Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time

Jerry Seinfeld


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Live on Broadway: I'm Telling You for the Last Time 

Sport 


    Uživam u svakom natjecanju gdje nastupaju nacionalne repke.     I enjoy any sporting event where nations get involved.
    To mi je najuzbudljivije.     I find that the most exciting.
    Olimpijada mi je najdraži sportski događaj, iako imam problem s srebrnom medaljom.     The Olympics is really my favorite sporting event, although I think I have a problem with that silver medal.
    Mislim, ako sam ja olimpijac, rađe bih bio zadnji nego osvojio srebro.     I think, if I was an Olympic athlete, I would rather come in last then win the silver.
    Ako razmislite o tome...     If you think about it...
    ako osvojite zlato, dobro se osjećate.     if you win the gold, you feel good.
    Ako osvojite broncu, mislite: barem sam nešto osvojio. Ali ako osvojite srebro, to je kao: Čestitam!     If you win in the bronze, you think: Well, at least I got something. But if you win that silver, it's like: Congratulations!
    Skoro ste .... pobijedili. Od svih gubitnika, vi ste im na čelu. Vi ste broj jedan... Gubitnik.     You... almost won. Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. You're the number one... loser.
    Nitko nije izgubio... ispred vas. I nisu poraženi za puno.     No one lost... ahead of you. And they don't loose by much.
    Te kratke utrke...     These short races...
    3 stotinke sekunde, 2 stotinke sekunde...     Three hundredths of a second, two hundredths of a second...
    Ne znam kako žive s tim ostatak života.     I don't know how they live with that the rest of their lives.
    Jer moraju ispričati priču.     'Cause they gotta tell the story.
    Svi žele čuti priču.     Everyone wants to hear the story.
    Wow!     Wow!
     Čestitamo!      Congratulations!
    Srebrna medalja! Zar si se spotakao?      Silver medal! Did you trip?
     Nisi čuo startni pucanj?      Did you not hear the gun go off?
    Reci nam šta se dogodilo. To je stotinka sekunde.     Tell us what happened. It's a hundredth of a second.
    Ljudi kažu: Koja je razlika u razlici? Eh, uh, to je bilo to.     People say: What was the difference in the margin there? Eh, uh, that was it.
    Trenirao sam, vježbao, spremao se cijeli život, Nisam nikad izlazio, nisam pio, nisam nikad pio pivo, Radim sklekove otkad sa bio fetus, preletio sam pola svijeta, svi koje znam cijeli svoj život su bili tamo, pucanj je odjeknuo...     I trained, I worked out, I exercised my entire life, I never had a date, I never had a drink, I never had a beer, I was doing push-ups since I was fetus, I flew halfway around the world, everybody I knew in my whole life was there, the gun was shot...
    Eh, ooh!     Eh, ooh!
    I uvijek imaju foto finiš...     And they always have that photo finish...
    Taj foto finiš je uvijek: srebro, zlato.     That photo finish is always: silver, gold.
    To je cijela utrka.     This is the whole race.
    Zlato, srebro, bronca.     Gold, silver, bronze.
    Mrtav zadnji.     Dead last.
    Najbolji tip na svijetu...     Greatest guy in the world...
    nikad nisam čuo za njega.     never heard of him.

    Tip sigurno misli: Da sam imao aknu, pobijedio bih! Neke od disciplina na Olimpijadi mi nemaju smisla.     The guy's gotta be thinking: If I had a pimple, I would have won! Some of the events in the Olympics don't make sense to me.
    Ne razumijem povezanost s stvarnošću...     I don't understand the connection to any reality...
    Kao kad na zimskoj Olimpiadi imaju taj biatlon.     Like in the Winter Olympics they have that biathlon.
    Koji kombinira kros-country skijanje s pucanjem iz puške.     That combines cross-country skiing with shooting a gun.
    Koliko ima skijaša snajperista u tome?     How many alpine snipers are into this?
    Skijaš, pucaš...     Ski, shoot a gun...
     skijaš, bang, bang, bang...      ski, bang, bang, bang...
    To je kao kombiniranje plivanja s davljenjem nekoga.     It's like combining swimming and strangle a guy.
    Zašto te ne bi imali?     Why don't we have that?
    To mi ima smisla isto kao biatlon.     That makes absolutely as much sense to me.
    samo stavite ljude na kraju svake staze u bazenu...     Just put people in the pool at the end of each lane for the swimmers...
    I druga disciplina šta je volim je skeleton. Kada tip nosi to pripijeno odjelo...     And that other one that I love is the __looge__ When the guy wears this slick suit...
    Vozi se na bob stazi, ali to nisu ni sanjke.     This is on the bob-sledge run, but it's not even a sledge.
    Samo je bob.     It's just Bob.
    To se samo ljudsko biće bori za život.     It's just a human being hanging on for their life.
    To je čitav sport.     This is the whole sport.
    Oh, ispružio je prste.     Oh, he pointed his toes.
    Baš je pravi atleta.     Oh, this guy's a tremendous athlete.
    Skeleton je jedini sport koji sam vidio u kojem bi mogli imati ljde koji se natječu protiv svoje volje i bilo bi potpuno jednako.     The __looge__ is the only sport that I've ever seen that you could have people competing in it against their will and it would be exactly the same.
    Kad bi kupili ljude s ulice...     If they were just grabbing people off the street...
    Hej, hej, hej...     Hey, hey, hey...
    šta je ovo? Ne želim voziti skeleton. Stavite kacigu, ne želite ih stvarno slušati kako vrište...      what is this? I don't wanna be in the __looge__. You put the helmet on, you wouldn't really hear them screaming...
    Upravo si...Prika, na skeletonu si. Svijetski rekord.     You'd just... You're in the __looge__, buddy. World record.
    A nisi ni želio voziti.     Didn't even wanna do it.
    Želim gledati tu disciplinu sljedeće godine: skeleton bez volje Smatram se sportašem.     I wanna see that event next year: 'the involuntary __looge__.' I consider myself something of a sportsman.
    Volim sportske stvari.     I like sporty type things.
    Ronjenje.     Scooba-diving.
     Ronio sam u Australiji...     Did that in Australia...
    Bilo je zabavno.      that was a lotta fun.
    Super aktivnost gdje vam je glavni cilj...     A great activity where your main goal is to...

    ne umrijeti.     not die.
    U stvari o tome sam mislio cijeli dan.     It's really all I was thinking about the entire day.
    Ne umri, ne umri, ne umri...     Don't die, don't die, don't die... There's a fish.
    Evo ribe, evo stijene.      There's a rock.
     Koga je briga?      Who cares?
    Nemoj umrjeti... plivajmo, dišimo, i ostanimo živi... jer je živjeti dobro. I umiranje...      Don't die... Let's swim, and breathe, and live... Because living is good and dying...
    ne tako dobro. Pa, tako sam išao s tipom...      not as good. So I go with this guy...
     Mister ronilac.      Mister Scooba-Guy.
    Odveo me u dućan, pazio da kupim sve potrebno...     He takes me to the store, makes sure I buy everything I need...
    Imao sam vodootporni novčanik... najlon...     I had the waterproof wallet... nylon...
    u slučaju da naiđemo na kornjaču koja može rasitniti 50-tku.     in case we run into a sea turtle that can break a 50.
    Vodootporni sat....     Waterproof watch...
    To je vrlo važno, eee...     That's important, gee...
    Ostali ste bez kisika i pogledajte na sat. E, pa sad sam mrtav i kasnim. sviđaju mi se te rizične stvari: ronjenje...     You're completely out of oxygen and look at the time. Geez, now I'm dead and I'm late. I like these somewhat high risk things: the scooba...
    Bio dam jedriti, skakao padobranom, volim malo rizika...     I've gone hand gliding, I've gone skydiving, I like a little bit of risk...
    Ne znam, možda zato ovo radim...     I don't know, maybe that's why I do this...
    Vidio sam nešto, zapravo studija je napisana o tome: Govorenje ispred gomile se smatra strahom broj 1. prosječne osobe.     I saw a thing, actually a study that said: speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person.
    To me imprsioniralo.     I found that amazing.
    Broj 2. je smrt.     Number two, was death.
    Smrt je broj 2?     Death is number two?
    To znači, da prosječnoj osobi, ako mora biti na pogrebu, rađe bi bili u kovčegu nego govorili o pokojniku.     This means, to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
    Padobranstvo je definitivno najstrašnija stvar koju sam učinio.     Skydiving was definitely the scariest thing I've ever done.
    Da vas pitam nešto vezano za podobranstvo: koja je svrha kacige u padobranstvu?     Let me ask you this question in regards to the skydiving: what is the point of the helmet in the skydiving?
    Zar imate šanse?     Can you kinda make it?
    Skočite iz aviona i padobran se ne otvori, kaciga sada nosi vas kao zaštitu.     You jump out of that plane and that chute doesn't open, the helmet is now wearing you for protection.
    kasnije, kaciga priča s drugim kacigama: Dobra stvar da je bio tamo ili bi direktno udario u tlo.     Later on, the helmet's talking with the other helmets: It's a good thing he was there or I would have hit the ground directly.
    Nikad ne skači iz aviona ake ne imaš ljudsko tijelo ispod sebe.     You never jump out of a plane unless you got a human being strapped underneath you.
    To su osnove sigurnosti. Ima mnogo stvari koje možemo istaći kao dokaz da ljudi nisu baš bistri.     That's basic safety. There are many things we can point to as proof that the human being is not smart.
    kaciga je moj favorit.     The helmet is my personal favorite.
    Činjenica da smo morali izumiti kacigu...     The fact that we had to invent the helmet...

    Zašto smo izumili kacigu?     Why did we invent the helmet?
    Pa, zato jer smo sudjelovali u mnogo stvari gdje razbijamo glave.     Well, because we were participating in many activities that were cracking our heads.
    sagledali smo situaciju...     We looked at the situation...
    Odabrali smo da ne izbjegavamo te stvari nego da napravimo malene plastične kape tako da možemo nastaviti naš glavorazbijački stil života.     We chose not to avoid these activities but to just make little plastic hats so that we can continue our head cracking lifestyles.
    Jedina stvar gluplja od kacige je zakon o kacigama, kojem je svrha da zaštiti mozak koji tako loše radi da ni ne pokušava zaustaviti razbijenje glave u kojoj je.     The only thing dumber than the helmet, is the helmet law, the point of which is to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly it's not even trying to stop the cracking of the head that it's in.
    na kraju, kaciga je funkcionalna odjeća.     At least the helmet is functional clothing.
    To cijenim.     I appreciate that.


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