni zbroj. "... možda deset dolara, ili možda petnaest..."	Charlie nodded with each motion, expectantly. Seeing this, the carny-boss raised his total, "--maybe ten dollars or maybe fifteen--"
Charlie se zabrinuto namrštio. Gazda se malo povukao. "Kad bi, recimo, imao dvanaest dolara..." Charlie se široko nasmiješio. "E, onda bi mogao kupiti to u teglici", zaključio je gazda.	Charlie scowled, worried. The carnyboss retreated. "Say a guy has twelve dollars--" Charlie grinned. "Why he could buy that thing in that jar," concluded the carny-boss.
"Kakva slučajnost", odgovorio je Charlie. "Baš u trapericama imam toliko. I baš sam si mislio kako bi me pogledali da se vratim u Wilder's Hollow s tako nečim i da im stavim na policu iznad stola. Društvo bi imalo što gledati, u to se mogu kladiti."	"Funny thing," said Charlie, "I got just twelve bucks in my denims. And I been reckoning how looked-up-to I'd be back down at Wilder's Hollow if I brung home something like this to set on my shelf over the table. The folks would sure look up to me then, I bet."
"Pa mislim, ovaj, ma čuj..." rekao je gazda.	"Well, now, listen here--" said the carny-boss.
Kupoprodaja je bila dovršena postavljanjem teglice na stražnje sjedalo Charliejevih kola. Kad je konj ugledao teglicu, zakopao je nogama i zanjištao.	The sale was completed with the jar put on the back seat of Charlie's wagon. The horse skittered his hoofs when he saw the jar, and whinnied.
Gazda ga je kratko pogledao, a na licu mu je bio izraz skoro olakšanja. "I tako sam već umoran od gledanja u to čudo. Nemoj mi zahvaljivati. U zadnje mi se vrijeme zbog toga već koješta počelo motati po glavi - ali, kvragu, i tako uvijek previše pričam. Bog te živio, farmeru!"	The carny-boss glanced up with an expression of, almost, relief. "I was tired of seeing that damn thing around, anyway. Don't thank me. Lately I been thinking things about it, funny things--but, hell, I'm a big-mouthed so-and-so. S'long, farmer!"
Charlie se odvezao. Gole plave žarulje izblijedile su kao jutarnje zvijezde, a otvorena, mračna ladanjska noć Louisiane izlila se oko kola i konja. Sad su tu bili samo Charlie, konj što je dovodio u takt siva kopita, i cvrčci.	Charlie drove off. The naked blue light bulbs withdrew like dying stars, the open, dark country night of Louisiana swept in around wagon and horse. There was just Charlie, the horse timing his gray hoofs, and the crickets.
I teglica iza visoke klupe.	And the jar behind the high seat.
Ona se bućkala amo-tamo, vamo-amo. I vlažno šljapkala. A ona studena siva stvar dremljivo se navalila na staklo, gledajući van, gledajući van, no ne videći ništa, ništa.	It sloshed back and forth, back and forth. Sloshed wet. And the cold gray thing drowsily slumped against the glass, looking out, looking out, but seeing nothing, nothing.
Charlie se izvio natrag i pomilovao poklopac. I ruka mu se vratila, mirišući na čudnu tekućinu, promijenjena i hladna i uzdrhtala, uzbuđena. Tako, dragoviću, pomislio je. Da, stari moj!	Charlie leaned back to pet the lid. Smelling of strange liquor his hand returned, changed and cold and trembling, excited. Yes, sir! he thought to himself, Yes, sir!
Pljus, pljus, pljus...	Slosh, slosh, slosh. . . .
A u Hollowu, mnogobrojne su travnozelene i krvavocrvene lanterne bacale prašnjavo svjetlo na ljude što su se kutrili, mrmljali, pijuckali i sjedili na zemljištu dućana s mješovitom robom.	In the Hollow, numerous grass-green and blood-red lanterns tossed dusty light over men huddled, murmuring, spitting, sitting on General Store property.
Poznavali su škripa-brum Charliejevih kola, pa kad su se ona zanjihala i stala, nisu ni pomaknuli svoje sirove lubanje obraštene okernom kosom. Cigarete su im bile krijesnice, a glasovi mrmljanje žaba u ljetnoj noći.	They knew the creak-bumble of Charlie's wagon and did not shift their raw, drab-haired skulls as he rocked to a halt. Their cigars were glowworms, their voices were frog mutterings on summer nights.
Charlie se prpošno nagnuo iz kola. "Haj, Clem. Haj, Milt!"	Charlie leaned down eagerly. "Hi, Clem! Hi, Milt!"

"Gle, Charlie. Gle, Charlie", odmrmljali su ovi. Politički se sukob nastavio. Charlie ga je rasparao po šavu:	"Lo, Charlie. Lo, Charlie," they murmured. The political conflict continued. Charlie cut it down the seam:
"Imam nešto, imam nešto. Imam nešto što sigurno hoćete vidjeti!"	"I got somethin' here. I got somethin' you might wanna see!"
Oči Toma Carmodyja na ovo su bljesnule, onako zelene pri svjetlosti fenjera što se širila iz vrata dućana. Charlieju se učinilo da se Tom Carmody uvijek postavlja tako, na verandi i u sjeni, ili pod drvećem u hladovini, ili, ako je u sobi, onda u najdaljoj niši iz koje sjaji očima iz tame. Čovjek nikad ne zna što mu radi lice, a njegove ti se oči stalno podsmjehuju. A svaki put kad bi te pogledale, nasmijale bi se nekako drukčije. "Nemaš ti ništa, lutko, što bi se nama gledalo."	Tom Carmody's eyes glinted, green in the lamplight, from the General Store porch. It seemed to Charlie that Tom Carmody was forever installed under porches in shadow, or under trees in shadow, or if in a room, then in the farthest niche shining his eyes out at you from the dark. You never knew what his face was doing, and his eyes were always funning you. And every time they looked at you they laughed a different way.
Charlie je stisnuo šaku i spustio na nju pogled.	"You ain't got nothin' we wants to see, baby-doll."
"Nešto u teglici", nastavio je. "To mu je kao nekakav mozak, ili prije usalamurena meduza, ili prije - uostalom, pogledajte sami!"	Charlie made a fist and looked at it. "Somethin' in a jar," he went on. "Looks kine a like a brain, kine a like a pickled jellyfish, kine a like--well, come see yourself!"
Netko je tucnuo cigaretu i bacio čitav slap ružičastog pepela, pa se odšetao pogledati. Charlie je veličanstvenom kretnjom digao poklopac teglice, i onda se, u neizvjesnom svjetlu fenjera, lice onog čovjeka naglo promijenilo. "Hej, daj, ma koji je to vrag..?"	Someone snicked a cigar into a fall of pink ash and ambled over to look. Charlie grandly elevated the jar lid, and in the uncertain lantern light the man's face changed. "Hey, now, what in hell is this--?"
Bilo je to prvo odleđenje te večeri. Drugi su se lijeno digli uvis, nagnuli prema naprijed; teža ih je povukla da zakoračaju. Oni u hodanje nisu ulagali nikakav trud, samo bi stavljali jednu cipelu pred drugu da se ne stropoštaju na svoja neobična lica. Okružili su teglicu i njen sadržaj. A Charlie se, sad po prvi put u životu, poslužio nekakvom skrivenom strategijom i s treskom zatvorio stakleni poklopac.	It was the first thaw of the evening. Others shifted lazily upright, leaned forward; gravity pulled them into walking. They made no effort, except to put one shoe before the other to keep from collapsing upon their unusual faces. They circled the jar and contents. And Charlie, for the first time in his life, seized on some hidden strategy and crashed the glass lid shut.
"Ako vam se još gleda, svratite do mene! To će biti tamo", izjavio je velikodušno.	"You want to see more, drop aroun' my house! It'll be there," he declared, generously.
Tom Carmody je pljucnuo s verande, iz svog orlovskoga gnijezda. "Ha!"'	Tom Carmody spat from out his porch eyrie. "Ha!"
"Daj da probam još jednom!" uzviknuo je Gramps Medknowe. "To je nekakva hobotnica?"	"Lemme see that again!" cried Gramps Medknowe. "Is it a octopus?"
Charlie je pljesnuo uzdama; konj je posrnuo i krenuo u akciju.	Charlie flapped the reins; the horse stumbled into action.
"Svratite k meni! Navalite, braćo!"	"Come on aroun'! You're welcome!"
"Što će reći tvoja baba?"	"What'll your wife say?"
"Raspalit će nas nogom da će nam se odlijepiti pete!"	"She'll kick the tar off'n our heels!"
Ali su Charliejeva kola već otišla preko brda. Ljudi su ustali, svi odreda, žvačući jezike, i zažmirkali niz cestu u tami. Tom Carmody je tiho opsovao s verande...	But Charlie and wagon were gone over the hill. The men stood, all of them, chewing their tongues, squinting up the road in the dark. Tom Carmody swore softly from the porch. . . .
Charlie se uspeo stubama svoje kolibe pa odnio teglicu do njezina trona u dnevnoj sobi, a onda pomislio kako će od sada ta njegova prislonjena kuća biti dvorac, i to s "imperatorom" - to je prava riječ! "imperatorom" - posve hladnim i tihim što pluta u svom privatnom bazenu, uzvišen i uznesen na polici iznad rasklimanog stola.	Charlie climbed the steps of his shack and carried the jar to its throne in the living room, thinking that from now on this lean-to would be a palace, with an "emperor"--that was the word! "emperor"--all cold and white and quiet drifting in his private pool, raised, elevated upon a shelf over a ramshackle table.
Dok ju je tako gledao, ta teglica kao da je spalila hladnu maglu što je visjela nad kućom na rubu močvare.	The jar, as he watched, burnt off the cold mist that hung over this place on the rim of the swamp.
"Što to imaš?"	"What you got there?"
Thedyn tanki sopran odvratio mu je misli od njegove zatravljenosti teglicom. Stajala je u vratima spavaonice i strijeljala ga očima, a tanko joj je tijelo bilo odjeveno u izblijedjelu plavu kariranu tkaninu, dok joj je kosa bila potegnuta u otrcani čvor iza crvenih ušiju. Oči su joj bile izblijedjele kao i ta pamučna tkanina. "Dakle", ponovila je. "Što je to?"	Thedy's thin soprano turned him from his awe. She stood in the bedroom door glaring out, her thin body clothed in faded blue gingham, her hair drawn to a drab knot behind red ears. Her eyes were faded like the gingham. "Well," she repeated. "What is it?"
"A na što to tebi sliči?"	"What's it look like to you, Thedy?"
Tanjušno je zakoračala, te iz bokova napravila polako, indolentno njihalo, dok su joj oči napeto promatrale teglicu, a usne joj bile povučene i pokazivale mačje mliječne zube.	She took a thin step forward, making a slow, indolent pendulum of hips, her eyes intent upon the jar, her lips drawn back to show feline milk teeth.
Mrtva je blijeda stvar levitirala u svom serumu.	The dead pale thing hung in its serum.
Thedy je ošinula Charlieja tamnomodrim pogledom, pa vratila oči na teglicu, pa još jednom na Charlieja, pa još jednom na teglicu, a onda se strelovito okrenula.	Thedy snapped a dull-blue glance at Charlie, then back to the jar, once more at Charlie, once more to the jar, then she whirled quickly.
"Da - Charlie, to je zaista tebi slično!" kriknula je.	"It--it looks--looks just like you, Charlie!" she cried.
Vrata su se spavaonice zalupila.	The bedroom door slammed.
Podrhtavanje nije uznemirilo sadržaj teglice. Ali je Charlie ostao stajati, pun čežnje za svojom ženom, dok mu je srce grozničavo tuklo. Mnogo kasnije, kad mu se srce usporilo, progovorio je onoj stvari u teglici.	The reverberation did not disturb the jar's contents. But Charlie stood there, longing after his wife, heart pounding frantically. Much later, when his heart slowed, he talked to the thing in the jar.
"Iz godine u godinu rijem tu povodnu zemlju, mislim otpast će mi guzica, a ona samo pokupi lovu pa trk svojima i po devet tjedana zaredom. Ne mogu je uhvatiti za vrat. Ona i svi ti ljudi iz dućana, smiju se na moj račun. Što ja tu mogu, kad je ne znam uhvatiti ni za glavu ni za rep! Dođavola, ali se bar trudim!"	"I work the bottom land to the butt-bone every year, and she grabs the money and runs off down home visitin' her folks nine weeks at a stretch. I can't keep hold of her. Her and the men from the store, they make fun of me. I can't help it if I don't know a way to hold onto her! Damn, but I try!"
Sadržaj teglice, sasvim filozofski, topogledno se suzdržao od komentara.	Philosophically, the contents of the jar gave no advice.
"Charlie?"	"Charlie?"
Netko je stajao u prednjim kućnim vratima.	Someone stood in the front-yard door.

Charlie se prepadnuto okrenuo, a onda mu se licem prelio smiješak.	Charlie turned, startled, then broke out a grin.
Bio je to jedan od ljudi iz dućana mještovitom robom.	It was some of the men from the General Store.
"Ovaj... Charlie... mi... mi smo mislili... mislim... došli smo da pogledamo to... to u teglici..."	"Uh--Charlie---we--we thought--well--we came up to have a look at that--stuff--you got in that there jar--"
Srpanj je bio vruć, a onda je nastupio kolovoz.	July passed warm and it was August.
Po prvi put nakon mnogo godina, Charlie je bio sretan kao visoki kukuruz kad diklja poslije duge suše. Bio je pravi užitak uveče slušati cipele kako šuškaju kroz visoku travu, slušati ljude kako pljuju u grabu prije nego što će nogom stupiti na verandu, slušati kako pod teškim tijelima pucketaju daske, a isto tako i stenjanje kuće, kad bi se na njihova vrata od špere naslonilo još jedno rame i još jedan glas rekao, dok bi dlakava nadlaktica otirala usta:	For the first time in years, Charlie was happy as tall corn growing after a drought. It was gratifying of an evening to hear boots shushing through the tall grass, the sound of men spitting into the ditch prior to setting foot on the porch, the sound of heavy bodies creaking the boards, and the groan of the house as yet another shoulder leaned against its frame door and another voice said, as a hairy wrist wiped a mouth clean:
"Jel slobodno?"	"Kin I come in?"
S vrlo rafiniranom nonšalantnošću, Charlie poziva pridošlice da uđu. A tu su i stolice, kao i sanduci za sve, ili bar sag za sjesti po turski. I do trenutka kad bi se cvrčci počeli češati po nogama u ljetnome bruju, a žabe, nateklih grla poput gušavih dama, zakričale u veličanstvenu noć, soba bi već bila tako puna ljudi s povodne zemlje, da se činilo - razvalit će joj se zidovi.	With elaborate casualness, Charlie'd invite the arrivals in. There'd be chairs, soapboxes for all, or at least carpets to squat on. And by the time crickets were itching their legs into a summertime humming and frogs were throat-swollen like ladies with goiters shouting in the great night, the room would be full to bursting with people from all the bottom lands.
U prvi mah nitko ne bi rekao ni riječi. Prvih pola sata takvih večeri, dok bi ljudi ulazili i sjedali, potrošilo bi se na pažljivo motanje cigareta. Uredno bi stavljali duhan u koloderinu smeđega papira, slagali ga, nabijali, baš kao što bi i slagali i nabijali i zavijali i svoje misli i strahove i zaprepaštenje, sve što će im večeras zatrebati. Tako bi dobivali vremena za razmišljanje. Vidjelo se kako im iza očiju radi mozak, dok bi tako opipavali cigarete i slagali ih u red kojim će ih pušiti.	At first nobody would say anything. The first half-hour of such an evening, while people came in and got settled, was spent in carefully rolling cigarettes. Putting tobacco neatly into the rut of brown paper, loading it, tamping it, as they loaded and tamped and rolled their thoughts and fears and amazement for the evening. It gave them time to think. You could see their brains working behind their eyes as they fingered the cigarettes into smoking order.
Bio je to svojevrstan robusni crkveni skup. Sjedili su, po turski, naslonjeni na ožbukane zidove a potom bi, sve jedan po jedan, s pobožnim strahopoštovanjem pogledavali u teglicu na njezinoj polici.	It was kind of a rude church gathering. They sat, squatted, leaned on plaster walls, and one by one, with reverent awe, they stared at the jar upon its shelf.
I ne bi zurili u nju, niti bije pogledali iznebuha. Ne, oni bi to učinili nekako polako, kao slučajno, kao da se ogledavaju po sobi - i puštali da im oči prtljaju oko baš svakog starog predmeta koji bi im se slučajno stvorio u svijesti.	They wouldn't stare sudden-like. No, they kind of did it slow, casual, as if they were glancing around the room--letting their eyes fumble over just any old object that happened into their consciousness.
I tad bi se - naravno, sasvim slučajno - centar njihova odlutala pogleda slučajno uvijek našao na istome mjestu. Nakon nekog vremena svi bi se pogledi u sobi prikovali za nj, poput pribadača zapiknutih u nekakav nevjerojatni jastučić. A pritom bi se čulo samo kako netko siše klip kururuza. Ili dijete što bi boso šmugnulo vani, preko dasaka verande. Možda bi unutra prodro i kakav ženski glas: "Klinci, bjež'te, dok vas nisam! Bjež!" I potom, uz hihotanje nalik na tihe, brze vode, bose bi noge odjurile plašiti krastače.	And--just by accident, of course--the focus of their wandering eyes would occur always at the same place. After a while all eyes in the room would be fastened to it, like pins stuck in some incredible pincushion. And the only sound would be someone sucking a corncob. Or the children's barefooted scurry on the porch planks outside. Maybe some woman's voice would come, "You kids git away, now! Git!" And with a giggle like soft, quick water, the bare feet would rush off to scare the bullfrogs.
Charlie bi, naravno, bio pred svima njima, u svojoj stolici za ljuljanje, a pod mršavom bi mu starkom bio jastuk od pleda, i tad bi se polako ljuljao, uživajući u slavi i gledanosti što su potjecali od posjedovanja teglice.	Charlie would be up front, naturally, on his rocking chair, a plaid pillow under his lean rump, rocking slow, enjoying the fame and looked-up-to-ness that came with keeping the jar.
Što se pak tiče Thedy, nju bi vidjeli duboko u kutu sobe, s drugom ženskadijom, odreda sivom i tihom i vjernom svojim muškarcima.	Thedy, she'd be seen way back of the room with the womenfolk in a bunch, all gray and quiet, abiding their men.
Thedy se doimala zrelom za ljubomorno vrištanje. Pa ipak ne bi rekla ništa, nego bi samo gledala kako muškarci teškim korakom ulaze u njenu dnevnu sobu i sjedaju Charlieiju do nogu, pa bulje u tu stvar, toli sličnu Svetom Gralu, i zbog toga bi stisnula usne studeno i tvrdo, i nikom ne bi rekla ni jednu uljudnu riječ.	Thedy looked like she was ripe for jealous screaming. But she said nothing, just watched men tromp into her living room and sit at the feet of Charlie, staring at this here Holy Grail-like thing, and her lips were set cold and hard and she spoke not a civil word to anybody.
Nakon primjerenog razdoblja šutnje, netko bi, možda baš i stari Gramps Medknowe iz Crick Roada, očistio sluz iz neke duboke špilje u svojoj osobi, povio se, zažmirkao, ovlažio usne, možda, i zatim bi se opazilo zanimljivo drhtanje njegovih žuljevitih prstiju.	After a period of proper silence, someone, maybe old Gramps Medknowe from Crick Road, would clear the phlegm from a deep cave somewhere inside himself, lean forward, blinking, wet his lips, maybe, and there'd be a curious tremble in his calloused fingers.
To bi svakog diskretno upozorilo da se pripremi za priču što slijedi. Postavili bi uši na gotovs. I namiještali se kao krmače u toplome mulju poslije kiše.	This would cue everyone to get ready for the talking to come. Ears were primed. People settled like sows in the warm mud after a rain.
Gramps je dugo gledao, mjerio si usne gušterskim jezikom, a onda se zavalio i rekao, kao i uvijek, visokim, tankim staračkim tenorom:	Gramps looked a long while, measured his lips with a lizard tongue, then settled back and said, like always, in a high, thin oldman's tenor:
"Pitam se što je to? Je li to on ili ona ili dobro staro ono? Pokatkad se budim noću, pa se sve mrijestim na slamarici, pa mislim na tu teglu što stoji tu u dugoj tami. I mislim kako lebdi u toj tekućini, miroljubivo i blijedo kao ona životinja kamenica. A pokatkad probudim Maw, pa oboje razmišljamo o tome..." Dok je govorio, Gramps je micao prste u drhtavoj pantomimi.	"Wonder what it is? Wonder if it's a he or a she or just a plain old it? Sometimes I wake up nights, twist on my corn-matting, think about that jar settin' here in the long dark. Think about it hangin' in liquid, peaceful and pale like an animal oyster. Sometimes I wake Maw and we both think on it..." While talking, Gramps moved his fingers in a quavering pantomime.
Svi su gledali kako mu debeli palac plete, a ostali se prsti s masivnim noktima valjuškaju. "...i ležimo tako, oboje, i razmišljamo. I drhćemo. Možda je noć prevruća, i drveće se znoji, ni komarcima se ne leti, tako je vruće, ali se mi ipak tresemo, i prevrćemo, hoćemo zaspati..."	Everybody watched his thick thumb weave, and the other heavy-nailed fingers undulate. "... we both lay there, thinkin'. And we shivers. Maybe a hot night, trees sweatin', mosquitoes too hot to fly, but we shivers jest the same, and turn over, trying to sleep..."
Gramps je ponovno utonuo u tišinu, kao da je toliki govor za nj bio posve dostatan, i nek sad netko drugi priča o čuđenju, prepasti, neobičnosti.	Gramps lapsed back into silence, as if his speech was enough from him, let some other voice talk the wonder, awe, and strangeness.
Juke Marmer, iz Willow Sumpa, otro je na oblinama koljena znojne dlanove i tiho rekao:	Juke Marmer, from Willow Sump, wiped sweat off his palms on the round of his knees and softly said:
"Sjećam se dok su mi još bale curile iz nosa. Imali smo mačku koja je stalno pravila mačiće. Zapetranbožjih, ta bi se omacila svaki put kad bi preskočila ogradu..." Juke je govorio nekako sveto, onim svojim mekim, dobroćudnim glasom. "I mislim, mi smo te mačiće dijelili, ali kad je iz nje ispalo još i to leglo, svi na dan hoda od nas već su bili dobili na dar bar po dva-tri naša mačića.	"I remember when I was a runnel-nosed kid. We had a cat who was all the time makin' kittens. Lordamighty, she'd a litter any time she jumped around and skipped a fence--" Juke spoke in a kind of holy softness, benevolent. "Well, we give the kittens away, but when this one particular litter busted out, everybody within walkin' distance had one-two our cats by gift, already.
I tako je mama počela na stražnjoj verandi prtljati nešto sa staklenom teglom od dva galona, i do vrha je napunila vodom. I rekla: 'Juke, daj utopi te mačiće.' Sjećam se kako sam stajao tako; mačići su mjaukali, slijepi, mali, bespomoćni, smiješni - pa počeli otvarati oči. I pogledao sam mamu i rekao: 'Ne ja, mama! Ti, ti to učini! ' Ali je mama sva problijedila i rekla to se mora, a ja sam joj jedini pri ruci. I ode miješati umak i peći piliće. I tako sam dohvatio - dohvatio jedno - jedno mače. Držao sam ga. Bilo je toplo. I onda je zamjaukalo, i ja sam htio pobjeći, i ne vratiti se više nikada."	"So Ma busied on the back porch with a big two-gallon glass jar, fillin' it to the top with water. Ma said, 'Juke, you drown them kittens!' I 'member I stood there; the kittens mewed, runnin' 'round, blind, small, helpless, and funnyjust beginnin' to get their eyes open. I looked at Ma, I said, 'Not me, Ma! You do it!' But Ma turned pale and said it had to be done and I was the only one handy. And she went off to stir gravy and fix chicken. I--I picked up one--kitten. I held it. It was warm. It made a mewin' sound, I felt like runnin' away, not ever comin' back."
Juke je sad kimnuo glavom, a oči su mu bile blistave i mlade, jer su gledale u prošlost, gradile je iznova, oblikovale je riječima, cizelirale je jezikom.	Juke nodded his head now, eyes bright, young, seeing into the past, making it new, shaping it with words, smoothing it with his tongue.
"Bacio sam mače u vodu. Mače je zatvorilo oči, otvorilo usta, pokušalo uhvatiti zrak. Sjećam se kako su mu se pokazale panđice, kako mu je izišao ružičasti jezik, i mjehurići s njim, sve jedan po jedan, do površine vode!	"I dropped the kitten in the water. The kitten closed his eyes, opened his mouth, tryin' for air. I 'member how the little white fangs showed, the pink tongue came out, and bubbles with it, in a line to the top of the water!
Do danas pamtim kako je mače plutalo kad je sve bilo gotovo, nošeno tako, polako i bezbrižno, i kako me gledalo, ne kriveći me za to što sam učinio. Ali niti ne s ljubavlju. Ahhhhh..."	"I know to this day the way that kitten floated after it was all over, driftin' aroun', slow and not worryin', lookin' out at me, not condemnin' me for what I done. But not likin' me, neither. Ahhhh. . . ."
Srca su brzo poskočila. Oči su se zakrenule od Jukea do teglice na polici, pa se ponovno spustile, pa se ponovno digle, nekako bojažljivo.	Hearts jumped quick. Eyes swiveled from Juke to the shelved jar, back down, up again apprehensively.
Stanka.	A pause.
Jahdoo, crnac iz Heron Swampa, zažonglirao je očima u glavi poput kakvog zagasitog pelivana. Crni su mu se zglavci skupili i opružili - kao živi skakavci.	Jahdoo, the black man from Heron Swamp, tossed his ivory eyeballs, like a dusky juggler, in his head. His dark knuckles knotted and flexed--grasshoppers alive.
"Znate štoj' to? Znate vi, znate? Ja vam reći. To srce Života, to ko amen! Boga mi moga, to vam tako!"	"You know what that is? You know, you know? I tells you. That be the center of Life, sure 'nuff! Lord believe me, it so!"

Jahdoo se zibao u ritmu krošnji, na vjetru iz močvare kojeg nitko osim njega nije vidio, ni čuo, ni osjećao. Oči su mu ponovno zakružile, kao da im je netko presjekao spone i pustio ih da lutaju. Glas mu je pleo tamnu mustru, hvatajući svakoga za uši i ušivajući ga u šaru bez daha:	Swaying in a tree-like rhythm, Jahdoo was blown by a swamp wind no one could see, hear or feel, save himself. His eyeballs went around again, as if cut free to wander. His voice needled a dark thread pattern, picking up each person by the lobes of their ears and sewing them into one unbreathing design:
"Iz toga, u Middibamboo Sumpu što leži, gmiže sve živo. To vadi ruku, to vadi nogu, to vadi jezik i rog i raste. Sitno mala ameba, možda. A onda žaba, s ovooolkom gušom, da pukne! Baš tako!" Zapucketao je zglavcima. "I sve bali, i diže se na zglobove od gume i to - TO SAM ČOVJEK! To sam srce stvaranja! To sam Middibamboo Mama, od koje svi mi nastalo deset tisuća godina prije. Meni na riječ!"	"From that, lyin' back in the Middibamboo Sump, all sort o' thing crawl. It put out hand, it put out feet, it put out tongue an' horn an' it grow. Little bitty amoeba, perhap. Then a frog with a bulgethroat fit ta bust! Yah!" He cracked knuckles. "It slobber on up to its gummy joints and it--it AM HUMAN! That am the center of creation! That am Middibamboo Mama, from which we all come ten thousand year ago. Believe it!"
"Prije deset tisuća godina!" prošaptala je Bakica Karanfil.	"Ten thousand year ago!" whispered Granny Carnation.
"To sam stara! Vi'te me to! I glava to više ne boli. To znam posao. To visim kao meso u mast. To ima oko gledam s njim, al ne trepćem s njim, to ne gledam ljuto, istina? Ne, ljudi! Znam ta to. To znam mi svi došli iz to, mi svi natrag ići to."	"It am old! Looky it! It donn worra no more. It know betta. It hang like pork chop in fryin' fat. It got eye to see with, but it donn blink 'em, they donn look fretted, does they? No, man! It know betta. It know that we done come from it, and we is goin' back to it."
"A kakve su joj boje oči?"	"What color eyes it got?"
"Sive."	"Gray."
"Ma jok, zelene!"	"Naw, green!"
"Koje boje kosa? Smeđa?"	"What color hair? Brown?"
"Crna!"	"Black!"
"Crvena!"	"Red!"
"Ne, siva."	"No, gray!"
I tada bi Charlie izrekao svoje unjkavo mišljenje. Jedne bi večeri rekao jedno, druge večeri drugo. Ali to i nije bilo važno. Kad se u kasno ljetno veče iz dana u dan govori isto, to uvijek zvuči drukčije. Jer cvrčci mijenjaju priču. Jer je mijenjaju žabe. Jer je mijenja ono u teglici. Charlie je rekao:	Then Charlie would give his drawling opinion. Some nights he'd say the same thing, some nights not. It didn't matter. When you said the same thing night after night in the deep summer, it always sounded different. The crickets changed it. The frogs changed it. The thing in the jar changed it. Charlie said:
"Recimo da neki stari ode u močvaru, ili možda neki klinjo, i onda luta godinama i godinama, izgubljen u svoj toj vodurini, na svim tim stazama i bogazama i vododerinama, u tim starim mokrim gudurama u noći, a koža mu problijedi, i sav je smrznut i trese se. I kako ga sunce ne grije, on se počinje sažimati u se, sažimati u se, i na koncu propadne u blato, u rupu i leži kao u... hračku... kao ličinka komarca kad spava u gnojnici. Pa mislim, mislim, po onome što mi znamo, to bi mogao biti i netko poznati! Netko s kim smo nekad izmijenili pokoju riječ. Po onome što mi znamo..."	"What if an old man went back into the swamp, or maybe a young kid, and wandered aroun' for years and years lost in all that drippin', on the trails and gullies, in them old wet ravines in the nights, skin a turnin' pale, and makin' cold and shrivelin' up. Bein' away from the sun he'd keep witherin' away up and up and finally sink into a muck-hole and lay in a kind of--scum--like the maggot 'skeeters sleepin' in sump-water. Why, why--for all we can tell, this might be someone we know! Someone we passed words with once on a time. For all we know--"
Šuškanje među ženskadijom tamo iz mraka. Jedna žena ustaje, i oko joj sjaji crninom, i muči se da nađe prave riječi. Zove se gospođa Tridden, i mrmlja:	A hissing from among the womenfolk back in the shadow. One woman standing, eyes shining black, fumbled for words. Her name was Mrs. Tridden, and she murmured:
"Mnoga dječica svake godine otrče u močvaru gola kao od majke rođena. Pa trčkaraju, trčkaraju, i nikad se više ne vrate kući. I ja sam se skoro izgubila. I... izgubila tako svog malog, Foleyja. Ti... ti VALJDA NE MISLIŠ!!!"	"Lots of little kids run stark naked to the swamp ever' year. They runs around and never comes back. I almost got lost maseif. I--I lost my little boy, Foley, that way. You--you DON'T SUPPOSE! ! !"
Kroz nosnice je čalabrcnula zrak, a onda ih skupila, stegla. Usta su joj se spustila na krajevima, izvijena tvrdim, grčevitim mišićem. Glave su se okrenule kao na stabljikama celera, a oči pročitale njen užas i nadu. Tijelo gospođe Tridden, napeto kao čelična žica, držalo se ispruženim, ukočenim prstima za zid iza njezinih leđa.	Breath was snatched through nostrils, constricted, tightened. Mouths turned down at corners, bent by hard, clinching muscle. Heads turned on celery-stalk necks, and eyes read her horror and hope. It was in Mrs. Tridden's body, wire-taut, holding to the wall back of her with straight fingers stiff.
"Moja beba", prošaptala je. I zatim sve u jednom dahu izbacila iz sebe. "Moj mali. Moj Foley. Foley! Foley, jesi to ti? Foley! Foley, reci mi, malo moje, jesi to TI!"	"My baby," she whispered. She breathed it out. "My baby. My Foley. Foley! Foley, is that you? Foley! Foley, tell me, baby, is that YOU!"
Svi su zadržali dah i okrenuli se teglici.	Everybody held their breath, turning to see the jar.
A ta stvar u teglici nije rekla ni riječi. Ona je samo slijepo i bijelo zurila u mnoštvo. A duboko u koštunjavim tijelima sokovi su tajnih strahova zažuborili kao potočići za proljetnoga kopnjenja, a onda su ti sokovi izgrizli i pojeli i otopili sav njihov odlučan mir, vjeru i opuštenu skromnost i skupa s njima prerasli u bujicu! Netko je vrisnuo.	The thing in the jar said nothing. It just stared blind-white out upon the multitude. And deep in rawboned bodies a secret fear juice ran like a spring thaw, and their resolute calmness and belief and easy humbleness was gnawed and eaten by that juice and melted away in a torrent! Someone screamed.
"Mrdnuo se!"	"It moved!"
"Ne, ne, nije se mrdnuo. Varaju te oči!"	"No, no, it didn' move. Just your eyes playin' tricks!"
"Tako mi Boga!" uskliknuo je Juke. "Vidio sam kako se polako mrdnulo, kao mrtvo mače!"	"Hones' ta God!" cried Juke. "I saw it shift slow like a dead kitten!"
"Daj dosta. To je već mrtvo čitavu vječnost. Možda prije nego što si se ti rodio!"	"Hush up, now. It's been dead a long, long time. Maybe since before you was born!"
"Dalo mi je znak!" vrisnula je gospođa Tridden. 'To je moj Foley! To si našao mog malog! Imao je tri godine! Moj se mali izgubio i odlutao u močvaru!"	"He made a sign!" screamed Mrs. Tridden. "That's my Foley! My baby you got there! Three-year-old he was! My baby lost and gone in the swamp!"
Iz nje se izvilo glasno jecanje.	The sobbing broke from her.
"No dajte, gospođo Tridden. No, no, dajte. Smirite se malo, nemojte se samo toliko tresti. Vašeg malog više nema. No dajte, dajte."	"Now, Mrs. Tridden. There now. Set yourself down, stop shakin'. Ain't no more your child'n mine. There, there."
Jedna ju je od ženskadije zagrlila pa je jecanje jenjalo u istrzano disanje i treperenje usana brzinom leptirskoga krila, usana maženih dahom što je, prepadnut, izlazio preko njih.	One of the womenfolk held her and faded out the sobbing into jerked breathing and a fluttering of her lips in butterfly quickness as the breath stroked over them, afraid.
Kad se opet sve smirilo, Bakica Karanfil, s uvehlim ružičastim cvijetom u sijedoj kosi što joj se spuštala do ramena, zasisala je lulu svojom pravom stupicom od usta, pa progovorila oko kamiša, tresući pritom glavom tako žestoko da joj je na svjetlu zaplesala kosa:	When all was quiet again, Granny Carnation, with a withered pink flower in her shoulder-length gray hair, sucked the pipe in her trap mouth and talked around it, shaking her head to make the hair dance in the light:
"Sve s' to prazne priče prosipanje riječi. Sva zgoda mi nikad nećemo otkriti, nikad doznati što to je. Pa ako i doznamo, sva je zgoda nećemo htjeti shvatiti. To kao onaj čiribu-čiriba u cirkusu. Jednom shvatiš podvalu, nema više radosti u srcu sinka Janka. Skupljamo se tute, dat će Bog, već deset večeri, Bog zna, pa naklapamo, društveni život, te priče, stalno nešto drobimo, da se nešto priča. Pamet u glavu: ako iznjušimo što je ta prokietinja, o čemu ćemo žvačati, da!"	"All this talkin' and shovin' words. Like as not we'll never find out, never know what it is. Like as not if we found out we wouldn't want to know. It's like magic tricks magicians do at shows. Once you find the fake, ain't no more fun'n the innards of a jackbob. We come collectin' around here every ten nights or so, talkin', social-like, with somethin', always somethin', to talk about. Stands to reason if we spied out what the damn thing is there'd be nothin' to chew about, so there!"
"Pa mislim, prokletog mu crnog vraga!" zabrujao je bikovski glas. "To nije ništa!"	"Well, damn it to hell!" rumbled a bull voice. "I don't think it's nothin'!"

Tom Carmody.	Tom Carmody.
Tom Carmody što je, kao i uvijek, stajao u sjeni. Vani na verandi, iz mraka mu vire samo oči, a usne ti se smiju u brk, iz tame, posprdno. Njegov se smijeh zabio u Charlieja poput stršljenova žalca. Ma Thedy ga je na to potkubala. Thedy pokušava zatući Charliejev novi život, eto što joj je na pameti!	Tom Carmody standing, as always, in shadow. Out on the porch, just his eyes staring in, his lips laughing at you dimly, mocking. His laughter got inside Charlie like a hornet sting. Thedy had put him up to it. Thedy was trying to kill Charlie's new life, she was!
"Ništa", ponovio je Carmody hrapavim glasom, "u toj tegli nema baš nište, nego je to samo hrpa starih, crknutih meduza iz Sea Covea, smrdljiva i trula, prava stvar za budale!"	"Nothin'," repeated Carmody, harshly, "in that jar but a hunch of old jellyfish from Sea Cove, a rottin' and stinkin' fit to whelp!"
"Da slučajno nisi ljubomoran, rodijače Carmody?" upitao gaje Charlie sasvim polako.	"You mightn't be jealous, Cousin Carmody?" asked Charlie, slow.
"Ha!" otfrknuo je Carmody. "Samo sam vas svratio gledati, glupe budale, kako razvaljujete laloke pred ničim. Vidiš da nisam unutra ni stupio nogom niti se u što petljam. A sad idem kući. Hoće mi netko praviti društvo?"	"Haw!" snorted Carmody. "I just come aroun' ta watch you dumb fools jaw about nuthin'. You notice I never set foot inside or took part. I'm goin' home right now. Anybody wanna come along with me?"
Topogledno nije dočekao nijednu ponudu. Nasmijao se još jednom, kao da je to još veći štos, da toliko ljudi može toliko skrenuti, a Thedy je, duboko u kutu sobe, noktima zagrabljala dlan. Charlie je vidio kako su joj se trznula usta i najednom je postalo hladno a on ostao bez riječi.	He got no offer of company. He laughed again, as if this were a bigger joke, how so many people could be so far gone, and Thedy was raking her palms with her fingernails away back in a corner of the room. Charlie saw her mouth twitch and was cold and could not speak.
Carmody je pak, i dalje se smijući, zakuckao po verandi čizmama s visokim potpeticama, a onda ga je odnijelo cvrčanje cvrčaka.	Carmody, still laughing, rapped off the porch with his highheeled boots and the sound of crickets took him away.
Bakica Karanfil čvrsto je desnima stegnula lulu. "Baš kao što rekoh prije oluje: to na polici, zašto to ne bi bilo - sve? Mnogo toga. Sve vrste života - smrti - što ja znam. Pomiješaj kišu i sunce i šmrklje i hladetinu, sve to skupa. Trava i zmije i djeca, i magla i sve noći i dani u mrtvom trstiku. Zašto bi to moralo biti jedno? Možda je toga više."	Granny Carnation gummed her pipe. "Like I was sayin' before the storm: that thing on the shelf, why couldn't it be sort of--all things? Lots of things. All kinds of life--death--I don't know. Mix rain and sun and muck and jelly, all that together. Grass and snakes and children and mist and all the nights and days in the dead canebrake. Why's it have to be one thing? Maybe it's lots."
I tako je tihi razgovor potrajao još jedan sat, a Thedy je otklizila u noć tragom Toma Carmodyja, i Charlie se počeo preznojavati. Nešto je njima na pameti, njima dvoma. Oni nešto snuju. Charlie se čitav ostatak večeri preznojavao vrućim znojem...	And the talking ran soft for another hour, and Thedy slipped away into the night on the track of Tom Carmody, and Charlie began to sweat. They were up to something, those two. They were planning something. Charlie sweated warm all the rest of the evening. . . .
Društvo se razišlo kasno, i Charlie je legao u postelju obuzet najrazličitijim osjećajima. Sastanak je dobro prošao, ali što je s Thedy i Tomom?	The meeting broke up late, and Charlie bedded down with mixed emotions. The meeting had gone off well, but what about Thedy and Tom?
Vrlo kasno, kad su izvjesna zvjezdana jata već toliko kliznula niz nebo, da je bilo očito da je ponoć prošla, Charlie je začuo šuškanje visoke trave razmicane njenim uzbibanim bokovima. Petice su joj tiho zakuckale preko verande, pa kroz kuću, pa do spavaonice.	Very late, with certain star coveys shuttled down the sky marking the time as after midnight, Charlie heard the slushing of the tall grass parted by her penduluming hips. Her heels tacked soft across the porch, into the house, into the bedroom.
Sad je nečujno ležala u krevetu i mačjim očima zurila u nj. On ih nije vidio, ali je osjećao kako zure.	She lay soundlessly in bed, cat eyes staring at him. He couldn't see them, but he could feel them staring.
"Charlie?"	"Charlie?"
On je počekao.	He waited.
Pa rekao: "Budan sam."	Then he said, "I'm awake."
Sad je počekala ona.	Then she waited.
"Charlie?"	"Charlie?"
"Što?"	"What?"
"Kladim se da ne znaš gdje sam bila; kladim se da ne znaš gdje sam bila." Bila je to slabašna, podrugljiva pjesmica u noći.	"Bet you don't know where I been; bet you don't know where I been." It was a faint, derisive singsong in the night.
On je čekao.	He waited.
Ponovno je počekala i ona. Ona ipak nije mogla podnijeti toliko čekanje, pa je nastavila:	She waited again. She couldn't bear waiting long, though, and continued:
"Bila sam u luna-parku u Cape Cityju. Tom Carmody, on me je odvezao. I mi smo - pričali smo s gazdom, Charlie, zbilja, zbilja, sigurno jesmo!" I sad se nekako zahihotala u sebi, potajno.	"I been to the carnival over in Cape City. Tom Carmody drove me. We--we talked to the carny-boss, Charlie, we did, we did, we sure did!" And she sort of giggled to herself, secretly.
Charlie je bio hladan kao led. Promeškoljio se i digao na lakat.	Charlie was ice-cold. He stirred upright on an elbow.
A ona je rekla: "I otkrili smo, Charlie, što je to u tvojoj teglici..." Insinuirajući.	She said, "We found out what it is in your jar, Charlie--" insinuatingly.
Charlie se samo skljokao, i dlanovima pritisnuo uši.	Charlie flumped over, hands to ears. "I don't wanna hear!"
"Ne želim čuti!" "Ali, jao, Charlie, moraš to čuti. Kako dobar štos! O, Charlie, prava poslastica", prosiktala je.	"Oh, but you gotta hear, Charlie. It's a good joke. Oh, it's rare, Charlie," she hissed.
"Odlazi", rekao je on.	"Go away," he said.
"Uh-uh! Ne, ne, mili moj, Charlie. Mislim, ne, Charlie - Ljubavi. Ne dok ti ne velim!"	"Unh-unh! No, no, sir, Charlie. Why, no, Charlie--Honey. Not until I tell!"
"Goni se!" rekao je on.	"Git!" he said.
"Ali neka ti velim! Pričali smo s tim gazdom, i on - umro je od smijeha. Rekao je kako je tu teglicu i što je bilo u njoj prodao nekom, nekom - balvanu - za dvanaest baksi. A ne vrijedi, da se ubiješ, ni dvije!"	"Let me tell! We talked to that carny-boss, and he--he liked to die laughin'. He said he sold that jar and what was in it to some, some--hick--for twelve bucks. And it ain't worth more'n two bucks at most!"

Izravno iz njezinih usta u mrak se rascvjetao smijeh, jedna užasna vrsta smijeha.	Laughter bloomed in the dark, right out of her mouth, an awful kind of laughter.
I onda je završila, i onda brzo:	She finished it, quick:
"Charlie, to je golo smeće! Guma, razmočeni papir, svila, vata, borna kiselina! I to je sve! I unutra ima metalni kostur! I to je čitava priča, moj Charlie. To je sve!" prodorno je zakričala.	"It's just junk, Charlie! Rubber, papier-maché, silk, cotton, boric-acid! That's all! Got a metal frame inside! That's all it is, Charlie. That's all!" she shrilled.
"Ne, ne!"	"No, no!"
Hitro se uspravio, i svojim krupnim prstima silovito razdvojio posteljinu.	He sat up swiftly, ripping sheets apart in big fingers, roaring.
"Ne želim slušati! Ne želim slušati!" zaurlao je bezbroj puta.	"I don't wanna hear! Don't wanna hear!" he bellowed over and over.
Našto je ona rekla: "Čekaj samo dok svi čuju za podvalu! Puknut će od smijeha! Izletjet će im pluća!"	She said, "Wait'll everyone hears how fake it is! Won't they laugh! Won't they flap their lungs!"
On ju je uhvatio za zglavke. "Ti ćeš im to reći?"	He caught her wrists. "You ain't gonna tell them?"
"Ta ne bi valjda, Charlie, htio da budem lažljivica?"	"Wouldn't wan me known as a liar, would you, Charlie?"
On ju je silovito odbacio od sebe.	He flung her off and away.
"Baš mi se nećeš skinuti s vrata? Prokleta musavico! Prljava, ljubomorna podmuklico, na sve što radim. Kad sam tu teglicu donio kući, tebi je pala zlatna kruna s glave. I nisi mogla oka sklopiti dok sve nisi upropastila!"	"Whyncha leave me alone? You dirty! Dirty jealous mean of ever'thing I do. I took shine off your nose when I brung the jar home. You didn' sleep right 'til you ruined things!"
Ona se nasmijala. "Onda neću reći nikome", odgovorila je.	She laughed. "Then I won't tell anybody," she said.
On se čvrsto zapiljio u nju. "Meni si upropastila svo veselje. I jedino me za to briga. A baš me boli hoćeš li reći i ostalima. Ja znam. I za mene tu više nikad neće biti veselja. Ti i taj Tom Carmody. Da mu bar prisjedne taj njegov smijeh. A ismijava me već godinama! I dobro, sad reci ostalima, svima drugima - da i ti imaš svoje veselje - !"	He stared at her. "You spoiled my fun. That's all that counted. It don't matter if you tell the rest. I know. And I'll never have no more fun. You and that Tom Carmody. I wish I could stop him laughin'. He's been laughin' for years at me! Well, you just go tell the rest, the other people, now--might as well have your fun--!"
Ljutito se ushodao, dohvatio teglicu tako žestoko da je u njoj zapljuskalo, i bio bi je zacijelo i tresnuo o pod, ali se onda prestao tresti i nježno je spustio na vižljasti stol. I onda se nadvio nada nj, i zajecao. Ako ostane bez toga, izgubio je čitav svijet. A gubi i Thedy. Iz mjeseca u mjesec plesala je sve dalje, i posprdno mu se cerila, sprdala se s njim. Kolike su već godine njeni bokovi bili njihalo kojim je mjerio vrijeme svojega života. Ali i drugi muškarci, navedimo samo Toma Carmodyja, svoje su vrijeme mjerili istim instrumentom.	He strode angrily, grabbed the jar so it sloshed, and would have flung it on the floor, but he stopped trembling, and let it down softly on the spindly table. He leaned over it, sobbing. If he lost this, the world was gone. And he was losing Thedy, too. Every month that passed she danced further away, sneering at him, funning him. For too many years her hips had been the pendulum by which he reckoned the time of his living. But other men, Tom Carmody, for one, were reckoning time from the same source.
Thedy je stajala i čekala da rastreska teglicu. Ali nije učinio to, nego ju je milovao i mazio i tako se polako smirio. Mislio je na duge, lijepe večeri prošloga mjeseca, te bogate večeri uz prijatelje i razgovor, i šetanje po sobi. Ako ništa drugo, bar je to bilo dobro.	Thedy stood waiting for him to smash the jar. Instead, he petted and stroked and gradually quieted himself over it. He thought of the long, good evenings in the past month, those rich evenings of friends and talk, moving about the room. That, at least, was good, if nothing else.
Polako se okrenuo prema Thedy. Ona je za nj zauvijek prestala postojati.	He turned slowly to Thedy. She was lost forever to him.
"Thedy, nisi ti išla u luna-park."	"Thedy, you didn't go to the carnival."
"Ne, išla sam."	"Yes, I did."
"Lažeš", odgovorio je on tiho.	"You're lyin'," he said, quietly.
"Ne, ne lažem!"	"No, I'm not!"
"U toj - u toj teglici mora biti nešto. Uz ono smeće, o kojem govoriš. Previše je ljudi, Thedy, koji vjeruju da je u njoj nešto. Ti protiv toga ne možeš ništa. A gazda parka, ako si s njim uopće i razgovarala, on ti je lagao." Charlie je duboko udahnuo, pa rekao: "Dođi amo, Thedy."	"This--this jar has to have somethin' in it. Somethin' besides the junk you say. Too many people believe there's somethin' in it, Thedy. You can't change that. The carny-boss, if you talked with him, he lied." Charlie took a deep breath and then said, "Come here, Thedy."
"Što hoćeš?" upitala je ona nadureno.	"What you want?" she asked, sullenly.
"Daj dođi amo."	"Come over here."
Koraknuo je prema njoj. "Dođi amo."	He took a step toward her. "Come here."
"Miči se od mene, Charlie."	"Keep away from me, Charlie."
"Thedy, samo bih ti volio nešto pokazati." Glas mu je bio tih, dubok i tvrdoglav. "Dođi, maco. Dođi maco, maco mala - MACO MIC!"	"Just want to show you something, Thedy." His voice was soft, low, and insistent. "Here, kittie. Here, kittie, kittie, kittie-- HERE KITTIE!"
* * *	* * *
Bilo je to jedne druge večeri, otprilike tjedan dana kasnije. Stigli su i Gramps Medknowe i Bakica Karanfil, a za njima su došli mladi Juke i gospođa Tridden i Jahdoo, onaj crnac. A za njima su opet došli i svi ostali, mladi i stari, slatki i kiseli, pa škripavo sjeli u stolce, svaki zadubljen u svoje misli, strahove, nade i pitanja. I nitko nije pogledao u svetište, i svi su samo tiho pozdravili Charlieja.	It was another night, about a week later. Gramps Medknowe and Granny Carnation came, followed by young Juke and Mrs. Tridden and Jahdoo, the colored man. Followed by all the others, young and old, sweet and sour, creaking into chairs, each with his or her thought, hope, fear, and wonder in mind. Each not looking at the shrine, but saying hello softly to Charlie.
Pričekali su da se skupe i ostali. Po sjaju njihovih očiju vidjelo se da svatko od njih u teglici vidi nešto drugo, nešto od života i onog blijedog života iza života, i života u smrti i smrti u životu, i da svatko ima svoju priču, svoju odgonetku, svoje obrise, poznate, stare ali nove.	They waited for the others to gather. From the shine of their eyes one could see that each saw something different in the jar, something of the life and the pale life after life, and the life in death and the death in life, each with his story, his cue, his lines, familiar, old but new.
Charlie je sjedio sam.	Charlie sat alone.

"Bok, Charlie." Netko je zirnuo u praznu spavaonicu. "Žena ti je opet otišla svojima?"	"Hello, Charlie." Somebody peered into the empty bedroom. "Your wife gone off again to visit her folks?"
"Je, zbrisala za Tennessee. Vraća se za dva tjedna. Ta kao da ima mrave u guzici. Znate je već."	"Yeah, she run for Tennessee. Be back in a couple weeks. She's the darndest one for runnin'. You know Thedy."
"Ta ženska, kad god treba skakati okolo, uvijek je prva."	"Great one for jumpin' around, that woman."
Tihi su glasovi pričali, pa posjedali, i tada, sasvim iznenada, na tamnu je verandu stupio i očima na skupljeni svijet bljesnuo - tko drugi nego Tom Carmody.	Soft voices talking, getting settled, and then, quite suddenly, walking on the dark porch and shining his eyes in at the people--Tom Carmody.
Tom Carmody je stajao pred vratima, koljena su mu klecala i podrhtavala, ruke su mu visjele niz bokove - zurio je u sobu. Tom Carmody ne usuđuje se ući. Tom Carmody otvorenih usta, ali bez smiješka. Usne mu vlažne i mlitave, nema smiješka. A lice mu bijelo kao kreda, kao da već dugo boluje.	Tom Carmody standing outside the door, knees sagging and trembling, arms hanging and shaking at his side, staring into the room. Tom Carmody not daring to enter. Tom Carmody with his mouth open, but not smiling. His lips wet and slack, not smiling. His face pale as chalk, as if it had been sick for a long time.
Gramps je podigao pogled na teglicu, pročistio grlo i rekao: "Mislim, nikad to prije nisam opazio. Da ima plave oči."	Gramps looked up at the jar, cleared his throat and said, "Why, I never noticed so definite before. It's got blue eyes."
"Oduvijek ih je imalo", rekla je bakica Karanfil.	"It always had blue eyes," said Granny Carnation.
"Ne", zakmezio je Gramps. "Ne, nije ih imalo. Zadnji su put bile smeđe." Žmirnuo je i pogledao malo više. "I još nešto - ima smeđu kosu. Ali prije je nije imalo!"	"No," whined Gramps. "No, it didn't. They was brown last time we was here." He blinked upward. "And another thing--it's got brown hair. Didn't have brown hair before!"
"Ne, ne, imalo je, imalo je", uzdahnula je gospođa Tridden.	"Yes, yes, it did," sighed Mrs. Tridden.
"Ne, nije!"	"No, it didn't!"
"Je, imalo je!"	"Yes, it did!"
Tom Carmody, drhtureći u ljetnoj noći, zureći u teglicu. Charlie, podižući pogled na nj, motajući cigaretu, vrlo ležerno, čista mirnoća, vrlo siguran i u svoj život i u svoje misli. Tom Carmody, koji sad u teglici vidi i koješta što još nikad nije vidio. Svi vide ono što žele vidjeti; sve misli dolaze u brzom pljusku:	Tom Carmody, shivering in the summer night, staring in at the jar. Charlie, glancing up at it, rolling a cigarette, casually, all peace and calm, very certain of his life and thoughts. Tom Carmody, alone, seeing things about the jar he never saw before. Everybody seeing what he wanted to see; all thoughts running in a fall of quick rain:
"Moj mali. Moja beba mala mala", misli gospođa Tridden.	"My baby. My little baby," thought Mrs. Tridden.
"Mozak!" misli Gramps.	"A brain!" thought Gramps.
Onaj obojeni trza prstima. "Middibamboo Mama!"	The colored man jigged his fingers. "Middibamboo Mama!"
Ribar pući usne. "Meduza!"	A fisherman pursed his lips. "Jellyfish!"
"Maco! Ovamo maco, mic, mic, mic!" U Jukeovim su očima utopljene pandžice. "Mačkica!"	"Kitten! Here kittie, kittie, kittie!" the thoughts drowned clawing in Juke's eyes. "Kitten!"
"Sve i ništa!" zavrištale su bakičine smežurane misli. "Noć, močvara, smrt, bljeduljci, mokre stvari iz mora!"	"Everything and anything!" shrilled Granny's weazened thought. "The night, the swamp, death, the pale things, the wet things from the sea!"
Tišina. A onda je Gramps prošaptao: "Sve se pitam. Pitam se je li to on - ili ona - ili samo obično staro ono?"	Silence. And then Gramps whispered, "I wonder. Wonder if it's a he--or a she--or just a plain old it?"
Charlie je podigao pogled, zadovoljan prijemom, sve nabijajući duhan u cigaretu, i oblikujući je za svoja usta. A onda je pogledao Toma Carmodyja, koji se više nikad neće nasmiješiti, u vratima. "To vjerojatno nikad nećemo doznati. Da, mislim da nećemo." Charlie je polako odmahnuo glavom, pa se smjestio među goste, sve gledajući, gledajući.	Charlie glanced up, satisfied, tamping his cigarette, shaping it to his mouth. Then he looked at Tom Carmody, who would never smile again, in the door. "I reckon we'll never know. Yeah, I reckon we won't." Charlie shook his head slowly and settled down with his guests, looking, looking.
Bila je to samo jedna od onih stvari što se drže u teglici, u šatoru drugorazrednih atrakcija u predgrađu male, pospane kasabe. Jedan od onih bljeduljaka što plutaju u alkoholnoj plazmi, što vječno snivaju i kruže, dignutih vjeđa i s mrtvim očima što stalno zure u tebe, a nikada te ne vide...	It was just one of those things they keep in a jar in the tent of a sideshow on the outskirts of a little, drowsy town. One of those pale things drifting in alcohol plasma, forever dreaming and circling, with its peeled dead eyes staring out at you and never seeing you. . . .

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