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| 8 | 8 |
| Bilo je suviše kasno da zovem taksi ili nešto, pa sam otpešačio sve do stanice. Nije bilo mnogo daleko, ali je bilo užasno hladno, teško se hodalo kroz sneg, a moji 'gledstoni' me do besvesti tukli po nogama. | IT WAS TOO LATE to call up for a cab or anything, so I walked the whole way to the station. It wasn't too far, but it was cold as hell, and the snow made it hard for walking, and my Gladstones kept banging hell out of my legs. |
| Ipak, uživao sam nekako u svežem vazduhu i svemu. Jedini je problem bio što me od hladnoće boleo nos i ono mesto ispod gornje usne gde me stari Stredleter mlatnuo. | I sort of enjoyed the air and all, though. The only trouble was, the cold made my nose hurt, and right under my upper lip, where old Stradlater'd laid one on me. |
| Spljoštio mi je usnu o zube, pa je prilično bolelo. Ipak, bar su mi uši bile prijatno tople. Ta kapa koju sam kupio imala je iznutra klapne za uši, pa sam ih spustio - bilo mi je sasvim svejedno kako izgledam. Ionako nije bilo nikog u blizini. Svi su već polagali. | He'd smacked my lip right on my teeth, and it was pretty sore. My ears were nice and warm, though. That hat I bought had earlaps in it, and I put them on―I didn't give a damn how I looked. Nobody was around anyway. Everybody was in the sack. |
| Baš sam imao sreće kad sam stigao na stanicu, jer je trebalo čekati samo desetak minuta na voz. Dok sam čekao, uzeo sam šaku snega i oprao lice. Bilo je još dosta krvi po njemu. | I was quite lucky when I got to the station, because I only had to wait about ten minutes for a train. While I waited, I got some snow in my hand and washed my face with it. I still had quite a bit of blood on. |
| Ja volim da putujem vozom, osobito noću kad su svetla upaljena i prozori tako crni, a kroz vagon prolazi neki od onih tipova što prodaju kafu, sendviče i časopise. Obično kupim sendvič sa šunkom i jedno četiri časopisa. | Usually I like riding on trains, especially at night, with the lights on and the windows so black, and one of those guys coming up the aisle selling coffee and sandwiches and magazines. I usually buy a ham sandwich and about four magazines. |
| Kad putujem vozom noću, u stanju sam čak da pročitam neku od onih glupih priča iz časopisa, a da usput ne povratim. Znate već. | If I'm on a train at night, I can usually even read one of those dumb stories in a magazine without puking. You know. |
| Jednu od onih priča s masom lažnih, nemogućih likova isturene donje vilice, koji se obavezno zovu Dejvid, i masom nemogućih devojaka koje se zovu Linda ili Marša, koje tim Dejvidima večito pripaljuju neke proklete lule. | One of those stories with a lot of phony, lean-jawed guys named David in it, and a lot of phony girls named Linda or Marcia that are always lighting all the goddam Davids' pipes for them. |
| Obično sam u stanju da pročitam neku od tih bezveznih priča kad putujem vozom noću. Ali ovog puta je bilo drukčije. Jednostavno nisam bio raspoložen za to. Samo sam kao sedeo i ništa nisam radio. Osim što sam skinuo onu lovačku kapu i nabio je u džep. | I can even read one of those lousy stories on a train at night, usually. But this time, it was different. I just didn't feel like it. I just sort of sat and not did anything. All I did was take off my hunting hat and put it in my pocket. |
| Odjednom, u Trentonu je ušla neka dama i sela pored mene. U suštini je čitav vagon bio prazan, jer je bilo prilično kasno i sve, ali ona je sela baš pored mene, umesto na neko prazno mesto, zato što je imala taj veliki kofer, a ja sam sedeo odmah kod ulaza u vagon. | All of a sudden, this lady got on at Trenton and sat down next to me. Practically the whole car was empty, because it was pretty late and all, but she sat down next to me, instead of an empty seat, because she had this big bag with her and I was sitting in the front seat. |
| Smestila je kofer nasred prolaza, da kondukter i svi ostali mogu komotno da se sapliću o njega. Na sebi je imala neke orhideje, kao da je bila na nekom svečanom koktelu ili negde. Imala je jedno četrdeset ili četrdeset pet godina, mislim, ali odlično je izgledala. | She stuck the bag right out in the middle of the aisle, where the conductor and everybody could trip over it. She had these orchids on, like she'd just been to a big party or something. She was around forty or forty-five, I guess, but she was very good looking. |
| Žene me bukvalno obaraju. Najozbiljnije. Ne mislim da sam seksualno opsednut ili nešto - mada sam prilično napaljiv. Jednostavno ih volim, to je sve. Večito ostavljaju svoje kofere nasred prolaza. | Women kill me. They really do. I don't mean I'm oversexed or anything like that―although I am quite sexy. I just like them, I mean. They're always leaving their goddam bags out in the middle of the aisle. |
| Sve u svemu, sedeli smo tako, i onda mi je najednom rekla: "Oprostite, nije li to nalepnica škole u Pensiju?" Gledala je u moje kofere, gore na pregradi. | Anyway, we were sitting there, and all of a sudden she said to me, "Excuse me, but isn't that a Pencey Prep sticker?" She was looking up at my suitcases, up on the rack. |
| "Jeste", rekoh. Bila je u pravu. Imao sam prokletu nalepnicu Pensija na jednom od onih 'gledstona'. | "Yes, it is," I said. She was right. I did have a goddam Pencey sticker on one of my Gladstones. Very corny, I'll admit. |
| "O, vi idete u Pensi?" rekla je. Imala je lep glas. Lep glas za telefon, u suštini. Trebalo je da uvek nosi telefon sa sobom. | "Oh, do you go to Pencey?" she said. She had a nice voice. A nice telephone voice, mostly. She should've carried a goddam telephone around with her. |
| "Da, idem", rekoh. | "Yes, I do," I said. |
| "O, pa to je divno! Onda možda poznajete mog sina. Ernest Morou? On ide u Pensi." | "Oh, how lovely! Perhaps you know my son, then, Ernest Morrow? He goes to Pencey." |
| "Da, znam ga. Ide u moj razred." | "Yes, I do. He's in my class." |
| Njen sin je bio nesumnjivo najveći kreten koji se ikad pojavio u Pensiju, u čitavoj idiotskoj istoriji škole. Večito je, posle tuširanja, išao po hodniku i šibao ljude mokrim peškirom po dupetu. | Her son was doubtless the biggest bastard that ever went to Pencey, in the whole crumby history of the school. He was always going down the corridor, after he'd had a shower, snapping his soggy old wet towel at people's asses. |
| Eto kakav je to bio lik. | That's exactly the kind of a guy he was. |
| "O, baš mi je drago!" rekla je. Ali nimalo isfolirano. Samo je bila ljubazna i sve. "Moraću da kažem Ernestu da smo se upoznali", rekla je. "Smem li da vas pitam kako se zovete, dušo?" | "Oh, how nice!" the lady said. But not corny. She was just nice and all. "I must tell Ernest we met," she said. "May I ask your name, dear?" |
| "Rudolf Šmit", rekao sam. Nisam baš bio raspoložen da joj pričam čitavu svoju biografiju. Rudolf Šmit je bio naš domar. | "Rudolf Schmidt," I told her. I didn't feel like giving her my whole life history. Rudolf Schmidt was the name of the janitor of our dorm. |
| "Kako vam se sviđa Pensi?" upitala me. | "Do you like Pencey?" she asked me. |
| "Pensi? Nije tako loš. Nije raj ili nešto, ali dobar je kao i većina škola. Neki od profesora prilično savesno rade svoj posao." | "Pencey? It's not too bad. It's not paradise or anything, but it's as good as most schools. Some of the faculty are pretty conscientious." |
| "Ernest jednostavno obožava Pensi." | "Ernest just adores it." |
| "To znam", rekoh. Onda sam počeo malo da je ložim. "On se izvanredno prilagođava svemu. Ozbiljno. Hoću da kažem, on stvarno zna kako da se prilagodi." | "I know he does," I said. Then I started shooting the old crap around a little bit. "He adapts himself very well to things. He really does. I mean he really knows how to adapt himself." |
| "Mislite?" rekla je. Delovala je strahovito zainteresovano. | "Do you think so?" she asked me. She sounded interested as hell. |
| "Ernest? Naravno", rekoh. Posmatrao sam je kako skida rukavice. Ljudi moji, baš je šljaštila kamenjem. | "Ernest? Sure," I said. Then I watched her take off her gloves. Boy, was she lousy with rocks. |
| "Maločas sam slomila nokat, kad sam izlazila iz taksija", rekla je. Pogledala me i nešto se kao nasmešila. Imala je neviđeno lep osmeh. Najozbiljnije. | "I just broke a nail, getting out of a cab," she said. She looked up at me and sort of smiled. She had a terrifically nice smile. She really did. |
| Većina ljudi teško da se uopšte osmehuje, ili samo bezvezno. "Ernestov otac i ja ponekad brinemo zbog njega", rekla je. "Ponekad nam se čini da nije previše druželjubiv." | Most people have hardly any smile at all, or a lousy one. "Ernest's father and I sometimes worry about him," she said. "We sometimes feel he's not a terribly good mixer." |
| "Kako to mislite?" | "How do you mean?" |
| "Tako. On je vrlo osetljiv dečak. Nikada nije bio previše druželjubiv kad su drugi dečaci u pitanju. Možda malo ozbiljnije gleda na stvari nego što bi trebalo u njegovom uzrastu." | "Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys. Perhaps he takes things a little more seriously than he should at his age." |
| Osetljiv. To me stvarno dotuklo. Taj Morou je bio otprilike osetljiv kao klozetska daska. | Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a goddam toilet seat. |
| Pažljivo sam je pogledao. Uopšte mi nije izgledala glupa. Izgledala je kao da bi mogla da bude prilično svesna kakvog je skota rodila. Ali nikad se ne zna - kad je nečija majka u pitanju, mislim. | I gave her a good look. She didn't look like any dope to me. She looked like she might have a pretty damn good idea what a bastard she was the mother of. But you can't always tell―with somebody's mother, I mean. |
| Sve su majke pomalo neuračunljive. Činjenica je, ipak, da mi se zaista sviđala. Bila je sasvim kako treba. "Jeste li možda za cigaretu?" upitao sam je. | Mothers are all slightly insane. The thing is, though, I liked old Morrow's mother. She was all right. "Would you care for a cigarette?" I asked her. |
| Pogledala je naokolo. "Ne verujem da je ovo vagon za pušače, Rudolfe", rekla je. Rudolfe. To me oborilo. | She looked all around. "I don't believe this is a smoker, Rudolf," she said. Rudolf. That killed me. |
| "Nije bitno. Možemo da pušimo sve dok ne počnu da galame na nas", rekoh. Uzela je cigaretu od mene, pa sam joj pripalio. | "That's all right. We can smoke till they start screaming at us," I said. She took a cigarette off me, and I gave her a light. |
| Lepo je izgledala dok je pušila. Uvlačila je dim i sve, ali ne onako pohlepno kao većina žena njenih godina. Bila je veoma šarmantna. Bila je i vrlo seksepilna, ako baš hoćete da znate. | She looked nice, smoking. She inhaled and all, but she didn't wolf the smoke down, the way most women around her age do. She had a lot of charm. She had quite a lot of sex appeal, too, if you really want to know. |
| Nekako me čudno gledala. "Možda se varam, ali čini mi se da vam krvari iz nosa, dušo", rekla je. | She was looking at me sort of funny. "I may be wrong but I believe your nose is bleeding, dear," she said, all of a sudden. |
| Klimnuo sam i izvadio maramicu. "Pogodila me grudva", rekoh. "Jedna od onih ledenjača." Možda bih joj i rekao šta se stvarno desilo, ali suviše bi potrajalo. Baš mi se sviđala. | I nodded and took out my handkerchief. "I got hit with a snowball," I said. "One of those very icy ones." I probably would've told her what really happened, but it would've taken too long. I liked her, though. |
| Bilo mi je već pomalo krivo što sam joj rekao da se zovem Rudolf Šmit. "Dobri stari Erni", rekoh. "On je jedan od najpopularnijih učenika u Pensiju. Niste znali?" | I was beginning to feel sort of sorry I'd told her my name was Rudolf Schmidt. "Old Ernie," I said. "He's one of the most popular boys at Pencey. Did you know that?" |
| "Ne, nisam." | "No, I didn't." |
| Klimnuo sam. "Svima je zaista trebalo poprilično dugo da ga stvarno upoznaju. Čudan je on. Poseban, po mnogo čemu - shvatate šta hoću da kažem? | I nodded. "It really took everybody quite a long time to get to know him. He's a funny guy. A strange guy, in lots of ways―know what I mean? |
| Kao, recimo, kad sam ga prvi put video. Kad sam ga prvi put video, mislio sam da je neki snob. Tako mi se učinilo. Ali nije. On je samo vrlo originalan kao ličnost, tako da vam treba malo više vremena da ga upoznate." | Like when I first met him. When I first met him, I thought he was kind of a snobbish person. That's what I thought. But he isn't. He's just got this very original personality that takes you a little while to get to know him." |
| Stara gđa Morou ništa nije rekla, ali ljudi moji, da ste je samo videli. Zalepio sam je za to sedište. Uzmite tako nečiju majku - sve što žele da čuju je kakav je dasa njihov sin. | Old Mrs. Morrow didn't say anything, but boy, you should've seen her. I had her glued to her seat. You take somebody's mother, all they want to hear about is what a hot-shot their son is. |
| Onda sam stvarno počeo da je sluđujem. "Da li vam je pričao o izborima?" upitao sam je. "O razrednim izborima?" | Then I really started chucking the old crap around. "Did he tell you about the elections?" I asked her. "The class elections?" |
| Odmahnula je glavom. Bukvalno sam je doveo u trans. Najozbiljnije. | She shook her head. I had her in a trance, like. I really did. |
| "Eto, najveći deo nas bio je za to da Erni postane predsednik razreda. Mislim, to je bila jednoglasna odluka. Hoću da kažem, on je bio jedini koji bi istinski mogao da se snađe u tome", rekoh. Ljudi moji, kako sam je ložio. | "Well, a bunch of us wanted old Ernie to be president of the class. I mean he was the unanimous choice. I mean he was the only boy that could really handle the job," I said―boy, was I chucking it. |
| "Ali izabran je taj drugi učenik - Hari Fenser. A razlog što je izabran, prost i očigledan razlog, bilo je baš to što nam Erni nije dozvolio da ga kandidujemo. | "But this other boy―Harry Fencer―was elected. And the reason he was elected, the simple and obvious reason, was because Ernie wouldn't let us nominate him. |
| Sve zato što je tako užasno stidljiv i skroman. Odbio je... Ljudi moji, kako je on stidljiv. Trebalo bi da utičete na njega da to nekako prevaziđe." Pogledao sam je. "Zar vam nije pričao o tome?" | Because he's so darn shy and modest and all. He refused... Boy, he's really shy. You oughta make him try to get over that." I looked at her. "Didn't he tell you about it?" |
| "Ne, nije." | "No, he didn't." |
| Klimnuo sam. "Takav je Erni. Ne bi on rekao. To mu je jedina mana - preterano je stidljiv i skroman. Stvarno bi trebalo da utičete na njega da se opusti ponekad!" | I nodded. "That's Ernie. He wouldn't. That's the one fault with him―he's too shy and modest. You really oughta get him to try to relax occasionally." |
| Baš u tom trenutku je naišao kondukter da vidi njenu kartu, pa mi je pružio priliku da prestanem sa lupetanjem. Drago mi je, ipak, što sam je malo ložio. | Right that minute, the conductor came around for old Mrs. Morrow's ticket, and it gave me a chance to quit shooting it. I'm glad I shot it for a while, though. |
| Uzmite tako nekog kao što je Morou, koji večito šiba ljude peškirom po dupetu - ozbiljno se trudeći da nekome zaista nanese bol - takvi ne ostaju pacovi samo dok su deca. Takvi ostaju pacovi čitavog života. | You take a guy like Morrow that's always snapping their towel at people's asses―really trying to hurt somebody with it―they don't just stay a rat while they're a kid. They stay a rat their whole life. |
| Ali kladio bih se da je, posle moje tirade, gđa Morou počela da misli o njemu kao vrlo stidljivom i skromnom liku koji nam nije dozvolio da ga izaberemo za predsednika. | But I'll bet, after all the crap I shot, Mrs. Morrow'll keep thinking of him now as this very shy, modest guy that wouldn't let us nominate him for president. |
| Sasvim moguće. Nikad se ne zna. Majke nisu preterano promućurne na tom planu. | She might. You can't tell. Mothers aren't too sharp about that stuff. |
| "Jeste li možda za po jedan koktel?" upitao sam je. Bio sam baš raspoložen za to. "Mogli bismo da odemo do vagon-restorana. Hoćete li?" | "Would you care for a cocktail?" I asked her. I was feeling in the mood for one myself. "We can go in the club car. All right?" |
| "Dušo, zar je vama dozvoljeno da naručujete piće?" upitala me. Ali nije to rekla pokroviteljski. Bila je previše šarmantna za tako nešto. | "Dear, are you allowed to order drinks?" she asked me. Not snotty, though. She was too charming and all to be snotty. |
| "Pa nije, u suštini, ali obično mi uspeva da ga dobijem zbog moje visine", rekoh. "A imam i dosta sedih." Okrenuo sam glavu i pokazao joj moju sedu kosu. | "Well, no, not exactly, but I can usually get them on account of my heighth," I said. "And I have quite a bit of gray hair." I turned sideways and showed her my gray hair. |
| Bila je apsolutno fascinirana. "Hajde, pridružite mi se, šta fali?" rekoh. Baš bih uživao u društvu s njom. | It fascinated hell out of her. "C'mon, join me, why don't you?" I said. I'd've enjoyed having her. |
| "Mislim da ipak ne bi trebalo. Mnogo vam hvala na pozivu, dušo", rekla je. "Uostalom, vagon-restoran je najverovamije zatvoren. Već je prilično kasno, znate." Bila je u pravu. Totalno sam zaboravio koliko je sati. | "I really don't think I'd better. Thank you so much, though, dear," she said. "Anyway, the club car's most likely closed. It's quite late, you know." She was right. I'd forgotten all about what time it was. |
| Onda me pogledala i upitala me baš ono čega sam se plašio. "Ernest mi je pisao da dolazi kući u sredu, da božićni praznici počinju u sredu", rekla je. | Then she looked at me and asked me what I was afraid she was going to ask me. "Ernest wrote that he'd be home on Wednesday, that Christmas vacation would start on Wednesday," she said. |
| "Nadam se da vas nisu iznenada pozvali kući zbog neke bolesti u porodici." Stvarno je izgledala zabrinuto. Ne može se reći da je bila samo nezdravo radoznala ili nešto, lepo se videlo. | "I hope you weren't called home suddenly because of illness in the family." She really looked worried about it. She wasn't just being nosy, you could tell. |
| "Ne, kod kuće su svi dobro", rekoh. "Radi se o meni. Moram na neku operaciju." | "No, everybody's fine at home," I said. "It's me. I have to have this operation." |
| "Oh! Baš mi je žao", rekla je. I jeste joj bilo žao. Odmah sam se pokajao što sam to rekao, ali već je bilo gotovo. | "Oh! I'm so sorry," she said. She really was, too. I was right away sorry I'd said it, but it was too late. |
| "Nije ništa ozbiljno. Imam samo neki mali tumorčić na mozgu." | "It isn't very serious. I have this tiny little tumor on the brain." |
| "O, ne!" prekrila je šakom usta i sve. "Ma biće sve u redu, ne brinite! Sasvim je negde spolja. I sasvim je mali. Mogu za dva minuta da ga izvade." | "Oh, no!" She put her hand up to her mouth and all. "Oh, I'll be all right and everything! It's right near the outside. And it's a very tiny one. They can take it out in about two minutes." |
| Onda sam počeo da čitam neki red vožnje koji mi je bio u džepu. Samo da bih prestao da lažem. Kad jednom počnem, u stanju sam da teram satima, ako sam raspoložen. Najozbiljnije. Satima. | Then I started reading this timetable I had in my pocket. Just to stop lying. Once I get started, I can go on for hours if I feel like it. No kidding. Hours. |
| Nismo preterano razgovarali posle toga. Ona je počela da čita taj Vog koji je nosila, a ja sam neko vreme gledao kroz prozor. Izašla je u Njuarku. Poželela mi je mnogo sreće s operacijom i sve. | We didn't talk too much after that. She started reading this Vogue she had with her, and I looked out the window for a while. She got off at Newark. She wished me a lot of luck with the operation and all. |
| I dalje me zvala Rudolf. Onda me je pozvala da na leto posetim Ernija u Glosteru, Masačusets. | She kept calling me Rudolf. Then she invited me to visit Ernie during the summer, at Gloucester, Massachusetts. |
| Rekla je da im je kuća na samoj obali, da imaju teniski teren i sve, ali samo sam joj zahvalio i rekao da idem sa babom u Južnu Ameriku. | She said their house was right on the beach, and they had a tennis court and all, but I just thanked her and told her I was going to South America with my grandmother. |
| Što je stvarno bila ordinarna laž, jer moja baba teško da ikad izlazi iz kuće, osim što možda ode na neki prokleti matine ili negde. | Which was really a hot one, because my grandmother hardly ever even goes out of the house, except maybe to go to a goddam matinee or something. |
| Ali ne bih posetio tog kretena Moroua ni za sva blaga ovog sveta, čak ni u najcrnjoj depresiji. | But I wouldn't visit that sonuvabitch Morrow for all the dough in the world, even if I was desperate. |