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| KALEIDOSKOP | Kaleidoscope |
| Prvi udar preseče raketu po strani džinovskim otvaračem za konzerve. Ljudi su bili izbačeni u prostor kao pregršt zakoprcanih srebrnih ribica. Bili su razbacani u tamno more; razbijen u bezbroj komada, brod se kretao dalje, kao roj meteora u potrazi za izgubljenim suncem. | THE first concussion cut the rocket up the side with a giant can opener. The men were thrown into space like a dozen wriggling silverfish. They were scattered into a dark sea; and the ship, in a million pieces, went on, a meteor swarm seeking a lost sun. |
| "Barkli, Barkli, gde si?" | “Barkley, Barkley, where are you?” |
| Glasovi su zvali kao izgubljena deca u hladnoj noći. "Vude, Vude." | The sound of voices calling like lost children on a cold night. |
| "Kapetane!" | “Woode, Woode!” |
| "Holise, Holise, ovde Stoun." | “Captain!” |
| "Stoune, ovde Holis. Gde si ti?" | “Hollis, Hollis, this is Stone.” |
| "Ne znam. Kako da znam? Kako se ide gore? Ja padam. Blagi bože, padam." | “Stone, this is Hollis. Where are you?” “I don’t know. How can I? Which way is up? I’m falling. Good God, I’m falling.” |
| Padali su. Padali su kao što šljunak pada niz bunar. Bili su rasejani kao piljci bačeni iz džinovske vrteške. I sada su umesto ljudi bili samo glasovi - svi mogući glasovi, rastavljeni od tela i uzbuđeni, na raznim stepenima strave i rezignacije. | They fell. They fell as pebbles fall down wells. They were scattered as jackstones are scattered from a gigantic throw. And now instead of men there were only voices—all kinds of voices, disembodied and impassioned, in varying degrees of tenor and resignation. |
| "Udaljujemo se jedan od drugog." | “We’re going away from each other.” |
| To je bila istina. Holis, koji se prevrtao preko glave, znao je da je to tačno. Shvatio je to i neodređeno prihvatio. Rastajali su se svaki svojim odvojenim putem i ništa ih ne može vratiti nazad. Nosili su hermetički zatvorena kosmonautska odela sa staklenim cevima iznad bledih lica, ali nisu imali vremena da se prikopčaju na svoje energetske jedinice. Sa njima bi mogli predstavljati male čamce za spasavanje u vasioni, mogli bi spasavati sebe, spasavati druge; sakupljati se, nalaziti jedan drugog, sve dok ne budu ostrvo ljudi sa nekim planom. Ali bez pogonskih jedinica prikopčanih za ramena bili su meteori, bez života, svaki na putu ka svojoj odvojenoj i neopozivoj sudbini. | This was true. Hollis, swinging head over heels, knew this was true. He knew it with a vague acceptance. They were parting to go their separate ways, and nothing could bring them back. They were wearing their sealed-tight space suits with the glass tubes over their pale faces, but they hadn’t had time to lock on their force units. With them they could be small lifeboats in space, saving themselves, saving others, collecting together, finding each other until they were an island of men with some plan. But without the force units snapped to their shoulders they were meteors, senseless, each going to a separate and irrevocable fate. |
| Prođe možda deset minuta dok ne zamre prvi užas i zameni ga metalna hladnoća. Svemir poče da snuje svojim čudnim glasovima uzduž i popreko, na velikom tamnom razboju, preplićući i preplićući do konačne slike. | A period of perhaps ten minutes elapsed while the first terror died and a metallic calm took its place. Space began to weave its strange voices in and out, on a great dark loom, crossing, recrossing, making a final pattern. |
| "Stoun Holisu. Koliko dugo možemo govoriti telefonom?" | “Stone to Hollis. How long can we talk by phone?” |
| "Zavisi od toga koliko brzo ti ideš svojim putem, a ja svojim." | “It depends on how fast you’re going your way and I’m going mine. |
| "Jedan sat, mislim." | “An hour, I make it.” |
| "Tako nekako", reče Holis, odsutna duha i smiren. | “That should do it,” said Hollis, abstracted and quiet. |
| "Šta se dogodilo?" zapita Holis trenutak kasnije. | “What happened?” said Hollis a minute later. |
| "Raketa je eksplodirala, to je sve. Rakete eksplodiraju." | “The rocket blew up, that’s all. Rockets do blow up.” |
| "Kojim pravcem ti ideš?" | ‘Which way are you going?” |
| "Izgleda kao da ću udariti u mesec." | “It looks like I’ll hit the moon.” |
| "A ja o Zemlju. Vraćam se staroj Majci Zemlji brzinom od deset hiljada milja na sat. Izgoreću kao šibica." Holis pomisli na to sa čudnom odsutnošću duha. Kao da je bio premešten iz svog tela, i posmatrao ga kako pada sve dublje kroz prostor, objektivan kao što je bio jedne davne zime prema prvim snežnim pahuljicama. | “It’s Earth for me. Back to old Mother Earth at ten thousand miles per hour. I’ll burn like a match.” Hollis thought of it with a queer abstraction of mind. He seemed to be removed from his body, watching it fall down and down through space, as objective as he had been in regard to the first falling snowflakes of a winter season long gone. |
| Ostali su ćutali, mislili na sudbinu koja ih je dovela do ovoga, da padaju, padaju, mislili kako nema ničega što bi mogli da učine da to izmene. Čak je i kapetan zaćutao, jer nije postojalo nikakvo naređenje niti plan za koje je znao da bi mogli da opet sastave stvari u jedno. | The others were silent, thinking of the destiny that had brought them to this, falling, falling, and nothing they could do to change it. Even the captain was quiet for there was no command or plan he knew that could put things back together again. |
| "Oh, daleko je do dole. Oh, to je daleko dole, daleko, daleko, daleko dole", reče jedan glas. "Ja ne želim da umrem, ne želim da umrem, to je daleko dole." | “Oh, it’s a long way down. Oh, it’s a long way down, a long, long, long way down,” said a voice. “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, it’s a long way down.” |
| "Ko je to?" | "Who's that?” |
| "Ne znam." | “I don’t know.” |
| "Stimson, mislim. Stimsone, jesi to ti?" | “Stimson, I think. Stimson, is that you?” |
| "To je daleko, daleko i ne dopada mi se. Oh, Bože dopada mi se." | “It’s a long, long way and I don’t like it. Oh, God, I don’t like it.” |
| "Stimsone, ovde Holis. Stimsone, čuješ li me?" | “Stimson, this is Hollis. Stimson, you hear me?” |
| Ćutanje, dok su padali odvojeni jedan od drugog. | A pause while they fell separate from one another. |
| "Stimsone?" | “Stimson?” |
| "Da." Najzad odgovori. | “Yes.” He replied at last. |
| "Stimsone, polako; svi smo u istom škripcu." | “Stimson, take it easy; we’re all in the same fix.” |
| "Ne želim da budem ovde. Želim da budem negde drugde." | “I don’t want to be here. I want to be somewhere else.” |
| "Ima šanse da nas nađu." | “There’s a chance we’ll be found.” |
| "Mene moraju naći; mene moraju", reče Stimson. "Ovo ne verujem; ne verujem da se išta od ovoga događa." | “I must be, I must be,” said Stimson. “I don’t believe this; I don’t believe any of this is happening.” |
| "To je ružan san", reče neko. | “It’s a bad dream,” said someone. |
| "Zaveži!" reče Holis. | “Shut up!” said Hollis. |
| "Dođi pa me nateraj da zavežem", reče glas. To je bio Eplgeit. Zasmeja se komotno, sa sličnom objektivnošću. "Dođi i ućutkaj me." | “Come and make me,” said the voice. It was Applegate. He laughed easily, with a similar objectivity. “Come and shut me up.” |
| Holis po prvi put oseti nemogućnost svog položaja. Ispuni ga velika ljutnja, jer je u tom trenutku više od svega želeo da bude u stanju da napravi nešto Eplgeitu. Već mnogo godina želeo je da učini nešto, a sada je bilo i suviše kasno. Eplgeit je bio samo jedan telefonski glas. | Hollis for the first time felt the impossibility of his position. A great anger filled him, for he wanted more than anything at this moment to be able to do something to Applegate. He had wanted for many years to do something and now it was too late. Applegate was only a telephonic voice. |
| Padanje, padanje, padanje... | Falling, falling, falling |
| Evo, kao da su otkrili užas, dvojica od ljudi počeše da vrište. U košmaru, Holis vide jednog od njih kako pluta u prolazu, veoma blizu, kako vrišti i vrišti. | Now, as if they had discovered the horror, two of the men began to scream. In a nightmare Hollis saw one of them float by, very near, screaming and screaming. |
| "Zaustavi ovo!" Čovek mu je bio gotovo na dohvat ruke, i sumanuto je vriskao. Nikada neće prestati. Vriskaće i dalje još milion milja, sve dok bude u radijusu radio veze, uznemiravaće ih sve, onemogućujući im da razgovaraju jedan s drugim. | “Stop it!” The man was almost at his fingertips, screaming insanely. He would never stop. He would go on screaming for a million miles, as long as he was in radio range, disturbing all of them, making it impossible for them to talk to one another. |
| Holis se ispruži. Tako je bilo najbolje. Učini onaj dodatni napor i dotače čoveka. Ščepa ga za nožni članak i uspuza se naviše duž tela dok mu ne stiže do glave. Čovek je vriskao i pobesnelo se čupao, kao plivač koji se davi. Vasiona je bila ispunjena vriskom. | Hollis reached out. It was best this way. He made the extra effort and touched the man. He grasped the man’s ankle and pulled himself up along the body until he reached the head. The man screamed and clawed frantically, like a drowning swimmer. The screaming filled the universe. |
| Ovako ili onako, mislio je Holis. Ubiće ga Mesec, ili Zemlja ili meteori, pa onda zašto da to ne bude sada? | One way or the other, thought Hollis. The moon or Earth or meteors will kill him, so why not now? |
| Svojom železnom pesnicom razmrska čovekovu staklenu masku. Vrištanje prestade. On se odbi od tela i pusti ga da dalje pada svojim putem okrećući se oko sebe. | He smashed the man’s glass mask with his iron fist. The screaming stopped. He pushed off from the body and let it spin away on its own course, falling. |
| Padajući, padajući svemirom, Holis i ostali stupiše u dugo, beskrajno spuštanje i kovitlac tišine. | Falling, falling down space Hollis and the rest of them went in the long, endless dropping and whirling of silence. |
| "Holise, jesi još tu?" | “Hollis, you still there?” |
| Holis ne progovori, ali oseti kako mu vrućina udari u lice. | Hollis did not speak, but felt the rush of heat in his face. |
| "Ovde opet Eplgeit." | “This is Applegate again.” |
| "U redu, Eplgeite." | “All right, Applegate.” |
| "Hajde da razgovaramo. Nemamo šta drugo da radimo." | “Let’s talk. We haven’t anything else to do.” |
| Kapetan se umeša u razgovor. "Dosta s tim. Moramo da smislimo kako da se izvučemo iz ovoga." | The captain cut in. “That’s enough of that. We’ve got to figure a way out of this.” |
| "Kapetane, što ne umuknete?" reče Eplgeit. | “Captain, why don’t you shut up?” said Applegate. |
| "Šta!" | “What!” |
| "Čuli ste me, kapetane. Ne nabijaj mi na nos tvoj čin, već si se odmakao deset hiljada milja, i ne zavitlavajmo se. Što reče Stimson, daleko je do dole." | “You heard me, Captain. Don’t pull your rank on me, you’re ten thousand miles away by now, and let’s not kid ourselves. As Stimson puts it, it’s a long way down.” |
| "Ma nemoj, Eplgeite!" | “See here, Applegate!” |
| "Zajebi ti to. Ovo je pobuna jednoga. Nemam ja šta da izgubim. Tvoj brod je bio loš brod, a ti si bio loš kapetan i nadam se da ćeš se razlupati kad udariš o Mesec." | “Can it. This is a mutiny of one. I haven’t a damn thing to lose. Your ship was a bad ship and you were a bad captain and I hope you break when you hit the Moon.” |
| "Naređujem ti da prestaneš!" | “I’m ordering you to stop!” |
| "Nastavi, naredi mi opet." Eplgeit se osmehnu preko deset hiljada milja. Kapetan je ćutao. Eplgeit produži: "Gde smo ono stali, Holise? A da, sećam se. I ja tebe mrzim. Ali ti to znaš. Znaš već dugo." | “Co on, order me again.” Applegate smiled across ten thousand miles. The captain was silent. Applegate continued, “Where were we, Hollis? Oh yes, I remember. I hate you too. But you know that. You’ve known it for a long time.” |
| Holis stište pesnice, bespomoćno. | Hollis clenched his lists, helplessly. |
| "Hoću nešto da ti kažem", reče Eplgeit. "Da te usrećim. Ja sam bio onaj koji je glasao protiv tebe kod Raketne kompanije pre pet godina." | “I want to tell you something,” said Applegate. “Make you happy. I was the one who blackballed you with the Rocket Company five years ago. |
| Jedan meteor blesnu u prolazu. Holis pogleda naniže, leva šaka mu je nestala. Šiknu krv. Odjednom mu u odelu nestade vazduha. Imao je dovoljno vazduha u plućima da pređe desnom rukom i zavrne jedno dugme kod levog lakta, čime pričvrsti patrljak i zapečati otvor kroz koji je cureo vazduh. To se toliko brzo desilo, da nije ni bio iznenađen. Ništa ga više nije iznenađivalo. Sada kada je rupa bila zapušena vazduh u odelu u trenu se vrati u normalu. A krv koja je tako brzo tekla bila je potiskivana dok je on još jače zavrtao dugme, sve dok od njega ne napravi kompresivnu povesku. | A meteor flashed by. Hollis looked down and his left hand was gone. Blood spurted. Suddenly there was no air in his suit. He had enough air in his lungs to move his right hand over and twist a knob at his left elbow, tightening the joint and sealing the leak. It had happened so quickly that he was not surprised. Nothing surprised him any more. The air in the suit came back to normal in an instant now that the leak was sealed. And the blood that had flowed so swiftly was pressured as he fastened the knob yet tighter, until it made a tourniquet. |
| Sve to se odvijalo u jezivom ćutanju s njegove strane. A ostali su brbljali. Onaj jedan, Lespere, bez kraja je pričao o svojoj ženi na Marsu, svojoj ženi na Veneri, svojoj ženi na Jupiteru, o svom novcu, kako se bajno provodio, kako se napijao, kockao, o svojoj sreći. Pričao i pričao, dok su svi padali. Padajući u smrt, Lespere se, srećan, sećao svoje prošlosti. | All of this took place in a terrible silence on his part. And the other men chatted. That one man, Lespere, went on and on with his talk about his wife on Mars, his wife on Venus, his wife on Jupiter, his money, his wondrous times, his drunkenness, his gambling, his happiness. On and on, while they all fell. Lespere reminisced on the past, happy, while he fell to his death. |
| Bilo je to tako neobično. Svemir, hiljade milja svemira, i ti glasovi što bruje u njegovom središtu. Niko se uopšte nije video, samo su se radio talasi drhtavo prostirali u nastojanju da u drugim Ijudima pobude emociju. | It was so very odd. Space, thousands of miles of space, and these voices vibrating in the center of it. No one visible at all, and only the radio waves quivering and trying to quicken other men into emotion. |
| "Je l' se ljutiš, Holise?" | “Are you angry, Hollis?” |
| "Ne." I nije se Ijutio. Ponovo je bio odsutan duhom i predstavljao bezosećajan predmet, u večitom padanju ni u šta. | “No.” And he was not. The abstraction had returned and he was a thing of dull concrete, forever falling nowhere. |
| "Celog života želeo si da dospeš na vrh, Holise. Uvek si se pitao šta se dešava. Obeležio sam te crnim upravo pre nego što sam i sam bio izbačen." | “You wanted to get to the top all your life, Hollis. You always wondered what happened. I put the black mark on you just before I was tossed out myself.” |
| "To nije važno", reče Holis. I nije ni bilo. To je prošlost. Kada je život završen, to je kao titraj sjajnog filma, trenutak na ekranu, sa svim predrasudama i strastima zgusnutim i osvetljenim na trenutak u prostoru, i pre nego što bi mogao da uzvikneš: "Beše jedan srećan dan, beše jedan loš, tamo jedno zlo lice, tu jedno dobro", film je sagoreo u pepeo, ekran se ugasio. | “That isn’t important,” said Hollis. And it was not. It was gone. When life is over it is like a flicker of bright film, an instant on the screen, all of its prejudices and passions condensed and illumined for an instant on space, and before you could cry out, “There was a happy day, there a bad one, there an evil face, there a good one,” the film burned to a cinder, the screen went dark. |
| Sa ove spoljne ivice njegovog života, gledajući unazad, bilo je samo jedno žaljenje, a to je bilo samo to što je želeo i dalje da živi. Da li su se svi umirući tako osećali, kao da nikada nisu ni živeli? Zar je život zaista izgledao tako kratak, gotov i završen pre nego što si udahnuo? Da li je to izgledalo tako naglo i nemoguće svakome, ili samo njemu, ovde, sada, sa nekoliko preostalih časova za razmišljanje? | From this outer edge of his life, looking back, there was only one remorse, and that was only that he wished to go on living. Did all dying people feel this way, as if they had never lived? Did life seem that short, indeed, over and done before you took a breath? Did it seem this abrupt and impossible to everyone, or only to himself, here, now, with a few hours left to him for thought and deliberation? |
| Jedan od ostalih, Lespere, pričao je. "Pa, ja sam se dobro provodio: imao sam ženu na Marsu, Veneri, i Jupiteru. Svaka je imala para i bila sjajna prema meni. Napijao sam se i jednom sam prokockao dvadeset hiljada dolara." | One of the other men, Lespere, was talking. “Well, I had me a good time: I had a wife on Mars, Venus, and Jupiter. Each of them had money and treated me swell. I got drunk and once I gambled away twenty thousand dollars.” |
| Ali sada si ovde, mislio je Holis. Ja nisam imao ništa od svega toga. Kada sam živeo bio sam ljubomoran na tebe, Lespere; kada sam imao još jedan dan pred sobom zavideo sam ti na tvojim ženama i na dobrim provodima. Žene su me plašile i ja sam odlazio u svemir, uvek ih želeći i ljubomoran na tebe što imaš njih, i novac, i sreću, koliko god si je mogao imati na svoj ludi način. Ali sada, dok padam ovde, i sve je svršeno, ja više na tebe nisam ljubomoran, zato što je svršeno za tebe kao i za mene, i upravo ovog trenutka čini se kao da nikada ništa nije ni bilo. Holis se isteže licem napred i zavika u telefon. | But you’re here now, thought Hollis. I didn’t have any of those things. When I was living I was jealous of you, Lespere; when I had another day ahead of me I envied you your women and your good times. Women frightened me and I went into space, always wanting them and jealous of you for having them, and money, and as much happiness as you could have in your own wild way. But now, falling here, with everything over, I’m not jealous of you any more, because it’s over for you as it is for me, and right now it’s like it never was. Hollis craned his face forward and shouted into the telephone. |
| "Sve je svršeno, Lespere!" Tišina. | “It’s all over, Lespere!” Silence. |
| "Upravo kao da nikada nije ni bilo, Lespere!" | “It’s just as if it never was, Lespere!” |
| "Ko je to?" javi se Lespere oklevajućim glasom. | “Who’s that?” Lespere’s faltering voice. |
| "Holis." Podlo se držao. Osećao je kukavnost, bezosećajnu kukavnost umiranja. Eplgeit ga je povredio; sada je on želeo da povredi drugoga. Eplgeit i svemir su ga oboje ranili. | “This is Hollis.” He was being mean. He felt the meanness, the senseless meanness of dying. Applegate had hurt him; now he wanted to hurt another. Applegate and space had both wounded him. |
| "Tu si napolju, Lespere. Sve je gotovo. Baš kao da se nikada nije ni dogodilo, zar ne?" | “You’re out here, Lespere. It’s all over. It’s just as if it had never happened, isn’t it?” |
| "Ne." | “No.” |
| "Kada se nešto završi, onda je isto kao da se nikada nije ni dogodilo. Po čemu je tvoj život imalo bolji od moga, sada? Ovo sada se računa. Da li je imalo bolji? Da li je?" | “When anything’s over, it’s just like it never happened. Where's your life any better than mine, now? Now is what counts. Is it any better? Is it?” |
| "Da, bolji je!" | “Yes, it’s better!” |
| "Kako!" | “How!” |
| "Zato što ja imam svoje misli, sećam se!" uzviknu Lespere u daljini, besan, obema šakama pritiskujući na grudi svoje uspomene. | “Because I got my thoughts, I remember!” cried Lespere, far away, indignant, holding his memories to his chest with both hands. |
| I bio je u pravu. Sa osećanjem da mu hladna voda juri kroz glavu i telo, Holis je znao da je ovaj u pravu. Između sećanja i snova postoje razlike. On je imao samo snove o stvarima koje je želeo da učini, dok je Lespere imao sećanja na stvari koje je učinio i postigao. Ovo saznanje poče da razdire Holisa, laganom, drhtavom preciznošću. | And he was right. With a feeling of cold water rusting through his head and body, Hollis knew he was right. There were differences between memories and dreams. He had only dreams of things he had wanted to do, while Lespere had memories of things done and accomplished. And this knowledge began to pull Hollis apart, with a slow, quivering precision. |
| "Šta ti to vredi!" doviknu on Lesperu. "Sada? Kada se stvar završi, više ne vredi. Nisi ti ništa bogatiji od mene." | “What good does it do you?” he cried to Lespere. “Now? When a thing’s over it’s not good any more. You’re no better off than me." |
| "Počivam u miru", reče Lespere. "Ja sam svoje obavio. Ne postajem podao na kraju, kao ti." | “I’m resting easy,” said Lespere. “I’ve had my turn. I’m not getting mean at the end, like you.” |
| "Podao?" Holis prevrte reč preko jezika. Nikada nije bio podao, koliko se seća, u svom životu. Mora da je to čuvao sve ove godine za jedan ovakav trenutak. "Podao." Prevali reč negde pozadi u mozak. Oseti kako mu suze naviru na oči i kotrljaju se niz lice. Neko mora da je čuo njegov grcav glas. | “Mean?” Hollis turned the word on his tongue. He had never been mean, as long as he could remember, in his life. He had never dared to be mean. He must have saved it all of these years for such a time as this. “Mean.” He rolled the word into the back of his mind. He felt tears start into his eyes and roll down his face. Someone must have heard his gasping voice. |
| "Polako Holise." | “Take it easy, Hollis.” |
| To je bilo smešno, naravno. Samo minut pre toga davao je savete drugima, Stimsonu; bio je osetio odvažnost za koju je mislio da je istinska, a sada je znao da to nije bilo ništa drugo nego šok i objektivnost koja je moguća u šoku. Sada je pokušavao da u nekoliko minuta sabije emocije potiskivane čitavog života. | It was, of course, ridiculous. Only a minute before he had been giving advice to others, to Stimson; he had felt a braveness which he had thought to be the genuine thing, and now he knew that it had been nothing but shock and the objectivity possible in shock. Now he was trying to pack a lifetime of suppressed emotion into an interval of minutes. |
| "Znam kako se osećaš, Holise", reče Lespere, sada već na daljini od dvadeset hiljada milja, dok mu je glas zamirao. "Ja to ne uzimam lično." | “I know how you feel, Hollis,” said Lespere, now twenty thousand miles away, his voice fading. “I don’t take it personally.” |
| Ali zar nismo jednaki? pitao se on. Lespere i ja? Ovde, sada? Ako je stvar svršena, gotovo je, i šta onda vredi? Ionako umireš. Ali znao je da racionalizuje, jer je to bilo kao pokušaj razlikovanja između živog čoveka i leša. U jednom je bila varnica, ne u drugome - jedna aura, tajanstven element. | But aren’t we equal? he wondered. Lespere and I? Here, now? If a thing’s over, it’s done, and what good is it? You die anyway. But he knew he was rationalizing, for it was like trying to tell the difference between a live man and a corpse. There was a spark in one, and not in the other—an aura, a mysterious element. |
| Tako je bilo i sa Lesperom i njim; Lespere je proživeo dobar, pun život, i to ga je sada činilo drugačijim čovekom, a on, Holis, bio je kao i mrtav mnogo godina. Stigli su do smrti odvojenim stazama i, po svemu sudeći, ako postoje razne vrste smrti, njihove smrti će se razlikovati kao noć i dan. Kvalitet smrti, kao i života mora da je beskrajno raznolik, i ako je čovek već jednom umro, onda šta ima da se traži u umiranju za svagda, kao što on sada traži? | So it was with Lespere and himself; Lespere had lived a good full life, and it made him a different man now, and he, Hollis, had been as good as dead for many years. They came to death by separate paths and, in all likelihood, if there were kinds of death, their kinds would be as different as night from day. The quality of death, like that of life, must be of an infinite variety, and if one has already died once, then what was there to look for in dying for good and all, as he was now? |
| Sekundu kasnije otkri da mu je levo stopalo načisto odsečeno. To ga gotovo zasmeja. Iz odela mu je opet nestao vazduh. Brzo se povi, i vide krv, jer mu je meteor odneo meso i odelo sve do članka. Oh, smrt u svemiru je mnogo komična. Odseca te, komad po komad, kao kakav crn i nevidljiv kasapin. Pritegnu ventil kod kolena boreći se da ostane pri svesti, sa bolnim kovitlacem u glavi - i sa zavrnutim ventilom, zadržanom krvlju i sačuvanim vazduhom, uspravi se i nastavi da pada, i pada, jer to je bilo sve što je još ostalo da se učini. | It was a second later that he discovered his right foot was cut sheer away. It almost made him laugh. The air was gone from his suit again. He bent quickly, and there was blood, and the meteor had taken flesh and suit away to the ankle. Oh, death in space was most humorous. It cut you away, piece by piece, like a black and invisible butcher. He tightened the valve at the knee, his head whirling into pain, fighting to remain aware, and with the valve tightened, the blood retained, the air kept he straightened up and went on falling, falling, for that was all there was left to do. |
| "Holise?" | “Hollis?" |
| Holis pospano klimnu glavom, umoran od čekanja smrti. | Hollis nodded sleepily, tired of waiting for death. |
| "Ovde opet Eplgeit", reče glas. | “This is Applegate again,” said the voice. |
| "Da." | “Yes.” |
| "Imao sam vremena da mislim. Slušao sam te. Ovo nije dobro. Prozlili smo se. Ovo je rđav način da se umre. Isterati svu žuč. Slušaš li, Holise?" | “I’ve had time to think. I listened to you. This isn’t good. It makes us bad. This is a bad way to die. It brings all the bile out. You listening, Hollis?” |
| "Da." | “Yes.” |
| "Ja sam lagao. Pre jednog minuta. Lagao sam. Nisam glasao protiv tebe. Valjda sam hteo da te uvredim. Večito smo se borili međusobno. Izgleda da brzo starim i brzo se kajem. Valjda sam se postideo kad sam te čuo kako si bedan. Šta god da je, želim da znaš da sam i ja bio idiot. Nema ni trunke istine u onome što sam rekao. Idi do đavola." | “I lied. A minute ago. I lied. I didn’t blackball you. I don’t know why I said that. Guess I wanted to hurt you. You seemed the one to hurt. We’ve always fought. Guess I’m getting old fast and repenting fast. I guess listening to you be mean made me ashamed. Whatever the reason, I want you to know I was an idiot too. There’s not an ounce of truth in what I said. To hell with you.” |
| Holis oseti kako mu srce opet počinje da radi. Kao da pet minuta nije radilo, ali sada svi udovi počeše da mu dobijaju boju i toplinu. Šok je prošao, a jedan za drugim prolazili su i udari ljutnje i užasa i usamljenpsti. Osećao se kao čovek koji ujutru izlazi ispod hladnog tuša, spreman za dorućak i nov dan. | Hollis felt his heart begin to work again. It seemed as if it hadn’t worked for five minutes, but now all of his limbs began to take color and warmth. The shock was over, and the successive shocks of anger and terror and loneliness were passing. He felt like a man emerging from a cold shower in the morning, ready for breakfast and a new day. |
| "Hvala, Eplgeite." | “Thanks, Applegate.” |
| "Nema na čemu. Gore glavu, gade jedan." | “Don’t mention it. Up your nose, you bastard” |
| "Hej", reče Stoun. | “Hey,” said Stone. |
| "Šta je?" odazva se Holis kroz svemir; jer Stoun je, od svih njih, bio pravi prijatelj. | “What?” Hollis called across space; for Stone, of all of them, was a good friend. |
| "Zapao sam u roj meteora, u neke male asteroide." | “I’ve got myself into a meteor swarm, some little asteroids.” |
| "Meteori?" | “Meteors?” |
| "Mislim da je to Mirmidonski roj koji izlazi iza Marsa pa onda ide ka Zemlji jednom u pet godina. Tačno sam u sredini. Kao neki veliki kaleidoskop. Sve moguće boje i oblici i dimenzije. Gospode, što je lepo, sav taj metal." | “I think it’s the Myrmidone cluster that goes out past Mars and in toward Earth once every five years. I’m right in the middle. It’s like a big kaleidoscope. You get all kinds of colors and shapes and sizes. God, it’s beautiful, all that metal.” |
| Tišina. | Silence. |
| "Idem sa njima", reče Stoun. "Odvode me sa sobom. Odoh bestraga." Smejao se. | “I’m going with them,” said Stone. “They’re taking me off with them. I’ll be damned.” He laughed. |
| Holis pogleda, ali ne vide ništa. Unaokolo su bili samo veliki dijamanti i safiri, i smaragdna izmaglica i somotska tama vasione, sa glasom Boga koji se mešao sa kristalnim vatrama. Bilo je nečeg čudnog i maštovitog u pomisli kako Stoun odlazi u meteorskom jatu, ostaje godinama napolju iza Marsa i vraća se ka Zemlji svakih pet godina, kako u sledećih milion stoleća ulazi u vidokrug planete i izlazi iz njega. Stoun i Mirmidonsko jato večiti i bez kraja, kako se menjaju i uobličavaju kao one kaleidoskopske boje kada si, u detinjstvu, držao dugački valjak prema suncu i okretao ga. | Hollis looked to see, but saw nothing. There were only the great diamonds and sapphires and emerald mists and velvet inks of space, with God’s voice mingling among the crystal fires. There was a kind of wonder and imagination in the thought of Stone going off in the meteor swarm, out past Mars for years and coming in toward Earth every five years, passing in and out of the planet’s ken for the next million centuries, Stone and the Myrmidone cluster eternal and unending, shifting and shaping like the kaleidoscope colors when you were a child and held the long tube to the sun and gave it a twirl. |
| "Zbogom, Holise." Stounov glas, sada veoma slab. "Zbogom." | “So long, Hollis.” Stone’s voice, very faint now. “So long.” |
| "Srećno", povika Holis preko trideset hiljada milja. | “Good luck,” shouted Hollis across thirty thousand miles. |
| "Ne budi smešan", reče Stoun i nestade. | “Don’t be funny,” said Stone, and was gone. |
| Zvezde se zgrnuše oko njega sa svih strana. | The stars closed in. |
| Sada su svi glasovi gasnuli, svaki na svojoj putanji, neki prema Marsu, drugi ka najudaljenijim krajevima vasione. I sam Holis... Pogleda dole. On se, jedini od svih, vraćao sam na Zemlju. | Now all the voices were fading, each on his own trajectory, some to Mars, others into farthest space. And Hollis himself . . . He looked down. He, of all the others, was going back to Earth alone. |
| "Zbogom." | “So long.” |
| "Polako." | “Take it easy.” |
| "Zbogom, Holise." Bio je to Eplgeit. | “So long, Hollis.” That was Applegate. |
| Ta mnoga doviđenja. Kratki oproštaji. Sada se veliki labavi mozak raspadao. Komponente mozga koji je tako divno i efikasno radio u lobanji raketnog broda umirale su jedna za drugom; značenje njihovog zajedničkog života se rasturalo. I kao što telo umire kada mozak prestane da funkcioniše, tako je umirao i duh broda i dugog vremena provedenog zajedno, i svega onoga što su značili jedan drugome. Eplgeit sada nije bio ništa više do prst otkinut sa matičnog tela koji više nije trebalo mrzeti niti raditi protiv njega. Mozak je bio raznet eksplozijom, a njegovi bezosećajni, beskorisni delići rasejani nadaleko. Glasovi utihnuše i sada je cela vasiona bila mirna. Holis je bio sam, i padao. | The many good-bys. The short farewells. And now the great loose brain was disintegrating. The components of the brain which had worked so beautifully and efficiently in the skull case of the rocket ship firing through space were dying one by one; the meaning of their life together was falling apart. And as a body dies when the brain ceases functioning, so the spirit of the ship and their long time together and what they meant to one another was dying. Applegate was now no more than a finger blown from the parent body, no longer to be despised and worked against. The brain was exploded, and the senseless, useless fragments of it were far scattered. The voices faded and now all of space was silent. Hollis was alone, falling. |
| Svi su bili sami. Glasovi su im zamrli kao odjeci božjih reči koje su brujale u zvezdanoj dubini. Tamo je kapetan išao na Mesec; onamo Stoun sa rojem meteora; onde je bio Stimson; Eplgeit se kretao ka Plutonu; Smit i Turner i Undervud i svi ostali, krhotine kaleidoskopa koji je toliko dugo stvarao slike sa smislom bili su bačeni na razne strane. | They were all alone. Their voices had died like echoes of the words of God spoken and vibrating in the starred deep. There went the captain to the Moon; there Stone with the meteor swarm; there Stimson; there Applegate toward Pluto; there Smith and Turner and Underwood and all the rest, the shards of the kaleidoscope that had formed a thinking pattern for so long, hurled apart. |
| A ja? mislio je Holis. Šta ja mogu da učinim? Ima li ičega što sada mogu da učinim kao naknadu za strašan i prazan život? Kada bih mogao da učinim samo jednu dobru stvar da se iskupim za podlost koju sam sakupljao sve ove godine a da nisam čak ni znao da je nosim u sebi! Ali ovde nema nikoga osim mene, a kako možeš učiniti dobro potpuno sam? Ne možeš. Sutra na noć udariću u Zemljinu atmosferu. | And I? thought Hollis. What can I do? Is there anything I can do now to make up for a terrible and empty life? If only I could do one good thing to make up for the meanness I collected all these years and didn’t even know was in me! But there’s no one here but myself, and how can you do good all alone? You can’t. Tomorrow night I’ll hit Earth’s atmosphere. |
| Izgoreću, pomisli, i pepeo će mi se rasturiti po svim kontinentima. Biću iskorišćen. Samo malo, ali pepeo je pepeo i oplemeniće zemlju. | I’ll burn, he thought, and be scattered in ashes all over the continental lands. I’ll be put to use. Just a little bit, but ashes are ashes and they’ll add to the land. |
| Padao je brzo, kao metak, kao šljunak, kao gvozdeni teg, ravnodušan, sada sve vreme ravnodušan, ni tužan ni srećan, niti išta drugo, samo sa željom da učini nešto dobro sada kada je sve prošlo, jednu dobru stvar samo za sebe, da zna da ju je učinio. | He fell swiftly, like a bullet, like a pebble, like an iron weight, objective, objective all of the time now, not sad or happy or anything, but only wishing he could do a good thing now that everything was gone, a good thing for just himself to know about. |
| Kada udarim u atmosferu, izgoreću kao meteor. "Pitam se", reče, "da li će me iko videti?" | When I hit the atmosphere, I’ll burn like a meteor. “I wonder,” he said, “if anyone’ll see me?” |
| Dečačić na seoskom putu pogleda uvis i udari u vrisku. "Gledaj, mama, gledaj! Zvezda padalica!" | The small boy on the country road looked up and screamed. “Look, Mom, look! A falling star!” |
| Blistava bela zvezda pade sa neba u suton u Ilinoisu. "Zaželi nešto", reče mu majka. "Zaželi nešto." | The blazing white star fell down the sky of dusk in Illinois. “Make a wish,” said his mother. “Make a wish.” |
| Tetovirani se okretao na mesečini. Okrete se opet... i opet... i opet... | The Illustrated Man turned in the moonlight. He turned again . . . and again . . . and again. . . . |