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| 7 | 7 |
| Kroz zavese oko tuša dopiralo je nešto malo svetlosti iz naše sobe i mogao sam da ga vidim kako leži na krevetu. Ubeđen sam bio da je sasvim budan. "Ekli?" rekoh. "Jesi li budan?" | A TINY BIT of light came through the shower curtains and all from our room, and I could see him lying in bed. I knew damn well he was wide awake. "Ackley?" I said. "Y'awake?" |
| "Aha." | "Yeah." |
| Bilo je prilično mračno. Stao sam na nečiju cipelu i zamalo poljubio patos. Ekli se kao pridigao na krevetu i podbočio se rukom. Lice mu je bilo debelo premazano nekim belilom, zbog bubuljica. Sablasno je izgledao u mraku. "Šta kog đavola radiš, a?" rekoh. | It was pretty dark, and I stepped on somebody's shoe on the floor and damn near fell on my head. Ackley sort of sat up in bed and leaned on his arm. He had a lot of white stuff on his face, for his pimples. He looked sort of spooky in the dark. "What the hellya doing, anyway?" I said. |
| "Kako to misliš, šta kog đavola radim? Pokušavao sam da zaspim kad ste vas dvojica krenuli da galamite. Zbog kog ste se đavola tukli, a?" | "Wuddaya mean what the hell am I doing? I was tryna sleep before you guys started making all that noise. What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?" |
| "Gde je svetlo?" Nisam mogao da nađem svetlo. Klizio sam rukom preko čitavog zida. | "Where's the light?" I couldn't find the light. I was sliding my hand all over the wall. |
| "Šta će ti svetlo?... Tu ti je pored ruke." | "Wuddaya want the light for? ... Right next to your hand." |
| Najzad sam našao prekidač. Ekli je podigao ruku da mu svetlost ne bije u oči. | I finally found the switch and turned It on. Old Ackley put his hand up so the light wouldn't hurt his eyes. |
| "Isuse!" rekao je. "Šta ti se, kog đavola, desilo! Mislio je na svu onu krv i ostalo. | "Jesus!" he said. "What the hell happened to you?" He meant all the blood and all. |
| "Zakačio sam se malo sa Stredleterom", rekoh. Onda sam seo na pod. Nikada nisu imali neke stolice u sobi. Pojma nemam šta su, kog đavola, uradili sa stolicama. "Slušaj", rekoh, "jesi li raspoložen za partiju kanaste?" Bio je zaluđen za kanastu. | "I had a little goddam tiff with Stradlater," I said. Then I sat down on the floor. They never had any chairs in their room. I don't know what the hell they did with their chairs. "Listen," I said, "do you feel like playing a little Canasta?" He was a Canasta fiend. |
| "Isuse, pa ti još uvek krvariš. Bolje stavi nešto na to." | "You're still bleeding, for Chrissake. You better put something on it." |
| "Prestaće. Slušaj. Hoćeš li da odigramo jednu kanastu ili nećeš?" | "It'll stop. Listen. Ya wanna play a little Canasta or don'tcha?" |
| "Kanastu, Isuse. Znaš li ti uopšte koliko je sati?" | "Canasta, for Chrissake. Do you know what time it is, by any chance?" |
| "Nije kasno. Tek je možda oko jedanaest, pola dvanaest." | "It isn't late. It's only around eleven, eleven-thirty." |
| "Tek!" reče Ekli. "Slušaj. Moram rano da ustanem za jutarnju misu, čoveče. Vas dvojica krenete da se derete i mlatite usred... Nego, zbog kog ste se đavola potukli?" | "Only around!" Ackley said. "Listen. I gotta get up and go to Mass in the morning, for Chrissake. You guys start hollering and fighting in the middle of the goddam―What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?" |
| "Duga je to priča. Neću da te zamaram, Ekli. Za tvoje dobro", rekoh. Nikada nisam razgovarao o ličnim stvarima s njim. | "It's a long story. I don't wanna bore ya, Ackley. I'm thinking of your welfare," I told him. I never discussed my personal life with him. |
| Pre svega, bio je čak i gluplji od Stredletera. Stredleter je bio pravi pravcati genije za Eklija. "Ej", rekoh, "mogu li da spavam u Ilajevom krevetu noćas? On se ne vraća do sutra uveče, zar ne?" Dobro sam znao da se ne vraća. Haj je gotovo svakog vikenda odlazio kući. | In the first place, he was even more stupid than Stradlater. Stradlater was a goddam genius next to Ackley. "Hey," I said, "is it okay if I sleep in Ely's bed tonight? He won't be back till tomorrow night, will he?" I knew damn well he wouldn't. Ely went home damn near every week end. |
| "Otkud ja znam kada se on vraća?" reče Ekli. | "I don't know when the hell he's coming back," Ackley said. |
| Ljudi moji, baš me nervirao. "Kako to misliš - otkud ti znaš kad se on vraća? Nikad se ne vraća do nedelje uveče, zar ne?" | Boy, did that annoy me. "What the hell do you mean you don't know when he's coming back? He never comes back till Sunday night, does he?" |
| "Jeste, ali čoveče, ne mogu ja da puštam svakog kome to padne na pamet da spava u njegovom prokletom krevetu." | "No, but for Chrissake, I can't just tell somebody they can sleep in his goddam bed if they want to." |
| To me oborilo. Pridigao sam se s mesta gde sam sedeo na podu i potapšao ga po ramenu. "Pravi si princ, Ekli-sinko", rekoh. "Zar nisi znao?" | That killed me. I reached up from where I was sitting on the floor and patted him on the goddam shoulder. "You're a prince, Ackley kid," I said. "You know that?" |
| "Ne, ozbiljno - ne mogu ja da puštam svakoga da spava..." | "No, I mean it―I can't just tell somebody they can sleep in―" |
| "Pravi si pravcati princ. Ti si džentlmen i školovan čovek, sinko", rekoh. Stvarno je i bio. "Da nemaš slučajno neku cigaretu? Kaži 'nemam', da ne padnem mrtav." | "You're a real prince. You're a gentleman and a scholar, kid," I said. He really was, too. "Do you happen to have any cigarettes, by any chance?―Say 'no' or I'll drop dead." |
| "Pa i nemam, ako te zanima. Slušaj, zbog kog ste se đavola potukli?" | "No, I don't, as a matter of fact. Listen, what the hell was the fight about?" |
| Nisam mu odgovorio. Samo sam ustao, otišao do prozora i pogledao napolje. Odjednom sam se osetio tako usamljen. Gotovo sam poželeo da me nema. | I didn't answer him. All I did was, I got up and went over and looked out the window. I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead. |
| "Zbog kog ste se đavola potukli, a?" rekao je Ekli, jedno pedeseti put. Stvarno je postao dosadan. | "What the hell was the fight about, anyhow?" Ackley said, for about the fiftieth time. He certainly was a bore about that. |
| "Zbog tebe", rekoh. | "About you," I said. |
| "Zbog mene, čoveče." | "About me, for Chrissake?" |
| "Aha. Branio sam tvoju prokletu čast. Stredleter je rekao da si loš karakter. Nisam mogao da ignorišem takve izjave." | "Yeah. I was defending your goddam honor. Stradlater said you had a lousy personality. I couldn't let him get away with that stuff." |
| To ga je uzbudilo. "To je rekao? Bez zezanja? Stvarno je to rekao?" | That got him excited. "He did? No kidding? He did?" |
| Rekao sam mu da se samo šalim, a onda sam prišao i legao na Ilajev krevet. Ljudi moji, kako sam se bedno osećao. Osećao sam se tako prokleto usamljen. | I told him I was only kidding, and then I went over and laid down on Ely's bed. Boy, did I feel rotten. I felt so damn lonesome. |
| "Ova soba smrdi", rekoh. "Čak dovde se osećaju tvoje čarape. Zar ih nikada ne nosiš na pranje?" | "This room stinks," I said. "I can smell your socks from way over here. Don'tcha ever send them to the laundry?" |
| "Ako ti se ne sviđa, znaš već šta možeš da uradiš", rekao je Ekli. | "If you don't like it, you know what you can do," Ackley said. What a witty guy. "How 'bout turning off the goddam light?" |
| Izuzetno duhovit lik, zaista. "Kako bi bilo da ugasiš prokleto svetlo?" Ali nisam ga odmah ugasio. Samo sam i dalje ležao na tom Ilajevom krevetu i mislio na Džejn i sve. Pomisao na nju i Stredletera parkirane negde u tim debelguzim Ed Benkijevim kolima totalno me izluđivala. Svaki put kad pomislim na to, dolazilo mi je da skočim kroz prozor. | I didn't turn it off right away, though. I just kept laying there on Ely's bed, thinking about Jane and all. It just drove me stark staring mad when I thought about her and Stradlater parked somewhere in that fat-assed Ed Banky's car. Every time I thought about it, I felt like jumping out the window. |
| Stvar je u tome što vi ne znate ko je Stredleter. Ja sam znao. U Pensiju su svi samo pričali kako stalno imaju seksualne odnose sa devojkama - kao Ekli, na primer - ali stari Stredleter je to stvarno i radio. Lično sam poznavao bar dve devojke koje je on sredio. Živa istina. | The thing is, you didn't know Stradlater. I knew him. Most guys at Pencey just talked about having sexual intercourse with girls all the time―like Ackley, for instance―but old Stradlater really did it. I was personally acquainted with at least two girls he gave the time to. That's the truth. |
| "Pričaj mi malo o svom fascinantnom životu, Ekli-sinko", rekoh. | "Tell me the story of your fascinating life, Ackley kid," I said. |
| "Kako bi bilo da ugasiš prokleto svetlo? Moram da ustanem za jutarnju misu." | "How 'bout turning off the goddam light? I gotta get up for Mass in the morning." |
| Ustao sam i ugasio ga, ako je to bilo ono što će ga usrećiti. Onda sam ponovo, legao na Ilajev krevet. | I got up and turned it off, if it made him happy. Then I laid down on Ely's bed again. |
| "Šta ćeš da radiš - da spavaš u Ilajevom krevetu?" reče Ekli. Ljudi moji, stvarno je bio neviđeno gostoljubiv. | "What're ya gonna do―sleep in Ely's bed?" Ackley said. He was the perfect host, boy. |
| "Možda. A možda i neću. Ne sekiraj se zbog toga." | "I may. I may not. Don't worry about it." |
| "Ne sekiram se. Samo, stvarno ne bih voleo da se Ilaj iznenada pojavi i nađe nekog..." | "I'm not worried about it. Only, I'd hate like hell if Ely came in all of a sudden and found some guy―" |
| "Opusti se. Neću da spavam ovde. Neću da zloupotrebim tvoje prokleto gostoprimstvo." | "Relax. I'm not gonna sleep here. I wouldn't abuse your goddam hospitality." |
| Nekoliko minuta kasnije, hrkao je kao lud. Svejedno sam ostao da ležim u mraku, pokušavajući da ne mislim na Džejn i Stredletera u tim prokletim Ed Benkijevim kolima. Ali to je bilo gotovo nemoguće. Problem je bio u tome što sam znao Stredleterovu tehniku. | A couple of minutes later, he was snoring like mad. I kept laying there in the dark anyway, though, trying not to think about old Jane and Stradlater in that goddam Ed Banky's car. But it was almost impossible. The trouble was, I knew that guy Stradlater's technique. |
| To je samo pogoršavalo čitavu stvar. Jednom smo izašli zajedno, baš u Ed Benkijevim kolima, i Stredleter je bio pozadi, sa svojom devojkom, a ja napred sa mojom. Kakvu je tehniku taj tip imao! Šta je radio - počeo je da sluđuje svoju devojku tim vrlo tihim, iskrenim glasom - kao da nije samo vrlo zgodan tip, već i vrlo fin, iskren mladić. | That made it even worse. We once double-dated, in Ed Banky's car, and Stradlater was in the back, with his date, and I was in the front with mine. What a technique that guy had. What he'd do was, he'd start snowing his date in this very quiet, sincere voice―like as if he wasn't only a very handsome guy but a nice, sincere guy, too. |
| Samo što nisam povratio slušajući ga. Njegova devojka je stalno ponavljala: "Nemoj - molim te. Molim te, nemoj. Molim te." Ali stari Stredleter je samo nastavio da je sluđuje tim glasom a la Abraham Linkoln, kao iskrenim i sve, i na kraju je na zadnjem sedištu zavladala stravična tišina. | I damn near puked, listening to him. His date kept saying, "No― please. Please, don't. Please." But old Stradlater kept snowing her in this Abraham Lincoln, sincere voice, and finally there'd be this terrific silence in the back of the car. |
| Baš je bilo neprijatno. Ne verujem da je te večeri do kraja izveo stvar sa tom devojkom, ali bio je prokleto blizu. Prokleto blizu. | It was really embarrassing. I don't think he gave that girl the time that night―but damn near. Damn near. |
| Dok sam tako ležao i trudio se da ne mislim, čuo sam kako se Stredleter vraća iz kupatila i ulazi u našu sobu. Lepo se čulo kako sklanja svoj odvratni toaletni pribor i sve, i kako otvara prozor. | While I was laying there trying not to think, I heard old Stradlater come back from the can and go in our room. You could hear him putting away his crumby toilet articles and all, and opening the window. |
| Bio je lud za svežim vazduhom. Zatim je, nešto kasnije, ugasio svetlo. Nije čak ni pogledao naokolo da vidi gde sam. | He was a fresh-air fiend. Then, a little while later, he turned off the light. He didn't even look around to see where I was at. |
| Čak je i napolju na ulici bilo depresivno. Nisu se više čuli čak ni automobili. Počeo sam da se osećam tako bedno i usamljeno da sam čak poželeo da probudim Eklija. | It was even depressing out in the street. You couldn't even hear any cars any more. I got feeling so lonesome and rotten, I even felt like waking Ackley up. |
| "Ej, Ekli", rekoh, kao nekim šapatom, da me Stredleter ne čuje kroz one zavese oko tuša. | "Hey, Ackley," I said, in sort of a whisper, so Stradlater couldn't hear me through the shower curtain. |
| Ali Ekli me nije čuo. | Ackley didn't hear me, though. |
| "Ej, Ekli!" | "Hey, Ackley!" |
| I dalje me nije čuo. Spavao je kao top. | He still didn't hear me. He slept like a rock. |
| "Ej, Ekli!" | "Hey, Ackley!" |
| To je već čuo, nema dileme. | He heard that, all right. |
| "Šta je tebi, čoveče?" rekao je. "Isuse, spavao sam." | "What the hell's the matter with you?" he said. "I was asleep, for Chrissake." |
| "Slušaj. Šta je potrebno za stupanje u manastir?" upitao sam. Poigravao sam se kao idejom da odem u neki. "Moraš li da budeš katolik i ostalo?" | "Listen. What's the routine on joining a monastery?" I asked him. I was sort of toying with the idea of joining one. "Do you have to be a Catholic and all?" |
| "Naravno da moraš da budeš katolik. Kretenu, zar si me probudio samo da bi me pitao glupa pita..." | "Certainly you have to be a Catholic. You bastard, did you wake me just to ask me a dumb ques―" |
| "Ma samo ti spavaj. Ionako neću u manastir. Kakve sam sreće, verovatno bih zaglavio u nekom sa sve pogrešnim monasima. Sve samim glupim skotovima. Ili samo skotovima." | "Aah, go back to sleep. I'm not gonna join one anyway. The kind of luck I have, I'd probably join one with all the wrong kind of monks in it. All stupid bastards. Or just bastards." |
| Kad sam to rekao, Ekli je najednom seo u krevetu. "Slušaj", kazao je. "Uopšte me ne zanima šta govoriš o meni ili nečemu, ali ako misliš da praviš sprdnju od moje proklete religije, Isuse..." | When I said that, old Ackley sat way the hell up in bed. "Listen," he said, "I don't care what you say about me or anything, but if you start making cracks about my goddam religion, for Chrissake―" |
| "Opusti se", rekoh. "Niko ne pravi sprdnju od tvoje proklete religije." Ustao sam sa Ilajevog kreveta i pošao ka vratima. Nije mi se više ostajalo u toj idiotskoj atmosferi. | "Relax," I said. "Nobody's making any cracks about your goddam religion." I got up off Ely's bed, and started towards the door. I didn't want to hang around in that stupid atmosphere any more. |
| Usput sam, ipak, zastao, dohvatio Eklijevu ruku i onako se teatralno rukovao s njim. Povukao je svoju ruku. "Šta ti sad to znači?". | I stopped on the way, though, and picked up Ackley's hand, and gave him a big, phony handshake. He pulled it away from me. "What's the idea?" he said. |
| "Ništa. Samo sam hteo da ti zahvalim što si takav neviđeni princ, eto", rekao sam to onim kao vrlo iskrenim glasom. "Laf si ti, Ekli-sinko, jesi li svestan toga?" | "No idea. I just want to thank you for being such a goddam prince, that's all," I said. I said it in this very sincere voice. "You're aces, Ackley kid," I said. "You know that?" |
| "Budalo. Jednog dana neko će pošteno da te odalami po..." | "Wise guy. Someday somebody's gonna bash your―" |
| Nisam se ni potrudio da ga saslušam. Zalupio sam prokleta vrata i izašao na hodnik. | I didn't even bother to listen to him. I shut the damn door and went out in the corridor. |
| Svi su spavali, ili bili napolju, ili kod svojih kuća za vikend, i u hodniku je bilo krajnje tiho i depresivno. Pred vratima Hofmana i Levija bila je prazna kutija 'kolinos'-paste za zube, pa sam je šutirao mojom krznenom papučom dok sam išao ka stepenicama. Šta sam smislio - smislio sam da odem dole i vidim šta radi stari Mel Drosar. Ali iznenada sam se predomislio. | Everybody was asleep or out or home for the week end, and it was very, very quiet and depressing in the corridor. There was this empty box of Kolynos toothpaste outside Leahy and Hoffman's door, and while I walked down towards the stairs, I kept giving it a boot with this sheep-lined slipper I had on. What I thought I'd do, I thought I might go down and see what old Mal Brossard was doing. But all of a sudden, I changed my mind. |
| Iznenada, rešio sam šta da uradim - da odem bestraga iz Pensija, još iste noći i sve. Mislim, da ne čekam do srede ili nešto. Jednostavno mi se nije više ostajalo tu. Osećao sam se previše tužno i usamljeno. I zato, šta sam rešio - rešio sam da uzmem sobu u nekom hotelu u Njujorku - u nekom vrlo jeftinom hotelu i sve - i lepo se opustim do srede, a onda se u sredu vratim kući, odmoran i lepo raspoložen. | All of a sudden, I decided what I'd really do, I'd get the hell out of Pencey―right that same night and all. I mean not wait till Wednesday or anything. I just didn't want to hang around any more. It made me too sad and lonesome. So what I decided to do, I decided I'd take a room in a hotel in New York―some very inexpensive hotel and all―and just take it easy till Wednesday. |
| Pretpostavljao sam da moji, pre možda utorka ili srede, verovatno neće dobiti pismo starog Tarmera u kojem ih obaveštava da su me izbacili. Nisam hteo da odem kući ili nešto pre nego što dobiju to pismo i temeljno ga svare. Nisam hteo da se nađem tamo baš kad ga budu dobili. | Then, on Wednesday, I'd go home all rested up and feeling swell. I figured my parents probably wouldn't get old Thurmer's letter saying I'd been given the ax till maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. I didn't want to go home or anything till they got it and thoroughly digested it and all. I didn't want to be around when they first got it. |
| Moju majku lako spopadne histerija. U suštini, uopšte nije loša kad nešto temeljno svari. Osim toga, trebao mi je kao neki odmor, šta li. Živci su mi otkazali. Najozbiljnije. | My mother gets very hysterical. She's not too bad after she gets something thoroughly digested, though. Besides, I sort of needed a little vacation. My nerves were shot. They really were. |
| Sve u svemu, eto šta sam rešio da uradim. I tako, vratio sam se u sobu i upalio svetlo da se spakujem i sve. Dosta stvari sam već ranije spakovao. Stredleter se nije čak ni probudio. | Anyway, that's what I decided I'd do. So I went back to the room and turned on the light, to start packing and all. I already had quite a few things packed. Old Stradlater didn't even wake up. |
| Zapalio sam cigaretu i obukao se, a onda popakovao stvari u one moje 'gledston'-kofere. Za to mi je trebalo oko dva minuta. Stravično brzo pakujem. | I lit a cigarette and got all dressed and then I packed these two Gladstones I have. It only took me about two minutes. I'm a very rapid packer. |
| Nešto me je malo izdeprimiralo pri tom pakovanju. Morao sam da spakujem i te nove novcate klizaljke koje mi je majka bukvalno tek poslala. To me stvarno izdeprimiralo. Lepo sam mogao da je vidim kako odlazi kod 'Spoldinga' i postavlja prodavcu mali milion nemogućih pitanja - a mene ovde ponovo izbacuju. | One thing about packing depressed me a little. I had to pack these brand-new ice skates my mother had practically just sent me a couple of days before. That depressed me. I could see my mother going in Spaulding's and asking the salesman a million dopy questions―and here I was getting the ax again. |
| To me prilično rastužilo. Kupila mi je pogrešnu vrstu klizaljki - hteo sam trkačke, a ona je kupila one za hokej - ali svejedno me rastužilo. Kad god mi neko nešto pokloni, to se skoro uvek završi tako što me rastuži. | It made me feel pretty sad. She bought me the wrong kind of skates―I wanted racing skates and she bought hockey―but it made me sad anyway. Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad. |
| Kad sam sve spakovao, onda sam kao prebrojao novac. Ne sećam se tačno koliko sam imao, ali bio sam pun para. Baba mi je nedelju dana pre toga poslala čitav štos novčanica. Imam tu babu koja je prilično galantna s novcem. | After I got all packed, I sort of counted my dough. I don't remember exactly how much I had, but I was pretty loaded. My grandmother'd just sent me a wad about a week before. I have this grandmother that's quite lavish with her dough. |
| Nije joj više sve na broju - matora je kao Biblija - i stalno mi šalje novac za rođendan, bar četiri puta godišnje. Sve u svemu, iako sam bio pun para, smislio sam da bi mi još neka kinta uvek dobrodošla. | She doesn't have all her marbles any more―she's old as hell―and she keeps sending me money for my birthday about four times a year. Anyway, even though I was pretty loaded, I figured I could always use a few extra bucks. |
| Nikad se ne zna. Šta sam uradio - prošao sam hodnikom i probudio Frederika Vudrafa, učenika kome sam pozajmio pisaću mašinu. | You never know. So what I did was, I went down the hall and woke up Frederick Woodruff, this guy I'd lent my typewriter to. |
| Pitao sam ga koliko bi dao za nju. Bio je prilično imućan lik. Rekao je da ne zna. Rekao je da mu nije posebno stalo da je kupi. | I asked him how much he'd give me for it. He was a pretty wealthy guy. He said he didn't know. He said he didn't much want to buy it. |
| Na kraju je ipak kupio. Koštala je oko devedeset dolara, a on je za nju dao samo dvadeset. Bio je ljut što sam ga probudio. Kad sam bio potpuno spreman da krenem, kad sam uzeo ta dva kofera i sve, zastao sam pored stepeništa i bacio poslednji pogled niz prokleti hodnik. | Finally he bought it, though. It cost about ninety bucks, and all he bought it for was twenty. He was sore because I'd woke him up. When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. |
| Nešto sam kao plakao. Ne znam zašto. | I was sort of crying. I don't know why. |
| Stavio sam onu crvenu lovačku kapu i okrenuo štitnik nazad, onako kako ja volim, a onda sam dreknuo iz sve snage: "Knjavajte, moroni!" Kladim se da sam probudio sve živo na čitavom spratu. Zatim sam se sjurio napolje. | I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. |
| Neki kreten je pobacao ljuske od kikirikija po stepeništu, i malo je falilo da skršim svoj suludi vrat. | Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck. |