The Catcher in the Rye

by J.D.Salinger


Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

O piscu i delu

The Catcher in the Rye 

Chapter 20 


    20     20
    Ostao sam da sedim i napijam se, čekajući da se pojave stara Tina i Žanina i izvedu svoju tačku, ali nije ih bilo. Izašao je neki tip pederskog izgleda s talasastom kosom i zasvirao na klaviru, a onda se pojavila ta nova damica, Valensija, i zapevala.     I KEPT SITTING there getting drunk and waiting for old Tina and Janine to come out and do their stuff, but they weren't there. A flitty-looking guy with wavy hair came out and played the piano, and then this new babe, Valencia, came out and sang.
    Pojma nije imala, ali ipak je bila bolja od stare Tine i Žanine i, ako ništa drugo, pevala je dobre stvari. Klavir je bio odmah pored šanka gde sam sedeo i sve, a stara Valensija je stajala bukvalno pored mene. Počeo sam kao da je merkam, ali pravila se da me uopšte ne primećuje.     She wasn't any good, but she was better than old Tina and Janine, and at least she sang good songs. The piano was right next to the bar where I was sitting and all, and old Valencia was standing practically right next to me. I sort of gave her the old eye, but she pretended she didn't even see me.
    Verovatno to ne bih radio da već nisam bio kardinalno pijan. Kad je završila, izgubila se takvom brzinom da nisam stigao čak ni da je pozovem na piće, pa sam pozvao šefa sale.     I probably wouldn't have done it, but I was getting drunk as hell. When she was finished, she beat it out of the room so fast I didn't even get a chance to invite her to join me for a drink, so I called the headwaiter over.
    Rekao sam mu da pita staru Valensiju da li je raspoložena da popije sa mnom nešto. Rekao je da hoće, ali verovatno joj nije čak ni preneo moju poruku. Ljudi nikad nikome ne prenose vaše poruke.     I told him to ask old Valencia if she'd care to join me for a drink. He said he would, but he probably didn't even give her my message. People never give your message to anybody.
    Sve u svemu, sedeo sam u tom prokletom baru sve do oko jedan sat i napio se kao skot. Jedva sam gledao na oči. Ipak, pazio sam da ne postanem bučan ili nešto. Nisam hteo da me neko zapazi, ili da me pita koliko mi je godina.     Boy, I sat at that goddam bar till around one o'clock or so, getting drunk as a bastard. I could hardly see straight. The one thing I did, though, I was careful as hell not to get boisterous or anything. I didn't want anybody to notice me or anything or ask how old I was.
    Ali, ljudi moji, jedva sam gledao na oči. Kada sam se stvarno napio, ponovo sam počeo da izvodim onaj idiotluk s metkom u utrobi. Bio sam jedini lik u baru s metkom u utrobi. Samo sam zavlačio ruku ispod sakoa, preko stomaka i svega, da zadržim krv kako se ne bi razlila na sve strane.     But, boy, I could hardly see straight. When I was really drunk, I started that stupid business with the bullet in my guts again. I was the only guy at the bar with a bullet in their guts. I kept putting my hand under my jacket, on my stomach and all, to keep the blood from dripping all over the place.
    Nisam hteo da iko sazna da sam uopšte ranjen. Prikrivao sam činjenicu da sam ranjeni skot. Šta mi je na kraju došlo - došlo mi je da okrenem Džejn i vidim da li je stigla kući. I tako sam platio i sve. Onda sam ustao od šanka i otišao do telefonske govornice. Sve vreme sam zavlačio ruku ispod sakoa, da zadržim krv. Ljudi moji, kako sam bio pijan.     I didn't want anybody to know I was even wounded. I was concealing the fact that I was a wounded sonuvabitch. Finally what I felt like, I felt like giving old Jane a buzz and see if she was home yet. So I paid my check and all. Then I left the bar and went out where the telephones were. I kept keeping my hand under my jacket to keep the blood from dripping. Boy, was I drunk.
    Međutim, kad sam ušao u govornicu, nisam više bio raspoložen da okrenem Džejn. Bio sam verovatno previše pijan. I tako, šta sam uradio - okrenuo sam Sali.     But when I got inside this phone booth, I wasn't much in the mood any more to give old Jane a buzz. I was too drunk, I guess. So what I did, I gave old Sally Hayes a buzz.
    Okrenuo sam jedno dvadeset brojeva dok nisam pogodio onaj pravi. Ljudi moji, kako sam oslepeo.     I had to dial about twenty numbers before I got the right one. Boy, was I blind.
    "Zdravo", rekao sam kad se neko javio na prokleti telefon. Dreknuo sam, izgleda, toliko sam bio pijan.     "Hello," I said when somebody answered the goddam phone. I sort of yelled it, I was so drunk.
    "Ko je to?" rekao je neki vrlo hladan ženski glas.     "Who is this?" this very cold lady's voice said.
    "Ja sam. Holden Kolfild. Dajte mi Sali".     "This is me. Holden Caulfield. Lemme speaka Sally, please."
    "Sali spava. Ovde njena baka. Zašto zoveš u ovo doba, Holdene? Znaš li koliko je sati?"     "Sally's asleep. This is Sally's grandmother. Why are you calling at this hour, Holden? Do you know what time it is?"
    "Aha. 'Oću Sali. Važno je. Dajte je."     "Yeah. Wanna talka Sally. Very important. Put her on."
    "Sali spava, mladiću. Zovi je sutra. A sad, laku noć."     "Sally's asleep, young man. Call her tomorrow. Good night."
    "Probudite je! Probudite je, ej! Bravo."     "Wake 'er up! Wake 'er up, hey. Attaboy."
    Onda se javio neki drugi glas. "Holdene, ja sam." Bila je to Sali. "U čemu je problem?"     Then there was a different voice. "Holden, this is me." It was old Sally. "What's the big idea?"
    "Sali? Ti si?"     "Sally? That you?"
    "Da - prestani da urlaš. Šta si, pijan?"     "Yes―stop screaming. Are you drunk?"
    "Aha. Slušaj, Slušaj, ej. Dolazim na Badnje veče. Važi? Da ti kitim jelku. Važi? Je l' važi, ej, Sali?"     "Yeah. Listen. Listen, hey. I'll come over Christmas Eve. Okay? Trimma goddam tree for ya. Okay? Okay, hey, Sally?"
    "Da. Pijan si. Idi sad u krevet. Gde si? Ko je s tobom?"     "Yes. You're drunk. Go to bed now. Where are you? Who's with you?"
    "Sali? Dolazim da kitim jelku, važi? Je l' važi, ej?"     "Sally? I'll come over and trimma tree for ya, okay? Okay, hey?"
    "Da. Idi sad u krevet. Gde si? Ko je tamo s tobom?"     "Yes. Go to bed now. Where are you? Who's with you?"
    "Niko. Sa mnom sam." Ljudi moji, kako sam bio pijan! Čak sam se i dalje držao za stomak. "Sredili su me. Rokijeva banda me sredila. Je l' znaš? Sali, je l' znaš?" "Ne čujem te.     "Nobody. Me, myself and I." Boy was I drunk! I was even still holding onto my guts. "They got me. Rocky's mob got me. You know that? Sally, you know that?" "I can't hear you.
    Idi sad u krevet. Moram da idem. Zovi me sutra."     Go to bed now. I have to go. Call me tomorrow."
    "Ej, Sali! 'Oćeš da ti kitim jelku? 'Oćeš li, ej?"     "Hey, Sally! You want me trimma tree for ya? Ya want me to? Huh?"
    "Da. Laku noć. Idi sad kući i lezi."     "Yes. Good night. Go home and go to bed."
    Spustila je slušalicu.     She hung up on me.

    "Laku noć. Laku noć, Sališka. Sali moja slatka", rekao sam. Možete li da zamislite koliko sam bio pijan? Onda sam i ja okačio slušalicu.     "G'night. G'night, Sally baby. Sally sweetheart darling," I said. Can you imagine how drunk I was? I hung up too, then.
    Zaključio sam da se verovatno tek vratila kući s nekog sastanka. Zamislio sam je negde napolju sa Lantovima i onim endoverskim klipanom.     I figured she probably just came home from a date. I pictured her out with the Lunts and all somewhere, and that Andover jerk.
    Svi plivaju naokolo u prokletom loncu punom čaja i odvajaju neke visoko intelektualne razgovore, krajnje šarmantni i isfolirani. Stravično sam zažalio što sam joj telefonirao. Kad sam pijan, potpuno sam lud.     All of them swimming around in a goddam pot of tea and saying sophisticated stuff to each other and being charming and phony. I wished to God I hadn't even phoned her. When I'm drunk, I'm a madman.
    Ostao sam prilično dugo u prokletoj govornici. Držao sam se kao za telefon, da ne izgubim svest. Nisam se baš čarobno osećao, moram da priznam.     I stayed in the damn phone booth for quite a while. I kept holding onto the phone, sort of, so I wouldn't pass out. I wasn't feeling too marvelous, to tell you the truth.
    Na kraju sam ipak izašao iz te govornice i otišao u muški toalet, teturajući se naokolo kao moron, i napunio jedan od lavaboa hladnom vodom. Onda sam zagnjurio glavu, skroz do ušiju. Nisam se ni trudio da je osušim ili nešto.     Finally, though, I came out and went in the men's room, staggering around like a moron, and filled one of the washbowls with cold water. Then I dunked my head in it, right up to the ears. I didn't even bother to dry it or anything.
    Pustio sam neka se cedi, gadura. Onda sam prešao do nekog radijatora kraj prozora i seo na njega. Bio je lep i topao. Stvarno je prijao, jer sam se tresao kao skot. Smešno je to, uvek se tresem kao sumanut kad se napijem.     I just let the sonuvabitch drip. Then I walked over to this radiator by the window and sat down on it. It was nice and warm. It felt good because I was shivering like a bastard. It's a funny thing, I always shiver like hell when I'm drunk.
    Nisam imao šta drugo da radim, pa sam samo sedeo na radijatoru i brojao one male bele kockice na podu. Sav sam bio mokar. Jedno galon vode curio mi je niz vrat, preko kragne i kravate i svega, ali nisam mario za to.     I didn't have anything else to do, so I kept sitting on the radiator and counting these little white squares on the floor. I was getting soaked. About a gallon of water was dripping down my neck, getting all over my collar and tie and all, but I didn't give a damn.
    Bio sam suviše pijan da bih mario za to. A onda je, posle nekog vremena, lik koji je pratio staru Valensiju na klaviru, onaj lik pederskog izgleda i talasaste kose, ušao da očešlja svoje zlatne uvojke. Odvojili smo kao neki razgovor dok se češljao, samo što on nije bio preterano ljubazan.     I was too drunk to give a damn. Then, pretty soon, the guy that played the piano for old Valencia, this very wavy-haired, flitty-looking guy, came in to comb his golden locks. We sort of struck up a conversation while he was combing it, except that he wasn't too goddam friendly.
    "Ej, 'oćete li videti onu malu, onu Valensiju, kad se vratite u bar?" upitao sam ga.     "Hey. You gonna see that Valencia babe when you go back in the bar?" I asked him.
    "Postoji velika mogućnost za to", rekao je. Vickast neki tip. Stalno nalećem na neke vickaste tipove u životu.     "It's highly probable," he said. Witty bastard. All I ever meet is witty bastards.
    "Čujte. Prenesite joj moje komplimente. Pitajte je da li joj je kelner preneo moju poruku?"     "Listen. Give her my compliments. Ask her if that goddam waiter gave her my message, willya?"
    "Zašto ne odeš kući, šefe? Koliko uopšte imaš godina?"     "Why don't you go home, Mac? How old are you, anyway?"
    "Osamdeset šest. Čujte. Prenesite joj moje komplimente. Važi?"     "Eighty-six. Listen. Give her my compliments. Okay?"
    "Zašto ne odeš kući, šefe?"     "Why don't you go home, Mac?"
    "Ne ja. Nego, odlično svirate onaj klavir", rekoh. Samo sam mu laskao. Odvratno je svirao, ako baš hoćete da znate.     "Not me. Boy, you can play that goddam piano." I told him. I was just flattering him. He played the piano stinking, if you want to know the truth.
    "Trebalo bi da odete na radio", rekoh. "Takav lepotan kao vi. Sa svim tim zlaćanim loknama. Treba li vam menadžer?"     "You oughta go on the radio," I said. "Handsome chap like you. All those goddam golden locks. Ya need a manager?"
    "Idi kući, šefe. Budi dobar dečko. Idi kući i pravo u krevet."     "Go home, Mac, like a good guy. Go home and hit the sack."
    "Nemam nikakvu kuću. Bez zezanja - treba li vam menadžer?"     "No home to go to. No kidding―you need a manager?"
    Nije mi odgovorio. Samo je izašao. Konačno je završio češljanje i lickanje pa je otišao. Kao Stredleter. Svi su ti lepotani isti. Kad završe s lickanjem proklete frizure, samo ti okrenu leđa.     He didn't answer me. He just went out. He was all through combing his hair and patting it and all, so he left. Like Stradlater. All these handsome guys are the same. When they're done combing their goddam hair, they beat it on you.
    Kad sam najzad sišao sa radijatora i pošao ka garderobi, plakao sam i sve. Ne znam zašto, ali plakao sam. Možda zato što sam se osećao tako odvratno potišten i usamljen. A onda, kad sam došao do garderobe, nisam mogao da nađem prokleti broj.     When I finally got down off the radiator and went out to the hat-check room, I was crying and all. I don't know why, but I was. I guess it was because I was feeling so damn depressed and lonesome. Then, when I went out to the checkroom, I couldn't find my goddam check.
    Devojka koja je tu radila bila je, ipak, veoma ljubazna. Dala mi je kaput i bez broja. I moju ploču "Mala Širli Bins" - još sam je nosio i sve. Dao sam joj dolar što je tako dobra, ali nije htela da uzme.     The hat-check girl was very nice about it, though. She gave me my coat anyway. And my "Little Shirley Beans" record―I still had it with me and all. I gave her a buck for being so nice, but she wouldn't take it.
    Samo mi je govorila da odem kući i legnem. Pokušao sam da joj kao zakažem sudar kad završi s poslom, ali nije htela. Rekla je da je dovoljno stara da mi bude majka i sve. Pokazao sam joj onaj moj sedi pramen u kosi i rekao joj da sam napunio četrdeset dve.     She kept telling me to go home and go to bed. I sort of tried to make a date with her for when she got through working, but she wouldn't do it. She said she was old enough to be my mother and all. I showed her my goddam gray hair and told her I was forty-two―I was only horsing around, naturally. She was nice, though.
    Pokazao sam joj i onu crvenu lovačku kapu i dopala joj se. Naterala me da je stavim pre izlaska jer mi je kosa bila još prilično mokra. Stvarno je bila ljubazna.     I showed her my goddam red hunting hat, and she liked it. She made me put it on before I went out, because my hair was still pretty wet. She was all right.
    Nisam se više osećao tako pijan kad sam izašao, ali napolju je opet postalo veoma hladno i zubi su mi cvokotali kao ludi. Nisam mogao da ih obuzdam.     I didn't feel too drunk any more when I went outside, but it was getting very cold out again, and my teeth started chattering like hell. I couldn't make them stop.
    Otišao sam do Medison avenije i stao da sačekam autobus, jer mi nije ostalo gotovo ništa od svih onih para, pa sam morao da počnem da štedim na taksiju i svemu. Ali nije mi se ulazilo u prokleti autobus. Osim toga, uopšte nisam znao kuda bi trebalo da idem.     I walked over to Madison Avenue and started to wait around for a bus because I didn't have hardly any money left and I had to start economizing on cabs and all. But I didn't feel like getting on a damn bus. And besides, I didn't even know where I was supposed to go.
    I tako, šta sam uradio - krenuo sam prema parku. Smislio sam da odem do onog jezerceta i vidim šta, kog đavola, rade patke, da vidim ima li ih tamo ili ih nema.     So what I did, I started walking over to the park. I figured I'd go by that little lake and see what the hell the ducks were doing, see if they were around or not, I still didn't know if they were around or not.
    Park nije bio daleko, a ja nisam znao neko drugo mesto kuda bih pošao - nisam znao čak ni gde ću da spavam - pa sam pošao tamo. Nisam bio umoran ili nešto. Samo sam bio stravično potišten.     It wasn't far over to the park, and I didn't have anyplace else special to go to―I didn't even know where I was going to sleep yet―so I went. I wasn't tired or anything. I just felt blue as hell.
    Onda se nešto užasno desilo, baš kad sam ušao u park. Ispustio sam Febinu ploču. Razbila se u jedno pedeset komada. Bila je u velikom omotu i sve, ali ipak se razbila.     Then something terrible happened just as I got in the park. I dropped old Phoebe's record. It broke-into about fifty pieces. It was in a big envelope and all, but it broke anyway.
    Samo što nisam zaplakao, toliko mi je bilo žao zbog toga, ali samo sam izvadio komadiće iz omota i strpao ih u džep kaputa. Nisu više bili ni za šta, ali nije mi se dalo da ih bacim. Onda sam zašao u park. Ljudi moji, kako je bilo mračno. Proživeo sam ceo svoj život u Njujorku i poznajem Central-park kao sopstveni dlan, jer sam se kao dete stalno vozio na rolšuama ili biciklom po njemu, ali stravično sam se namučio da nađem ono jezerce te noći.     I damn near cried, it made me feel so terrible, but all I did was, I took the pieces out of the envelope and put them in my coat pocket. They weren't any good for anything, but I didn't feel like just throwing them away. Then I went in the park. Boy, was it dark. I've lived in New York all my life, and I know Central Park like the back of my hand, because I used to roller-skate there all the time and ride my bike when I was a kid, but I had the most terrific trouble finding that lagoon that night.
    Tačno sam znao gde je - baš na južnom delu parka i sve - ali ipak nisam mogao da ga nađem.     I knew right where it was―it was right near Central Park South and all―but I still couldn't find it.

    Mora da sam bio pijaniji nego što sam mislio. Hodao sam i hodao, a oko mene je postajalo sve mračnije i mračnije, sve sablasnije i sablasnije.     I must've been drunker than I thought. I kept walking and walking, and it kept getting darker and darker and spookier and spookier.
    Nisam video ni žive duše oko sebe, za sve vreme" otkako sam ušao u park. A i bolje. Verovatno bih odskočio na kilometar da sam video nekog.     I didn't see one person the whole time I was in the park. I'm just as glad. I probably would've jumped about a mile if I had.
    Onda sam ga najzad pronašao. Na jednom delu bilo je zaleđeno, a na drugom nije. Ali nisam video nikakve patke. Obišao sam oko čitavog prokletog jezera - jednom sam zamalo upao, u suštini - ali nisam video ni jednu jedinu patku.     Then, finally, I found it. What it was, it was partly frozen and partly not frozen. But I didn't see any ducks around. I walked all around the whole damn lake―I damn near fell in once, in fact―but I didn't see a single duck.
    Mislio sam, ako ih tu uopšte ima, da možda spavaju ili nešto, uz samu obalu, negde blizu trave i sve. Tako sam zamalo upao u vodu. Ali nijednu nisam našao.     I thought maybe if there were any around, they might be asleep or something near the edge of the water, near the grass and all. That's how I nearly fell in. But I couldn't find any.
    Na kraju sam seo na neku klupu, gde nije bilo tako prokleto mračno. Ljudi moji, i dalje sam se tresao kao skot, a kosa na potiljku, iako sam imao onu lovačku kapu na glavi, bila mi je puna malih ledenica. To me zabrinulo. Pomislio sam da ću verovatno dobiti zapaljenje pluća i umreti.     Finally I sat down on this bench, where it wasn't so goddam dark. Boy, I was still shivering like a bastard, and the back of my hair, even though I had my hunting hat on, was sort of full of little hunks of ice. That worried me. I thought probably I'd get pneumonia and die.
    Zamišljao sam kako mali milion mamlaza dolazi na moj pogreb i sve. Moj deda iz Detroita, koji izvikuje nazive ulica kad se voziš s njim u prokletom autobusu, i moje tetke - imam jedno pedeset tetaka - i svi ostali imbecilni rođaci. Kakva bi se banda skupila.     I started picturing millions of jerks coming to my funeral and all. My grandfather from Detroit, that keeps calling out the numbers of the streets when you ride on a goddam bus with him, and my aunts―I have about fifty aunts―and all my lousy cousins. What a mob'd be there.
    Svi su oni došli kad je Eli umro, čitava idiotska gomila njih. Imam neku glupu tetku što pati od zadaha iz usta, koja je stalno ponavljala kako on spokojno izgleda na odru. To mi je D.B. pričao. Nisam bio tamo. Još sam bio u bolnici. Morao sam u bolnicu kad sam povredio ruku.     They all came when Allie died, the whole goddam stupid bunch of them. I have this one stupid aunt with halitosis that kept saying how peaceful he looked lying there, D.B. told me. I wasn't there. I was still in the hospital. I had to go to the hospital and all after I hurt my hand. Anyway, I kept worrying that I was getting pneumonia, with all those hunks of ice in my hair, and that I was going to die.
    Sve u svemu, zabrinuo sam se da me čeka zapaljenje pluća, sa svim onim ledenicima u kosi, i da ću umreti. Strašno mi je bilo žao majke i oca. Posebno majke, jer još nije prežalila mog brata Elija. Zamišljao sam kako neće znati šta da uradi sa svom mojom odećom, sportskim rekvizitima i ostalim glupostima.     I felt sorry as hell for my mother and father. Especially my mother, because she still isn't over my brother Allie yet. I kept picturing her not knowing what to do with all my suits and athletic equipment and all.
    Jedina dobra stvar u svemu tome bilo je što sam znao da ne bi pustila Febu na moj prokleti pogreb, jer je još uvek dete. To je bila jedina dobra strana toga. Onda sam pomislio na svu tu gomilu kako me trpa u prokleto groblje, s mojim imenom na nadgrobnoj ploči i sve.     The only good thing, I knew she wouldn't let old Phoebe come to my goddam funeral because she was only a little kid. That was the only good part. Then I thought about the whole bunch of them sticking me in a goddam cemetery and all, with my name on this tombstone and all.
    Okružen mrtvim likovima. Ljudi moji, baš te srede kada umreš. Iz dna duše se nadam da će neko, kada stvarao umrem, imati toliko mozga da me jednostavno baci u reku ili negde. Sve drugo, samo da me ne trpaju u prokleto groblje.     Surrounded by dead guys. Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery.
    Ljudi dolaze i stavljaju ti bukete cveća na stomak nedeljom, uz sve ostale gluposti. Kome treba cveće kada umreš? Nikome.     People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
    Kad je vreme lepo, moji često odlaze s buketima cveća na Elijev grob. Išao sam s njima nekoliko puta, ali prestao sam. Kao prvo, sigurno je da ne uživam da ga vidim na tom idiotskom groblju. Okruženog mrtvim ljudima i nadgrobnim spomenicima i sve.     When the weather's nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of flowers on old Allie's grave. I went with them a couple of times, but I cut it out. In the first place, I certainly don't enjoy seeing him in that crazy cemetery. Surrounded by dead guys and tombstones and all.
    Nije bilo tako loše kada ima sunca, ali dvaput - dvaput - je počela kiša kad smo bili tamo. Bilo je odvratno. Kiša je padala na njegovu idiotsku nadgrobnu ploču, padala je na travu nad njegovim stomakom. Padala je na sve strane.     It wasn't too bad when the sun was out, but twice―twice―we were there when it started to rain. It was awful. It rained on his lousy tombstone, and it rained on the grass on his stomach. It rained all over the place.
    Svi koji su došli na groblje počeli su da trče kao sumanuti prema svojim kolima. To je ono od čega sam gotovo poludeo. Svi koji su došli na groblje mogli su da uđu u svoja kola i uključe radio i sve, a zatim odu da ručaju na neko lepo mesto - svi osim Elija. Nisam to mogao da podnesem.     All the visitors that were visiting the cemetery started running like hell over to their cars. That's what nearly drove me crazy. All the visitors could get in their cars and turn on their radios and all and then go someplace nice for dinner―everybody except Allie. I couldn't stand it.
    Znam da je na groblju samo njegovo telo i da mu je duša na nebu i ostale gluposti, ali svejedno nisam to mogao da podnesem. Voleo bih da nije tamo, to je sve. Niste ga poznavali. Da ste ga poznavali, znali biste o čemu govorim. Nije tako loše kada sija sunce, ali sunce sija samo kad se njemu sija.     I know it's only his body and all that's in the cemetery, and his soul's in Heaven and all that crap, but I couldn't stand it anyway. I just wish he wasn't there. You didn't know him. If you'd known him, you'd know what I mean. It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.
    Posle nekog vremena, tek da bih skrenuo misli sa zapaljenja pluća i ostalog, izvadio sam preostali novac i pokušao da ga prebrojim pod bednim svetlom fenjera u parku. Ostalo mi je samo tri novčanice od po jedan dolar, pet novčića od dvadeset pet centi i jedan od deset centi - ljudi moji, spiskao sam čitavo bogatstvo otkako sam napustio Pensi.     After a while, just to get my mind off getting pneumonia and all, I took out my dough and tried to count it in the lousy light from the street lamp. All I had was three singles and five quarters and a nickel left―boy, I spent a fortune since I left Pencey.
    Šta sam onda uradio - spustio sam se do samog jezerca i šibnuo sve te novčiće da onako odskakuju po površini, tamo gde nije bilo zaleđeno.     Then what I did, I went down near the lagoon and I sort of skipped the quarters and the nickel across it, where it wasn't frozen.
    Ne znam zašto sam to uradio, ali uradio sam. Valjda sam mislio da će mi to skrenuti misli sa zapaljenja pluća i umiranja. Ali nije.     I don't know why I did it, but I did it. I guess I thought it'd take my mind off getting pneumonia and dying. It didn't, though.
    Počeo sam da razmišljam kako bi se Feba osećala kad bih dobio zapaljenje pluća i umro. Detinjasto je razmišljati na taj način, ali nisam mogao drukčije. Bilo bi joj prilično teško kad bi se tako nešto desilo. Prilič- no sam joj drag. Mislim, mnogo me voli. Najozbiljnije.     I started thinking how old Phoebe would feel if I got pneumonia and died. It was a childish way to think, but I couldn't stop myself. She'd feel pretty bad if something like that happened. She likes me a lot. I mean she's quite fond of me. She really is.
    Sve u svemu, nisam mogao da ne mislim o tome, pa sam na kraju smislio šta da uradim - smislio sam kako je najbolje da se ušunjam u kuću i vidim je, za slučaj da umrem i sve.     Anyway, I couldn't get that off my mind, so finally what I figured I'd do, I figured I'd better sneak home and see her, in case I died and all.
    Imao sam ključ od ulaznih vrata, pa sam smislio šta da uradim - da se maksimalno tiho ušunjam u stan, a onda samo popričam malo s njom.     I had my door key with me and all, and I figured what I'd do, I'd sneak in the apartment, very quiet and all, and just sort of chew the fat with her for a while.
    Jedino što me brinulo bila su ulazna vrata. Jezivo škripe.     The only thing that worried me was our front door. It creaks like a bastard.
    To je prilično stara zgrada, a nastojnik je užasno lenj, pa sve škripi i cijuče. Plašio sam se da me moji ne čuju kad se ušunjam. Ali ipak sam rešio da probam.     It's a pretty old apartment house, and the superintendent's a lazy bastard, and everything creaks and squeaks. I was afraid my parents might hear me sneaking in. But I decided I'd try it anyhow.
    I tako sam se najzad maknuo iz parka i krenuo kući. Hodao sam čitavim putem. Nije bilo mnogo daleko, a ja nisam bio umoran. Nisam više bio čak ni pijan. Bilo je samo veoma hladno i nigde nikog u blizini.     So I got the hell out of the park, and went home. I walked all the way. It wasn't too far, and I wasn't tired or even drunk any more. It was just very cold and nobody around anywhere.


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