Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time

Jerry Seinfeld


Intro

Cab drivers

Airoports

Florida

Candy

Supermarket

Drugstore

Doctors

Best man

Chinese people

Sport

Clothing

Horse racing

Soap

Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time 

Supermarket 


    vidite ljude u dućanu.     You see people in the supermarket.
    samo se znoje.     They're just sweating out.
    nitko ne zna..šta da jedem...     Nobody knows... what do I eat...
    proteine, carbonate, udio masnoće... Bože moj, udio masnoće! prilazimo jedni drugima: dobro izgledaš.     the proteins, the carbs, the fat content... Oh, my God, the fat content! We're just walking up to each other: You look good.
     Šta jedeš?      What do you eat?
    Možda ću i ja. Dućan je tako napravljen da slomi vaš osjećaj da imate život Kao kasino je.      Maybe I'll eat that. The whole supermarket itself is designed to break down your sense of having any life It's like a casino.
     Nema satova, prozora, lako pristupnih izlaza...      There's no clocks, no windows, no easily accessible exits...
    Da li ste ikad pokušali izaći iz dućana, a da niste ništa kupili?     Did you ever not buy anything in a supermarket and try to get out of there?
    Nemoguće je.     It's impossible.
    nema izlaza.     There's no way out.
    Možete vidjeti šta se dešava ljudima.     You can see what happens to people.
    Uđu u dućan, stvarno imaju osjećaj značenja.     When they walk up to the supermarket, they really have a whole sense of purpose.
    Uzeću ovo, uzeću ono, platiti za to, izaći odavde i vratiti se svom normalnom životu.     I'm gonna get this, I'm gonna get that, I'm gonna pay for it, I'm gonna get out of here and get back to my normal life.
    Vidite tu istu osobu 10 minuta kasnije kako...     You see that same person 10 minutes later just...
    Koji je ovo odjel? Zašto sam ovdje došao? Uvijek primjećujući nešto novo.     What aisle is this? Why did I come up here? Always noticing something new.
    Oo, sada ih imaju s mirisom mošusa... Šta je mošus? Pitam se da li se radi od komaraca. Odjel voća i povrća mi je uvijek izazovan.     Oh, they got them in muskeet flavor now... What is 'muskeet'? I wonder if it's made from mosquitoes. Produce section I always find challenging.
    Uvijek postoji neka specijalna stvar koju bi trebal znati. Znate, o svakom voću...     There's always some special thing you're supposed to know. You know, about each fruit...
    Ljetno vrijeme, budite sigurni da su vaše breskve.. Ne znam, šta god bilo.     Summer time make sure your peaches are... I don't know, whatever it is.
    Morate glumiti..     You gotta fake it...
     znate, Tresem, držim ih prema svijetlu.      you know, I'm shaking stuff holding it up to the light.
    Daa, to je dobra.     Yeah, that's a good one.
    Stvarno sam sretan što sam je pronašao. Dinje se kotrljaju niz odjel.     I'm sure glad I found that one. Cantalopes rolling down the aisle.
    Vidi kako zanosi ulijevo, ta još nije zrela. Ne želim tu.     See the way that's fading left, that one's not ready. I don't want that one.
    Stvarno sam impresioniran s ovom lubenicom bez špica, koje imaju za nas.     I'm very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us.
    Sad su napravili sve.     They've done it.
    Sada imamo lubenice bez špica.     We now have seedless watermelon.
    Stvarno nevjerovatno.     Pretty amazing.
    Pitam se kakvo sjeme siju da dobiju lubenice bez špica?     What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon, I wonder?
    Lubenice se ne sexaju, zar ne?     The melons aren't humping', are they?

    Moraju nešto sijati.     They must be planting something.
    Kako to funkcionira?     How does this work?
    I koji tip znanstvenika radi ovu vrst posla?     And what kind of scientists do this type of work?
    Čitao sam da su to razvijali 15 godina.     I read this thing was 15 years in development.
    U labaratorijima gdje cijepaju gene ili, znate, ono što već tamo rade...     In the laboratories with gene splicing or, you know, whatever they do there...
    Mislim, drugi znanstvenici rade na izlječenju side, raka, srčanih bolesti.     I mean, other scientists are working on AIDS, cancer, heart disease.
    Ovi tipovi govore: Ne, posvetit ću život lubenici. Mislim da je to mnogo važnije.     These guys are going: No, I'm going to devote myself to melon. I think that's much more important.
    Sigurno, tisuće umiru nepotrebno, ali ovo.. ovo mora stati.     Sure thousands are dying needlessly but this... that's gotta stop.
    Da li ste ikada pokušali s poda dignuti jednu mokru, to je skoro nemoguće. Stvarno mislim da moramo uložiti novas proučavanju ovoga.     Have you ever tried to pick a wet one off the floor, it's almost impossible. I really think we should devote the money to these studies.
    Mlijeko je veliki problem za ljude u dućanima.     Milk is a big problem for people in the supermarket.
    Nikad nisu potpuno sigurni da li ga imaju, da li ga trebaju.     They're never quite sure if they have it, if they need it.
    Drže ga u najzabačenijem dijelu dućana.     They bury it way in the back in the supermarket.
    Morate ga pronaći, morate se provuće kroz sve te rekalme.     You gotta find it, you gotta hack your way through all the displays.
    Daa, evo ga.     Yeah, there it is.
    Evo mlijeka. Imamo li mlijeka? Ljudi nikad nisu sigurni imaju li mlijeka.     There's the milk. Do we have any milk? People are never really sure if they have milk.
    Mislite da ga imate, možda imate.     You think you have milk, you might have.
    Znam da ga ima kutija unutra, samo ne znam koliko ga ima u njoj. Pa, šta možemo? Jer želite biti sigurni.     I know there's a carton in there, I don't know how much is in it. Well, what shall we do? 'Cause you wanna be sure.
    Nema ništa goreg nego da mislite da imate mlijeka, a nemate ga.     There's nothing worse than thinking you have milk and not having it.
    Znate ono, pripremite zdjelu, žitarice, žlicu, ubrus, TV, novine, sve je spremno.     You know, you got the bowl setup, the cereal, the spoon, the napkin, the TV, the newspaper, everything's ready to go.
    Podignete karton i prelagan je.     You lift up the carton and it's too light.
    Ooo, ne! Prelagan! Ponekad misliš da trebaš mlijeko: Ej, bolje da uzmemo mlijeko. Kao što i mnogi od vas upravo to misle.     Oh, no! Too light! Sometimes you think you need milk: Hey we'd better pick up some milk. Like many of you are thinking right now.
    Znaš, u pravu je.     You know, he's right.
    Možda bi trebali uzeti mlijeko. Pa uzmete mlijeko na putu kući.     Maybe we should pick up some milk. So you pick up some milk on your way home.
    I onda otkrijete da imate mlijeka.     And then you discover you already have milk.
    I sada imate previše mlijeka.     And now you got way too much milk.
    Ni to nije dobro.     That's no good either.
     Sada je utrka s rokom trajanja.     Now it's a race against the clock with the expiration date.
    Ta nezgodna stvar.     That freaky thing.
    Sad jedete velike zdjele žitarica, tri puta na dan.     Now your eating punchbowls of cereal, three meals a day.
    Umivate se s mlijekom.     You're washing your face with milk.

    Mamite mačke iz cijelog susjedstva.     Bringing cats in from all over the neighborhood.
    Požurite i popijte!     Hurry up and drink it!
    Idemo, skoro će rok! Vraćaj se ovamo... Kako znaju da je to baš definitivan datum?     Come on, it's almost time! Get back over here... How do they know that that is the definite exact day?
    Znate, ne kažu da je to oko, par više-manje, otprilike...     You know, they don't say like it's in the vicinity, give or take, roughly...
    Utisnu ga baš na pakiranju.     They brand it right into the side of the carton.
    To je tvoj broj tamo. Ne zezaj se s nama.     That's your goddamn day right there. Oh, don't screw with us.
    Mi znamo koji dan je zadnji. I onda je tako gotovo. Da li ste ikada popili mlijeko poslje tog datuma?     We know what day is the final day. And then it is so over. Have you ever had milk the day after the date?
    Vraški vas plaši, zar ne?     Scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?
    Žlica se trese ispadajući iz zdjele.     The spoon is trembling as it comes out of the bowl.
    Dan je poslje!     It's after the day!
    Puno riskiram! Ja sam pomirisao, vi ste pomirisali, kako bi trebalo mirisati?     I'm taking a big chance! I smelled it, you smelled it, what is it supposed to smell like?
    Meni je mirisalo na mlijeko. Ja ne znam kako su tako sigurni za rok.     It smelled like milk to me. I don't know how they're so definite, though.
    Možda im krave šapnu dok ih muzu.     Maybe the cows tip them off when they're milking them.
    3 srpnja. Za mene jedino teže mjesto od dućana je ljekarna.     July 3rd To me the only thing tougher than the supermarket is the drugstore.


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