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| OBITELJSKO PRELO | Homecoming |
| "Evo ih, idu", rekla je Cecy ležeći opružena u krevetu. | Here they come," said Cecy, lying there flat in her bed. |
| "Gdje su?" kliknuo je Timothy s vrata. | "Where are they?" cried Timothy from the doorway. |
| "Neki su nad Europom, drugi nad Azijom, neki nad Otočjem, neki nad Južnom Amerikom!" odgovorila je Cecy zatvorenih očiju, a trepavice su joj bile duge, smeđe i treperave. | "Some of them are over Europe, some over Asia, some of them over the Islands, some over South America!" said Cecy, her eyes closed, the lashes long, brown, and quivering. |
| Timothy je stupio na gole daske sobe na katu. "Tko su oni?" | Timothy came forward upon the bare plankings of the upstairs room. "Who are they?" |
| "Stric Einar i stric Fry, a i rođak William, a vidim i Fruldu i Helgar i tetu Morgianu i rođaka Viviana i vidim strica Johanna! Svi nam brzo dolaze!" | "Uncle Einar and Uncle Fry, and there's Cousin William, and I see Frulda and Helgar and Aunt Morgiana and Cousin Vivian, and I see Uncle Johann! They're all coming fast!" |
| "Jesu li gore na nebu?" uskliknuo je Timothy i bljesnuo sivim očicama. Dok je tako stajao uz krevet,nije se doimao ništa starijim od svojih četrnaest godina. Vani je puhao vjetar, i kuća je bila mračna i osvijetljena samo zvijezdama. | "Are they up in the sky?" cried Timothy, his little gray eyes flashing. Standing by the bed, he looked no more than his fourteen years. The wind blew outside, the house was dark and lit only by starlight. |
| "Dolaze kroz zrak i putuju uz tlo, u mnogo oblika", rekla je Cecy u snu. Nije se micala; svojim se mislima okrenula vlastitoj nutrini i sad im je pričala sve što vidi. "Vidim nešto vukoliko kako dolazi preko tamne rijeke - preko plićaka - odmah iznad slapa, a na krznu mu se presijavaju zvijezde. I vidim smeđe hrastovo lišće otpuhano daleko u nebo. I vidim malog šišmiša u letu. I vidim mnoga druga stvorenja što jure kroz šumske krošnje i provlače se kroz najviše granje; i sve to dolazi ovamo!" | "They're coming through the air and traveling along the ground, in many forms," said Cecy, in her sleeping. She did not move on the bed; she thought inward on herself and told what she saw. "I see a wolflike thing coming over a dark river--at the shallows--just above a waterfall, the starlight shining up his pelt. I see a brown oak leaf blowing far up in the sky. I see a small bat flying. I see many other things, running through the forest trees and slipping through the highest branches; and they're all coming this way!" |
| "Hode li sutra uveče biti tu?" Timothy je grčevito stisnuo posteljinu. Pauk na njegovu reveru zazibao se kao crno njihalo, u ushićenu plesu. Nadvio se nad sestru. "Hoće li stići na vrijeme za obiteljsko prelo?" | "Will they be here by tomorrow night?" Timothy clutched the bedclothes. The spider on his lapel swung like a black pendulum, excitedly dancing. He leaned over his sister. "Will they all be here in time for the Homecoming?" |
| "Hoće, hoće, Timothy, da", uzdahnula je Cecy. A onda se ukrutila. "Nemojte me više ništa pitati. Sad idite. Dajte mi da otputujem na najdraža mi mjesta." | "Yes, yes, Timothy, yes," sighed Cecy. She stiffened. "Ask no more of me. Go away now. Let me travel in the places I like best." |
| "Hvala, Cecy", odgovorio je on. Kad se našao u hodniku, potrčao je do svoje sobe. Žurno sije namjestio krevet. Probudio se tek pred nekoliko minuta, u smiraj, a kad su se digle prve zvijezde, pošao je iskazati svoj ushit zbog prijema što ga je organizirala Cecy. A sad je spavala tako tiho da od nje nije bilo ni zvuka. Dok se umivao, oko vitkog mu je vrata na srebrenome lasu visio pauk. "De pomisli, Pauko, sutra je, kad sunce zađe, Noć vještica!" Podigao je lice i pogledao se u zrcalo. | "Thanks, Cecy," he said. Out in the hail, he ran to his room. He hurriedly made his bed. He had just awakened a few minutes ago, at sunset, and as the first stars had risen, he had gone to let his excitement about the party run with Cecy. Now she slept so quietly there was not a sound. The spider hung on a silvery lasso about Timothy's slender neck as he washed his face. "Just think, Spid, tomorrow night is Allhallows Eve!" He lifted his face and looked into the mirror. |
| Bilo je to jedino u kući dopušteno ogledalo. Bio je to majčin ustupak njegovoj bolesti. O, da ga bar toliko ne muči! Otvorio je usta i pogledao jadne, neprikladne zube kojim ga je narav bila obdarila. Ništa bolji od zrna kukuruza - okrugli, meki i blijedi u čeljustima. Nešto je od dobrog raspoloženja smjesta umrlo u njemu. | His was the only mirror allowed in the house. It was his mother's concession to his illness. Oh, if only he were not so afflicted! He opened his mouth, surveyed the poor, inadequate teeth nature had given him. No more than so many corn kernels--round, soft and pale in his jaws. Some of the high spirit died in him. |
| Sad se već bio spustio potpuni mrak, pa je upalio svijeću. Osjećao se iscrpljeno. Prošlog je tjedna čitava obitelj živjela u stilu stare domaje. Danju bi spavali, a u smiraj se budili i počinjali roštati. Pod očima su mu bile plave šupljine. "Pauko, nije mi dobro", rekao je sitnome stvorenjcu tihanim glasom. "Ne mogu se čak ni priviknuti da spavam danju, kao i svi ostali." | It was now totally dark and he lit a candle to see by. He felt exhausted. This past week the whole family had lived in the fashion of the old country. Sleeping by day, rousing at sunset to move about. There were blue hollows under his eyes. "Spid, I'm no good," he said, quietly, to the little creature. "I can't even get used to sleeping days like the others." |
| Podigao je svijećnjak. O, kad bi bar imao jake zube s očnjacima poput čeličnih šiljaka. Ili čak jake ruke, ili jak um. Ili da čak posjeduje moć da vlastiti um pošalje da slobodno luta, kao što je to činila Cecy. Ali ne, on je bio onaj nesavršeni, onaj bolesni. On se - primakao je plamen svijeće i sav se stresao - čak bojao mraka. Njegova su mu se braća podsmjehivala. Bion i Leonard i Sam. Smijali su mu se jer je spavao u krevetu. S Cecy je bilo drugo; njezin je krevet bio dio komfora nužan da bi se postigla staloženost potrebna za slanje uma vani, u lov. | He took up the candleholder. Oh, to have strong teeth, with incisors like steel spikes. Or strong hands, even, or a strong mind. Even to have the power to send one's mind out, free, as Cecy did. But, no, he was the imperfect one, the sick one. He was even--he shivered and drew the candle flame closer--afraid of the dark. His brothers snorted at him. Bion and Leonard and Sam. They laughed at him because he slept in a bed. With Cecy it was different; her bed was part of her comfort for the composure necessary to send her mind abroad to hunt. |
| Ali Timothy, da li i on spava u prekrasnim politiranim sanducima kao i ostali? Ne, on to ne čini! Mati mu je dopustila da ima samo svoj krevet, samo svoju sobu, samo svoje ogledalo. Nije onda ni čudo da ga je obitelj obilazila kao svečevo raspelo. Kad bi mu bar iz lopatica izbila krila. Ogolio je leđa i zapiljio se. I ponovno uzdahnuo. Nema šanse. Nikada. | But Timothy, did he sleep in the wonderful polished boxes like the others? He did not! Mother let him have his own bed, his own room, his own mirror. No wonder the family skirted him like a holy man's crucifix. If only the wings would sprout from his shoulder blades. He bared his back, stared at it. And sighed again. No chance. Never. |
| Odozdo su se začuli uzbudljivi i misteriozni zvukovi, skliski se crni krep digao u svim dvoranama i na stropovima i vratima. Pucketanje upaljenih tankih crnih voštanica u ograđenom stubištu. Majčin glas, visok i čvrst. Očev glas, što odzvanja iz memljiva podruma. Bion što ulazi izvana u staru seosku kuću tegleći goleme krčage od dva galona. | Downstairs were exciting and mysterious sounds, the slithering black crape going up in all the halls and on the ceilings and doors. The sputter of burning black tapers in the banistered stair well. Mother's voice, high and firm. Father's voice, echoing from the damp cellar. Bion walking from outside the old country house lugging vast two-gallon jugs. |
| "Pauko, ja naprosto moram na tu zabavu", rekao je Timothy. Pauk se vrtio na kraju svilene niti, i Timothy se osjetio sam. On će uglancati sanduke, donijeti muhare i pauke, objesiti krep, ali kad zabava počne, njega više nitko neće ni pogledati. Za tog manjkavoga sina najbolje je da ga se što manje i čuje i vidi. | "I've just got to go to the party, Spid," said Timothy. The spider whirled at the end of its silk, and Timothy felt alone. He would polish cases, fetch toadstools and spiders, hang crape, but when the party started he'd be ignored. The less seen or said of the imperfect son the better. |
| A dolje je Laura protrčala kroz čitavu kuću. | All through the house below, Laura ran. |
| "Obiteljsko prelo!" vikala je veselo. "Obiteljsko prelo!" Njezini su koraci odjednom bili posvuda. | "The Homecoming!" she shouted gaily. "The Homecoming!" Her footsteps everywhere at once. |
| Timothy je ponovno prošao kraj Cecyne sobe, no ona je spavala mirno. Jednom bi se mjesečno spuštala niza stube. Uvijek bi bila u krevetu. Dražesna Cecy. Osjećao je želju da je upita: "Gdje si sada, Cecy? I u kome? I što se zbiva? Jesi li iza brda? I što se ondje zbiva?" Ali je umjesto toga produžio do Ellenine sobe. | Timothy passed Cecy's room again, and she was sleeping quietly. Once a month she went below-stairs. Always she stayed in bed. Lovely Cecy. He felt like asking her, "Where are you now, Cecy? And in who? And what's happening? Are you beyond the hills? And what goes on there?" But he went on to Ellen's room instead. |
| Ellen je sjedila za pisaćim stolom i razvrstavala svakovrsne plave, crvene i crne dlake, kao i sitne demeskinje nokata što ih je skupljala radeći kao maniker u kozmetičkom salonu u Mellin Villageu, petnaest milja odavde. U jednom je kutu stajala robusna mahagonijska škrinja, i na njoj je bilo napisano njezino ime. | Ellen sat at her desk, sorting out many kinds of blonde, red and black hair and little scimitars of fingernails gathered from her manicurist job at the Mellin Village beauty parlor fifteen miles over. A sturdy mahogany case lay in one corner with her name on it. |
| "Odlazi", rekla je a da ga nije ni pogledala. "Ne mogu raditi dok mi tu zijaš." | "Go away," she said, not even looking at him. "I can't work with you gawking." |
| "Noć vještica, Svisveti, Ellen; de pomisli!" rekao je on, trudeći se da bude prijazan. | "Allhallows Eve, Ellen; just think!" he said, trying to be friendly. |
| "Hnh!" Stavila je nekoliko odrezanih nokata u bijelu vrećicu, pa je označila. "Što to tebi znači? Što ti o tome znaš? Uplašit će i crnog vraga u tebi. Vrati se u krevet." | "Hunh!" She put some fingernail clippings in a small white sack, labeled them. "What can it mean to you? What do you know of it? It'll scare hell out of you. Go back to bed." |
| Njemu su planuli obrazi. "Kad moram glancati i raditi i pomagati u serviranju." | His cheeks burned. "I'm needed to polish and work and help serve." |
| "Ako sad ne odeš, sutra ćeš u krevetu naći tucet sirovih kamenica", rekla je Ellen kao da konstatira najnaravniju činjenicu. "Timothy, doviđenja." | "If you don't go, you'll find a dozen raw oysters in your bed tomorrow," said Ellen, matter-of-factiy. "Good-by, Timothy." |
| Sjurivši se bijesno niza stube, zabio se u Lauru. | In his anger, rushing downstairs, he bumped into Laura. |
| "Pazi kamo ideš!" zakriještala je ona kroz stisnute zube. | "Watch where you're going!" she shrieked from clenched teeth. |
| On ju je pomeo u stranu. Potrčao je prema otvorenim podrumskim vratima i nanjušio kanal vlažnog zemljanog zraka što se dizao odozdo. "Oče?" | She swept away. He ran to the open cellar door, smelled the channel of moist earthy air rising from below. "Father?" |
| "Bliži se čas", viknuo je otac uza stube. "Daj požuri dolje, ili će stići prije nego budemo spremni!" | "It's about time," Father shouted up the steps. "Hurry down, or they'll be here before we're ready!" |
| Timothy je zastao tek koliko je bilo dovoljno da začuje milijun drugih zvukova u kući. Braća su dolazila i odlazila poput vlakova na kolodvoru; pričali su i prepirali se. Ako bi se na jednome mjestu zadržao dovoljno dugo, pred njim bi prošli svi ukućani s blijedim rukama prepunim stvari. Leonard sa svojom crnom liječničkom torbicom, Samuel s velikom, prašnjavom knjižurinom u uvezu od ebanovine pod mišicom, i s novim tovarom crnoga krepa, a i Bion, koji bi stalno odlazio na izlete van, do automobila, da unese još mnoge galone tekućine. | Timothy hesitated only long enough to hear the million other sounds in the house. Brothers came and went like trains in a station, talking and arguing. If you stood in one spot long enough the entire household passed with their pale hands full of things. Leonard with his little black medical case, Samuel with his large, dusty ebon bound book under his arm, bearing more black crape, and Bion excursioning to the car outside and bringing in many more gallons of liquid. |
| Otac je prestao glancati pa Timothyju predao krpu i uputio mu mrgodan pogled. Duhnuo je u golemi mahagonijski sanduk. "Idemo, daj da se ovo sjaji, pa da prijeđemo na drugi. Prospavat ćeš čitav život." | Father stopped polishing to give Timothy a rag and a scowl. He thumped the huge mahogany box. "Come on, shine this up, so we can start on another. Sleep your life away." |
| Dok je laštio površinu, Timothy je pogledao unutra. | While waxing the surface, Timothy looked inside. |
| "Stric Einar je krupan čovjek, istina, tata?" | "Uncle Einar's a big man, isn't he, Papa?" |
| "Unh." | "Unh." |
| "Koliko je on velik?" | "How big is he?" |
| "To valjda vidiš po sanduku." | "The size of the box'll tell you." |
| "Samo sam pitao. Dva i deset?" | "I was only asking. Seven feet tall?" |
| "Puno pričaš." | "You talk a lot." |
| Oko devet sati Timothy je izišao u listopadsko vrijeme. I dva je sata, sad po toplom, sad po hladnom vjetru šetao livadama i skupljao otrovne gljive i pauke. Srce mu je ponovno jače zakucalo od radosnog očekivanja. Što ono reče mati, koliko će rodbine doći? Sedamdeset? Stotinu? Prošao je kraj kuće na farmi. Kad biste samo znali što se kod nas zbiva, rekao je prozorima što su se žarili u noći. Uspeo se na brdo i pogledao grad, miljama dalek, što se spremao na san, i sat na gradskoj vijećnici, visok i kruglen, i bijel u daljini. Ni grad za to nije znao. Kući je donio mnogo teglica otrovnih gljiva i pauka. | About nine o'clock Timothy went out into the October weather. For two hours in the now-warm, now-cold wind he walked the meadows collecting toadstools and spiders. His heart began to beat with anticipation again. How many relatives had Mother said would come? Seventy? One hundred? He passed a farmhouse. If only you knew what was happening at our house, he said to the glowing windows. He climbed a hill and looked at the town, miles away, settling into sleep, the town-hall clock high and round white in the distance. The town did not know, either. He brought home many jars of toadstools and spiders. |
| U kapelici u suterenu održana je kratka ceremonija. Bila je slična svim drugim ritualima tečajem godina, i otac je pjevao mračne stihove, majčine lijepe bjelokosne ruke micale su se dijeleći naopake blagoslove, a bila su se okupila i sva djeca, s iznimkom Cecy, koja je ležala gore u postelji. No Cecy je ipak bila s njima. Vidjeli su je kako viri, sad iz Bionovih očiju, sad iz Samuelovih, sad iz majčinih, a onda bi u sebi osjetili nekakvo gibanje, jer bi se našla u njima, na kratak časak i već je ne bi bilo. | In the little chapel belowstairs a brief ceremony was celebrated. It was like all the other rituals over the years, with Father chanting the dark lines, mother's beautiful white ivory hands moving in the reverse blessings, and all the children gathered except Cecy, who lay upstairs in bed. But Cecy was present. You saw her peering, now from Bion's eyes, now Samuel's, now Mother's, and you felt a movement and now she was in you, fleetingly and gone. |
| Timothy se molio Onom Crnom, a želudac mu se sav zgrčio. "Molim te, molim, pomozi mi da narastem, pomozi mi da budem kao što su moja braća i sestre. Ne daj da budem drukčiji. Kad bih samo znao stavljati dlake u plastične likove, kao što to radi Ellen, ili postići da se u mene zaljubljuju, kao što to čini Laura, ili čitati čudne knjige, kao Sam, ili imao neko ugledno zvanje, poput Leonarda i Biona. Ili čak jednoga dana osnovati obitelj, kao što su to učinili otac i mati..." | Timothy prayed to the Dark One with a tightened stomach. "Please, please, help me grow up, help me be like my sisters and brothers. Don't let me be different. If only I could put the hair in the plastic images as Ellen does, or make people fall in love with me as Laura does with people, or read strange books as Sam does, or work in a respected job like Leonard and Bion do. Or even raise a family one day, as mother and father have done. . . ." |
| U ponoć je po kući začekićala oluja. Vani su tukle munje u zapanjujućim, sniježnobijelim žilama. Čulo se prilaženje, pipanje i srkanje tornada, koji je svojim lijevkom njuškao vlažnu noćnu zemlju. A onda je u kućna vrata grunulo tako silno da ih je napola izvalilo iz stožera, i dok su tako stajala, ukrućena i odbačena, u kuću su umarširali djed i bakica, koji su došli čak iz stare domaje! | At midnight a storm hammered the house. Lightning struck outside in amazing, snow-white bolts. There was a sound of an approaching, probing, sucking tornado, funneling and nuzzling the moist night earth. Then the front door, blasted half off its hinges, hung stiff and discarded, and in trooped Grandmama and Grandpapa, all the way from the old country! |
| A onda je svijet počeo pristizati iz sata u sat. Zazveketao bi bočni prozor, začulo se tuckanje na prednjoj verandi, kucanje sa stražnje strane. Iz podruma su dopirali zagrobni zvuci; jesenji je vjetar diplio kroz grlo dimnjaka, i otegnuo popijevao. Mati je veliku kristalnu zdjelu za punč napunila skrletnom tekućinom iz krčaga što ih je Bion bio donio u kuću. | From then on people arrived each hour. There was a flutter at the side window, a rap on the front porch, a knock at the back. There were fey noises from the cellar; autumn wind piped down the chimney throat, chanting. Mother filled the large crystal punch bowl with a scarlet fluid poured from the jugs Bion had carried home. |
| Otac je letio iz sobe u sobu i palio sve nove i nove voštanice. Laura i Ellen tucale su vučji korijen. A Timothy je stajao sred sveg tog divljeg uzbuđenja, bez ikakva izraza na licu, s drhtavim rukama ovješenim niz bokove, gledajući sad tu, sad tamo. Lupanje vratima, smijeh, klokotanje, tama, hukanje vjetra, paperjasta grmljavina krila, tapkanje nogu, eksplozije riječi dobrodošlice pri svačijem ulasku, prozirni zveket prozora, sjene što prolaze, dolaze, odlaze, trepere. | Father swept from room to room lighting more tapers. Laura and Ellen hammered up more wolfsbane. And Timothy stood amidst this wild excitement, no expression to his face, his hands trembling at his sides, gazing now here, now there. Banging of doors, laughter, the sound of liquid pouring, darkness, sound of wind, the webbed thunder of wings, the padding of feet, the welcoming bursts of talk at the entrances, the transparent rattlings of casements, the shadows passing, coming, going, wavering. |
| "Vidi, vidi, ovo je sigurno Timothy!" | "Well, well, and this must be Timothy!" |
| "Molim?" | "What?" |
| Mrazna ga je ruka uhvatila za ruku. Dugo dlakavo lice povilo se nada nj. "Dobar momčić, krasan momčić", rekao je neznanac. | A chilly hand took his hand. A long hairy face leaned down over him. "A good lad, a fine lad," said the stranger. |
| "Timothy", rekla je majka. | "Timothy," said his mother. |
| "Ovo je stric Jason." "Zdravo, striče Jason." "A ovo tu..." otplovila je mati sa stricom Jasonom. Stric Jason ga je pogledao preko pelerinom pokrivena ramena, pa mu namignuo. | "This is Uncle Jason." "Hello, Uncle Jason." "And over here--" Mother drifted Uncle Jason away. Uncle Jason peered back at Timothy over his caped shoulder, and winked. |
| Timothy je ostao sam. | Timothy stood alone. |
| Iz daljine od tisuću milja, iz svijećama ispunjene tmine, začuo je visoki glas, tanak i jasan kao u svirale; bila je to Ellen. "A moja braća, ti zbilja imaju soli. Daj pogodi, teta Morgania, čime se oni u životu bave?" | From off a thousand miles in the candled darkness, he heard a high fluting voice; that was Ellen. "And my brothers, they are clever. Can you guess their occupations, Aunt Morgiana?" |
| "Nemam ni najblažeg pojma." | "I have no idea." |
| "Oni u gradu imaju pogrebničku tvrtku." | "They operate the undertaking establishment in town." |
| "Kako!" Gutanje zraka. | "What!" A gasp. |
| "Da!" Vrištavi smijeh. "Zar nije da šizneš!" | "Yes!" Shrill laughter. "Isn't that priceless!" |
| Timothy je stajao posve nepomično. | Timothy stood very still. |
| Kratka stanka smijeha. "Svi oni donose u kuću, za mamu, tatu i sve nas", rekla je Laura. "Svi osim, naravno, Timothyja..." | A pause in the laughter. "They bring home sustenance for Mama, Papa and all of us," said Laura. "Except, of course, Timothy. . . ." |
| Nelagodna šutnja. Potom glas strica Jasona pita: "Daa? Ma nemoj. A što je s Timothyjem?" | An uneasy silence. Uncle Jason's voice demanded. "Well? come now. What about Timothy?" |
| "O, Laura, ti i tvoj jezik", rekla je majka. | "Oh, Laura, your tongue," said mother. |
| Laura je nastavila priču. Timothy je zatvorio oči. "Timothy ne... ovaj... on ne voli krv. Jako je osjetljiv." | Laura went on with it. Timothy shut his eyes. "Timothy doesn't--well--doesn't like blood. He's delicate." |
| "Naučit će se", rekla je mati. "Naučit će se", rekla je vrlo čvrstim glasom. "On je moj sin, pa će se naučiti. Ta tek mu je četrnaest godina." | "He'll learn," said mother. "He'll learn," she said very firmly. "He's my son, and he'll learn. He's only fourteen." |
| "Ali ja sam na tome odrastao", odgovorio je stric Jason, i glas mu je krenuo iz sobe u sobu. Vjetar je vani udarao u krošnje kao u harfu. Malo je kiše poškropilo prozore - "na tome odrastao" uminulo je u nečujnost. | "But I was raised on the stuff," said Uncle Jason, his voice passing from one room on into another. The wind played the trees outside like harps. A little rain spatted on the windows--"raised on the stuff," passing away into faintness. |
| Timothy se ugrizao za usnu i otvorio oči. | Timothy bit his lips and opened his eyes. |
| "Mislim, za sve sam ja kriva." Mati ih je sad uvodila u kuhinju. "Pokušavala sam ga natjerati. Ali djecu ne možeš ni na što prisiliti, od toga se mogu samo razboljeti, i onda nikad ne steknu ukus. A vidite Biona, njemu nije bilo ni trinaest kad je..." | "Well, it was all my fault." Mother was showing them into the kitchen now. "I tried forcing him. You can't force children, you only make them sick, and then they never get a taste for things. Look at Bion, now, he was thirteen before he . . ." |
| "Shvaćam", promrmljao je stric Jason. "Timothy će se već prilagoditi." | "I understand," murmured Uncle Jason. "Timothy will come around." |
| "Naravno da hoće", odgovorila je mati prkosno. | "I'm sure he will," said mother, defiantly. |
| U desetak su pljesnivih soba, kad bi prošle sjene, zatitrali plamenovi svijeća. Timothyju je bilo studeno. Osjetio je u nosnicama vrući loj i mahinalno dograbio svijeću i s njom u ruci pošao po kući, pretvarajući se da poravnava krep. | Candle flames quivered as shadows crossed and recrossed the dozen musty rooms. Timothy was cold. He smelled the hot tallow in his nostrils and instinctively he grabbed at a candle and walked with it around and about the house, pretending to straighten the crape. |
| "Timothy", prošaptao je netko iza ornamentiranoga zida, psičući i cvrčeći i uzdišući, "Timothy se boji mraka." | "Timothy," someone whispered behind a patterned wall, hissing and sizzling and sighing the words, "Timothy is afraid of the dark." |
| Leonardov glas. Glas mrskog Leonarda! | Leonard's voice. Hateful Leonard! |
| "Ja volim svijeće, i to je sve", odgovorio je Timothy prijekornim šaptom. | "I like the candle, that's all," said Timothy in a reproachful whisper. |
| Opet munje, opet grmljavina. Kaskade gromoglasnoga smijeha. Lupa i škljocanje i povici i šuškanje odjeće. Kroz kućna je vrata nasrnula ljepljiva magla. A iz magle, sklapajući krila, iskoračao je visok muškarac. | More lightning, more thunder. Cascades of roaring laughter. Bangings and clickings and shouts and rustles of clothing. Clammy fog swept through the front door. Out of the fog, settling his wings, stalked a tall man. |
| "Stric Einar!" | "Uncle Einar!" |
| Timothy je krenuo na tankim nogama, ravno kroz maglu i pod zelenim sjenama svojih platnenih krila. Bacio se Einaru na prsa. Einar ga je podigao. | Timothy propelled himself on his thin legs, straight through the fog, under the green webbing shadows. He threw himself across Einar's arms. Einar lifted him. |
| "Ti imaš krila, Timothy!" Bacio je dječaka lagana kao maslačak. "Krila, Timothy: poleti!" Pod njim su zakružila lica. Zavrtjela se tama. Nešto je otpuhnulo kuću. Učinilo mu se da se pretvorio u vjetrušinu. Zalamatao je rukama. Einarovi su ga prsti uhvatili i još ga jednom bacili pod strop. Strop je propao pod njima poput nagorjela zida. "Leti, Timothy!" kliknuo je Einar, glasno i duboko. "Leti krilima! Krilima!" | "You've wings, Timothy!" He tossed the boy light as thistles. "Wings, Timothy: fly!" Faces wheeled under. Darkness rotated. The house blew away. Timothy felt breezelike. He flapped his arms. Einar's fingers caught and threw him once more to the ceiling. The ceiling rushed down like a charred wall. "Fly, Timothy!" shouted Einar, loud and deep. "Fly with wings! Wings!" |
| Osjetio je silnu ekstazu u lopaticama, kao da mu izrasta korijenje, kao da mu se nadimaju da prsnu i procvjetaju u novu, vlažnu membranu. Probuncao je nesuvislosti; Einar ga je ponovno bacio u visinu. | He felt an exquisite ecstasy in his shoulder blades, as if roots grew, burst to explode and blossom into new, moist membrane. He babbled wild stuff; again Einar hurled him high. |
| Kiša je zamlatila, jesenji se vjetar oborio na kuću poput plimnoga vala, tresući gredama, i natjerao svijećnjake da nagnu pobješnjele plamenove svijeća. A stotinu je rođaka provirilo iz svih crnih, začaranih soba, i zakružilo prema središtu, u svim oblicima i veličinima, prema mjestu gdje je Einar u hukom ispunjenu prostoru balansirao dijete kao dirigentsku palicu. | The autumn wind broke in a tide on the house, rain crashed down, shaking the beams, causing chandeliers to tilt their enraged candle lights. And the one hundred relatives peered out from every black, enchanted room, circling inward, all shapes and sizes, to where Einar balanced the child like a baton in the roaring spaces. |
| "Dosta!" viknuo je Einar napokon. | "Enough!" shouted Einar, at last. |
| Timothy, spušten na daske poda, ushićeno je i iscrpljeno pao stricu Einaru na prsa, i zajecao od sreće. "Striče, striče, striče!" | Timothy, deposited on the floor timbers, exaltedly, exhaustedly fell against Uncle Einar, sobbing happily. "Uncle, uncle, uncle!" |
| "Je li ti bilo krasno letjeti? Ha, Timothy?" upitao je stric Einar, pa se nadvio nada nj i pogladio ga po kosi. "Bravo, bravo." | "Was it good, flying? Eh, Timothy?" said Uncle Einar, bending down, patting Timothy's head. "Good, good." |
| Već se bližila zora. Većina je već bila stigla, i sad su se spremali za postelju i dan, da prospavaju nepomično i bez zvuka sve do sljedećega sutona, kad će iz mahagonijskih sanduka poklicima zaiskati novu lumpačinu. | It was coming toward dawn. Most had arrived and were ready to bed down for the daylight, sleep motionlessly with no sound until the following sunset, when they would shout out of their mahogany boxes for the revelry. |
| Stric Einar, praćen desetima ostalih, krenuo je prema podrumu. Mati ih je uputila dolje, do pretrpanih redova i redova sjajno uglačanih sanduka. Einar, iza kojeg se dizao šator krila, kao skrojenih iz morskozelene cerade, išao je prolazom uz radoznalo zviždukanje; kad bi mu se krila dotakla, proizvela bi zvuk lakog udarca u bubanj. | Uncle Einar, followed by dozens of others, moved toward the cellar. Mother directed them downward to the crowded row on row of highly polished boxes. Einar, his wings like sea-green tarpaulins tented behind him, moved with a curious whistling down the passageway; where his wings touched they made a sound of drum heads gently beaten. |
| Na katu je Timothy ležao umoran i zamišljen, i pokušavao zavoljeti tamu. U mraku se dade učiniti toliko toga što ti ljudi ni ne mogu zamjeriti, jer te nikad ni ne vide. On je noć zapravo volio, ali je ta ljubav bila probirljiva: pokatkad bi te noći bilo toliko da bi buntovno kriknuo. | Upstairs, Timothy lay wearily thinking, trying to like the darkness. There was so much you could do in darkness that people couldn't criticize you for, because they never saw you. He did like the night, but it was a qualified liking: sometimes there was so much night he cried out in rebellion. |
| A u podrumu, mahagonijska su se vrata spustila i hermetički zatvorila, povučena blijedim rukama. U kutovima su neki rođaci napravili tri kruga pa legli, s glavama na šapama, i spuštenih vjeđa. Izišlo je sunce. I bi san. | In the cellar, mahogany doors sealed downward, drawn in by pale hands. In corners, certain relatives circled three times to lie, heads on paws, eyelids shut. The sun rose. There was a sleeping. |
| Smiraj. Veselica je prasnula kao gnijezdo šišmiša kad dobije pun pogodak, uz krikove, lepet krila, šireći se sve više. Poklopci sanduka uz prasak su se raskrilili. Iz podrumske su vlage poletjeli uza stube. Dočekani su i mnogi zakašnjeli gosti, što su lupali nogama o prednja i stražnja vrata. | Sunset. The revel exploded like a bat nest struck full, shrieking out, fluttering, spreading. Box doors banged wide. Steps rushed up from cellar damp. More late guests, kicking on front and back portals, were admitted. |
| Kišilo je, i promočeni su posjetitelji Timothyju na ruke odlagali pelerine, šešire sačmarene kišnim kapima i poškrapane koprene, i ovaj ih je odnosio u ormar. Sobe su bile pretrpane mnoštvom. Smijeh nekog rođaka, ispaljen iz jedne sobe, izvio bi se na zidu druge, rikošetirao, nagnuo se na krilo i u lupingu se iz četvrte sobe vratio u Timothyjevo uho, precizan i ciničan. | It rained, and sodden visitors laid their capes, their water-pelleted hats, their sprinkled veils upon Timothy who bore them to a closet. The rooms were crowd-packed. The laughter of one cousin, shot from one room, angled off the wall of another, ricocheted, banked and returned to Timothy's ears from a fourth room, accurate and cynical. |
| Preko poda je pretrčao miš. | A mouse ran across the floor. |
| "Prepoznajem te, nećače Leibersrouter!" doviknuo je otac svud oko njega ali ne i njemu. Deseci su ga nebodernih ljudi pritiskali, tukli ga laktovima, ne opažali ga. | "I know you, Niece Leibersrouter!" exclaimed father. The dozens of towering people pressed in against him, elbowed him, ignored him. |
| Na koncu se okrenuo i klisnuo uza stube. | Finally, he turned and slipped away up the stairs. |
| Tiho je zazvao. "Cecy. Gdje si sada, Cecy?" | He called softly. "Cecy. Where are you now, Cecy?" |
| Počekala je dugo i tek tada odgovorila. "U Carskoj dolini, u Califomiji", promrmljala je slabašnim glasom. "Na obali Saltonova mora, kraj blatnih gejzira i pare i mira. Sad sam u farmerovoj ženi. Sjedim na prednjoj verandi. Mogu je, ako želim, natjerati da se miče, da učini što zamislim i misli sve što mi padne na um. Sunce zalazi." | She waited a long while before answering. "In the Imperial Valley," she murmured faintly. "Beside the Salton Sea, near the mud pots and the steam and the quiet. I'm inside a farmer's wife. I'm sitting on a front porch. I can make her move if I want, or do anything or think anything. The sun's going down." |
| "I kakav je to osjećaj, Cecy?" | "What's it like, Cecy?" |
| "Čuje se pištanje blatnih gejzira", rekla je polako, kao da govori u crkvi. "Sitne se sive glave pare guraju kroz mulj, kao da se kroz gusti sirup dižu ćelavci, probijaju se čelom, sve do odvodnih kanala. Sive se glave razdiru kao gumeni baloni, pa se raspadaju uz šum cmokanja vlažnih usana. A iz razdrta se tkiva dižu paperjaste perjanice pare. A osjeća se i miris dubokog sulfuroznog izgaranja i staroga doba. Tu se već deset milijuna godina kuha dinosaur." | "You can hear the mud pots hissing," she said, slowly, as if speaking in a church. "Little gray heads of steam push up the mud like bald men rising in the thick syrup, head first, out in the boiling channels. The gray heads rip like rubber fabric, collapse with noises lilce wet lips moving. And feathery plumes of steam escape from the ripped tissue. And there is a smell of deep sulphurous burning and old times. The dinosaur has been abroiling here ten million years." |
| "Pa je li gotov?" | "Is he done yet, Cecy?" |
| "Da, gotov je. Sasvim gotov." Cecyne su se mirne usnule usne izvile prema gore. Mlitave su riječi polako padale iz usta koja su ih oblikovala. "Sad sam u glavi te žene, i gledam iz nje, gledam more što se ne miče, i tako je mirno da se čovjek uplaši. Sjedim na verandi i čekam da se muž vrati kući. Povremeno skoči riba, pa opet padne u vodu, a oko nje se šire zvjezdice. Dolina, more, nekoliko automobila, drvena veranda, moja stolica za ljuljanje, ja, tišina." | "Yes, he's done. Quite done." Cecy's calm sleeper's lips turned up. The languid words fell slowly from her shaping mouth. "Inside this woman's skull I am, looking out, watching the sea that does not move, and is so quiet it makes you afraid. I sit on the porch and wait for my husband to come home. Occasionally, a fish leaps, falls back, starlight edging it. The valley, the sea, the few cars, the wooden porch, my rocking chair, myself, the silence." |
| "I što sad, Cecy?" | "What now, Cecy?" |
| "Ustajem iz stolice za ljuljanje", odgovorila je. | "I'm getting up from my rocking chair," she said. |
| "Da?" | "Yes?" |
| "I sad silazim s verande, i idem prema blatnim gejzirima. Gore prelijeću avioni, kao kakve praiskonske ptice. I zatim je mir, takav mir." | "I'm walking off the porch, toward the mud pots. Planes fly over, like primordial birds. Then it is quiet, so quiet." |
| "Koliko ćeš još ostati u njoj?" | "How long will you stay inside her, Cecy?" |
| "Nakon što se naslušam, nagledam i naosjećam; nakon što joj nekako promijenim život. Silazim s verande i hodam po daskama. Noge mi udaraju o drvo, umorno, sporo." | "Until I've listened and looked and felt enough: until I've changed her life some way. I'm walking off the porch and along the wooden boards. My feet knock on the planks, tiredly, slowly." |
| "A sad?" | "And now?" |
| "Sad su svud oko mene sumporne pare. Zurim u mjehure dok pucaju i izravnavaju se. Kraj sljepoočice mi je proletjela ptica, kričeći. Najednom sam u ptici i letim od nje! I dok letim, u svom sitnom obličju, nalik na staklenu bobicu, vidim ženu ispod sebe, na pločniku, kako pravi korak, dva, tri i ulazi u blatni gejzir. Čujem zvuk kao da se u rastaljene dubine svalila kamenčina. Nastavljam letjeti, vraćam se u krugu. I vidim bijelu šaku, nalik na pauka, kako se migolji i nestaje u sivom bazenu lave. Lava se zatvara. I sad letim kući, brzo, brzo, brzo!" | "Now the sulphur fumes are all around me. I stare at the bubbles as they break and smooth. A bird darts by my temple, shrieking. Suddenly I am in the bird and fly away! And as I fly, inside my new small glass-bead eyes I see a woman below me, on a boardwalk, take one two three steps forward into the mud pots. I hear a sound as of a boulder plunged into molten depths. I keep flying, circle back. I see a white hand, like a spider, wriggle and disappear into the gray lava pool. The lava seals over. Now I'm flying home, swift, swift, swift!" |
| Nešto je žestoko zalupalo po prozoru, i Timothy se trznuo. | Something clapped hard against the window, Timothy started. |
| Cecy je zatreptala očima, širokim, sjajnim, punim, radosnim, ushićenim. | Cecy flicked her eyes wide, bright, full, happy, exhilarated. |
| "I sad sam kod kućel" rekla je. | "Now I'm home!" she said. |
| Nakon kratke stanke, Timothy se odvažio: "Počelo je obiteljsko prelo. I svi su tu." | After a pause, Timothy ventured, "The Homecoming's on. And everybody's here." |
| "Zašto smo onda tu gore?" Zatresla je glavom. "Dobro, pitaj me." Lukavo se nasmiješila. "Pitaj me ono zbog čega si došao." | "Then why are you upstairs?" She took his hand. "Well, ask me." She smiled slyly. "Ask me what you came to ask." |
| "Nisam došao ništa pitati", rekao je. "Mislim, skoro ništa. Mislim - o, Cecy!" Izletjelo je to iz njega u dugom, brzom toku. "Želio bih na zabavi izvesti nešto što će ih natjerati da me pogledaju, nešto što će me učiniti ravnim njima, nešto što će me učiniti jednim od njih, ali ne postoji ništa što bih mogao učiniti, i osjećam se tako glupo, mislim, i onda sam mislio da bi ti možda mogla..." | "I didn't come to ask anything," he said. "Well, almost nothing. Well--oh, Cecy!" It came from him in one long rapid flow. "I want to do something at the party to make them look at me, something to make me good as them, something to make me belong, but there's nothing I can do and I feel funny and, well, I thought you might . . ." |
| "Mogla bih", odgovorila je ona, zatvorila oči i nasmiješila se u sebi. "Sasvim se uspravi. I stoj sasvim mirno." On ju je poslušao. "A sad zatvori oči i isprazni sve misli." | "I might," she said, closing her eyes, smiling inwardly. "Stand up straight. Stand very still." He obeyed. "Now, shut your eyes and blank out your thought." |
| Stajao je sasvim uspravno i nije mislio ni o čemu, ili je bar mislio samo o tome kako ništa ne misli. | He stood very straight and thought of nothing, or at least thought of thinking nothing. |
| Ona je uzdahnula. "Hoćemo li sad poći dolje, Timothy?" Kao ruka u rukavicu, tako je i ona ušla u nj. | She sighed. "Shall we go downstairs now, Timothy?" Like a hand into a glove, Cecy was within him. |
| "Dajte pogledajte!" Timothy je digao čašu tople crvene tekućine. Digao ju je tako da se čitava kuća okrenula i pogledala ga. Tetke, stričevi, bratići, braća i sestre! | "Look everybody!" Timothy held the glass of warm red liquid. He held up the glass so that the whole house turned to watch him. Aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters! |
| Iskapio ju je jednim gutljajem. | He drank it straight down. |
| Trznuo je rukom prema sestri Lauri. Izdržao je njen pogled, pa joj prošaptao nježnim glasom od kojeg je ostala nijema, sleđena. Kad je krenuo prema njoj osećao se visok kao jablan. Zabava se sad usporila. Čekala je posvuda oko njega, i gledala ga. Iz vrata su svih soba virila lica. I nisu se smijala. Majčino je lice bilo zapanjeno. Tada se doimao zbunjeno, ali i obradovano i časimice sve ponosnije. | He jerked a hand at his sister Laura. He held her gaze, whispering to her in a subtle voice that kept her silent, frozen. He felt tall as the trees as he walked to her. The party now slowed. It waited on all sides of him, watching. From all the room doors the faces peered. They were not laughing. Mother's face was astonished. Dad looked bewildered, but pleased and getting prouder every instant. |
| Ugrizao je Lauru, vrlo nježno, u vratnu žilu. Plamenovi su se svijeća pijano zanjihali. Vjetar se vani u spirali uspinjao krovom. Rođaci su piljili sa svih vrata. Ubacio je muhare u usta, progutao ih, pa zalupao rukama po bokovima i zakružio. "Vidi, striče Einar! Znam letjeti, napokon!" Ruke su mu krenule u taktu. Gore-dolje pumpao je rukama. Mimo njega su bljesnula lica. | He nipped Laura, gently, over the neck vein. The candle flames swayed drunkenly. The wind climbed around on the roof outside. The relatives stared from all the doors. He popped toadstools into his mouth, swallowed, then beat his arms against his flanks and circled. "Look, Uncle Einar! Jean fly, at last!" Beat went his hands. Up and down pumped his feet. The faces flashed past him. |
| Kad je zalepetao na vrhu stepenica, začuo je majčin krik - "Timothy, daj prestani!" - iz velike dubine. "Hej!" viknuo je Timothy pa skočio s vrha stepenica, lamaćući. | At the top of the stairs flapping, he heard his mother cry, "Stop, Timothy!" far below. "Hey!" shouted Timothy, and leaped off the top of the well, thrashing. |
| Na pola puta najednom je otkrio da su se krila, za koja je vjerovao da ih ima, rasplinula. Kriknuo je. Stric Einar ga je uhvatio. | Halfway down, the wings he thought he owned dissolved. He screamed. Uncle Einar caught him. |
| Timothy je u zagrljaju, koji ga je dočekao, zamlatio rukama bijel od bijesa. Iz usta mu se izvio nezvani glas. "Ja sam Cecy! Ja sam Cecy! Dođite me vidjeti, svi vi, gore, prva soba lijevo!" Poslije čega je uslijedilo dugo ćurlikanje smijeha. Timothy ga je pokušao odsjeći jezikom. | Timothy flailed whitely in the receiving arms. A voice burst out of his lips, unbidden. "This is Cecy! This is Cecy! Come see me, all of you, upstairs, first room on the left!" Followed by a long trill of high laughter. Timothy tried to cut it off with his tongue. |
| Svi su se smijali. Einar ga je spustio na tlo. Dok su se rođaci uspinjali prema Cecynoj sobi da joj čestitaju, Timothy je potrčao kroz sve crnju tamu i s treskom otvorio kućna vrata. | Everybody was laughing. Einar set him down. Running through the crowding blackness as the relatives flowed upstairs toward Cecy's room to congratulate her, Timothy banged the front door open. |
| "Cecy, kako te mrzim, kako te mrzim!" | "Cecy, I hate you, I hate you!" |
| Kraj platane, u dubokoj sjeni, Timothy je povratio večeru, gorko zajecao i zamlatio rukama i nogama po hrpi jesenjeg lišća. I onda se umirio. Iz džepa bluze, iz zaštite što mu ga je pružalo utočište kutije za šibice, ispuzao je pauk. I krenuo duž Timothyjeve ruke. Pauko mu je istražio vrat i uho, a onda se uspeo u nj da ga malo poškaklje. Timothy je zatresao glavom. "Nemoj, Pauko. Nemoj." | By the sycamore tree, in deep shadow. Timothy spewed out his dinner, sobbed bitterly and threshed in a pile of autumn leaves. Then he lay still. From his blouse pocket, from the protection of the matchbox he used for his retreat, the spider crawled forth. Spid walked along Timothy's arm. Spid explored up his neck to his ear and climbed in the ear to tickle it. Timothy shook his head. "Don't, Spid. Don't." |
| Paperjasti dodir radoznalog ticala što mu je istraživalo bubnjić protjerao je Timothyju žmarce kroz kosti. | The feathery touch of a tentative feeler probing his eardrum set Timothy shivering. "Don't, Spid!" He sobbed somewhat less. |
| "Nemoj, Pauko!" Ali je sad već manje plakao. Pauk mu se zaputio niz obraz, zauzeo položaj pod nosom, podigao pogled prema nosnicama kao da traži mozak, a onda se meko uspeo do hrpta, pa sjeo, čučnuo i zagledao se u Timothyja svojim zelenim draguljnim očima, sve dok se Timothy nije ispunio grotesknim smijehom. "Daj idi, Pauko!" | The spider traveled down his cheek, took a station under the boy's nose, looked up into the nostrils as if to seek the brain, and then clambered softly up over the rim of the nose to sit, to squat there peering at Timothy with green gem eyes until Timothy filled with ridiculous laughter. "Go away, Spid!" |
| Timothy se uspravio, šuškajući lišćem. Zemlja je bila sjajna od mjesečine. Iz kuće su se, dok su se igrali zrcala, čule tihe bestidnosti. Slavljenici su ispuštali magleno prigušene povike, dok su pokušavali otkriti čiji se još odraz nije pojavio u zrcalu. | Timothy sat up, rustling the leaves. The land was very bright with the moon. In the house he could heard the faint ribaldry as Mirror, Mirror was played. Celebrants shouted, dimly muffled, as they tried to identify those of themselves whose reflections did not, had not ever appeared in a glass. |
| "Timothy." Krila strica Einara raširila su se i zatrzala i prišla mu uz lupu talambasa. Timothyje osjetio kako ga je istrgnuo kao napršnjak i položio na ramena. "Ne drži se tako pokislo, nećačeTimothy. Svaki za sebe, svaki na svoj način. Koliko je tebi sve bolje. Koliko bogatije. A svijet je za nas mrtav. Vidjeli smo ga i previše, vjeruj mi. Život je najljepši onima koji ga najmanje žive. I na kilo vrijedi više, Timothy, to ne zaboravi." | "Timothy." Uncle Einar's wings spread and twitched and came in with a sound like kettledrums. Timothy felt himself plucked up like a thimble and set upon Einar's shoulder. "Don't feel badly, Nephew Timothy. Each to his own, each in his own way. How much better things are for you. How rich. The world's dead for us. We've seen so much of it, believe me. Life's best to those who live the least of it. It's worth more per ounce, Timothy, remember that." |
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| Ostatak crnoga jutra, od ponoći nadalje, stric Einar ga je vodio po kući, iz sobe u sobu, ljuljajući se i pjevajući. Horda novopridošlih ponovno je pokrenula veselje. Bila je tu i pra-prapra-pra i još tisuću puta pra-pra-baka, umotana u egipatske mrtvačke povoje. Ona sama nije rekla ni riječi, nego je samo stajala ravno kao nagorjela daska za glačanje, prislonjena uza zid, a u praznim joj se dupljama skupljalo daleko, mudro, nijemo svjetlucanje. Za doručkom, u četiri ujutro, okotisućputprabaku kruto su posjeli na čelo najdužega stola. | The rest of the black morning, from midnight on, Uncle Einar led him about the house, from room to room, weaving and singing. A horde of late arrivals set the entire hilarity off afresh. Great-great-great-great and a thousand more great-greats Grandmother was there, wrapped in Egyptian cerements. She said not a word, but lay straight as a burnt ironing board against the wall, her eye hollows cupping a distant, wise, silent glimmering. At the breakfast, at four in the morning, one-thousand-odd-greats Grandmama was stiffly seated at the head of the longest table. |
| Mnogobrojni mladi rođaci pijančevali su kraj kristalne zdjele za punč. Njihove sjajne oči, nalik na košticu masline, njihova stožasta, đavolasta lica i kovrčava brončana kosa, lebdjeli su nad stolom s pićem, a kad su počeli tonuti u stanje neugodnog, mrgodnog pijanstva, njihova su se tvrdo-meka, napol djevojačka, napol momačka tijela počela hrvati jedno s drugim. Podigao se žestok vjetar, zvijezde su gorjele plamenom žestinom, buka se podvostručila, plesovi su se ubrzali, lokanje je postalo ozbiljnije. Pred Timothyjem je bilo tisuću stvari koje je želio čuti i vidjeti. Mnoga se crnina uzmutila i zapjenila se, mnoga su lica došla i otišla... | The numerous young cousins caroused at the crystal punch bowl. Their shiny olive-pit eyes, their conical, devilish faces and curly bronze hair hovered over the drinking table, their hard-soft, half-girl halfboy bodies wrestling against each other as they got unpleasantly, sullenly drunk. The wind got higher, the stars burned with fiery intensity, the noises redoubled, the dances quickened, the drinking became more positive. To Timothy there were thousands of things to hear and watch. The many darknesses roiled, bubbled, the many faces passed and repassed. |
| "Slušaj!" | "Listen!" |
| Društvo je zadržalo dah. U velikoj daljini gradski je sat lupao svoje otkucaje, javljao da je šesti sat. Zabava je pošla svome kraju. U ritmu s udarcima sata, njihova je stotina glasova zapjevala pjesme četiri stoljeća stare, pjesme koje Timothy nije ni mogao znati. Ruke su se spojile i tako, polako se okrećući, oni su pjevali, dok je negdje u dalekoj daljini jutra gradski sat dovršavao svoje otkucaje i na koncu uminuo. | The party held its breath. Far away the town clock struck its chimes, saying six o'clock. The party was ending. In time to the rhythm of the striking clock, their one hundred voices began to sing songs that were four hundred years old, songs Timothy could not know. Arms twined, circling slowly, they sang, and somewhere in the cold distance of morning the town clock finished out its chimes and quieted. |
| Timothy je pjevao. Nije znao ni riječi, ni melodiju, pa ipak su i riječi i melodija ispali zaobljeni i glatki i dobri. I tad je pogledao u zatvorena vrata na vrhu stepenica. | Timothy sang. He knew no words, no tune, yet the words and tune came round and high and good. And he gazed at the closed door at the top of the stairs. |
| "Hvala ti, Cecy", prošaptao je. "Oprošteno ti je. Hvala." | "Thanks Cecy," he whispered. "You're forgiven. Thanks." |
| I onda se samo opustio, i pustio riječima da same poteku, Cecynim glasom, s njegovih usana. | Then he just relaxed and let the words move, with Cecy's voice, free from his lips. |
| Izrečeni su pozdravi, a onda je došlo do velikog šuškanja. Otac i mati stajali su na vratima pa se naizmjence rukovali i ljubili sa svakim rođakom na odlasku. Nebo u otvorenim vratima već se obojilo na istoku. Unišao je studeni vjetar. A Timothy je osjećao kao zaposjeda jedno tijelo za drugim i u njemu se nastanjuje, osjećao je kako ga Cecy utiskuje stricu Fryu u glavu, tako da je sad gledao iz lica od naborane štavljene kože, a onda je poskočio u pršcu lišća i digao se iznad kuće i brda što su tek sneno otvarala oči... | Good-bys were said, there was a great rustling. Mother and Father stood at the door to shake hands and kiss each departing relative in turn. The sky beyond the open door colored in the east. A cold wind entered. And Timothy felt himself seized and settled in one body after another, felt Cecy press him into Uncle Fry's head so he stared from the wrinkled leather face, then leaped in a flurry of leaves up over the house and awakening hills. . . . |
| A onda, kaskajući niz zemljanu cestu, osjećao je kako mu gore crvene oči, krzna obrubljena jutrom, dok je u rođaku Williamu dahtao kroz prazninu i rasplinjavao se u daljinu... | Then, loping down a dirt path, he felt his red eyes burning, his fur pelt rimed with morning, as inside Cousin William he panted through a hollow and dissolved away. |
| Kao šljunčić u ustima strica Einara, Timothy je uletio u paučinu groba, paučinu što je premrežila nebo. I onda se vratio, ovaj put za stalno, u svoje tijelo. | Like a pebble in Uncle Einar's mouth, Timothy flew in a webbed thunder, filling the sky. And then he was back, for all time, in his own body. |
| U sve svjetlijoj zori, onih nekoliko zadnjih uzvanika još se grlilo i plakalo i mislio o tome kako svijet za njih postaje sve neprikladnijim mjestom. Bilo je i vremena kad su se sastajali svake godine, a sad bi prošla i desetljeća bez obiteljskog izmirenja. | In the growing dawn, the last few were embracing and crying and thinking how the world was becoming less a place for them. There had been a time when they had met every year, but now decades passed with no reconciliation. "Don't forget," someone cried, "we meet in Salem in 1970!" |
| "Ne zaboravite", viknuo je netko, "vidimo se u Salemu 197O!" Salem. Timothyjeva je otupjela svijest počela preokretati te riječi. Salem, 197O. I tu će opet biti i stric Fry i tusućostruka prabaka u svom izlizanom mrtvačkom pokrovu, i majka, i otac, i Ellen, i Laura, i Cecy i svi ostali. No hoće li biti i on? Može li biti siguran da će preživjeti do tog dana? | Salem. Timothy's numbed mind turned the words over. Salem, 1970. And there would be Uncle Fry and a thousand-times-great Grandmother in her withered cerements, and Mother and Father and Ellen and Laura and Cecy and all the rest. But would he be there? Could he be certain of staying alive until then? |
| U još jednoj posljednjoj, posustaloj eksploziji radosti, svi oni odoše, s toliko rubaca, toliko tih lepršavih sisavaca, uz toliko svenutih listova, toliko cvileža i Sumornoga rojenja, s toliko ponoći i ludila i snova. | With one last withering blast, away they all went, so many scarves, so many fluttery mammals, so many sere leaves, so many whining and clustering noises, so many midnights and insanities and dreams. |
| Mati je zatvorila vrata. Laura je dohvatila metlu. "Ne", rekla je mati. "Spremat ćemo noćas. A sad idemo spavati." I tako je Obitelj nestala dolje u podrum i gore na kat. A Timothy je otišao u krepom zasutu dvoranu, oborene glave. Dok je prolazio kraj zrcala, postavljena baš za tu zgodu, ugledao je blijedu smrtnost svojega lica, svu promrzlu i uzdrhtalu. | Mother shut the door. Laura picked up a broom. "No," said Mother. "We'll clean tonight. Now we need sleep." And the Family vanished down cellar and upstairs. And Timothy moved in the crape-littered hall, his head down. Passing a party mirror, he saw the pale mortality of his face all cold and trembling. |
| "Timothy", rekla je mati. | "Timothy," said Mother. |
| Prišla je i rukom mu dotakla lice. "Sine", rekla je. "Mi te volimo. To nemoj nikad zaboraviti. Mi te svi volimo. Bez obzira koliko si drukčiji, bez obzira na to što ćeš jednoga dana možda otići od nas." Poljubila ga je u obraz. "A ako ili kada umreš, nitko ti neće kosti prekretati, za to ćemo se mi pobrinuti. Zauvijek ćeš ležati u miru, a ja ću ti dolaziti na svaku Noć vještica da ti namjestim posteljinu." Kuća je bila tiha. A u daljini, vjetar je prešao brdo, odnoseći posljednji tovar crnih šišmiša, jeku njihovih glasova, i cvrkut. | She came to touch her hand on his face. "Son," she said, "we love you. Remember that. We all love you. No matter how different you are, no matter if you leave us one day." She kissed his cheek. "And if and when you die, your bones will lie undisturbed, we'll see to that. You'll lie at ease forever, and I'll come visit every Allhallows Eve and tuck you in the more secure." The house was silent. Far away the wind went over a hill with its last cargo of dark bats, echoing, chittering. |
| Timothy je pošao uza stube, grabeći jednu po jednu, i svo vrijeme plakao sebi u bradu. | Timothy walked up the steps, one by one, crying to himself all the way. |