 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 32 | |
| The gentle-eyed, horse-faced maid let me in the long gray and white upstairs sitting room with the ivory drapes tumbled extravagantly on the floor and the white carpet from wall to wall. A screen star’s boudoir, a place of charm and seduction, artificial as a wooden leg. It was empty at the moment. The door closed behind me with the unnatural softness of a hospital door. A breakfast table on wheels stood by the chaise lounge. Its silver glittered. There were cigarette ashes in the coffee cup. I sat down and waited. | Sobarica blagih očiju i konjskoga lica uvela me u dugački bijeli i sivi salon na katu s draperijama boje bjelokosti što su se ekstravagantno rušile na pod i bijelim sagom od zida do zida. Budoar filmske zvijezde, mjesto šarma i zavođenja, artificijelan poput drvene noge. U tom je trenutku bio prazan, Vrata su se zatvorila za mnom s neprirodnom mekoćom bolničkih vrata. Stol za doručkovanje na kotačima stajao je pokraj ležaljke. Svjetlucalo je njego- vo srebro. U šalici za kavu bio je pepeo cigarete. Sjeo sam i počekao. |
| It seemed a long time before the door opened again and Vivian came in. She was in oyster-white lounging pajamas trimmed with white fur, cut as flowingly as a summer sea frothing on the beach of some small and exclusive island. | Činilo se da je prošlo mnogo vremena prije no što sii se vrata opet otvorila i Vivian ušla. Bila je u bijeloj pidžami boje ostriga, obrubljenoj bijelim krznom, skrojenoj tako lepršavo kao što se ljetno more pjeni na plaži nekog malog i ekskluzivnog otoka. |
| She went past me in long smooth strides and sat down on the edge of the chaise lounge. There was a cigarette in her lips, at the corner of her mouth. Her nails today were copper red from quick to tip, without half moons. | Prošla je kraj mene dugačkim laganim koracima i sjela na rub ležaljke. U ustima joj je bila cigareta, u kutu usana. Nokti su joj danas bili bakreno crveni od mesa do vrha, bez polumjeseca. |
| “So you’re just a brute after all,” she said quietly, staring at me. “An utter callous brute. You killed a man last night. Never mind how I heard it. I heard it. And now you have to come out here and frighten my kid sister into a fit.” | — I tako, na kraju ste svega ipak divljak — rekla je tiho, zureći u mene. — Potpuno okorjeli grubijan. Sinoć ste ubili čovjeka. Nije važno kako sam za to čula. Čula sam. A sada ste morali doći amo da biste mi sestricu uplašili toliko da je dobila napadaj. |
| I didn’t say a word. She began to fidget. She moved over to a slipper chair and put her head back against a white cushion that lay along the back of the chair against the wall. She blew pale gray smoke upwards and watched it float towards the ceiling and come apart in wisps that were for a little while distinguishable from the air and then melted and were nothing. Then very slowly she lowered her eyes and gave me a cool, hard glance. | Nisam rekao ni riječi. Počela se vrpoljiti.'Prebacila se do tapeciranog stolca i stavila glavu na bijeli jastuk što je ležao duž naslona stolice koja je bila prislonjena uza zid. Ispuhnula je blijedosivi dim prema gore i promatrala ga kako lebdi prema stropu, da bi se uzdižući raspao u pramenove koji su još samo časak bili razaznatijivi od okolnog zraka, s kojim bi se stopili i pretvorili u ništa. Tada je vrlo sporo spustila oči i uputila mi hladan, tvrd pogled. |
| “I don’t understand you,” she said. “I’m thankful as hell one of us kept his head the night before last. It’s bad enough to have a bootlegger in my past. Why don’t you for Christ’s sake say something?” | — Ne razumijem vas — rekla je. — Zahvalna sam vam do đavola što je jedno od nas ostalo pri sebi pretprošle noći. Dosta je zla već i to što imam švercera u prošlosti. Zašto za ime božje ne kažete nešto? |
| “How is she?” | — Kako joj je? |
| “Oh, she’s all right, I suppose. Fast asleep. She always goes to sleep. What did you do to her?” | — O, sve u redu, pretpostavljam. Brzo zaspala. Uvijek spava. Što ste joj učinili? |
| “Not a thing. I came out of the house after seeing your father and she was out in front. She had been throwing darts at a target on a tree. I went down to speak to her because I had something that belonged to her. A little revolver Owen Taylor gave her once. She took it over to Brody’s place the other evening, the evening he was killed. I had to take it away from her there. I didn’t mention it, so perhaps you didn’t know it.” | — Baš ništa. Izišao sam iz kuće nakon što sam vidio oca, i ona je bila ispred nje. Bacala je strelice u metu na dr-ve'ttr. Sišao sam dolje da joj nešto kažem, jer sam imao nešto što joj pripada. Mali revolver što joj ga je jednom dao Ovven Tavlor. Donijela ga je jednom u Brodvjev apartman jedne druge večeri, one koje je ubijen. Ondje sam ioj ga morao uzeti. Nisam to spomenuo, i zato možda ne znate za to." |
| The black Sternwood eyes got large and empty. It was her turn not to say anything. | Crne su sternvudovske oči postale velike i prazne. Sad je na njoj bio red da ne kaže ništa. |
| “She was pleased to get her little gun back and she wanted me to teach her how to shoot and she wanted to show me the old oil wells down the hill where your family made some of its money. So we went down there and the place was pretty creepy, all rusted metal and old wood and silent wells and greasy scummy sumps. Maybe that upset her. I guess you’ve been there yourself. It was kind of eerie.” | — Bila je sretna što je dobila natrag svoj pištoljčić, i tako je željela da je naučim pucati i željela mi je pokazati stare naftne izvore ispod brda na kojima ste vi i vaša obitelj stekli nešto od svog novca. I tako smo sišli tamo, a mjesto je bilo prilično grozno sa svim tim zarđalim metalom i starim drvetom i tihim vrelima i masnim jamama punim pjene. Možda ju je to uznemirilo. Pretpostavljam da ste i sami bili ondje. Ima nešto sablasno. |
| “Yes—it is.” It was a small breathless voice now. | — Da... ima. — Sad je to bio sitni glasić bez daha. |
| “So we went in there and I stuck a can up in a bull wheel for her to pop at. She threw a wingding. Looked like a mild epileptic fit to me.” | — I tako smo ušli onamo i ja sam postavio konzervu u strojni kotač da je može skinuti. Došla joj je žuta minuta. Meni je to izgledalo kao blagi napadaj padavice. |
| “Yes.” The same minute voice. “She has them once in a while. Is that all you wanted to see me about?” | — Da. — Isti sićušni glasić. — Imala ga je jednom davno. Je K to sve zbog čega ste me željeli vidjeti? |
| “I guess you still wouldn’t tell me what Eddie Mars has on you.” | — Pretpostavljam da mi još ne želite kazati što je Ed-die Mars imao o vama. |
| “Nothing at all. And I’m getting a little tired of that question,” she said coldly. | — Uopće ništa. Postajem već pomalo umorna od tog pitanja — rekla je hladno. |
| “Do you know a man named Canino?” She drew her fine black brows together in thought. “Vaguely. I seem to remember the name.” | — Poznajete li čovjeka imenom Canino? Skupila je svoje fine crne obrve razmišljajući. — Nejasno. Čini mi se da se sjećam imena. |
| “Eddie Mars’ trigger man. A tough hombre, they said. I guess he was. Without a little help from a lady I’d be where he is—in the morgue.” | — Upucavač Eddija Marsa. Žilav hombre, vele. I mislim da je bio. Bez male pomoći sa strane jedne dame bio bih gdje je on sada: u mrtvačnici. |
| “The ladies seem to—” She stopped dead and whitened. “I can’t joke about it,” she said simply. | — Čini se da dame ... — Naglo se zaustavila i probli-jedila. — Ne mogu se zezati s tim — rekla je jednostavno. |
| “I’m not joking, and if I seem to talk in circles, it just seems that way. It all ties together—everything. Geiger and his cute little blackmail tricks, Brody and his pictures, Eddie Mars and his roulette tables, Canino and the girl Rusty Regan didn’t run away with. It all ties together.” | — Ne zezam se, a ako se čini da kružim okolo, to se samo čini. Sve se to povezuje jedno s drugim, sve. Geiger i njegovi lukavi sitni ucjenjivački trikovi, Brody i njegove slike, Eddie Mars i stolovi za rulet, Canino i cura s kojom Rusty Regan nije pobjegao. Sve se to povezuje. |
| “I’m afraid I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” | — Bojim se da ne znam čak ni o čemu govorite. |
| “Suppose you did—it would be something like this. Geiger got his hooks into your sister, which isn’t very difficult, and got some notes from her and tried to blackmail your father with them, in a nice way. Eddie Mars was behind Geiger, protecting him and using him for a cat’s-paw. Your father sent for me instead of paying up, which showed he wasn’t scared about anything. Eddie Mars wanted to know that. | — Pretpostavimo da znate; u tom bi slučaju izgledalo ovako. Geiger je dobio vašu sestru na udicu, što i nije bilo jako teško, dobio neke priznanice od nje i pokušao njima ucijeniti vašeg oca, na lijep način. Iza njega je stajao Eddie Mars, štiteći ga i upotrebljavajući kao svog eksponenta. Vaš je otac, umjesto da plati, poslao mene, što je pokazalo da se ničega ne boji. Eddie Mars je to želio znati. |
| He had something on you and he wanted to know if he had it on the General too. If he had, he could collect a lot of money in a hurry. If not, he would have to wait until you got your share of the family fortune, and in the meantime be satisfied with whatever spare cash he could take away from you across the roulette table. Geiger was killed by Owen Taylor, who was in love with your silly little sister and didn’t like the kind of games Geiger played with her. That didn’t mean anything to Eddie. | Imao je nešto o vama, i želio je znati ima li time i nešto o generalu. Da je imao, mogao je na brzinu pokupiti mnogo love. Da nije, morao bi pričekati dok ne dobijete svoj dio obiteljskog imetka, i u međuvremenu se zadovoljiti s ono malo sitniša što bi vam mogao uzeti preko stola za rulet. Geigera je ubio Owen Tavlor, koji je bio zaljubljen u vašu ludu sestricu, i kojemu se nije dopadala vrst igre koju ovaj s njom igra. To Eddiju nije značilo ništa. |
| He was playing a deeper game than Geiger knew anything about, or than Brody knew anything about, or anybody except you and Eddie and a tough guy named Canino. Your husband disappeared and Eddie, knowing everybody knew there had been bad blood between him and Regan, hid his wife out at Realito and put Canino to guard her, so that it would look as if she had run away with Regan. He even got Regan’s car into the garage of the place where Mona Mars had been living. But that sounds a little silly taken merely as an attempt to divert suspicion that Eddie had killed your husband or had him killed. It isn’t so silly, really. | On je igrao skroviti ju igru od one o kojoj bi Geiger išta znao, ili Brody, ili bilo tko osim vas i Eddija i žilavog momka imenom Canino. Vaš je muž nestao, i Eddie je, znajući da je svatko znao da je između njega i Regana bilo zle krvi, sakrio svoju ženu tamo u Realitu i postavio Canina da je čuva, tako da bi izgledalo kao da je ona pobjegla s Reganom. Čak je strpao i Reganov automobil u garažu u blizini koje je živjela Mona Mars. Ali to zvuči malo zvrknuto ako se shvati samo kao pokušaj da se skrene sumnja da je Eddie ubio ili dao ubiti vašeg muža. Ali uistinu, nije bilo zvrckasto. |
| He had another motive. He was playing for a million or so. He knew where Regan had gone and why and he didn’t want the police to have to find out. He wanted them to have an explanation of the disappearance that would keep them satisfied. Am I boring you?” | Imao je drugi motiv. Igrao je u milijun ili tako nešto. Znao je kamo je Regan otišao i zašto ne želi da ga policija nađe. Želio je da ona objasni nestanak na način koji bi je zadovoljio. Dosađujem vam? |
| “You tire me,” she said in a dead, exhausted voice. “God, how you tire me!” | — Zamarate me — rekla je mrtvim, iscrpljenim gla som. — Bože, kako me zamarate! |
| “I’m sorry. I’m not just fooling around trying to be clever. Your father offered me a thousand dollars this morning to find Regan. That’s a lot of money to me, but I can’t do it.” | — Žao mi je. Ja se naprosto ne zezam okolo pokušavajući ispasti pametan. Jutros mi je vaš otac ponudio tisuću dolara da pronađem Regana. To je za mene mnogo novca, ali to ipak ne mogu učiniti. |
| Her mouth jumped open. Her breath was suddenly strained and harsh. “Give me a cigarette,” she said thickly. “Why?” The pulse in her throat had begun to throb. | Usta su joj se poskočivši otvorila. Disanje joj je naglo postalo hrapavo i napeto. — Dajte mi cigaretu — rekla je muklo. — Zašto? — Bilo joj je u vratu počelo pulsirati. |
| I gave her a cigarette and lit a match and held it for her. She drew in a lungful of smoke and let it out raggedly and then the cigarette seemed to be forgotten between her fingers. She never drew on it again. | Dao sam joj cigaretu, upalio šibicu i pružio je. Povukla je puna pluća dima i zatim ga ispustila u krpama, a nakon toga cigareta kao da je ostala zaboravljena među njenim prstima. Više nije povukla. |
| “Well, the Missing Persons Bureau can’t find him,” I said. “It’s not so easy. What they can’t do it’s not likely that I can do.” | — Dakle, Ured za nestale osobe ne može ga naći — rekoh. — Nije to tako lako. Što oni ne mogu učiniti, nije vjerojatno da mogu ja. |
| “Oh.” There was a shade of relief in her voice. | — A. — U njenu je glasu bila nijansa olakšanja. |
| “That’s one reason. The Missing Persons people think he just disappeared on purpose, pulled down the curtain, as they call it. They don’t think Eddie Mars did away with him.” | — To je jedan razlog. Narod iz Ureda za nestale osobe misli da je nestao naprosto zato što mu se htjelo, da je spustio rolo, kako to oni vele. Ne misle da je Eddie Mars završio posao s njim. |
| “Who said anybody did away with him?” | — Tko je rekao da je itko završio posao s njim? |
| “We’re coming to it,” I said. | —r Doći ćemo i na to — rekoh. |
| For a brief instant her face seemed to come to pieces, to become merely a set of features without form or control. Her mouth looked like the prelude to a scream. But only for an instant. The Sternwood blood had to be good for something more than her black eyes and her recklessness. | Na kratki trenutak učinilo se kao da joj se lice raspalo na komade, da je naprosto postalo skup pojava bez oblika i izvan kontrole. Ustasujoj izgledala kao preludij za vrisak. Ali samo na trenutak. Mora da je Sternwoodova krv 5Ha dobra i još za nešto, ne samo za crne oči i bezobzirnost. |
| I stood up and took the smoking cigarette from between her fingers and killed it in an ashtray. Then I took Carmen’s little gun out of my pocket and laid it carefully, with exaggerated care, on her white satin knee. I balanced it there, and stepped back with my head on one side like a window-dresser getting the effect of a new twist of a scarf around a dummy’s neck. | Ustao sam, uzeo cigaretu što joj se dimila među prstima i dotukao je u pepeljari. Zatim sam iz džepa izvadio Carmenin mali pištolj i pažljivo ga položio, s pretjeranom brižljivošću, na Vivianino bijelo satensko koljeno. Uravnotežio sam ga ondje pa odstupio nagnuvši glavu u stranu, nalik na aranžera izloga koji promatra efekt novog namota šala oko lutkina vrata. |
| I sat down again. She didn’t move. Her eyes came down millimeter by millimeter and looked at the gun. | Ponovno sam sjeo. Nije se pomakla. Oči su joj se.spustile milimetar po milimetar i pogledale pištolj. |
| “It’s harmless,” I said. “All five chambers empty. She fired them all. She fired them all at me.” | — Bezopasan je — rekoh. — Svih pet komora prazno. Sve ih je ispalila. Sve ih je ispalila u mene. |
| The pulse jumped wildly in her throat. Her voice tried to say something and couldn’t. She swallowed. | Puls joj je u vratu vidljivo poskočio. Glas joj je pokušavao nešto kazati, ali nije mogao. Progutala je slinu. |
| “From a distance of five or six feet,” I said. “Cute little thing, isn’t she? Too bad I had loaded the gun with blanks.” I grinned nastily. “I had a hunch about what she would do—if she got the chance.” | — S udaljenosti od oko metar i pol ili dva — rekoh. — Slatko malo zlato, nije li? Prava šteta što sam pištolj nabio ćorcima. — Zločesto sam se nacerio. —Imao sam špu-rijus što bi mogla učiniti. .. kad bi dobila priliku. |
| She brought her voice back from a long way off. “You’re a horrible man,” she said. “Horrible.” | Vratila je glas iz velike daljine. — ;Vi ste užasan čovjek— rekla je. — Užasan. , |
| “Yeah. You’re her big sister. What are you going to do about it?” | —* Jesam. Vi ste njena velika sestra. Što ćete učiniti s tim u vezi? |
| “You can’t prove a word of it.” | "Ne možete dokazati ni jednu jedinu riječ od svega toga." |
| “Can’t prove what?” | — Dokazati što? i |
| “That she fired at you. You said you were down there around the wells with her, alone. You can’t prove a word of what you say.” | Da je pucala u vas. Rekli ste da ste bili ondje dolje oko izvora s njom; da ste bili sami. Ne možete dokazati ni riječ od onoga što ste rekli. |
| “Oh that,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking of trying. I was thinking of another time—when the shells in the little gun had bullets in them.” | — O, to — rekoh. — Nisam mislio na pokušaj. Mislio sam na .jednu drugu zgodu, kad su čahure u pištoljčiću imale zrna na sebi. |
| Her eyes were pools of darkness, much emptier than darkness. | Oči suijoj bile jezera mraka, mnogo praznije od njega. |
| “I was thinking of the day Regan disappeared,” I said. “Late in the afternoon. When he took her down to those old wells to teach her to shoot and put up a can somewhere and told her to pop at it and stood near her while she shot. And she didn’t shoot at the can. She turned the gun and shot him, just the way she tried to shoot me today, and for the same reason.” | " Mislio sam na dan kad je nestao Regan — rekoh. — Kasnog popodneva. Kad ju je odveo dolje do tih naftnih izvora da je uči pucati, kad je stavio konzervu negdje i rekao joj da je sruši, i stao kraj nje dok bude pucala. Ali ona nije pucala u konzervu. Okrenula je pištolj i ustrijelila njega, baš onako kao što je danas pokušala mene, a zbog istog razloga. |
| She moved a little and the gun slid off her knee and fell to the floor. It was one of the loudest sounds I ever heard. Her eyes were riveted on my face. Her voice was a stretched whisper of agony. “Carmen! Merciful God, Carmen!… Why?” | Malo se pomakla i pištolj joj je kliznuo s koljena i pao na pod. Bio je to jedan od najglasnijih zvukova što sam ih ikada čuo. Oči su joj bile prikovane za moje lice. Glas joj je bio razvučeni šapat agonije. — Carmen!... Milostivi bože, Carmen! ... Zašto? |
| “Do I really have to tell you why she shot at me?” | — Moram li vam odista reći zašto je pucala u mene? |
| “Yes.” Her eyes were still terrible. “I’m—I’m afraid you do.” | — Da. — Oči su joj još uvijek bile užasne. — Bojim ... bojim se da morate. |
| “Night before last when I got home she was in my apartment. She’d kidded the manager into letting her in to wait for me. She was in my bed—naked. I threw her out on her ear. I guess maybe Regan did the same thing to her sometime. But you can’t do that to Carmen.” | — Pretprošle noći kad sam se vratio kući bila je u mom stanu. Zeznula je nadstojnika da je pusti, kako bi me pričekala. Bila je u mom krevetu, gola. Za uši sam je izbacio van. Pretpostavljam da joj je Regan nekom zgodom učinio isto. Ali Carmen ne smijete napraviti takvu stvar. |
| She drew her lips back and made a half-hearted attempt to lick them. It made her, for a brief instant, look like a frightened child. The lines of her cheeks sharpened and her hand went up slowly like an artificial hand worked by wires and its fingers closed slowly and stiffly around the white fur at her collar. They drew the fur tight against her throat. After that she just sat staring. | Uvukla je usne i učinila malodušni pokušaj da ih ob-liže. To ju je, na kratak trenutak, učinilo nalik uplašenom djetetu. Crte su joj se lica izoštrile a ruka joj se podigla polako kao proteza pokretana pomoću žica; prsti su joj se polako i čvrsto stegli oko bijelog krzna ovratnika. Povukli su krzno čvrsto uz grlo. Nakon toga naprosto je sjedila i zurila. |
| “Money,” she croaked. “I suppose you want money.” | — Novac — rekla je kreštavim glasom. — Pretpostavljam da želite novac. |
| “How much money?” I tried not to sneer. | — Koliko novca? — Pokušao sam se ne nasmiješiti prezrivo. |
| “Fifteen thousand dollars?” | — Petnaest tisuća dolara? |
| I nodded. “That would be about right. That would be the established fee. That was what he had in his pockets when she shot him. That would be what Mr. Canino got for disposing of the body when you went to Eddie Mars for help. But that would be small change to what Eddie expects to collect one of these days, wouldn’t it?” | Kimnuo sam. — To bi otprilike bilo u redu. To bi bila utvrđena cijena. To je bilo ono što je imao u džepovima kad ga je ustrijelila. To bi bilo ono što je mister Canino dobio da ukloni tijelo nakon što ste otišli do Eddija Marsa da vam pomogne. No to bi bio mali kusur prema onome što Eddie očekuje da će skupiti jednoga dana, zar ne? |
| “You son of a bitch!” she said. | — Ti kujin sine — rekla je. |
| “Uh-huh. I’m a very smart guy. I haven’t a feeling or a scruple in the world. All I have the itch for is money. I am so money greedy that for twenty-five bucks a day and expenses, mostly gasoline and whiskey, I do my thinking myself, what there is of it; I risk my whole future, the hatred of the cops and of Eddie Mars and his pals. I dodge bullets and eat saps, and say thank you very much, if you have any more trouble, I hope you’ll think of me, I’ll just leave one of my cards in case anything comes up. | — A-ha. Ja sam vrlo bistar momak. Nemam ni osjećaja ni skrupula prema ičem na svijetu. Sve što me svrbi, to je novac. Ja sam tako pohlepan da za dvadeset i pet bak-si na dan, plus troškove, uglavnom benzin i viski, sva svoja razmišljanja sam obavljam, pa koliko toga bilo; da za njih riskiram čitavu budućnost, mržnju murjaka, Eddija Marsa i njegovih prijana, vrdam pred mecima i ručam batine, i govorim hvala vam lijepa, ako budete opet imali problema, nadam se da ćete misliti na mene, samo ću vam ostaviti posjetnicu za slučaj da nešto iskrsne. |
| I do all this for twenty-five bucks a day—and maybe just a little to protect what little pride a broken and sick old man has left in his blood, in the thought that his blood is not poison, and that although his two little girls are a trifle wild, as many nice girls are these days, they are not perverts or killers. And that makes me a son of a bitch. All right. I don’t care anything about that. I’ve been called that by people of all sizes and shapes, including your little sister. | I ja sve to radim za dvadeset i pet baksi na dan — i možda sasvim malo zato da bih zaštitio još to malo ponosa što je u slomljenom i bolesnom starcu ostalo prema svojoj krvi, jer misli da njegova krv nije otrov, i da iako su njegove dvije curice mrvicu divlje, kao što su i mnoge druge dobre curice u ova vremena, ipak nisu perverznjaci i ubojice. I zbog toga sam kujin sin. U redu. Nije me ni najmanje briga zbog toga. Nazivali su me tako ljudi svih modela i veličina, uključujući tu i vašu sestricu. |
| She called me worse than that for not getting into bed with her. I got five hundred dollars from your father, which I didn’t ask for, but he can afford to give it to me. I can get another thousand for finding Mr. Rusty Regan, if I could find him. Now you offer me fifteen grand. That makes me a big shot. With fifteen grand I could own a home and a new car and four suits of clothes. | Nazvala me i gore, jer nisam pošao s njom u krevet. Dobio sam pet stotina dolara od vašeg oca, za koje ga nisam molio, no koje je on sebi mogao dopustiti da mi ih da. Mogu dobiti još tisuću da nađeni mistera Rustvja Regana, ako ga uspijem pronaći. Sada mi vi nudite petnaest somova. To me čini velikom ribom. S petnaest somova mogu kupiti kuću i nova kola i četiri kompleta odijela. |
| I might even take a vacation without worrying about losing a case. That’s fine. What are you offering it to me for? Can I go on being a son of a bitch, or do I have to become a gentleman, like that lush that passed out in his car the other night?” She was as silent as a stone woman. | Mogu čak i otići na proputovanje ne brinući hoću li izgubiti kovčeg. To je lijepo. A za što mi to nudite? Mogu li nastaviti biti kujin sin, ili moram postati gentleman, nalik na onog cugera što je one večeri pao u komu u svom automobilu? Bila je tiha poput žene od kamena. |
| “All right,” I went on heavily. “Will you take her away? Somewhere far off from here where they can handle her type, where they will keep guns and knives and fancy drinks away from her? Hell, she might even get herself cured, you know. It’s been done.” | — U redu — nastavio sam snažnije. — Hoćete li je skloniti? Nekamo daleko gdje znaju izaći na kraj s njenom vrstom, gdje će pištolje i noževe i pića za sanjanje držati podalje od nje? Do đavola, možda joj se čak dogodi da je izliječe, znate. Već je toga bilo. |
| She got up and walked slowly to the windows. The drapes lay in heavy ivory folds beside her feet. She stood among the folds and looked out, towards the quiet darkish foothills. She stood motionless, almost blending into the drapes. Her hands hung loose at her sides. Utterly motionless hands. She turned and came back along the room and walked past me blindly. When she was behind me she caught her breath sharply and spoke. | Ustala je i polako odšetala do prozora. Draperije su joj u teškim bjelokosnim naborima ležale kraj nogu. Stajala je među njima i gledala van, prema tihim crnkastim obroncima. Stajala je nepokretno, gotovo se stopivši sa zastorima. Ruke su joj labavo visjele niz bokove. Potpuno nepokretne ruke. Okrenula se i vratila duž čitave sobe, i slijepo prošla pokraj mene. Kad mi se našla iza leđa, oštro je u-hvalila dah i progovorila. |
| “He’s in the sump,” she said. “A horrible decayed thing. I did it. I did just what you said. I went to Eddie Mars. She came home and told me about it, just like a child. She’s not normal. I knew the police would get it all out of her. | — On je u kaljužnoj jami — rekla je. — Užasna raspadnuta stvar. Ja sam to učinila. Učinila sam upravo što ste kazali. Otišla sam do Eddija Marsa. Vratila se kući i sve mi rekla, baš kao dijete. Ona nije normalna. Znala sam da bi policija izvukla sve iz nje. |
| In a little while she would even brag about it. And if dad knew, he would call them instantly and tell them the whole story. And sometime in that night he would die. It’s not his dying—it’s what he would be thinking just before he died. Rusty wasn’t a bad fellow. I didn’t love him. He was all right, I guess. He just didn’t mean anything to me, one way or another, alive or dead, compared with keeping it from dad.” | Za koji čas čak bi se i hvastala time. A da je tata doznao, odmah bi ih pozvao i rekao im čitavu priču. I iste bi noći umro. Nije važno što bi umro, nego što bi mislio neposredno prije toga. Rusty nije bio loš momak. Nisam ga voljela. Bio je sasvim u redu, pretpostavljam. On mi samo nije ništa značio, ni na koji način, živ ili mrtav, u usporedbi s onim što bi se dogodilo da sam kazala ocu. |
| “So you let her run around loose,” I said, “getting into other jams.” | — I tako ste je pustili da slobodno švrlja — rekoh — i upada u nove gužve. |
| “I was playing for time. Just for time. I played the wrong way, of course. I thought she might even forget it herself. I’ve heard they do forget what happens in those fits. Maybe she has forgotten it. I knew Eddie Mars would bleed me white, but I didn’t care. I had to have help and I could only get it from somebody like him… There have been times when I hardly believed it all myself. And other times when I had to get drunk quickly—whatever time of day it was. Awfully damn quickly.” | — Pokušavala sam dobiti na vremenu. Samo na vremenu. Pokušavala sam na kriv način, razumije se. Mislila sam da bi čak i sama mogla zaboraviti. Čula sam da zaboravljaju što se dogodilo u tim napadajima. Možda je i zaboravila. Znala sam da bi mi Eddie Mars ispustio krv do kolapsa, ali me nije bila briga. Morao mi je netko pomoći, a to je mogao samo netko poput njega ... Bilo je trenutaka kad sam i sama jedva vjerovala u to. I drugih u kojima sam se morala brzo opiti, bez obzira koje doba dana bilo. Užasno prokleto brzo. |
| “You’ll take her away,” I said. “And do that awfully damn quickly.” | — Sklonit ćete je — rekoh. — I učinit ćete to užasno prokleto brzo. |
| She still had her back to me. She said softly now: “What about you?” | Još je bila leđima prema meni. Sada je rekla tiho: — A što s vama? |
| “Nothing about me. I’m leaving. I’ll give you three days. If you’re gone by then—okay. If you’re not, out it comes. And don’t think I don’t mean that.” | — Ništa sa mnom. Ja odlazim. Dat ću vam tri dana. Ako odete do tada — okej. Ako ne, sve na sunce. I ne mislite da neću. |
| She turned suddenly. “I don’t know what to say to you. I don’t know how to begin.” | Naglo se okrenula. — Ne znam što da vam kažem. Ne znam kako da počnem. |
| “Yeah. Get her out of here and see that she’s watched every minute. Promise?” | — Jest. Maknite je odavde i pobrinite se da je pod paskom svakog trenutka. Obećavate? |
| “I promise. Eddie—” | — Obećavam. Eddie ... |
| “Forget Eddie. I’ll go see him after I get some rest. I’ll handle Eddie.” | — Zaboravite Eddija. Otići ću do njega nakon što uzmem malo odmora. Ja ću srediti Eddija. |
| “He’ll try to kill you.” | — Pokušat će vas ubiti, |
| “Yeah,” I said. “His best boy couldn’t. I’ll take a chance on the others. Does Norris know?” | — Jeee — rekoh. — Njegov najbolji majstor nije mogao. Riskirat ću i ostale. Zna li Norris? |
| “He’ll never tell.” | — On nikad neće reći. |
| “I thought he knew.” | — Mislio sam da zna. |
| I went quickly away from her down the room and out and down the tiled staircase to the front hall. I didn’t see anybody when I left. I found my hat alone this time. Outside, the bright gardens had a haunted look, as though small wild eyes were watching me from behind the bushes, as though the sunshine itself had a mysterious something in its light. I got into my car and drove off down the hill. | Brzo sam otišao od nje niz sobu pa niz popločano stubište sve do prednjeg predvorja. Nisam vidio nikoga kad sam odlazio. Ovaj put sam šešir zatekao bez društva. Vani, svijetli su vrtovi izgledali opsjednuto, kao da me divlje oči-ce promatraju iz grmlja, kao da i samo sunce ima nešto tajanstveno u svome svjetlu. Ušao sam u kola i odvezao se nizbrdo. |
| What did it matter where you lay once you were dead? In a dirty sump or in a marble tower on top of a high hill? You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that. Oil and water were the same as wind and air to you. You just slept the big sleep, not caring about the nastiness of how you died or where you fell. Me, I was part of the nastiness now. | Zašto bi bilo važno gdje ležiš jednom kada si mrtav? U prljavoj kaljuži ili u mramornom tornju na vrhu visokog brda? Mrtav si, i snivaš svoj veliki san, i ne brinu te takve stvari. Nafta i voda iste su za tebe kao i vjetar i zrak. Ti samo snivaš svoj veliki san, ne mučeći se gnusobom svog u-miranja ni mjesta na kojem si pao. Ja, ja sam sada dio te gnusobe. |
| Far more a part of it than Rusty Regan was. But the old man didn’t have to be. He could lie quiet in his canopied bed, with his bloodless hands folded on the sheet, waiting. His heart was a brief, uncertain murmur. His thoughts were as gray as ashes. And in a little while he too, like Rusty Regan, would be sleeping the big sleep. | Mnogo više njen dio no što je Rusty Regan ikada bio. Ali stari ne mora biti. On može tiho ležati u svom krevetu s baldahinom, s beskrvnim rukama sklopljenim na plahti, i čekati. Njegovo je srce kratak, nesiguran mrmor. Misli su mu sive kao pepeo. I doskora će i on, poput Rustvja Regana, snivati svoj veliki san. |
| On the way downtown I stopped at a bar and had a couple of double Scotches. They didn’t do me any good. All they did was make me think of Silver-Wig, and I never saw her again. | Na putu u grad zaustavio sam se u baru i popio par dvostrukih viskija. Od njih mi nije bilo bolje. Od njih sam samo počeo misliti na Srebrnu Periku, a nisam je vidio nikad više. |