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| Neke stvari se teško pamte. Razmišljam sad o Stredleterovom povratku posle izlaska sa Džejn. Mislim, ne mogu tačno da se setim šta sam radio kad sam čuo njegove idiotske korake u hodniku. Verovatno sam i dalje gledao kroz prozor, ali ne mogu da se setim, kunem se. | SOME THINGS are hard to remember. I'm thinking now of when Stradlater got back from his date with Jane. I mean I can't remember exactly what I was doing when I heard his goddam stupid footsteps coming down the corridor. I probably was still looking out the window, but I swear I can't remember. |
| Bio sam stravično zabrinut, eto zašto. Kada istinski brinem zbog nečega, nije mi do zezanja. Moram čak i u klozet da odem kad sam zabrinut zbog nečega. | I was so damn worried, that's why. When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. |
| Ali ne idem. Suviše sam zabrinut da bih odlazio. Neću da prekidam svoju brigu odlaženjem. I vi biste bili zabrinuti da ste znali Stredletera. Izašao sam nekoliko puta zajedno sa tim skotom na sudar s devojkama i znam o čemu govorim. Bio je beskrupulozan. Najozbiljnije. | Only, I don't go. I'm too worried to go. I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go. If you knew Stradlater, you'd have been worried, too. I'd double-dated with that bastard a couple of times, and I know what I'm talking about. He was unscrupulous. He really was. |
| Sve u svemu, hodnik je bio popločan linoleumom i lepo sam čuo njegove glupe korake usmerene ka sobi. Ne sećam se čak ni gde sam sedeo kad je ušao - kraj prozora, ili možda u fotelji. Kunem se, ne mogu da se setim. | Anyway, the corridor was all linoleum and all, and you could hear his goddam footsteps coming right towards the room. I don't even remember where I was sitting when he came in―at the window, or in my chair or his. I swear I can't remember. |
| Ušao je kukajući kako je hladno napolju. Onda je rekao: "Gde su, dođavola, ostali? Ovde je kao u mrtvačnici." Nisam se čak ni potrudio da mu odgovorim. | He came in griping about how cold it was out. Then he said, "Where the hell is everybody? It's like a goddam morgue around here." I didn't even bother to answer him. |
| Ako je bio toliko glup da ne shvati da je subota veče i da su svi napolju, ili spavaju, ili su otišli kućama za vikend, nisam hteo da se polomim objašnjavajući mu. Počeo je da se svlači. Nije ni pomenuo Džejn. | If he was so goddam stupid not to realize it was Saturday night and everybody was out or asleep or home for the week end, I wasn't going to break my neck telling him. He started getting undressed. He didn't say one goddam word about Jane. |
| Ni jednom reči. Nisam ni ja. Samo sam ga posmatrao. Sve što je rekao bilo je hvala što sam mu pozajmio moj karirani sako. Okačio ga je na vešalicu i ostavio u plakar. | Not one. Neither did I. I just watched him. All he did was thank me for letting him wear my hound's-tooth. He hung it up on a hanger and put it in the closet. |
| A onda, dok je razvezivao kravatu, upitao me da li sam napisao taj prokleti sastav za njega. Rekao sam mu da je tamo na njegovom prokletom krevetu. Prišao je i čitao ga, otkopčavajući košulju. | Then when he was taking off his tie, he asked me if I'd written his goddam composition for him. I told him it was over on his goddam bed. He walked over and read it while he was unbuttoning his shirt. |
| Stajao je tako i nešto se kao tapšao po golim grudima i stomaku, s nekim osobito glupim izrazom na licu. Večito se tapšao po stomaku ili grudima. Bio je ludo zaljubljen u sebe. | He stood there, reading it, and sort of stroking his bare chest and stomach, with this very stupid expression on his face. He was always stroking his stomach or his chest. He was mad about himself. |
| Najednom je rekao: "Isuse. Ovo je o prokletoj rukavici za bezbol." | All of a sudden, he said, "For Chrissake, Holden. This is about a goddam baseball glove." |
| "Pa šta?" rekao sam. Mrtav hladan. | "So what?" I said. Cold as hell. |
| "Kako to misliš pa šta? Rekao sam ti da mora da bude o prokletoj sobi ili kući ili nečemu." | "Wuddaya mean so what? I told ya it had to be about a goddam room or a house or something." |
| "Rekao si da treba da bude opisno. Kakva je sad razlika ako je o rukavici za bezbol?" | "You said it had to be descriptive. What the hell's the difference if it's about a baseball glove?" |
| "Dođavola." Bio je užasno ljut. Stvarno je pobesneo. "Ti sve uvek radiš naopako." Pogledao me. "Nije čudo što te izbacuju zauvek odavde", rekao je. "Nisi u stanju da uradiš ni jednu jedinu stvar kako valja. Ozbiljno ti kažem. Ni jednu jedinu stvar." | "God damn it." He was sore as hell. He was really furious. "You always do everything backasswards." He looked at me. "No wonder you're flunking the hell out of here," he said. "You don't do one damn thing the way you're supposed to. I mean it. Not one damn thing." |
| missing lines | "All right, give it back to me, then," I said. I went over and pulled it right out of his goddam hand. Then I tore it up. |
| missing lines | "What the hellja do that for?" he said. |
| missing lines | I didn't even answer him. I just threw the pieces in the wastebasket. Then I lay down on my bed, and we both didn't say anything for a long time. He got all undressed, down to his shorts, and I lay on my bed and lit a cigarette. You weren't allowed to smoke in the dorm, but you could do it late at night when everybody was asleep or out and nobody could smell the smoke. Besides, I did it to annoy Stradlater. It drove him crazy when you broke any rules. He never smoked in the dorm. It was only me. |
| missing lines | He still didn't say one single solitary word about Jane. So finally I said, "You're back pretty goddam late if she only signed out for nine-thirty. Did you make her be late signing in?" |
| missing lines | He was sitting on the edge of his bed, cutting his goddam toenails, when I asked him that. "Coupla minutes," he said. "Who the hell signs out for nine-thirty on a Saturday night?" God, how I hated him. |
| missing lines | "Did you go to New York?" I said. |
| missing lines | "Ya crazy? How the hell could we go to New York if she only signed out for nine-thirty?" |
| missing lines | "That's tough." |
| missing lines | He looked up at me. "Listen," he said, "if you're gonna smoke in the room, how 'bout going down to the can and do it? You may be getting the hell out of here, but I have to stick around long enough to graduate." |
| missing lines | I ignored him. I really did. I went right on smoking like a madman. All I did was sort of turn over on my side and watched him cut his damn toenails. What a school. You were always watching somebody cut their damn toenails or squeeze their pimples or something. |
| missing lines | "Did you give her my regards?" I asked him. |
| missing lines | "Yeah." |
| missing lines | The hell he did, the bastard. |
| missing lines | "What'd she say?" I said. "Did you ask her if she still keeps all her kings in the back row?" |
| missing lines | "No, I didn't ask her. What the hell ya think we did all night―play checkers, for Chrissake?" |
| missing lines | I didn't even answer him. God, how I hated him. |
| missing lines | "If you didn't go to New York, where'd ya go with her?" I asked him, after a little while. I could hardly keep my voice from shaking all over the place. Boy, was I getting nervous. I just had a feeling something had gone funny. |
| missing lines | He was finished cutting his damn toenails. So he got up from the bed, in just his damn shorts and all, and started getting very damn playful. He came over to my bed and started leaning over me and taking these playful as hell socks at my shoulder. "Cut it out," I said. "Where'd you go with her if you didn't go to New York?" |
| missing lines | "Nowhere. We just sat in the goddam car." He gave me another one of those playful stupid little socks on the shoulder. |
| missing lines | "Cut it out," I said. "Whose car?" |
| missing lines | "Ed Banky's." |
| missing lines | Ed Banky was the basketball coach at Pencey. Old Stradlater was one of his pets, because he was the center on the team, and Ed Banky always let him borrow his car when he wanted it. It wasn't allowed for students to borrow faculty guys' cars, but all the athletic bastards stuck together. In every school I've gone to, all the athletic bastards stick together. |
| Stredleter me i dalje šaketao u rame. Uzeo je bio četkicu za zube, pa je premostio u usta. "Šta ste radili?" upitah. "Jesi li joj ga strpao u tim prokletim Benkijevim kolima?" Glas mi je toliko drhtao da je već bilo odvratno. | Stradlater kept taking these shadow punches down at my shoulder. He had his toothbrush in his hand, and he put it in his mouth. "What'd you do?" I said. "Give her the time in Ed Banky's goddam car?" My voice was shaking something awful. |
| "Kakvi su to izrazi? Hoćeš li da ti isperem usta sapunom?" | "What a thing to say. Want me to wash your mouth out with soap?" |
| "Jesi li?" | "Did you?" |
| "To je profesionalna tajna, dečko." | "That's a professional secret, buddy." |
| Onog što je usledilo ne sećam se baš dobro. Znam samo da sam se digao s kreveta, kao da sam krenuo dole u kupatilo ili negde, a onda sam pokušao da ga tresnem, svom snagom, pravo u onu četkicu u njegovim ustima, tako da mu razvali prokleto grlo. | This next part I don't remember so hot. All I know is I got up from the bed, like I was going down to the can or something, and then I tried to sock him, with all my might, right smack in the toothbrush, so it would split his goddam throat open. |
| Ali, promašio sam. Nisam je ni zakačio. | Only, I missed. I didn't connect. |
| Uspeo sam samo da ga kresnem po glavi, sa strane ili negde. Verovatno ga je malo i zabolelo, mada ne koliko sam ja želeo. | All I did was sort of get him on the side of the head or something. It probably hurt him a little bit, but not as much as I wanted. |
| Verovatno bi ga gadno zabolelo, ali uradio sam to desnom rukom, a ne mogu baš da stegnem pesnicu tom rukom. Zbog one povrede o kojoj sam vam pričao. | It probably would've hurt him a lot, but I did it with my right hand, and I can't make a good fist with that hand. On account of that injury I told you about. |
| Sve u svemu, sećam se da sam posle toga ležao na prokletom podu, a on mi je sedeo na grudima, sav crven u licu. U stvari, navalio se prokletim kolenima na moje grudi, a bio je težak čitavu tonu. | Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was on the goddam floor and he was sitting on my chest, with his face all red. That is, he had his goddam knees on my chest, and he weighed about a ton. |
| Ščepao me i za zglavke na rukama, tako da nisam mogao ponovo da ga mlatnem. Ubio bih ga, kunem se. | He had hold of my wrists, too, so I couldn't take another sock at him. I'd've killed him. |
| "Koji ti je đavo?" ponavljao je, a njegovo glupo lice postajalo je sve crvenije i crvenije. | "What the hell's the matter with you?" he kept saying, and his stupid face kept getting redder and redder. |
| "Skloni ta odvratna kolena s mojih grudi", govorio sam. Gotovo sam urlao. "Skloni se kad ti govorim, degenu odvratni." | "Get your lousy knees off my chest," I told him. I was almost bawling. I really was. "Go on, get offa me, ya crumby bastard." |
| Ali nije se sklonio. Samo me i dalje držao za ruke, a ja mu govorio da je kreten i sve, jedno deset sati. | He wouldn't do it, though. He kept holding onto my wrists and I kept calling him a sonuvabitch and all, for around ten hours. |
| Ne mogu više da se setim šta sam mu sve govorio. Rekao sam mu kako misli da može da ga strpa svakom ko mu padne na pamet. | I can hardly even remember what all I said to him. I told him he thought he could give the time to anybody he felt like. |
| Rekao sam mu da ga čak i ne zanima da li devojka drži sve svoje kraljeve u zadnjem redu ili ne, i da ga to ne zanima zato što je prokleti degenerisani moron. Mrzeo je kad mu se kaže da je moron. | I told him he didn't even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn't care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. |
| Svi moroni mrze kad im se kaže da su moroni. | All morons hate it when you call them a moron. |
| "Umukni već jednom, Holdene", rekao je, onako velikog glupog crvenog lica. "Umukni već jednom." | "Shut up, now, Holden," he said with his big stupid red face. "just shut up, now." |
| "Ne znaš čak ni da li se ona zove Džejn ili Džin, moronu moronski!" | "You don't even know if her first name is Jane or Jean, ya goddam moron!" |
| "Umukni već jednom, Holdene - opominjem te", rekao je. Baš sam ga izludeo. "Raspaliću te ako ne umukneš." | "Now, shut up, Holden, God damn it―I'm warning ya," he said―I really had him going. "If you don't shut up, I'm gonna slam ya one." |
| "Sklanjaj ta odvratna moronska kolena s mojih grudi." | "Get your dirty stinking moron knees off my chest." |
| "Hoćeš li da umukneš ako te pustim?" Nisam se potrudio da mu odgovorim. Ponovio je pitanje: "Holdene, hoćeš li da umukneš ako te pustim?" | "If I letcha up, will you keep your mouth shut?" I didn't even answer him. He said it over again. "Holden. If I letcha up, willya keep your mouth shut?" |
| "Da." | "Yes." |
| Digao se s mene, pa sam i ja ustao. Grudi su me gadno bolele od njegovih odvratnih kolena. "Ti si odvratni glupi degenerisani moron", rekao sam. | He got up off me, and I got up, too. My chest hurt like hell from his dirty knees. "You're a dirty stupid sonuvabitch of a moron," I told him. |
| To ga je stvarno razbesnelo. Pripretio mi je svojim velikim glupim prstom ispred lica. "Holdene, opominjem te. Poslednji put. Ako ne umukneš već jednom, stvarno ću..." | That got him really mad. He shook his big stupid finger in my face. "Holden, God damn it, I'm warning you, now. For the last time. If you don't keep your yap shut, I'm gonna―" |
| "Zašto bih?" rekoh - bukvalno sam vikao. "U tome i jeste problem sa svim moronima kao što si ti. Nikada nećete da raspravite stvari. Po tome se i vidi ko je moron. Oni nikada neće da rasprave stvari na inteligen..." | "Why should I?" I said―I was practically yelling. "That's just the trouble with all you morons. You never want to discuss anything. That's the way you can always tell a moron. They never want to discuss anything intellig―" |
| Onda me stvarno raspalio, i samo znam da sam se ponovo našao na podu. Ne sećam se da li me nokautirao, ali mislim da nije. Prilično je teško nokautirati nekog, osim u prokletim filmovima. | Then he really let one go at me, and the next thing I knew I was on the goddam floor again. I don't remember if he knocked me out or not, but I don't think so. It's pretty hard to knock a guy out, except in the goddam movies. |
| Ali nos mi je krvario na sve strane. Kad sam pogledao naviše, stari Stredleter je bukvalno stajao na meni. Pod rukom je imao svoj prokleti toaletni pribor. | But my nose was bleeding all over the place. When I looked up old Stradlater was standing practically right on top of me. He had his goddam toilet kit under his arm. |
| "Zašto, dođavola, ne umukneš kad ti govorim?" rekao je. Prilično je nervozno delovao. Verovatno se prepao da mi je pukla lobanja ili nešto kad sam tresnuo na pod. | "Why the hell don'tcha shut up when I tellya to?" he said. He sounded pretty nervous. He probably was scared he'd fractured my skull or something when I hit the floor. |
| Šteta što nije. "Sam si, dođavola, tražio", rekao je. Ljudi moji, baš je zabrinuto izgledao. | It's too bad I didn't. "You asked for it, God damn it," he said. Boy, did he look worried. |
| Nisam se trudio da ustanem. Samo sam ležao neko vreme na podu i govorio mu da je degenerisani moron. Toliko sam bio besan da sam bukvalno urlao. | I didn't even bother to get up. I just lay there in the floor for a while, and kept calling him a moron sonuvabitch. I was so mad, I was practically bawling. |
| "Slušaj. Idi operi lice", rekao je Stredleter. "Čuješ li me?" | "Listen. Go wash your face," Stradlater said. "Ya hear me?" |
| Rekao sam mu neka opere on svoje moronsko lice - što je bilo prilično detinjasto, ali bio sam užasno besan. Rekao sam mu da ga strpa usput gđi Šmit, kada pođe u kupatilo. Gđa Šmit je bila žena našeg domara. Imala je oko šezdeset pet godina. | I told him to go wash his own moron face―which was a pretty childish thing to say, but I was mad as hell. I told him to stop off on the way to the can and give Mrs. Schmidt the time. Mrs. Schmidt was the janitor's wife. She was around sixty-five. |
| Ostao sam na podu sve dok nisam čuo kako Stredleter zatvara vrata i odlazi hodnikom prema kupatilu. Zatim sam ustao. Nigde nisam mogao da nađem onu prokletu lovačku kapu. | I kept sitting there on the floor till I heard old Stradlater close the door and go down the corridor to the can. Then I got up. I couldn't find my goddam hunting hat anywhere. |
| Najzad sam je našao. Bila je pod krevetom. Stavio sam je na glavu i okrenuo dobri stari štitnik naopako, kako se meni sviđa, a onda prišao ogledalu da pogledam svoje idiotsko lice. | Finally I found it. It was under the bed. I put it on, and turned the old peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I went over and took a look at my stupid face in the mirror. |
| Toliko krvi nikada još niste videli u životu. Sva su mi usta bila krvava, brada, pa čak i pidžama i bade-mantil. To me delimično uplašilo, a delimično me fasciniralo. Sva ta krv i ostalo - izgledalo je kao da sam neki surov tip. | You never saw such gore in your life. I had blood all over my mouth and chin and even on my pajamas and bath robe. It partly scared me and it partly fascinated me. All that blood and all sort of made me look tough. |
| Samo sam se možda dvaput tukao u životu i oba puta dobio sam batine. Nisam baš neki surov tip. Ja sam pacifista, ako baš hoćete da znate. | I'd only been in about two fights in my life, and I lost both of them. I'm not too tough. I'm a pacifist, if you want to know the truth. |
| Nešto mi je govorilo da je stari Ekli verovatno čuo čitavu frku i da je budan. I tako sam prošao kroz zavese od tuša u njegovu sobu, tek da vidim šta kog đavola radi. | I had a feeling old Ackley'd probably heard all the racket and was awake. So I went through the shower curtains into his room, just to see what the hell he was doing. |
| Gotovo nikada nisam odlazio u njegovu sobu. Unutra se uvek osećao neki čudan zadah, jer je bio tako aljkav u svojim ličnim navikama. | I hardly ever went over to his room. It always had a funny stink in it, because he was so crumby in his personal habits. |